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14:26, 28th March 2024 (GMT+0)

Vents with allowed responses - 3.

Posted by GamerHandle
ShadoPrism
member, 1032 posts
OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
Gamer-Disorder
Sun 18 Sep 2016
at 02:50
  • msg #637

Do bosses really think?  I mean really Pt 2

In reply to pitademon (msg # 636):

You must be really good at your job for them to want you back so much. So that is a good thing yes ?
Merevel
member, 1123 posts
The Unlucky Gamer
Sun 18 Sep 2016
at 03:03
  • msg #638

Do bosses really think?  I mean really Pt 2

In reply to pitademon (msg # 636):

I was the other way around when out for my accident, I had to argue with the doctors and sign paperwork to get my surgery done so I could start mending. they wanted to wait for the concussion to heal, but I could not afford to put off the surgery for 3 more months.
pitademon
member, 814 posts
hi all
Sun 18 Sep 2016
at 05:07
  • msg #639

Do bosses really think?  I mean really Pt 2

I hope they think I am good.  lol.  Been there 16 years and when this new group took over 2 years ago there are only 4 of us 'grandfathered in' left.  The good thing is they did get rid of a lot of the old people who were not doing their job.  Including one gal we called our 'holy roller'.  She did not want to work with you if you not only believe in GOD, but HER GOD.  If you did not go to her church you were going to hell.  I often told her My God could beat up her God and that her God told me to tell her he'd choose who went where and that she had just better do her job or go home.  She wanted to only do one particular shift and not help others who might have needed it.  When the new group came in they said people were going to have to learn other shifts.  She threatened to quit.  EVERYONE said BYE! and waved at her.
RedTeamPyro
member, 157 posts
So edgy he cant cut paper
Idon'tknowwhattoputhere
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 02:41
  • msg #640

Dealing with a DM so sour...

I won't say names, but I just dealt with the most toxic DM I've ever seen, so far. Not only is he supportive of a party member that ditched the party in a time of need, only to slander us to other players, and then finally tried to puppeteer us OOCly when he wanted to blame us. I call him out, DM hounds me, and I try to tell him to let the issue die. Nope, I get harassed consistently by the DM, and then cherry picks or manipulates "quotations" in an attempt to make me look bad when i tried to be reasonable. He kicked me and didn't even let me get my sheet. He then has the audacity to have a "final word" rMail and after I explained his fault to him again, threw an actual "final word" rMail which, to summarize, was only further proof that he was being dumb and unreasonable, and blocked. Coward can't even take what he dishes out. What sucks is that we can't even retaliate against this.

At least I got him nice and salty, all the while being right and reasonable. Suck on that, DM
This message was last edited by the user at 02:44, Wed 21 Sept 2016.
pitademon
member, 815 posts
hi all
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 03:43
  • msg #641

Dealing with a DM so sour...

been there.
worst is when they do this 'I am GM so I will be respected...period.  I do not need to respect you..a player'.  Bullbiscuits! Respect goes both ways.  When a GM puts his NPC's ahead of the overall game and the players, uses his player character(s), to control the game and make the critical moves without the players and their characters the game is not fun.  That is just a poor story teller wanting to showoff.  As a GM should let the players make the mistakes or make the grand moves as needed that is showing respect.
Some time ago I was in a game with a GM(who shall be nameless) who had a player character and it was this one that made all the grand gesture points in the game, If a plan was needed it was his we had to follow even if all the other players put in their two cents and dismissed.  We had a disruptive player (one that really got off wanting to poke the bear), instead of dealing with that player, the targets were basically told 'stay away from him as player and charrie'.  Ask a question or offer input never helped.  He constantly kept ejecting good players who did not go with his flow, including players that were there before he was a GM.  why would he be shown respect after this?
All I can say is you know who he is (or she) and just let others know how toxic he/she can be should it arise, and if you are GM and they apply to your game just tell them no.  And you are better off letting them wander off, eventually good players will stop playing with horrible GMs.
raygun_gothic
member, 39 posts
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 03:55
  • msg #642

Dealing with a DM so sour...

so far, the two GMs i have been playing with have been great! the second GM turned out to be a core player of the first GM's group, that i started playing with, so we're all sort of like a big family. xD
Merevel
member, 1132 posts
The Unlucky Gamer
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 04:02
  • msg #643

Dealing with a DM so sour...

