In reply to pitademon (msg # 654):

I may do that!  Or I may just get a massage this morning and then sleep in tonight, 'cause if he's not going to be appreciative, I'm going to appreciate myself!  Hah!

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was inflammatory, at 14:34, Thu 22 Sept 2016.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was inflammatory, at 14:34, Thu 22 Sept 2016.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was inflammatory, at 14:35, Thu 22 Sept 2016.

My cloud storage provider (PogoPlug, the rat tarts) informed me yesterday that they are getting out of the cloud storage business, effective immediately.  I have one week to try to download all 609 GB of files I have stored on their site before they irrevocably destroy them.

Did I mention that their site only allows 100 files or 100 MB to be downloaded at a time?  And that it's not exactly convenient to try to download while in auto shop classes?  I am stuck going thru the folders, downloading them piece-by-piece to stick on an external harddrive.

And they had the audacity to offer me free and/or discounted access to their other storage services.  Yeah, because I trust now that they won't shut those down on short notice, too!

The spammers in my inbox are getting lazier.  The latest spam to show up was titled "Dear Greeting".

In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 660):

Bahahaha, reminds me of right after I got married. That was when I started getting spam email from dating sites.

In reply to Merevel (msg # 661):

Ashley Madison, perhaps?  ;-)

Lol nope, more like eharmony and other traditional ones.

In reply to Merevel (msg # 663):

of course. They noted a change in your Relationship Status, so they just think you need to start dating again.

Accidentally posted this in the other vent thread.

My husband is getting fat. I find it gross. He says that he doesn't feel any bigger, but refuses to weigh himself, measure himself or look at old photos. He won't buy larger sized clothing. He's nearly bursting from his clothes. Almost everyone in our game group and circle of friends is heavily obese. I feel alone in my complaint because I think they'll just say I'm being mean or shallow. He's starting a new job search soon and he's outgrown all of his suits. I want him to look nice at his interviews. Any suggestions on how to bring up clothes shopping without sounding like a jerk?
This message was last updated by the user at 09:59, Thu 29 Sept 2016.

Edit: so I misread, please disregard my first post. Now, he's going on job hunt, perhaps you should have him get into one of his old suits, have him look in the mirror and say... "Now, if you were a company and someone came into your office looking like this asking for a job, would you hire them? First impression is everything and you should have the suits to go with the impression you want to make. So how about we go out and get you those suits that will make a great impression rather than an okay impression."
This message was last edited by the user at 22:26, Tue 27 Sept 2016.

In reply to Eggy (msg # 665):

Take him for a fitting I recon? There is no way he could argue how a new suit would fit versus an old one right?

Eggy:
yeah, clothes are kind of a touchy subject.  Especially in the plus sizes.  One trick I have used is that the clothes themselves are getting worn and just don't look 'fresh' anymore.  Things like the neck has been stretched out, little edges frayed at the hem and sleeves, or ruined by getting stuck and twisted in the dryer.  Not focusing the problem on his size, but that it is his clothes.  A bit of a play on ego, you just want a few things to freshen and update his wardrobe.  Like getting him new jeans that are not stretched out.  When he puts his same size on he'll find they don't fit and get a pair that will fit.
This might put it into his own mind that he might be getting bigger.  And you don't get the evil eye for speaking about his size just that his clothes were getting stale.

This message was deleted by the user at 06:27, Wed 28 Sept 2016.

In reply to Eggy (msg # 665):

Do you own a full length mirror?  IMO every household should have one (not that I'd want to look in mine, if the kids ever get it up) but I see a lot of celebs and people who have probably spent more than my annual income on their outfit who don't seem to have one.  With or without one, others have made some good suggestions on the clothing issue.

Besides the immediate clothes issue, why is he gaining weight?  I'm assuming you take care of yourself, maybe you're even one of the lucky people who just don't seem to gain, but if appropriate, and possible, promote healthier eating for both of you?  No mention of calories, just feeling better.  Of course that doesn't stop him for filling up on fast food or whatever when he's out, but if you can enforce healthy for enough meals he may find he is losing (oh hush)... he is feeling better.  Also a good balanced diet might make him lose some of his taste for the 'bad stuff'.  More exercise (not called that, of course)?  Get him a dog that needs walking?  ;-)

Thanks for the replies. I think I'll talk to him about the clothes on a weekend and then back off until he's comfortably in a new job. Focusing on Brianna's reply because it struck me the most.


Many. Everywhere. For instance, in our bedroom, we have separate closets with sliding, mirrored doors. With the angle between the closets, the bathroom mirrors and the mirror over the bureau (which can tilt), he can have a 360 view of himself from the second he opens his eyes. I go on a lot of business trips. I've noticed that when I'm away, he keeps the upstairs dark.


He eats too much. And he doesn't work out anymore at all. We used to. Now it's just me. He says that he hardly eats anything. But really, he just doesn't pay attention to what he eats. He'll get fast food when he's out, eat it while he's driving and then have a snack when he gets in the house. He does cook and very well, but sometimes he eats like he's packing a grocery sack. He eats so fast, I wonder if he even tastes it.


I'm not his mother. And I don't want to chase after him with veg or count how many soda bottles are in the bin at night.

He enjoys my physique. We used to have this in common. We used to go running and race each other. Now he gets winded walking with Pokemon Go. He works up a sweat picking up fallen dice. He's only 33.

