102) I will not run a half giant with a weapon proficiency in 'halfling'
103) I will not ever again put a sign on the back of the hairy half giant that reads:
'Thunderthighs
Queen of the Barbarians
kiss me quick'
especially in the city of tyrannical and puritanical priests

104. I'm not going to start a reply to the GM with "Yes, but..." again and then proceed to pluck his interesting idea apart. Especially not in a space setting.
105. I will not play a mad scientist anymore. I scare the other players too much.
106. A lawful good vampire bard is playable. I have proven it, now I will not attempt to play another one.

107. I will not skip the number 13 when making lists (see post #1)

108. Insist that sufficient application of fire spells solves all problems, even if I have the Searing Spell metamagic feat.
109. "Don't have a plan" is not a good plan, even when you're concerned about mind readers.
This message was last edited by the user at 03:21, Sun 28 Mar 2010.

110. Set myself up as a god
111. Set myself up as the god of gods
112. Manipulate the party into splitting into multiple groups to watch GM twitch
113. Loose my ring of rail roading again...and again...and again..
114. Bring real science into debates with GM
115. Use my familiar as a one handed weapon
116. Make it a personal quest to make all NPC's cry

Some of these are so good, they make me want to play in a game like that! A troll wielding two kobolds? Thats awesome.


117. I cannot gradually describe my character more and more until it's obvious I'm describing Chuck Norris


118. Even if he can use them from the start, my barbarian can't specialize in fencing weapons.

119. My bard knows more songs than just "my humps, my lovely lady humps"

120. Female minotaurs do not have udders. This issue is closed.

121: I will not have a telepathic troll martial artist leaping from dragonback to attack another dragon in midair, thus getting quadruple damage for both the charge effect and attacking from behind (and then have the first dragon pick me up as I fall further down...yes, I admit it, I really did this once.  The scary thing is, for the party that was playing, I was right about average...)

It WAS pretty cool...shoulda seen the GMs eyes go wide when I described what I was doing.  And as soon as one of the kobolds got too pulpy to be effective, I threw him aside and grabbed another one...

122--I will try to avoid making the GM cry by twisting seemingly insignificant details in the favor of the party and exploiting loopholes the GM opened up for us (I just won't try too hard, is all...*laugh*)

123: I will not debate just how flammable dusty spider webs may or may not be.

124) When playing a charmed female adventurer (charmed by 'frisky' satyrs no less), I will not answer the gm with 'I don't know' when asked which male party member I see as they come over the hill to rescue us and chase the satyrs away.

* Yes this did happen and lets just say I cannot tell what happened because of RPOLS adult clauses
This message was last edited by the user at 06:38, Sun 28 Mar 2010.

These are real house rules from my old gaming group - that is real things that I was informed I was no longer allowed to do in my gaming group.

125. I am no longer allowed to play any female feline-type person, female who thinks she is a feline, anybody with a feline proclivity or persuasion, or anybody who may potentially develop a liking for cats.
126. I am no longer allowed to use raw fairy dust as a way to punish bad behavior in other players' characters.
127. "We need to go now" is not a direct enough statement when I steal a dragon's entire hoard and know that it is coming after me and is going to kill my party. If I must do such a thing, I am required to be more direct with my instructions, i.e. "I have upset another dragon and he will eat you if you do not run away now."
128. I am no longer allowed to convince every PC and NPC in the game that they are my mother/father.
129. Related to above, I am no longer allowed to convince the king of the giants that my kender character is actually the princess of the realm.
130. In fact, on that note, I am no longer allowed to play a kender.
131. I am no longer allowed to make snooty in-character comments when certain players start role-playing two separate characters with themselves.
132. I am no longer allowed to play any character that requires me to do research in the DSM-IV to properly display their mental derangement.
133. Although not specifically forbidden, I am to avoid shooting the PC who captains our ship because he refuses to let my character out of the air-lock and into space.
134. I am no longer allowed to brand super-villains we have already captured as a way of keeping tally.
135. I am no longer allowed to use childrens music as a way of interrogating super-villains as it is against the Geneva convention.
136. I am no longer allowed to use LSD in any major cities' water supply in order to cover up for the less-than-intelligent moves of others on my team and then blame it on the super-villains we are currently fighting.
137. I am no longer allowed to threaten a certain player's characters with castration repeatedly just because I want to see him fall out of his chair clutching himself. If I must threaten castration, I must have a better reason.

I had more, but I can't recall them at the moment.
This message was last edited by the user at 04:49, Sun 28 Mar 2010.

Very flammable, if you ask my GM (see rule #108) -- I thought it worked great, but the party rogue was less happy (and unconscious).

Speaking of which...

138. Contrary to what some people may think, the party is not supposed to spend as much time nearly killing each other as killing their enemies.