It is funny how that happens sometimes. I remember back when I used to be big in this site, I had to laugh when I realised that my gms were in each others games with me. we kept applying to the same type of game.
Tyr Hawk
member, 217 posts
You know that one guy?
Yeah, that's me.
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 05:53
  • msg #644

A Penny For Your Thoughts

I get it. I really do. Looking for logic with some people is a waste of time and energy and my ability to make keyboards beg for mercy. But why in the Hades' name is it that way? Sometimes I just want to scream because even when you've countered every point, even when you've made all the right moves and they've had to concede everything else, people won't admit when they're wrong. Dead wrong. They just stop altogether, as though they weren't just screaming about how wrong you supposedly were, or they insist that somehow, someway, despite it all, they're still right.

And I get it. People don't like to be wrong. People sometimes won't bring up points they're hiding because of X, Y, or Z. But when all you say is "Well, I still think it's this" then that's just...

I've been in the middle of a very long spiral towards... something, I guess, for a long time. I don't know what, exactly - depression, or insanity, or just pure apathy - but I know that I'm getting there day by day because people don't seem to use or understand basic logical flow. If your concerns are A, B, and C and I address A, B, and C, it is not your duty to come up with D just so you can still say no. If I prove to you, not just to me but to you, that what you've said is wrong, it isn't your moral obligation to downplay that in order to keep your opinion alive. If I, or anyone for that matter, tries to explain to you that you don't know what other people think and feel just because you think you do, and you can't get it through your skull that you're not psychic, or some sort of emotional savant, or whatever else then you're the problem.

I don't know where I'm going with this one. I'm tired and overworked. I'm at a job I honestly don't know if I like or hate, but I know that most other jobs won't pay nearly as well, and I can't afford to be paid less. I really can't. Tuition, sick animals, sick cars, sick family members, rent, insurance, and lord only knows when my laptop is going to go out, and then I'll really be in a hole. Every time I build up a little bit of savings, BAM, something nabs it away. And I'd get a new job tomorrow if I didn't think it would all happen again. And you know what's stupid about that? I tell everyone that if you don't love your job, you shouldn't do it. Yeah, I'm a hypocrite, but I'm also someone who doesn't back down from obligations.

Actually, I have a bleeding heart. I probably have two. Four twelve hour shifts into an 8 day work week and I stayed on for an extra two hours tonight because I wanted to help out my coworkers. I didn't do it for the money, heck no, because I'll barely see a few dollars out of that time I spent, but I did it because I couldn't just abandon them with a store full of people. I helped out because I could, and I always do that. And it's driving me further along this spiral to somewhere (or nowhere, I guess) because, at the end of the day, I just keep doing it. I don't ever stop. I can't. I've tried and tried and I really don't know how to be selfish without it eating me up inside. If I were religious I could blame it on The GuiltTM, but I'm not and so it's just regular, everyday martyrdom.

Because I would. I would throw myself in front of a bus if it would help someone, and I would do it again a second later, broken in every way, if it meant someone else would smile. And that's what I don't get about people. Who in the world is your inability to follow basic logic helping? Is it just your own ego that can't stomach it? Are you somehow saving children by insisting that your interpretation of a vague ruling is right? Is acknowledging someone else's point of view - and not just any point of view, mind you, but one backed up by logic and facts, sometimes even more than your own - really going to hurt anyone? Just acknowledging it. Not saying it's right but just saying "I can see where you're coming from," is that really so much to ask?

