In reply to MewtaPhysics (msg # 2331):

Wouldn't that depend on what kind of wand he uses?

5933: I am no longer allowed to request that gms create a feat so that my four armed character can dial wield two handed weapons no matter how awesome it would be.

Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six curses or only five?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is an 11 inch holly and Phoenix Feather core (both nicae and supple), the most powerful wand in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

5934: I am no longer allowed to use mechanical tentacle examinations as distraction when I don't have the Sleight of Hand skill. Especially not on the male crew members. Period.

5924a: This also covers 'by proxy' use of said mechanical tentacle examinations.

Uh . . . can I flip a coin? LOL

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was against the forum rules, at 13:28, Wed 24 Dec 2014.

5926a: Nun Nazi Porn Sl*ts from Hell.
5926b: Nun Nazi Porn Sl*t Zombies from Hell.

'nuff said.

Update: next number post should be 5936 (last one was in the wrong order)

I'm not sure where 5935 is, but the last several posts have been addendums to options in the 5920s range.
Also we jumped a few hundred around post number 2325-2329
This message was last edited by the user at 20:17, Wed 24 Dec 2014.

5935 When playing a world of darkness game, in which I am a life mage, I may not transform a nearby tree into a swarm of camel spiders, then give those camel spiders wings.

5936 I may not, when playing a psychic with astral construct, summon my constructs and describe them as magic murder monkies.

5937 I may not play a soulknife, only to prestige class twice and proclaim myself the yusuke urameshi of the game world (soulbow and illumine soul, with healthy doses of greater psionic shot and zen archery)

5938 I may not use my yusuke urameshi analogue, dangled from a flying carpet by rope, to clear a city that has been overrun by zombies of it's zombie infestation by focusing and releasing wave after wave of positive energy based damage that only hurts undead.

5939 I may not invest in bluff, then, in conjunction with the party thief, proclaim my name to be "Country Time" And he proclaim the name "Lemonade", then swap every time someone asks.

59340 I may not grow my character's hair down to his ankles, then animate my character's hair into being a sentient creature, then proceed to designate it my familiar.

59341 I may not designate my Hairmiliar (Hair Familiar) "Fluffy"

59342 My soulknife had to trade in his ranks of profession (cook) and craft (weaponry) to obtain a plot relevant item for the final fight. I may no longer invest ranks in Any Profession or Craft Skill with him. And no, when the DM asks what I want to do when we come to a new town, my answer can no longer be "seek new recepies" nor "Go trade techniques with the village blacksmith"
This message was last edited by the user at 04:12, Thu 25 Dec 2014.

5943: I may not, in a Deadlands game, play a Ladies Man Gunslinger just to shoot "pistols" at pretty girls with my hands.

In reply to Sagetim (msg # 2342):

on 5939, if I were in that game, I probably would have assassinated your character after the first time you pulled that stunt (even if I were playing a Lawful Good personality, I could justify it via Paladin logic very easily - ie your an affront to my god and just had to die).
*shakes head at the insanity*

5944: (Due to the above such ability) I am not allowed to play Paladins any more (for some reason most DMs who have allowed me to do so over the years will eventually declare that my Paladin has become Evil, and turned in to an Anti Paladin.)

5945 At the end of a campaign (no matter how short) when the supreme god of the setting is thanking us for balancing the universe, I may not deride him, call him lazy, proclaim atheism, nor otherwise harangue, cajole, nor insult said being, or, by extension, the DM. It does not matter if their logic is weak, or their ability to articulate why they couldn't do anything is flawed, it's just bad manners. I especially cannot do this when we are playing a game of pathfinder to give everyone a chance to try out various rules.

5945b) I may not play a vitalist anymore in any game run by that GM. Ever.

5946 I may not, on finding the bath house installed in the dungeon we are delving, proclaim "---- it, I am taking a bath." Then proceed to have my character do so with no regard to enemies that might be hanging about.

5947 I may not point out that spiderwalk slippers continue to be active even if the wearer is dead, then utilize the dead-rogue pinata as cover from other enemies in that same combat.

5948 I may not encourage my girlfriend to play an ADHD halfling bard with gloves that leave glowing handprints.

5949 I may not help my girlfriend build a nearly-non-combat Witch to play in a game about a demonic invasion based apocalypse.

5950 I may not suggest character concepts to other players. (They always wind up being people who can, in fact, have a day job, instead of simply being Murder Hobos).

