member, 221 posts
Sun 24 Dec 2017
at 16:46
Re: That Feeling
In the words of Maurice Minnifield:

"You know that's the nature of a family holiday, to make a single man feel disenfranchised. You're made to feel like a hungry vagrant with your nose pressed up against a window staring at somebody else's dinner."

Every. Damn. Year.

(And yes, I've attempted to make friends, and to make plans. Successful on the first front, but family and traditions always take priority at this time of year, so the second part is me being alone for 48 hours when everyone else posts and talks about how wonderful a time they're having.)
 member, 659 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Sun 24 Dec 2017
at 17:43
Re: That Feeling
In reply to CrazyIvan777 (msg # 1073):

This is my first CrazyIvan7's. I'm not exactly there, but yeah, I don't have the friends currently, but I'm also not feeling quite like I'm desperate to belong. I'm just bored, and slightly just lonely.

If you and I shared game interests I'd run a quick an dirty game for you. Like a one scene game, where you have an encounter, tailored to your character, and just pretend we're them, and not us. I could use a friend. I'm nowhere near too many. ;)

I play heavily crunch systems. That take at least an hour to make the sheet for, bare minimum. Except for dX, but if you don't know the system, it'll take much longer. Exalted and D&D 3 to 5e take me longer than an hour, except at first level. Those are, sadly, the only systems my F2F group plays (except for 1) and so I just don't know other systems (Yet).

I'm here though. Even if just to provide another warm body to occasionally nod off into the rare post, and then rouse to chat. *shrug and smirk*

This message was last edited by the user at 17:43, Sun 24 Dec 2017.

 member, 1160 posts
Mon 25 Dec 2017
at 00:59
Re: That Feeling
In reply to V_V (msg # 1074):

This year, for the first time in a long time, I got friends who are in the same boat as you and CrazyIvan, so we are getting together tomarrow night. I made up some baked chicken and the rest is store bought sides and we are going to have dinner together. Nothing fancy.
The game though, that's a good idea. Even if it's just everyone online for the day / night, it helps get you through the holy-days.
Used to do something like that using Yahoo chat, back when they still had private rooms. It was fun.
 member, 283 posts
 Amoral Paladin
Mon 25 Dec 2017
at 02:25
Re: That Feeling
Dealing (and treating, so there is that at least) with depression for all these years, the holidays have always been a difficult time for me.  Tomorrow I've got to deal with my husband's extended family, so that's going to be troubling.

I love his parents (and vice-versa), but it's going to be a very crowded house with no escape routes (and an ice-cold outside) if I get overwhelmed. :-/
 member, 86 posts
Mon 25 Dec 2017
at 04:23
Re: That Feeling
In reply to Cygnia (msg # 1076):

Retreat to a bedroom, even if it's just the room all the coats get dumped in, and sit alone in there for a while. If anyone questions it, since it seems they're unaware of your need for some occasional isolation, just tell them you've got a bit of a headache and are hoping some quiet can help you keep it from worsening.

I'm not good with long hours in a lot of company, it just drains me, so from time to time I'll just retreat for an hour to regain my balance. At my age, my friends & family all know I'm an introvert and I'm not trying to be antisocial. I just need some time to rebalance myself now and then, if there's too much going on, or going on for too long. (Three-plus hours yesterday at a family thing was a bit long for me to do straight; I was so ready for a break by then! Thankfully, a few other people were leaving early, and I made it my own exodus, too.)
 member, 676 posts
 Creator of HeroForge
Mon 25 Dec 2017
at 08:19
Christmas Presents
This is the last time I try to handle all the Christmas wrapping at one time on Christmas Eve.

For one, it took me damn near three hours to get the little one to lie down and sleep. That put me at about 11:00 just to get started. Had to retrieve all the presents from their hidey-holes, plus bags, wrapping paper, tape, labels, all that. While keeping an ear cocked toward the kids' door.

Cue another two-plus hours sorting boxes, wrapping things, labeling. Staging the obligatory scraps of cookie and half-drunk cup of milk, with a letter from Santa.