And, no, I'm not just ranting for myself (as you might have guessed). I'm ranting because I see people dismiss arguments and rational discussion, or insist on something being a different way, and it does hurt people when they refuse to yield. It hurts group cohesion and it hurts people whose only crime is presenting a logical path to follow that doesn't jive with the one some pig-headed Rules Lawyer thinks is the Only Way (patent pending). Maybe it doesn't hurt all of them, and maybe I just have softer skin than most, but it kills me to see someone ignored and dismissed because someone can't get their head out of their own air of superiority. It kills me to see rational discussion lose out to trolls, to unsubstantiated claims, to petty biases, but it especially kills me when it means that someone is going to see it and think 'Well, it looks like neither side won so maybe giraffes don't exist.'

Giraffes exist, no matter how much I might joke otherwise because of a video I once saw.

... I just don't know what to do sometimes. I don't know if I belong where I am or if I'm trying to hard, or just not enough. Maybe everything I do just isn't enough and if I did more I'd find out that's what I was supposed to do. Doing less feels like quitting, like giving up, like being selfish. And I think - I think, because I don't know - that that's just the guilt talking. But I do feel better when I help people, when I succeed in doing more, and so maybe it's not. Maybe I'm spiraling because I'm supposed to catch a draft somewhere and soar back up. Or maybe I'm just delaying the inevitable, trying to soften the landing. The blow. The end.

I'm not suicidal. I don't really believe in taking my own life for a lot of reasons, nor hurting myself. I do though, in some ways. I hurt myself mentally by agonizing over everything. Over what I should've said, could've said, might've done differently. I hurt myself emotionally by keeping this all bottled up until it bursts. I don't mean to. I just don't know where it's all supposed to go because the last time I talked to anyone about it all it was clear to me, truly clear, that it didn't mean as much to them. I was just another person to them, not me but... anyone. Anonymity sucks when you're spilling your guts. Not the anonymity that comes from being behind a screenname, the kind you can choose for yourself, but the kind that people assign to you. Being no one to someone you're trying to talk to is far worse than saying nothing at all.

I guess it all kind of cycles around, eh? I guess I hate seeing all of this because it reminds me of myself and how powerless I feel to be heard. I want others to be heard and to hear so that maybe there's some hope for me. Maybe I am selfish after all, but who isn't? Who has ever done good deeds repeatedly when they did not experience some sort of good themselves? Maybe an inkling of a feeling of an edge of happiness or peace, but something. Who does good to feel bad, truly bad, with no reward at all?

It's 11:34 and I should've been in bed an hour ago. I need to wake up tomorrow. Go to work. Help more people so I can keep helping people. But as I sit here I keep wondering, keep asking myself in my head, 'is it worth it?' Is it? When there are people who will deny the facts, who will insist on giving you nothing, not even a penny for your thoughts, people who will take that penny and use it to gouge out the carefully laid lines of your arguments and yourself, when those people are the ones with the loudest of voices... how long can you keep shouting against the wind, wondering if anyone hears you? I tell myself it is. I tell myself that if someone doesn't fight then soon no one will, and then, without a revolution, all of it will be lost.

Rage. Do not go gently into that good night. Fight for what's right. But don't let it consume you. Don't let it become zealotry and hate. Listen. Hear. Understand. Try to be the good, the change, you want to see in the world. And Heaven help us, if it's right that it should do so. Or Paradise. Or Asgard. Or Jamaica. Or Narnia. Or anywhere in the universe, in anyverse, in everyverse, help.

Help. For I fear I am lost, and yet I keep going. I keep trudging through the muck in hopes of a brighter tomorrow, and yet it seems I plunge only into darkness. I fear evil. I fear good people doing nothing, losing their hope and faith. If I were religious, maybe that would mean something more. Maybe it would inspire or... maybe it would deject. I don't know. I'm so tired and I just feel like I don't understand. For all I know. For all I get. I don't understand.