5951 I may not use my soulknife to run up the wall of a tower to a window with one action, then end my turn by expending my focus with psionic shot and throw mindblade to one shot kill a wizard with my mind axe...after the party rogue has spent 30 minutes sneaking up to that location and setting up to ambush him for sneak attack damage in the next round.

5952 I may not place npc wizards at the window of his wizard tower, with no buffs or contingencies already in place, and allow the players to, with sufficient sneaking checks, sneak up and push him out the window so that he dies from falling damage.

Yeahh...well, it was a homebrew game, and both of our characters had good reason to not give the authorities our real names. It just so happened that I saw a box that said 'country time lemonade' on it around the time that our characters were being interrogated, and with a real life nudge and pointing at the box with my eyes, the other player picked up on it immediately. Of course, the box was behind the GM, and not really in line of sight...so nobody picked up on why the names sounded familiar until about two sessions later when we were told to cut it out with those names. Also, there were no paladins. And I was playing a monk. I also had perform (strings). oh right...

5953 I may not play a monk named Kainashi Seiyuuki, then proceed to never give anyone the character's name in character.

5954 I may not play a monk, then invest my skill points into things like bluff, disguise, and perform...then proceed to become a rock star by defeating the challenge of playing Through The Fire And The Flames on a Platinum Harp.

5955 I may not help the DM make the house rules for monk, then Not play a monk when it is appropriate to the play test, thus ensuring that the rules are never tested. (This hasn't happened yet, but one day it might).

5956 Just because I have 32 hp at level 2 does not mean I am allowed to stride into battle wearing just my fancy dinner party outfit and a shield I took from the wall.

5956b) My full plate armor is +1, therefore it Does count as formal attire.
5956c) The GM does not care if my 16 year old character is looking for hot, eligible noblewomen to marry.
5956d) Just because my strength is 20, does not mean I can carry the party gnome alchemist into battle on my shoulders.
5957) I may not play a half-giant (Same GM that does not allow me to play a Vitalist)
5957b) Especially for the increased unarmed damage that a Steelfist Commando would get.

5958) When the big bad is making a dramatic appearance at the start of the campaign, and turns out to be the god of death, I may not proclaim "I don't believe in you!". (From the adventures of my soulknife)
This message was last edited by the user at 05:09, Thu 25 Dec 2014.

5959: When playing a bard, I am no longer permited to play the theme song to beny hill when one of the players keeps running back and forth not knowing what to actually do in a combat round.

5960 I may not make a level 3 transmuter who starts with no combat spells in a game run by a GM who loves combat.
5961 I may not charge a greater stone golem with an unenchanted adamantine dagger on my level 6 transmuter without any buffs, even to distract it from the party cleric.
5962 I may not cast fly in combat just to prove to the other players that it isn't useless, then proceed to rain down call lightning spells until combat is over.
5963 I may not have my transmuter dress and pose as a priest, despite having ranks of knowledge religion.
5964 I may not have my chracter act in a suicidal or self sacrificing manner if he is the only one in the party who has any semblance of a chance of having the right knowledges and languages to get the party through the rest of the dungeon.
5965 I may not have Blood Money on my list of mastered spells to allow the church to confiscate my written copy, compensate me with a different spell in exchange, then continue to have full knowledge of the spell.
5966 I may not attempt to research a blood magic spell based on turning my character's spilled blood into demon killing spears of light, even if my character picked up the celestial sorcerer bloodline with feats
5967 I may not encourage the party fighter to help me take off the hinges from a door with an unbreakable lock, just because the party rogue isn't there for the session.
5968 I may not encourage the party fighter to use the door with the unbreakable lock as a tower shield.
5969 I may not claim the party fighter as cover when he triggers a trap in the treasure room.
5970 I may not encourage the party fighter to use the door with the unbreakable lock as cover against the explosion of the trap.
5971 I may not point out to the DM that if the lock is completely unbreakable, then even if the door was destroyed by the explosion when the trap went off, the party Fighter still has the unbreakable lock in hand.
5972 I may not encourage the party fighter to use the unbreakable lock as an improvised weapon.
5973 I may not encourage the party fighter to get the unbreakable lock enchanted as a +2 weapon.
5974 I may not point out that even though we are stripped of all our weapons, the party fighter still has his unbreakable lock (and my character is still a soulknife).
5975 I may not multiclass my soulknife repeatedly and focus all his level up ability score points into wisdom to grow his will save to the point that even the Atropal final boss can't make him fail a saving throw against it's spells, despite being level 18.
5976 I may not take the penetrating shot feat to turn my 'mind bullets' into an area attack, then stack greater psionic shot onto them to turn them into 'mind cannon'.
5976b) I may not then proclaim my character the Yusuke Urameshi of the setting. (again)

