Sounds like you have a picky GM Hornet (The last 3 anyway work for me, to a point - on the Dodge the Earth maneuver, that I believe came out of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy as the trick to learning to fly.

In reply to HornetCorset (msg # 2231):

Hey, no taking credit for my actions! Sides, you were the one that let me succeed the dodge roll. You have no one to blame for that but yourself.

5433: I am no longer allowed to have my character make yaoi doujinshi involving religious icons in a Shadowrun game.
5434: I am no longer allowed to distribute said doujinshi in public to create a distraction for the rest of the team to get inside the building.
5435: Under no circumstances am I allowed to get a hacker to substitute said doujinshi for the film playing at a local theater.

In reply to srgrosse (msg # 2234):

hehehehehehehehehe

In reply to drakean (msg # 2233):

Nice to see you out here and in the community. I bet you'd have some great ones for this thread, too. And, in my defense, the rules didn't say it wouldn't work.

5436: "Rocks fall, everybody dies" is a funny joke. Actually arranging it to happen to ALL the BBEG's henchmen at the same time? Not cool.

Here's one.

5437: If I am playing a half dragon sorcerer, I am not allowed to use my absolutely astronomical bluff score to convince every dragon we come across that I am their child.

5438: It is understood that the previous rule stands for all characters I play, regardless of parentage and class.

5439: Not allowed to give myself an excuse to metagame by naming my character Wade Wilson.

@HornetCorset: that's actually pretty genius!

#5340: As a PC, purposely set up a Kobayashi Maru scenario to get another PC killed.  (Completely legit as a GM/DM, of course...)

#5340a: Sit back and laugh as said character gets utterly annihilated in the ensuing chaos.  Or Chaos.  Whatever...

5341: The voices in my character's heads are not the players sitting at the table.
5342: Nobody accepts bits of string as currency, stop asking.
5343: I am not allowed to name a character Gnome Chomsky.
5344: I may not modify Flesh to Stone to be Flesh to Wood, nor use said spell in conjunction with Warp Wood to make human bicycles, even if the GM did laugh at it.

Yes, yes they are.

5345: If I am allowed to play a kitsune, she is not to have access to relics or high end rituals... EVER. City wide, touch activated, continuous body swap spells are not ok.

The voices in my head are my characters, usually, sometimes they may be players to. There are days it's hard to tell them apart.

5346: Play a Minotaur Bard who has a fever for more cowbell.

5347: The living McGuffin is not to be used as a literal meat shield.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Zomg! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm literally falling out of my chair here PJ. Brilliant.

5348: No longer allowed to carry around a pocket full of "smoke bombs" for quick escapes that are actually poisonous gas grenades.... barely survived the last time I failed a Jump check....

Shadowrun

5349:  I am no longer allowed to use monofilament whip line as a means to circumvent locks.

5350:  I am no longer allowed to hand load shotgun shells with monofilament line.  The resulting mess disturbs not only my fellow players, but the GM as well.

5351:  Rare earth magnets and monofilament line is not to be used in corridors.  My fellow PC's just MIGHT end up running down that hall again.

5352:  Creating a hyper claymore with a kilo of C-4 and 5 kilos of monofilament line results in potential therapy for my fellow PC's.  This is also no longer allowed.

5353:  Monofilament line and food/drink should not be mixed.  More therapy ensues.

5354:  While drones with hundreds of monofilament streamers hanging down does effectively remove enemy combatants, it also removes my fellow runners because they are now vomiting profusely.  It also has serious implications for said drone with just one bad piloting roll.

5355:  Monofilament garrotes are effective, if messy assassination tools.  Ones that yet again lead to more therapy.

5356:  I am no longer allowed to even contemplate usages of monofilament whips, line, or anything else with the prefix of mono.

5357:  Carbon 60 (aka buckyballs), makes too good of a device to stop pursuit.  The remainder of the drums I bought of it will be refunded at three times the amount I paid plus access to experimental cyberware with the agreement I will no longer attempt to obtain it again.