139.  Waisen are not allowed as an emergency meat supply in the 7th Sea game.

140. Canalization of party is not acceptable when other food may be found
141. Will not torture our enemies by reading bed time stories that have been preverted
142. (after 141). I am not permitted to aid in or give ideas for torture.
143. Hyper Super Speed Boost is not a power regardless of red cordial consumed
144. Sleeping with everyone in an attempt to get discounts.. (apparently it holds up the party)
145. use the party pies and sausage rolls for descriptive purposes not related to battle groups.
146. I am no longer permitted under the table, with the other female players
147. Or male
148. Or allowed under there at all anymore...not even from dropped dice


(Get your minds out of the gutter....I tied shoe laces together, and held secret meetings...stole socks....tickled people.... made distracting noises)

149.  I am no longer allowed to play Clerics or divine casters of any sort on a "Mission from God" to get the band back together.

.149a  I must not name my characters Elway or Jake Blues, and must not call all female clerics "The Penguin".

150.  I am longer be allowed to play CN Clerics who proclaim the Lawful Evil Priests of a brutal dicatorships must convert to the worship of the Metal Jesus who preaches the virtues of the Sixties and Rock and Roll.

150a.  There is no such entity as The Metal Jesus.  Even if by the off chance there is,  I am not allowed to worship him or attempt to convert enemies to his name.

151. I must not refer to every human or fleshy NPC as "Squishy" or attempt to exterminate them as part of my plans for world domination and genocide.

152. I am not allowed to attempt to take over the world through clever use the rules and bribing the other players to go along with me.

153. I must never again make mention of HK-47 and his great mission to purge the Meatbags.

154. I am not allowed to play HK-47 or an HK-47 clone ever again.
This message was last edited by the user at 06:24, Sun 28 Mar 2010.

Oh right!

155. We - the group as a whole - are not allowed to pull weapons on the GM unless it is done unanimously as a group and at a time when the GM is so distracted with power that he doesn't notice when we start to go for the weapons. (Above weapons must not be of projectile types unless projectiles are nerf.)
This message was last edited by the user at 06:27, Sun 28 Mar 2010.

156. I must not declare war on the GM for my own amusement, or proceed to derail the entire campaign through insane stunts and mastery of CODzilla-Fu
156a. CODzilla-Fu is not a valid martial arts choice for my monk.

157. I must not refer to Chejop Kejack as Chopsticks Carjack, or "Old Ketchup".

158. I cannot create a lesser God of Rock and Roll,...and name him Metal Jesus to circumvent the loophole.

159. I cannot shapeshift into an Essence Cannon even if I spent the proper XP to develop a Knack specifically for that purpose.

160. My Exalt's motivation must not be to 'Unleash The Kukla To Better Creation"

161: I will no longer offer suggestions for others' character names, along the lines of 'Boyd Weezer' or 'Kole Shlaugh'.

162:  Likewise, I will avoid potentially off-color suggestions for transponder codes and passwords.

163:  I will limit myself to one extended string of running puns per gaming session.

163a:  It's been done to death--no more telling someone they're going to get a cetacean for poor oceanographic puns...

164. I will stop convincing other players to create PCs of my PCs alignment, just so we could go create chaos.. or on holy missions... or towards world domination.
165. Not every female dwarf we meet is named Eusebia.
166. I will not slowly insert my own plot into the GM's campaign and secretly take over.

167. I may not have a vorpal bunny as my mage's familiar.
168. Or a dire deer tick.
169. Hand puppets are not my familiar either.
This message was last edited by the user at 13:46, Sun 28 Mar 2010.

170. I will not make a cyberpunk character that has almost no skills other than social, with the highest stat in Appearance.
171. I will not then default to seduction rolls whenever any situation of conflict comes up.
172. I will not then successfully seduce an Arasaka Black Ops team member while he is on a mission, and convert him to a NPC team member.

173. I will not forget the name of my deity when introducing myself as her follower to a group of NPCs.
174. I will not attempt to break down a solid wooden door with a character who is only 6" tall and succeed because I rolled a natural 20.  This will not be allowed in the future.
175. My battle cry is not allowed to be "For Victory And Kittens" when charging in a barbarian rage.

176: I may not bring baked beans for my potion of the snacks.
177: I may not invoke Chibi Cthulhu, even if he is smaller than my head.
178: In a related note I may not be a cleric of Banjothulhu.
179: I may not quote "The Princess Bride" for any reason.
180: Using candles to provide "atmosphere" at the table works better in theory than in practice.
This message was last edited by the user at 16:44, Sun 28 Mar 2010.

178. "Atheist" is not a Prestige class.
179. My warlock is not allowed to cry "Succubus, I choose you!" when she summons her demon pets.
180. The bag of holding may not be used as an outhouse.

Technically, wouldn't this would be x3 damage?  x2 of the base, then x2 of the base again is the same as x3 of the base... oh, I forgot:

181. I will not quibble over the rules. :p