In reply to Sagetim (msg # 2347):

(First DBZ site)
5976 I may not use a character with a long tongue do anything with it that would be marked as offensive or perverted.
5977 I may not make fun of the admins stupid dissions. Even if it was over them making NPCs there main characters even if they never did anything.
5978 I may not kill a person because I "Felt like it"
5979 I may not argue the fact that I was locked in hell from the rest of my days.
5980 I may not start a topic after getting permission from a mod after an admin told me I am banned in hell.

(My site Derpy and Gamey)
5981 I may not let a rock be the death of me (D
5982 I may not run into my Niiiiiiinjjjjjaaaaa Tunnels (G
5983 I may not save the blueberry that kills me (D
5984 I May not say "It was part of my plan" when I am coughing up blood on the ground in ashes nearly dead. (G
5985 I may not run on to a battle field stating I hate everyone (G
5986 I may not brag how I am god and let my enemy cut all my body parts off then lock me into a sphere (No matter how good they claim to be)

My last one

(My first RP ever)
5987 I may not use Gasoline to put out a fire.
This message was last edited by a moderator, as it was against the forum rules, at 06:23, Fri 26 Dec 2014.

In reply to beastboybrown (msg # 2348):

oh, are we counting dragonball z sites too?

5988 If I run the first healer character in the game, I may not name him Max Banders. The name is just too silly to reuse.

5989 When given free reign to narrate things going on in a city wide invasion, I am not allowed to make the police forces provide a competent resistance to the invading soldiers.

5990 Especially if I name one of them Biff, a man who should be with the space army, but was disqualified for his addiction to smoking cigars.

5991 If the admin later asks me to run Biff as a mid-boss for the villain players to have someone to fight, I may not exploit the rules to make him an incredible killing machine. Even if that's what the admin does for everyone else's boss fights.

5992 I am not allowed to utilize argumentation, constructive criticism, nor a detailed understanding of how to balance mechanics to tell the admin why drunkenly changing the rules is a bad idea.

5992b) It gets me banned from chat, then the logs deleted, followed by lies about what happened. Which is depressing.

5993) I am no longer allowed to use my healer's class abilities to avoid dying from a team up of two of the other strongest players trying to murder my character in one round of combat. It angers the admin when Max Banders rises from a golden crucifixion and a powerful lightning attack, only to still have the energy to get working on healing his wounds.

5994) I may not kill the new, low level player who insists on trying to assassinate the other new, low level players immediately... I may not kill the new, low level...

5995) Just because the Admin won't let the current storyline(s) wrap up so that a time jump can occur does not mean I should make plans to use the multiple BBEG's against one another.

5996) Just because my healer can withstand the gravity on planet vegeta by healing himself constantly and taking a breather to replenish his energy, does not mean that my character is now a saiyan. Even if the saiyans feel him to be badass enough to honorarily induct him as one of their own.

5997) My character is not a diplomat for earth, and should not be negotiating with the saiyans to end the threat of the first BBEG in exchange for teaching them healing techniques.

5998) Just because my attacks do holy damage, and it makes sense for vampires to be weak to it, does not mean that vampire characters are actually weak to holy damage, rules as written.
5998b) But when the person playing the vampire in question is willing to roll with it because it makes more sense than the rules as written, we have an accord.

5999) When the rules allow me to instantly kill a player character for not posting in a timely manner (and not notifying anyone ahead of time about not being able to post), I will not refrain from killing them, and pull the punch so as only to break their neck.
5999b) Because said player Will come back cybered up and infinitely more annoying than he used to be.
5999c) That is to say, no lesson will be learned.

6000) Just because my character acts the most heroically of all the player characters, does not make him the hero of the story.
6000b) Neither does being one of the highest level characters by virtue of good and extensive roleplaying.
6000c) Nor does negotiating the saiyans out of delcaring war on Earth.

6001: Yelling "Ha ha! Smokebomb!" While throwing a smoke bomb is not an appropriate response every single time my character gets into trouble. Doing it with frag grenades is even less appropriate.

In reply to Jordan Task (msg # 2350):

Especially if you forget and throw the 'smoke bomb' (that is actually a frag grenade) at or near your own feet. Would end the problem of you doing that ever again though, most likely end your character to.