I know the advice. I give it out like candy, like free samples, like pamphlets and flyers on a street corner. I've talked to a therapist, I've talked to friends, I've talked to myself and although I probably should, I guess I just don't talk enough to anyone who might give me medication (which I probably wouldn't take long enough to notice if the effects were working). I know. That's stupid. But it gets harder and harder to talk the more anonymous you feel. The more you feel they aren't listening, or that they are and you just can't muster up all this - this wall of text and words. - the harder it gets to try and save yourself. I would hold anyone to a wall and talk to them for hours if it meant someone else would get help. But me? Well...

I guess this is all to say that I wish people were a bit more logical, and that I'm hoping there's someone out there who feels the same. I know there are. I just... I had to say something. I had to, and so I have. It's disjointed and broken and it's made me feel like I'm more lost than ever, but I've said it in an anonymity I've chosen, not one given to me. Maybe that'll make a difference. I hope so. I need sleep.

Thank you for reading, if you have. Thank you, and goodnight.
raygun_gothic
member, 40 posts
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 06:05
  • msg #645

A Penny For Your Thoughts

o.O
GammaBear
member, 684 posts
Gaymer
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 15:24
  • msg #646

Dealing with a DM so sour...

In reply to RedTeamPyro (msg # 640):

Like the saying goes; there's your side, their side, then the truth.

You metagamed. Whether intentionally or accidental is irrelevant. The issue was brought up and then the DM voiced their opinion. The logical and mature response would have been to acknowledge the incident, apologize for your part in it, rectify the situation and then move on. But no, you couldn't do that. You had to make it personal. Granted, the other player in the situation really handled themselves poorly OOCly, but guess what? You don't have to deal with that. You could have done the mature thing and ignored it, but no, you let him win and gave in to his childishness.

As far as all your other slanderous accusations, I'm not even going to dignify them with a response or rebuttal. You know what you did wrong but yet you're here crying wolf trying to get pity.
Merevel
member, 1133 posts
The Unlucky Gamer
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 15:48
  • msg #647

Dealing with a DM so sour...

In reply to GammaBear (msg # 646):

+1

I would have posted the same, but well... sometimes I feel its better to let sleeping dogs lie, as I would hope people can learn from their mistakes. Maybe I reflect more then others though.
GammaBear
member, 685 posts
Gaymer
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 17:05
  • msg #648

Dealing with a DM so sour...

In reply to Merevel (msg # 647):

Seeing stuff like that irks me to the bone. Wanna complain? Fine. I couldn't care less. Wanna completely spin the whole situation to make you the victim. Uh, no. I can't handle that.
Isida KepTukari
member, 118 posts
Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 17:06
  • msg #649

Just do it...

We were supposed to have a guest over this afternoon.  There were a round dozen little bits of cleaning that needed to get done, and I didn't want to be the one to do them all.  So I sent my hubby an e-mail from work so he could at least get a jump start on things.  My husband has a bad habit that he doesn't really clean anything until there's a sharp and compelling reason, like something is inconveniencing him, or there's someone coming around he wants to impress.

Husband of mine, do consider that I give up a portion of my time I might otherwise spend on leisure to clean up the house on the days that I work.  I go to bed late and barely get four hours of sleep a night trying to catch up with housework and unwind from work.  I clean right around you and it doesn't seem to register.  I leave things undone, and they stay undone because that just don't seem to register with you.  It doesn't seem to occur to you to put away the dishes I clean (which you won't clean them because the water apparently hurts your hands, never mind the dishwashing gloves I got you three years ago), wipe down any surface in the kitchen or bathroom without prompting, and if you ever dusted voluntarily, I might expire from shock.

I already know about your back problems and all, but there are lots of smaller things you can do, things that suck up my time and leave me perpetually sleep-deprived.  I work longer hours than you, I work nights, and I'm making 3/4s of our household income.  You can tear yourself away from your damn MMORPG for an hour a day to help with the ding-dang household chores.