It's now 2 AM. I'm done with all the presents, though the wrapping got a little sloppy on a few. But this is the last time I do it this way. I'm tired, and stressed out from spending way too much on short notice.

So I'm changing things. New Christmas tradition.

From now on, I'm setting aside containers for everyone. They can put gifts in them whenever they want, any time of year. No one is allowed to peek in others' containers, and if someone wants to take a few minutes to wrap something early, they can demand that everyone else stay away. The containers will be clearly labeled, and anyone caught peeking has to take a gift from their container and hand it over early.

I'm not going to let anyone worry about who spends how much, or who gets how many gifts. Any time someone sees something they think someone else would like, and we have the money for it, they can buy it. Secrecy won't be an issue at the time -- other than what the item is. "Mom, I'm getting a Christmas present for you. Don't peek."

Let things accumulate over the year, rather than try to get it all in a three-week period. And have 90% of the wrapping done whenever, instead of cramming it all into one night.

This message was last updated by the user at 08:19, Mon 25 Dec 2017.

 member, 1161 posts
Mon 25 Dec 2017
at 15:47
Christmas Presents
My answer this year to Xmas gifts was to take my friends shopping. They got to pick out what they wanted and I bought it for them (well other than a couple items I knew they needed, those I got and gave to them early but with the knowledge they were seasonal gifts.)
Me I am not christian, I like the holy-day for it's meaning (peace and kindness to your fellows) and love the gifts part, but not really in to the 'birth of christ' part.
For the actual day, we are getting together this evening and I made up a batch of my baked chicken, someone else is bringing a side and the host has another side item, and we will share this meal that we all contributed to. That's it.
(We are all older people whose parents are gone and families are a long way off.)

Your idea is ok Paladin, but I don't see it working out over the next year, given human nature (and kids natures, respectively).
 member, 87 posts
Mon 25 Dec 2017
at 23:52
Christmas Presents
In reply to LonePaladin (msg # 1078):

I like the idea. Personally, I buy my gifts over the course of the year, to spread out the expense. Plus, since most of it comes from thrift stores, you've gotta buy it when you find it anyway! I keep a box to put all the gifts in, then in December, get out the box. Seldom have to do last-minute shopping that way.

I need to work on that wrapping in advance, too, though!
 member, 773 posts
Tue 26 Dec 2017
at 02:25
Christmas Presents
What if you wrapped the gifts shortly after you buy them, instead of saving it for one huge event?
Mad Mick
 member, 925 posts
 GURPS beyond measure,
Tue 26 Dec 2017
at 03:48
Christmas Presents
We had a very low-key Christmas this year.  We had just gotten back from a vacation, so our gifts for our kids were mostly some books (and Heroclix and Pokémon cards).  Still, my wife and I were up until about 3 am wrapping presents, and the night was exhausting.  Doing most of the work beforehand seems a lot smarter.
 member, 1021 posts
Tue 26 Dec 2017
at 21:57
Christmas Presents
Some good ideas. Just figured out that one advantage of opening presents Christmas eve is that the children are less apt to get up early.
 moderator, 15484 posts
 He's big, he's bad,
 but mostly he's Ron.
Tue 26 Dec 2017
at 22:11
Christmas Presents
In reply to OceanLake (msg # 1083):

Over here, opening the presents on Christmas Eve is the norm.
 member, 63 posts
Thu 28 Dec 2017
at 15:45
Christmas Presents
I wish I could let the kids open gifts on Christmas Eve, but then I'd just start being bombarded with what they want for -next- Christmas on Christmas Day. Which is more greed than I can handle, really.

A few years back, I instituted a 2-gift maximum from any one source to try to nip pre-teen greed in the bud (prompted by my at the time 12 year-old saying, most embarrassingly, 'is that all?' after opening gifts at a grandparents' house). It's helped them stop expecting a kazillion things (although the grandparents still cheat and try to cram multiple gifts in one box) all at once, but sadly, it hasn't helped the youngest from constantly wanting more.