In reply to Sagetim (msg # 2349):

Dude some of that was harsh stuff that happened. O.O
This message was last edited by a moderator, as it was against the forum rules, at 12:30, Sun 04 Jan 2015.

In reply to beastboybrown (msg # 2352):

yeah, combat was pretty intense in that dbz game...at least for my character.

6002) When playing in an ecl +4 game, I am no longer allowed to play a half-dragon half-giant with monkey grip and a great sword sized for a giant. Should this occur, he will only get one attack per round, no matter how many levels of dervish he has, and that attack will be a melee area of effect.

6003) When playing in an ecl +4 game, I am not allowed to encourage another party member to play a rogue/sorcerer/arcane trickster...Drow Half-Fae.

6004) When playing in an ecl +4 game, we are no longer allowed to have a redeemed half demon phalanx fighter, and round the party out with a were-rat monk. Just because he runs fast, does not mean he can keep up with the rest of the party flying on their wings.

6005) When playing my half-dragon half-giant fighter/dervish, we are not allowed to keep any taint inducing magic items to keep them from falling into the wrong hands. 6005b) Because those hands become our hands.
6005c) And then we kill St. Cuthbert.
6005d) Who is the Pope. And the only remaining god other than tainted nerull.

6006) Just because my Soulknife has a ring of telekinesis does not mean he can throw the party's rogue into the air to take down flying demons in super hell.
6006b) then ride the corpse of said demon down a nearby cliff to avoid falling damage.

6007) I may not use my ring of telekinesis to throw 9 cold iron, holy halberds that were looted earlier in the dungeon at the Balor that is our boss fight to leave. (AFter looking at the damage, the GM ruled that the halberds that hit were disintigrated, but dealt damage).

6008) I may have my ring of telekinesis privledges revoked if I use Up The Walls to circumvent an elaborate platforming trap, then use the ring to carry the party fighter across.

6009) I may not run a sandbox game where the players can get to the last floating city of netheril.

6010) I may not then allow them to obtain hats with scrolls upon them, that automatically unroll to a length approrpiate to the wearer's caster level, and gain symbols appropriate to their knowledge of magic.
6010b) It sets expectations too high about what else they can find.

6011) I may not allow the party fighter, in an evil party, to name himself the masked bastard, wear a bandana around his mouth and nose, and run around with a scythe.
6012b) I may especially not allow this to happen in Forgotten Realms, because he will take the opportunity to kill Drizzit and abscond with the body.
6012c) I must provide more of a challenge to looting Drizzit's body, no matter how well the evil party of player characters pulls off their escape.

6013) I may not allow the party to find a sphere of annihilation at the end of the dungeon, even if it is in the pre-made dungeon.

6014) I may not allow the party to use a lesser wish, obtained as a quest reward in a premade dungeon, to wish for a spelljammer, then proceed to give them a 'spelljammer seed'.

6015) I may not allow the party know it all to make appropriate knowledge checks to identify the proper method of using a spelljammer seed.

6016) I may not allow the party to encounter a premade dungeon with an amulet of the spheres if they have already encountered a dungeon with a sphere of annihilation.

6017) I may not allow the party to combine the spelljammer seed with the amulet of the sphere and sphere of annihilation to create a spelljammer powered by a sphere of annhilation (and the size of a capital ship)
6017b) I may not allow the sphere of annihilation powered spelljammer to travel to an alternate reality prime called "Erf" where the inhabitants have set up a welcome sign in lights on the dark side of their planet.
6017c) I may not then have the players mistakenly welcomed by the MIB of Erf and told that they need to leave because they were not the aliens that the people of Erf were waiting to arrive.
6017d) I may not reference Erf.

6018) If I run a sandbox game where the players are supposed to colonize an island, I may not let them talk me into making the island the size of ireland instead of having a 10 mile diameter as I initially planned.
6018b) I may not then roll up an exact number of goblins that inhabit the island, and have them be the main threat that the players face, requiring them to kill every goblin to clear the threat of them away.
6018c) even if this gets them to level 10

6019) If I run a sandbox game involving colonizing an island, I must make the plot find the players within a reasonable amount of time.

6020) If I run a sandbox game involving colonizing an island, I must make it harder for the players to create their own currency based around the services of the priestess of love and her acolytes.
6020b) Including requiring them to do more than make wood tokens and use arcane mark on the tokens to prevent counterfieting

6021) I am no longer allowed to make up npc names without a random name generator.
6021b) John Goodman, the man-Witch npc, is an example of this problem.

