"Well you tell Button that the money in the bank account is emergency savings and your collage fund. Not to mention Vet bills for the next time he eats the sofa and I have to take him to get his stomach pumped at the vets."

He paused.

"And how does Button know how much money I make anyway?!"

There was a  long cavalcade of barking and piper talking muffled over the other end of the phone, as Darren waited Charlotte snaked her arms around both Darren and Valerie.

"Button says that he watched ver your shoulder, and that college isn't that expensive. He also said that he'd eat the sofa less if we had a car to go for rides in."

"Tell button I do not negotiate with terrorists and if that is how he is going to be we will never get a car." Darren leaned into Charlotte as he felt her arm wrap around him and smiled a little, growing more comfortable on the sofa despite his poor sore glass cuts.

Valerie raised an eyebrow at the conversation but didn't interrupt as she too leaned on Charlotte to give the woman more of the seemingly requested physical contact.

A small amount of Barking later piper replied, "Button say's he's not a terrorist, he's a freedom fighter, and that you should respect his rights as a member of the household to have opinions regarding transportation spending."

Chalotte sighed contentedly, happy that she was loved. She missed this. Human contact.

"..." Darren looked at the ceiling as he rubbed some fingers into his temple. "Tell Button I understand his rights and wants but buying a car is not a casual process. Right now we have far cheaper means of transport at our disposal and we do not have to worry about the care and storage of a care. Fair?"

"Is..he really arguing with his dog about not owning a car?" Valerie whispered to Charlotte.

"I think he is," Charlotte agreed.

More barking, "Button says That he's not suggesting it;s a casual process, but if you had a car, late night dates wouldn't rely as much on the bus system's ... Whimsy? Daddy, is Button using whimsy right? I thought it meant things like fantasy and knights."

"You have a dog," Charlotte whispered, "Are conversations like that common?"

Valerie shook her head no. "Sarge does not talk to me like that."
"Gruff." Muttered the pug as he stretched out across both Valerie's and Charlotte's laps.

"Yeah, it can also mean at a whim or sudden unexpected change. Normally it has a playful meaning and often used to describe something fantastical or odd like you are used to." Darren explained dutifully. "And tell Button this dating thing is a very new need. But...he might not be wrong." He admitted after a begrudging moment.

There was a victorious series of barks from the other side of the phone, it sounded almost musical. "Button humbly accepts your compromise and is not doing an 'I win' dance, because that would be rude, Button." Her voice was more of a stern reproach at the end, and it was not directed at Darren.

"Hey, nothing has been decided yet dog!" He scoffed and shook his head. "Ok baby girl, I was just calling in to check in on everything and to let you know I'm ok. I'm going to get back to my date, be good for Uncle Keith and tell him I'm sorry about my phone frying."

"Okay, have fun. I'll tell uncle Keef that you ruined a phone and are sorry about it. Bye Daddy! I love you!"

Charlotte nodded as she eavesdropped, nuzzling Darren's shoulder, "Your dog is silly, but he does have a point about your having a car. I mean, I was kinda surprised that you don't have one."

"My car is a story of lost love." He bemoaned softly. "I had a car, I had a car I loved and spent all of high school working and saving for. My poor Cadillac...same day I got fired from the paper was the day Dr TK used it as a bludgeon weapon on some giant robot monster thing." He sighed heavily at the memory. "I have some hang ups about a new car. That was during the whole time period I was getting divorced from my wife..."

Charlotte nodded, "So your car was the final straw in a string of unfortunate circumstances I'm sorry. I promise that I won't use any cars as Bludgeoning weapons when I fight"

She held up her hand in a peace sign, "Scout's honor. Valerie, You, too."

She snorted. "Please, I'd use Tom as a beating stick before I used some giant ball of shrapnel waiting to happen. Also, laser fists, remember?" She held up her two fists at Charlotte. "Chichi and Bulma don't need any outsider help."

Charlotte looked at her own hands, "My fists don't have names. Should I name my fists? That seems like something that I would do. I mean, I named my boobs, so I might as well name my fists, right?"

"Suggestions, you guys?" She looked to her two friends with interest, seeking their input.

"..." Darren's mouth open and then closed and then open to speak again. "Well fort eh sake of name themeing, what did you name your breasts?"

Valerie punched him in the shoulder. "Fresh! But no really, what are they named Lottie?"

"Owww.."

She hefted herself, jiggling about in her black dress, looking proud as ever about them, "They are the Ma'ams, if you must know, as in 'Yes Ma'ams'. They are named together because they always work best together. I don't think there is a very similar name we could give me fist-ohs, or I probably would have already thought of it."

Darren looked at Valerie uncertainly as though he feared getting hit again if he said anything. His shoulder was already going to bruise from the first hit, he didn't need it to be any worse.
"Well...if you are using Yes Ma'ams you could continue an almost military sounding set with something like Sargent in Arms and Captain Carpal."

She thought a minute, dropping the girls, "That's a little too military. I was held captive by the gub'mint, yanno, maybe something a little less official. Maybe an awful pun like 'paws for effect' or 'fists of blurry'"

"What about bitch and lady? I'm always getting wise guys telling me to act more like a lady. And then you can even ask the crims which one they want, the Lady or the Bitch." Valerie suggested with a grin. "Ehh ehh? Good idea right?"

She stroked her chin thoughtfully, "Yessss. That's sounding good. Not quite kid friendly, but I'm no Majora." She balled her hands up into fists and looked at them, "Maybe? That one goes on the short list. Darren you have a counter-proposal? Something along those lines?"

"Hm, if you want something more kid friendly there is Punch and Judy." He shrugged a little. "I'm actually pretty partial to Bitch and Lady though if you don't mind the stigma attached to them. Personally, I haven't named my fists though."

Her eyes widened, "Punch and Judy! Oh man! That goes on the short list now, too. Okay, got two. Punch and Judy and Lady and Bitch. I like both too much... This is gonna be a hard choice." She looked at both of her fists, going back and forth in her mind.

"Hmmm..."

"Well no rush to pick between them." Darren offered. "It's not like you are choosing between Val and me-"

Valerie scooted Charlotte closer to her. "Well Lottie you know that saying. Sisters before Misters."

"Hey, I was being sincere. I really didn't think either of us be offended by whatever she picked. I retract that feeling. You are as possessive as ever Val."  Darren rolled his eyes at the blonde.

"Damn skippy." She wrapped her other arm around Charlotte. "I'm not going to make things easy on you nerd, if you want Lottie you gotta earn her."

"Oh joy, it's middle school all over."

Charlotte squeaked a little as she was squeezed, "Meep. Hey, Darren already earned me. You missed the time he put on power armor and stopped a team of Brats from firing sleep mortars at me. No fooling. Then he asked me out on a date where he hired a superhero to distract the Brats." She reached over to drag Darren into what was now a Group Hug.