Just 24 hours of appreciating what they've been given, without starting in on what else they want for the next gift-giving holiday. That's all I ask.
 member, 364 posts
 As irrational
 as pi.
Thu 28 Dec 2017
at 16:02
Christmas Presents
In reply to SunRuanEr (msg # 1085):

A few years ago, my instituted the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" policy for Christmas. So within the family, only four major gifts each. You can still get some other smaller peripheral gifts and other family members are welcome to get whatever they want, but those four categories keep the presents focused on quality and thoughtfulness and keep the kids' expectations under control as far as amount.

As a result, we just had our second Christmas for which we did not have to purchase a single battery.
 member, 954 posts
Thu 28 Dec 2017
at 16:54
Christmas Presents
My wife decided we were going to Florida to visit relatives the first week of winter break, leaving right after picking up the kids from school on Friday, then leaving to come back the day before Christmas Eve.  I had some pressing matters to take care of the next Monday and Tuesday, so I flew down Wednesday.  So, before I left out, I took a couple of nights to wrap yhe gifts while consulting with my wife over the phone as to which went to whom.  It was much less stressful.  Plus, I got to prepare or cat for a few days without human companionship.
On another note, went to the Museum of Fine Arts St Petersburg to see the exhibition Star Wars and the Power of Costume.  It was a display of most of the costumes from the original trilogy, the prequels, and TFA.  Really cool.  I had no idea that Carrie Fisher was so short.
 member, 774 posts
Thu 28 Dec 2017
at 17:19
Christmas Presents
In reply to SunRuanEr (msg # 1085):

When I was a kid, my cousins (about 8 of us all together) and I would get a pile of presents on Christmas Day. I remember being 13 and receiving 39 boxes. My family curbed our gimmies by making receiving a gift almost like a ritual. Lots of rules.

If the present came with a card, it had to be held up and read aloud before opening the present. If there was no card, I'd have to read the to/from tag. After thanking the sender, I would write down their name and gift as a list. After everything was open and separated (cash, checks, gift cards, toys and clothes), then I'd have to model all the clothes excluding underwear and socks. Parents and grandparents would check fit and take pictures. Then we'd go to my grandmother and ask for the proper amount of thank you cards. She would always come with a basketload of them. We opened presents youngest to oldest. No kid could open a present at the same time as any other kid unless the gifts all came from the same relative and that person gave the OK. Sounds hectic with 8 kids, but my family was pretty harsh. Anyone jumping queue got a slap and was sent upstairs away from the party. They could finish opening gifts the next day. After all this (and kitchen cleanup) we could play with new toys.

Nowadays, I only have to wrangle about 6 kids at once at holidays. I have them open gifts one at a time, youngest to oldest and it goes pretty smoothly. No slapping. The kids especially like handing out the presents.
 member, 663 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Fri 29 Dec 2017
at 21:07
Christmas Presents
Had a really bad experience with a game I'm in, my mother, my only connection to my birth family is apparently back in the cult as deep as ever. A friend I had fell out of good graces with over a horrible PTSD episode to do with my family, I had invested great effort into "mending the fence" when I haven't done anything wrong, and he's all but ignored me since I went out of my way to help him.

I started to decline like a falling pebble into an avalanche.

My roommate is at work, so I called the suicide hotline to get support and they told me to call a warm line. I called my doctor and for the past 50 minutes have no reply. My only two options are calling 911 or getting through with it.

I feel bad enough I get sick when I try to drink. Every minute is painful, but all I have to do is just wait it out, that's the only thing I can do. Logically I know that, but I feel my OCD and Tourettes starting to become violent (very much not intentionally). And I don't know if I have choice but to fall again, harder than last time.

If it gets bad enough, I'll have to call 911, and I know they'll put me in the hospital for days, which I really hate. For years I fought to have a home, to not be in the same situation I was when I was young, no choice, or compulsory service.

MY last concern should be RPoL, but it slightly dulls the waiting. Maybe my doctor will call. I would much rather that than call 911. If I could take more medicine I would, but I have no idea how that would affect me.

I really feel...just like all this progress is undone. Like no matter how I try to exercise better habits it doesn't matter. The tics, and the compulsions, they just come when I get overly stressed, and I have no other outlet.

I can't type

Edit: Finally I'm doing better. That was the worst tic fit I've had in my life. My knuckles, forehead, neck and throat burn.