6022) I am not allowed to abuse the homebrew rules for magic to make my character a better healer as a level 1 white mage/6 soldier than they would be as a level 7 white mage.

6023) I am not allowed to compound this by also making them an incredible mecha pilot by taking and abusing the feats that allow me to apply my charisma modifier to pretty much all mecha related checks.

6024) I am not allowed to then capitalize on my massive charisma to pick up the leadership ability, and thus apply my charisma bonus and rank in leadership to either my allies attack and damage rolls, or their defense and saving throws as long as they can hear me.

6025) I am not allowed to use the comm system in conjunction with my leadership. Not because it doesn't work, but because it works so well that the enemies can no longer reliably hit the player character's, nor our npc backup.

6026) Because of another player, I am not allowed to make an Ether chugging beer hat for my spellcaster in the homebrew games.
6026b) Ether no longer exists because of this.

6027) I may not be allowed to make a replacement for ether called spell coolant, because when released from it's confines of a suit of armor the bio-gel will look like a cute little slime and cry out in pain when used to mitigate the mp cost of spells.

6028) To have a Stand power in the Jojo's game, I must limit my description of it to 10 words or less.
6028b) "Interacting with personifications of concepts" fits within 10 words or less, but I don't get double the power for doing it in half the words.

6029) Just because my Jojo's character can use his stand to punch the age off another player's character, does not mean that character's stand also regresses in age.

6030) Just because I know my Jojo's character's stand is powerbombing death off of people to heal their wounds, does not mean that other people can see personifications of death.

6031) Collegiate Arcanist may be removed from available prestige classes in future pathfinder games, because the DM's don't want the entire druid spell list available as arcane spells from a succession of Collegiate Arcanists.
6031b) At least the DM who first let me play the class ran with it, even letting me pick up call lightning as an arcane spell at level 6.

6032) Just because Goodberry is a transmutation spell, and I am playing a transmuter, does not mean I should prepare all my level 1 spell slots as Goodberry.
6032b) that's what one preparation and the six pearls of power I picked up are for.
6032c) on a slow day.

6033) I may not use my soulknife's ability from illumine blade to instantly heal 5d8+5 damage on hitting 0 hp to rise from the ashes of the balor we just melee'd to death, only to look over at the demonic npc observer and freak him out with a smile.
6033b) Even if the other two players in that fight tanked the damage and succeeded their reflex save for half, then tanked the damage, respectively.

6034) My character's alignment should not shift 3 times over the course of the campaign, even if he remains good the entire time. (Chaotic good soulknife to neutral good, to lawful good, back to neutral good)

6035) My soulknife may no longer use up the walls to run his full speed up a wall, then click an immovable rod to prevent himself from falling.
6035b) using this technique to stay out of reach of the melee boss fight and rain mind bullet death down upon him is similarly frowned upon.

6036) I may no longer purchase multiple immovable rods when given the opportunity.
6036b) I may no longer be allowed to purchase even one immovable rod.

6037) I must ensure that anyone who shows an interest in the oriental adventures prestige class Eunuch Warlock knows what a Eunuch is before they build their character towards becoming one.

Ok, I have to give you props for this one - I love when my players come up with stuff like this.  It just means I get to be nastier down the road.

6038) I am no longer allowed to bring in, up, out or refer to the Necronomican.  Ever.  Enough said...

6039) When playing in a freeform horror game, I may not use duct tape and cutting boards to fashion myself some anti-zombie armor...then be taken seriously by anyone, ever.
6039b) Not even if it actually works to stop zombies from biting my fleshy bits.

6040) When wearing armor made from cutting boards duct taped to my character, I have to make sure this is properly described to other players coming into the game.
6040b) I must point out what my character is wearing before an in character decision is reached about who gets to carry the shotgun.

6041) I may not argue that the usage of a real world metal* can allow my character to build a stealth space ship by converting built up heat back into electricity instead of having to vent it in some way.
6041b) No, not even if the game is set in an alternate future.
6041c) Nor when the entire reason that stealth ships are not an option is Because of the need to radiate excess heat.

6042) Just because my character in a Slayers D20 game Can, does not mean he Should reshape the ground near a road into a pit, Transform the pit into stone, fill it with water, then heat the water to turn it into a hotspring.

[6 blank lines suppressed]

*This metal: http://www.popsci.com/technolo...directly-electricity

Why not ? It sounds like a perfectly wonderful way for your party to get ambushed or have all their gear stolen by NPCs while they are making use of said hot spring.