693.  If the GM gives an NPC a name starting with a 'J,' I am not allowed to kill them out of hand, even if previous experience suggests they will inevitably be (a) an antagonist, (b) evil, (c) annoying, or (d) at least two of the above.

694. SING!

695 - As a GM, I will not give all NPCs names that start with the same letter, or that are otherwise similar, just so that I can chuckle as the players try to keep it straight who is who.

696 - As a GM, I am no longer permitted to bring the following items to tabletop sessions:

1. A live cat.
   
2. A loaded pistol (of any calibre).

This message was last edited by a moderator at 19:51, Wed 14 Apr 2010.

*** But if you're just playing,not GMing, they're still okay, right?

705. I may not recycle spell quotes from Final Fantasy Tactics for my mage.
706. Arc the Lad: Twilight of the Spirits is out too.
707. Same goes for Valkyrie Profile.
708. And this goes triple for Touhou spellcards.
709. In fact, any and all referances to the Touhou games are banned. Period.

Life is short...Bury! Steady Sword!

710:  I will no longer make characters whose parents were characters in popular fiction (film, TV, or print) just so I can excuse an attempt to clone that character as "He's just following in his daddy's footsteps."

(712--I will read to the BOTTOM of the message I'm following to determine the correct order to number my entry on the list...NOT the top...*grin*)
This message was last edited by the user at 22:50, Wed 14 Apr 2010.

711. Attacks that aren't technically spells but still have quotes are out as well, I'm afraid.

Would be hard to do here. We have 7 cats and they inevitably mix in.

713. When one of my players gets his die stolen by our cats and asks if someone can see it, I'm not supposed to make everyone roll spot checks.

714.  I will not use a gods bones specifically the rib cage as a platform from which to wage war in the outer planes

715. I will not reduce the outer planes to nothing but fire, magma and ash not matter if it is supposed to be the ultimate battle...that is just cheating.

716. I am no longer allowed to make a pet monster trainer who obsessively tries to catch the cat girl and ghost player characters thinking they are the newest monster.

717. I will never again put Ninja Burger ninjas and restaurants in non ninjas burger rpgs.

718: I may not Convince the GM that my character should become a god, even if there are rules for it.
719: If a GM says to "Bring the character you have played the longest." for a Gurps game I may not convert 'Titania: Queen of the Elven Races' into Gurps.
719b: Not even if I ask him how many points we have and he says "How ever many the character has earned."
720: In fact I'm not allowed bring Titania into a game ever again.
720b: Not even as an NPC.
720c: Or a plot device.
721: In a related note I may not play Oberon ether.
721b: Despite that I have finally realized that Titania could use a divine wish to resurrect him. (See 720c above.)
722: I may not have my characters be clerics of themselves, even if 3rd edition rules allow it.
722b: Not even if they became a god in a previous game.
723: I may not have my Orc Tinker try to get elves pregnant on the grounds that they can both breed with humans. (Even though he has an 18 in charisma & appearance and they basically throw themselves at him.)
724: I am never again to hunt the largest dragon turtle I can find in order to make a tank out of its shell.
724b: Or a submarine for that matter.
725: If I am playing in a normal D&D game I am not allowed to ask the GM if I can play a custom class and rewrite the rules to play a Tinker long hand so he doesn't realize they are from the WoW source books.
725b: Even more so with the Engineer prestige class.
725c: Even though it is less dangerous I am not allowed to take Craft: Mechanical Device on otherwise normal characters.
This message was last edited by the user at 21:16, Thu 15 Apr 2010.

726: "Solve problems with bullets" is not a class skill.

727: Even if it was, I'm not allowed to use it to "shoot the pretty out of him" regarding attractive androgynous villains.

728:  When playing 'a good guy', I will NOT resort to a scorched-earth policy to cover my tracks as I move from location to location while scouting enemy positions.  Yes, it leaves no witnesses alive to say I was there...but it also kind of obviates any need for witnesses...

729. Antrhax infected cows are not weapons I am permitted to use

730. Even if I am studying microbiology at uni I will not use this knowledge to convince the GM that I can use biological attacks to absurd levels

731. Genocide through genetically targeted disease may work on rabbits but I can not adapt it even if I do play a mad scientist

732. I am no longer permitted to play a scientist of any kind.

730. For some reason, I am not to use anthrax infected sheep. I see now my GM had it wrong, only cows are a problem!

731. Mixing anthrax spores in the villains cocaine makes me more evil than they are.
This message was last edited by the user at 14:25, Fri 16 Apr 2010.

732. Combining sulphur, charcoal and manure to make gunpowder in a fantasy setting is not allowed, nor is it particularly clever. I may not try it again.
733. I must not use a fire elemental to light my cigar in a badass manner.

734:  When attempting to resolve an issue using skills which I, as a player, am more familiar with than my GM, I will not intentionally come up with a totally bogus twist on the whole thing and try and sell the GM on it with the, "Really?  You're going to argue this with me, when I know more about it than you?" ploy...

735:  If I am ever a GM again (*insert laughtrack here*), I will remember all the times that I was allowed to get away with trying a totally bogus option and pass that favor along, rather than crushing all hope from the outset.
This message was last edited by the user at 16:49, Fri 16 Apr 2010.

This message was deleted by the user at 07:48, Fri 16 Apr 2010.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was inflammatory, at 07:49, Fri 16 Apr 2010.

736. Fire elementals with a gunpowder addiction are *not* amusing to PC's guarding a gunpowder caravan.
737. Having the mystic advising the characters on what is necessisary to stop the villanous plot be sadly deluded is just wrong.
740. Numbering lists in octal to make them seem longer is also a bad idea.

7??  - I am no longer allowed to play a Brujah with 1 intelligence who is capable of killing the entire party single handedly.

7?? + 1 - I am no longer allowed to play a Gnome character.  Unless I play them in character, and use my Gnome voice at all times.

743: I will not draw my sonic screw driver in the middle of a DnD session and 'pick' the locks

744: I will not then pull out my spare sonic screw driver has been confiscated.

745: I will not then pull out my sonic pen

746: I may not bring my dr who things to DnD games.

747: In the 7th Sea game, I am not allowed to have my Explorer ask "Who looks at a screwdriver and says 'This could be more Syrneth'?"

748: I am not allowed to grow a TARDIS, no matter how many Leaps of Logic my Invisible College scientist is willing to make.

749: Daleks as Bargainers?  Yeah, bad idea.