This message was last edited by the user at 00:11, Sat 30 Dec 2017.

 member, 6 posts
Wed 3 Jan 2018
at 14:22
Christmas Presents
Hello, little late, the wrapping thing is certainly a pain in the butt and can be totally avoided altogether, my lover has a lot of family, she has to buy something for everyone cos they all buy something for she and I, it's nice, and little overwhelming. We used to spend hours wrapping things the week leading up to Christmas up until 2015, when, in a panicked pinch we shot everything into Christmas gift bags of varying sizes from the Dollarstore with different colored tissue paper on top, the few things we wanted to wrap we still did, and that ended last year. The Dollarstore has lovely colorful Christmas boxes, again in varying sizes, that even come with labels already printed or glued on, put the gift inside with some colored tissue, label it, tape it closed, fire it into so-and-so's Christmas bag and that's that, no wrapping paper required at all.

If there isn't a Dollarstore or equivalent you can dash into Wal-Mart or it's equivalent, they certainly have holiday bags, so do some grocery stores, drug stores and Halmark stores, never spend more then two or three dollars on a bag though and, during the festivities, do your best to discreetly save the bags you can, reuse and recycle. This also obviously works for every other time you need to give someone a gift, the colorful Christmas boxes may be out but there are plain ones that do the same trick, never have to wrap anything ever again.
 member, 838 posts
Sat 3 Feb 2018
at 04:53
Internet 'security'
I am absolutely fruiting sick of so-called 'security features' on the Internet. 99 times out of a hundred, the only person who is denied access to the facilities is the fruiting user. They're just ransomware to extract personal data!!!

(Gmail has locked me out of my account yet again, and this time it looks like it's permanent.)
 member, 387 posts
Fri 9 Mar 2018
at 02:58
Internet 'security'
Frustrating how a falling out in a game's OOC can lead to what was otherwise just fine ending up collapsing.

Also really annoying how obscure game systems with house rules end up creating  difficult to translate characters so that it's almsot impossible to find new homes for them. :/
 member, 402 posts
 In omnia Paratus
 Momento Mori
Fri 9 Mar 2018
at 03:22
Internet 'security'
In reply to Flarelord (msg # 1092):

I had a couple of those when I first joined on the site. It was frustrating. I was a small disagreement and the woman who ran the game also had her boyfriend at the time marked as Co-GM and he took matters to his own hands and literally removed me and banned me because he believed i would harass her further. I wasn’t harassing though. I just didn’t agree with a certain decision and I was actually kind enough to take it to PMs as oppose to blasting it on the OOC thread and poof! There I went.
 member, 1234 posts
 "Hugs for the Hugs God!"
 - Warhammer Fluffy-K
Fri 9 Mar 2018
at 23:33
Internet 'security'
In reply to WhiteComic (msg # 1093):

I've been on all sides of that. I was in a game where the GM was doing strange things with the rules and I kept asking questions for clarification and they got super upset with me and kicked me out of the game for questioning them. I was just trying to figure out what the fruit was going on! When you're running a tactical combat RPG but play very fast and lose with the rules, expect tactical players to keep stopping and saying "wait what?"

I've also been running a game where a player decided that everyone else sucked and would constantly drop comments in the OOC saying "you suck" and "you're doing it wrong". I locked it down and eventually booted him but the damage was done...
 member, 388 posts
Sat 10 Mar 2018
at 00:00
Internet 'security'
Oh, hey, Prague ^^; Been a while :)
 member, 781 posts
Fri 16 Mar 2018
at 15:59
Internet 'security'
Someone in my office has ringworm. He is walking around, scratching and touching everything. I've confronted him and his supervisor. It's been 2 hours. He won't leave.

Right now, he's searching for his lost keys.

Now something is wrong with my computer, but it's the IT Help guy with the ringworm. So angry.

This message was last edited by the user at 16:52, Yesterday.

 member, 1170 posts
Sat 17 Mar 2018
at 00:38
Person walking around with a Highly Contagious condition, call CDC or Police about it. Them being in a public place with such a condition is a major health violation and they can be arrested for doing that.
 See Public Health Code Violations for more information.