I'm at the point where I'm going to have to make an adult chore list, so he can see how massively unbalanced our workload is.  Somehow, my husband thinks we can just do a cleaning blitz for an hour or so before guests arrive.  He seems to forget we live in a vastly larger house than we did two months ago, and it takes far longer to clean when you've let it go for weeks on end.  Yes, you have to dust weekly.  You have to scrub the toilet and wipe down the bathroom floor and baseboards.  You have to shake out the bathroom rugs, vacuum the rugs in the main rooms, and sweep all the hard surfaces.  And mop.  Weekly.  A little every day, just to keep things up so that your one-hour cleaning blitz is more about putting away the day's mail and dirty dishes and doing a quick wipe-down of a few surfaces, not breaking out HAZMAT suits for a four-hour stint from hell.

And honestly, if I just left it until it reached critical mass?  I'd still end up cleaning it all anyway.  I've tried that.  I always break before he does, because the idea of having this lovely new house we bought just go to hell makes me want to cry.
This message was last edited by the user at 17:07, Wed 21 Sept 2016.
ShadoPrism
member, 1033 posts
OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
Gamer-Disorder
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 17:53
  • msg #650

Just do it...

In reply to Isida KepTukari (msg # 649):

Your Hubbies mind set seems to be bachelor slob (being one myself I see it). I Mean to get up and clean, do laundry etc. But for some reason it's just not important till it gets close to critical mass (like your down to 1 more shirt, towel, etc till you do laundry, not that it's hard, just does not seem important.
Hm, reading this I realize I just described signs of Depression. May have to get that looked in to someday. (Been suffering from depression most of my life - the meds don't work on me, or leave me nutzo, manic, or suicidal. OR they have a bad side effect on my other medical conditions (diabetes heart, AVM being the primaries.)
Oh if they could just come out with a medication that won't Kill you from the side effects.

Anyway you may want to look in to that possibility in his case.
Brianna
member, 2091 posts
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 18:28
  • msg #651

Just do it...

In reply to Isida KepTukari (msg # 649):

Perhaps your finances wont' allow this, but if they will, after you make your lists if nothing changes, tell him you're going to hire someone to help with the cleaning because you just can't continue to do it all.  ShadoPrism's take may be right, but besides the bachelor mind set thing, I wonder if his mother 'did it all'.  People who have never been responsible for doing the housework really have no idea how much work it is, after all, it just gets done, doesn't it?  Magically?  If someone grows up this way, it can be very difficult to retrain them as an adult.  Even if they begin to see logically what is true, every instinct says otherwise.  After all, who really wants to do all that stuff?  (OK a few people do, but he obviously isn't one of them.)
Isida KepTukari
member, 119 posts
Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Wed 21 Sep 2016
at 18:42
  • msg #652

Just do it...

In reply to Brianna (msg # 651):

Since he moved overseas to be with me, 8 years ago, I've considered depression.  I still may push him to look into that, no matter how much he neglects to see doctors of any sort.

But yeah, he lived with family until he came to live with me.  He's from England, and the cost of living being so high, it was immensely more economical to pay rent to live with his father, stepmother, and grandmother.  He only ever really had to bother with his room, but the rest of the flat was cleaned by his grandmother (she insisted).

As far as he's concerned, the cleaning does get done magically.  But then he scolds me for not getting enough sleep.  At some point here, we will be having a Conversation.  I'm hoping the addition of props and lists will make him realize I'm Extremely Serious, and if he can't get it through his head that I need help every day, as opposed to his self-imposed weekly chore of laundry, then we will be having additional Conversations in the presence of a counselor of some sort.
Isida KepTukari
member, 121 posts
Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Thu 22 Sep 2016
at 07:12
  • msg #653

Just do it...

To top off the day:

Me: "Let's go to the local art museum tomorrow, the one I've been trying to get us to for four months!"

Husband:  "Ok."