He's healed up well and his doctors have given him the thumbs up to get back in shape. They encourage it to strengthen his back. But now he's content to just watch me work out while he sits on the couch eating. I just feel so frustrated.

He's eating a bouquet of corndogs right now. He's got five of them in one hand. I'm so angry!
This message was last edited by the user at 09:59, Thu 29 Sept 2016.

Could he possibly be depressed from being down for so long that he feels like it doesn't matter? I mean, I get depressed and people don't see it because I hide it well, but it can cause me to do things that normally I wouldn't. Perhaps talk to him and ask him how he's truly feeling inside, don't pressure, just ask. If he admits this, perhaps he should look into getting into therapy because that might help his mentality get back to where it needs to be? Just a suggestion.

He was very depressed before he had the back surgery. I'd say about four years ago. Mostly, it was the back pain and the job he hated. He told me that he felt so limited. We started counseling. He started a new job that he loved. He made friends without me and got back into his hobby of repairing old model trains. I really thought things were going well. He had gotten a little pudgy during that time, but I didn't think anything of it. He was so excited after the surgery. I had to keep telling him to slow down and take it easy. He tried to just jump back into his old fitness habits. I was afraid he'd hurt himself. Other than that, it was like his old, bubbly can-do personality came back.

Then last Christmas, it was like I was seeing him with new eyes. The way he stuffs himself. I can actually see him fill up with food until his stomach gets tight and he can't sleep. Then he'll play video games and munch on sweets until he's tired enough to sleep. Then I can't sleep. He makes the bed all sweaty and hot. His stomach gurgles all night. He's constantly getting out of bed for the toilet.

He says that he's fine. Our counselor says he's fine and that it's normal for people to put on a few after marriage. I don't think this is normal at all. I think he might be a binge eater now. I don't know what to do.
This message was last updated by the user at 09:58, Thu 29 Sept 2016.

One thing that helped our family's soda/pop consumption was to purchase a sodamaker. Yeah sounds odd I know but we have cut our soda/pop consumption to nearly a tenth of what we used to drink. I was never the drinker and it became to much a hassle to make some for everyone else when you factor in needing to clean the bottles. Now most everyone in the house drink regular old water thanks to the new filter I put in.

I know this goes without saying but as a former large man myself if the junkfood was not around I did not eat it. I changed my chips into apples for the crunch. After a while the eating habits just simply readjust.

In reply to Eggy (msg # 671):

I'm not good with people, despite how I think I try, so yeah, go with someone else's first.

One person even said I use people like tools the other day. ;-;

In reply to Merevel (msg # 675):

No, I like your idea very much. He has a prospective job lined up, or at least he thinks so. A friend of his "put in a good word for him." Knowing my husband, this means he'll just bum around at home waiting for his friend to say, "Show up 9am Monday morning." When that doesn't happen (it would be great, but I'm being realistic), he'll act surprised that he has to spruce up his resume and get out there like everyone else. Like his initiative draining away.

I'm a bit annoyed because my best friend is already saying things like, "He doesn't look fat to me" and "He's not as fat as he could be".  But she didn't know him before and she's a lady of size.

I'm away from home right now. I think it will be easier to help him when I return. Just one step at a time: first, the suit; then the interviews.  Then everything else.



I appreciate this, but we don't drink soda. All the soda and junk in the house he buys for himself and he eats it himself, mostly. Whenever I do have some junk food or something sweet in the house, it's like I have to beat him to it. More than once I've put a treat for myself in a plastic in the fridge and he's told me that I just left it sitting out there and he had to eat it before it went bad.j

For instance, there's a nice German bakery in town. We used to go out on a jog, stop there on the way back and pick up some pastries. Now he'll buy a box of six, eat five and a half of them in two days. The half is for me because I like to cut mine in half. They're big pastries. If I haven't eaten my half of pastry by the third day, he'll eat it because he'll say I'm wasting it.

The problem isn't the junk food, but that he simply eats far too much. He eats healthy dinners and breakfasts, but in ridiculous portions. If he wants bacon, he'll fry up two or three slices. Then because he feels good about watching his sodium or fat, he'll eat three bowls of breakfast cereal. If he gets out for a walk, he'll pile on the desserts after dinner. He rewards himself with food. He'll say things like, "This pizza is gluten free" or "This soda is made with real sugar" and that registers as better, so he takes in more of it.
This message was last edited by the user at 10:23, Thu 29 Sept 2016.

In reply to Eggy (msg # 676):

Oh no. This sounds more and more like an Eating disorder crossed with depression.
The media goes on about the disorders that leave people dangerously thin but you almost never hear about the ones that leave the person obese.
Seek medical and psychiatric help SOON. This is no joke and could be life threatening if not treated (think heart conditions, diabetes etc.) The craving for sweets is also a strong indicator of developing diabetes. (Being Diabetic myself I am very aware of the warning signs - well that and I research stuff allot.)

In reply to Eggy (msg # 676):

Oh I feel for you on the treats you have to eat before he gets to them.  My husband likes to gobble his share of treats, I prefer to savour mine.  So I find myself eating more and faster than I should, and would prefer, because otherwise I hardly get any.

In reply to Brianna (msg # 678):

Exactly! I don't want to race for food. And I don't want to hide pockets of food in the house. That will just get crazy. I'm going to see him in a few weeks and ask if he'd be willing to talk to our counselor about eating disorder. I think it will go better face to face than on skype.

Thanks again, everyone.