Tomatoes would be almost worth the risk.

Kiwis are worth the sacrifice, too

Obviously.

You'd think it'd be obvious, but I've met some kiwi-haters before, I've decided to not talk to those kinds of people again.

Not likely that they'll leave you alone.

Especially since most kiwi-haters I've met are also certified stalkers!

Surprising that the stalker certification organization is allowed to continue operating.

Gods! You're telling me, I've been trying to transfer the business from privately-owned to state-run for AGES, the world would be better if the prime minister's elected officials were in charge of deploying creeps on the streets.

Stalkers with certifications would presumably be more likely to do a good job, I suppose.

Exactly my point! If you're going to do a bad thing, at least do it well.

Last thing we need is more incompetent stalkers.

So, anyway, what's your favorite felony?

You know, I've always been a fan of treason, but I'd have to say perjury is my favorite overall.

Larceny is a somewhat underrated felonious art

True, but then it's so rare to see it executed well these days.

Seriously? Nobody voted for arson?

Not unusual enough to mention around here.

Even if that's the case, I thought spammers (which we are, right?) love repetition? This must be the work of an invisible supervillain!

Now how'd you get the idea we were spammers?

Surely because spamming is the best way to Waste Time^TM, and is also thematically appropriate-- if bannable-- for a message board.

Despite the efficiency of spamming for wasting time, the quality of the time wasting is lacking. We're serious about time wasting here and aim for quality as well as quantity.

You make a quality point that I hadn't considered, bravo!

Only kind of point worth making, really.

You just made another one!

Eventually my streak will end.