5358:  Aerosolized Paint bombs do effectively remove enemy combatants.  I am no longer allowed to use them.

5359:  I am to return the car stereo that can drown out a jet engine.  The 20K Nuyen will be refunded with additional benefits.

5360:  I am to return the tennis ball mini gun as it was obtained under false pretenses.  I will receive a full refund.

5361:  I am no longer allowed to use tennis balls filled with strike match heads and magnesium dust.  While it is very pretty and certainly deters pursuit, it also tend to have military authorities arrive to investigate "the invasion".

5362:  Releasing large quantities of chalk dust over the enemy is both funny for the look on their faces AND for the look on my fellow players and PC's faces.  Once.

5363:  Asking for actual bio agents will be met with a resounding NO.

5364:  Microdrones and and a kilo of C-4 do take out the enemy.  It is also not cost effective.  We are supposed to make money, not spend it for my amusement.

5365:  The local Troll biker gang is not to be used as:  Speed bumps, emergency padding, a distraction for the enemy, vehicle lubrication, or anything else that I might think of.  It creates ill will in our community.

5366:  I am not allowed to suggest selling off captured enemies, turning them into hookers, getting them hooked on BTLs, or anything in fact.  I am to keep my mouth closed when dealing with anyone we capture.

5367:  Jacking in the enemy decker we captured is not ok.  Especially if I jack him into the electric outlet.  No, it's not ok even if he was irritating.

5368:  Creating insertable explosives is another no-no.  That therapy thing again.

5369:  I am not allowed to suggest chopping up enemy combatants to sell to street docs as spare parts.  Yes, we might make money off of it, but it is just wrong.

5370:  Yes, having our troll carry a 50 lb. bag of polished BB's was funny when we opened it in the hall.  Again, I am no longer allowed to do this.  Turning a team of highly trained corp security into something out of a looney toons show is against the Geneva Convention or something.

5371:  Rolling the bowling ball down the hall was funny.  Trying to pick up the spare with another took the joke too far.

5372:  I am not allowed to convince the Decker to implant BTL software into the corps system.  I suppose there is something wrong with getting a large number of innocent corp wage slaves hooked on the SR version of illegal drugs.

5373:  I am not allowed to have the Decker divert the cleaning products from vat A into the ones from Vat B and then vent into the building.  I know this produces chlorine gas.  This I KNOW is against the Geneva Conventions and is just an all round nasty thing to do to people.  Even if I can say the corp will just but them all new lungs.  It's still evil.

5374:  I am allowed to keep the 'super-duct tape'.  I am not allowed to leave multiple strips across the hall sticky side up.  It annoys the enemy.

5375:  I am not allowed to design weapons grade itching powder.  No, it doesn't matter what my plan is for it.

5376:  I am not allowed to design weapons grade laxative.  Just the thought of it was wrong and NO ONE wanted to hear my plan for it.

Just some of the highlights from my old Shadowrun campaign.

I see - you were the Joker in Shadowrun - distrubingly insane but amusing at the same time.

On the bowling ball, with you my first questions would be (1) what was it made from and / or (2) what was it packed with (as everything seems to be weapons of some kind)

In reply to ShadoPrism (msg # 2248):

Standard bowling ball.  I kept a few 'normal' things in my character's duffel bag just to keep everyone on their toes.  I still have the ability to turn everyday objects into some sort of weapon.  But sadly that campaign got to the point of me having to go into LONG detailed descriptions of what my plans were for some of the more innocuous requests I had IC.

hehehe

How does this work?

5377: I am not longer permitted to use this thread to look for potentially epic players for my games.

Technically, you never were.  :)

They are perfect little molecular balls.  They have NO applicable friction and are the ultimate lubricant.

5378: No longer allowed to kick every enemy as hard as I can in the private areas.
5378a: Private area vomiting doesnt give AOO
5378b: Because they are to busy wretching there guts out, It doesnt mean there open for a sneak attack.

In reply to Andrew Wilson (msg # 2255):

Are you saying you crotch-punted people hard enough to tell the GM they should throw up after it?!

Thats EPIC! XD