----

Later:

One of the previous owners of our new house apparently had a teenager/preteen living in what is now our guest bedroom.  I can tell from the 2 dozen repaired holes in the walls, discoloration from way too many pictures and posters, and the massive amount of sticker residue on the door.  My in-laws are arriving in a month.  As I had the supplies and a night off (I work nights, so I stay up the nights I do have off), I decided tonight was the night to paint the guest bedroom (mostly because I was feeling motivated, and sometimes you just have to strike while that iron's hot).  Masking, painting the edges and corners, using the roller, the whole nine yards, I was going to get. it. done.

2/3rds into the process, husband comes in bleary-eyed (he was sleeping in the next room).

Husband, announcing: "We're not going to the thing tomorrow.  All I can hear is that rumbling from that roller."

Me, thinking:  Well, golly gosh, I'm sorry the tedious labor I alone am undertaking on behalf of your parents and to improve the look of our new home is causing you to lose a little sleep.  We had workmen in the house during the day when I was supposed to be sleeping for several weeks during our more involved renovations, and I just turned on the white noise generator and tried to get my shut-eye regardless.  And since the last painting project I implored you to share with me you pooped out on 1/4th of the way through, I knew that you would never do this on your own, so I had to do it.  And my night off is now.  I am not going to stay awake all day as well as all night to do this.  You refuse to use earplugs or the white noise generator so... too bad.

Me, saying out loud, somewhat exasperated:  "Ok."

Because he was way too sleepy for me to talk to and get intelligent answers. If I'm going to talk to him, it's going to be when he can remember what I said.

I guess I'll be going to that museum on my own or with a friend.
pitademon
member, 816 posts
hi all
Thu 22 Sep 2016
at 08:45
  • msg #654

Just do it...

Isida... Take a friend but tell him you are going on a date.  lol.
Isida KepTukari
member, 122 posts
Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Thu 22 Sep 2016
at 10:47
  • msg #655

Just do it...

In reply to pitademon (msg # 654):

I may do that!  Or I may just get a massage this morning and then sleep in tonight, 'cause if he's not going to be appreciative, I'm going to appreciate myself!  Hah!
RedTeamPyro
member, 160 posts
Thu 22 Sep 2016
at 14:08
  • [deleted]
  • msg #656

Dealing with a DM so sour...

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was inflammatory, at 14:34, Thu 22 Sept 2016.
GammaBear
member, 686 posts
Thu 22 Sep 2016
at 14:22
  • [deleted]
  • msg #657

Dealing with a DM so sour...

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was inflammatory, at 14:34, Thu 22 Sept 2016.
Desanion
member, 13 posts
Thu 22 Sep 2016
at 14:25
  • [deleted]
  • msg #658

Dealing with a DM so sour...

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was inflammatory, at 14:35, Thu 22 Sept 2016.
Evil Empryss
member, 1505 posts
Try tasting your words
before spitting them out
Thu 22 Sep 2016
at 18:54
  • msg #659

Dealing with a DM so sour...

My cloud storage provider (PogoPlug, the rat tarts) informed me yesterday that they are getting out of the cloud storage business, effective immediately.  I have one week to try to download all 609 GB of files I have stored on their site before they irrevocably destroy them.

Did I mention that their site only allows 100 files or 100 MB to be downloaded at a time?  And that it's not exactly convenient to try to download while in auto shop classes?  I am stuck going thru the folders, downloading them piece-by-piece to stick on an external harddrive.

And they had the audacity to offer me free and/or discounted access to their other storage services.  Yeah, because I trust now that they won't shut those down on short notice, too!
Evil Empryss
member, 1506 posts
Try tasting your words
before spitting them out
Thu 22 Sep 2016
at 21:51
  • msg #660

Dealing with a DM so sour...

The spammers in my inbox are getting lazier.  The latest spam to show up was titled "Dear Greeting".
Merevel
member, 1134 posts
The Unlucky Gamer
Thu 22 Sep 2016
at 22:27
  • msg #661

Dealing with a DM so sour...

In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 660):

Bahahaha, reminds me of right after I got married. That was when I started getting spam email from dating sites.
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