SunRuanEr
 member, 77 posts
Tue 16 Apr 2019
at 18:43
I don't get people anymore.
In the defense of that GM, they may have been burned in the past by having someone who said they were leaving their game cause problems when allowed continued access to said game. Sometimes, the safest way to guarantee there will be no Departing Player Drama is to prevent the departing player from interacting with the rest of the cast.
Starchaser
 member, 597 posts
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Tue 16 Apr 2019
at 19:46
I don't get people anymore.
Yeah. Maybe they had their reasons.

TBH this has been the tip of a very large iceberg.

Lots of little things today have been chipping away at my self esteem.

I'll get over it.
icosahedron152
 member, 948 posts
Wed 17 Apr 2019
at 03:03
I don't get people anymore.
Some people are just weird, and simple manners have been on the decline for decades.

If I want to leave a game, I'll say so. If someone wants to leave my game, I'll thank them for their contribution and give them a week to copy (not remove, thank you - I have game-continuity to maintain) any of their material, in case they want to use their character elsewhere. Even if they've argued with me. They're entitled to their opinion, even if it's wrong! ;)

What annoys me is when players (or GMs) just vanish.

I see a PbP game exactly the same as a FtF game.

If you go to someone's house and game with them, you don't sneak out the door when they're not looking, you thank them for their hospitality, shake hands around the group, and leave with your head high and your manners intact.

And if you're a GM moving to a new town, getting a new job, etc, you don't just stick a For Sale notice on your house for your gaming buddies to find next time they bring their kit round. You call them, thank them for the good times you've shared, and tell them why and when you're leaving.

Why do people become psychopathic morons online? What do a few pleasantries cost, really?
Starchaser
 member, 599 posts
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Wed 17 Apr 2019
at 06:05
I don't get people anymore.
Ive been discussing this issue with a friend. I think as a society we may have all become so connected to the online world that we are basically disconnected from each other. Humanity seems to be loosing its ability to relate or empathise and civility has declined.

That's not the case for everyone, though. Some people are still courteous and understanding.
acera
 member, 152 posts
Wed 17 Apr 2019
at 09:34
I don't get people anymore.
Part of the issue may be that on the internet, no one can see you. Repercussions are limited. If youíre a jerk in real life, no one will want to be around you. If youíre a jerk on the internet, you can just find another spot to hang out in.

Some of it could be anxiety as well; I have generalized anxiety disorder and sometimes sending and receiving messages is overwhelming because I donít know what the message says and Iím not sure if I want to know. Iíve ghosted out a couple times (although not after being in the game already, just after expressing interest).

This message was last edited by the user at 09:34, Wed 17 Apr.

NowhereMan
 member, 309 posts
Sun 28 Apr 2019
at 12:29
I don't get people anymore.
I had to drop out of a game a couple days ago because my enthusiasm for it just fell through the floor, for no apparent reason. The group seemed fun, and everyone was helping everyone else with character creation, and the OOC discussion was at a couple hundred posts before the game even started.

I hated having to leave a game with that kind of promise, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to add anything worthwhile to the dynamic/story/what-have-you with where my interest level was. Very frustrating.

To the crew of the Rotten Raven, the very best of luck.
horus
 member, 709 posts
 Wayfarer of the
 Western Wastes
Mon 29 Apr 2019
at 01:54
Re: I don't get people anymore.
NowhereMan:
To the crew of the Rotten Raven, the very best of luck.


It's hard to admit to yourself that you are not a good fit for a game anymore, but it's for the best.  Don't beat yourself up about it, man.  You did right by the GM and the other players by withdrawing when you realized what was going on with you.
icosahedron152
 member, 950 posts
Mon 29 Apr 2019
at 03:32
Re: I don't get people anymore.
horus:
You did right by the GM and the other players by withdrawing when you realized what was going on with you.

...Assuming you told them you were leaving, of course.

GMs are used to drop outs at the start of a game, it's probably no biggie.

The problem for GMs is not knowing whether a player has left or not - that just wastes their time and everyone else's, while they send out PMs and wait for a response, and hold your place open in case you've had family/work/internet issues.

Those delays and uncertainties spoil the game for everyone.

If anyone is leaving a game, all they need to do is post something like Nowhere Man posted here - it explains their situation, wishes the GM and players well, and makes a clean break that allows the game to continue smoothly without them.

If the GM becomes a jerk over it - well, you've already left the game, what're they gonna do? But by leaving a polite goodbye, you find out whether that GM is a jerk, instead of leaving them with the impression that you are.
donsr
 member, 1578 posts
Mon 29 Apr 2019
at 03:44
Re: I don't get people anymore.
I always  ask folks  to let me know when they are going to bail. My games  aren't forever one, they aren't meant to be.

 self respecting gamers should  have the manners  enough to say,"..sorry..not what I thought".. and  then go, so the GM can let the rest of the game know they are gone, and no one's waiting.

 Rookies in my game  have a short leash for  ghosting... my vets  get a lot more  leeway, ebcause they tend to  let us know when RL takes them away.

 No one is getting paid  to play here..or  run a game, for that matter. Simple manners, is  not a bad thing  to ask for.
Isida KepTukari
 member, 269 posts
 Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Fri 3 May 2019
at 16:43
Le sigh
The situation with Hubby and the two co-workers he's teaching to game (with me as the DM) is more or less at a total standstill.  "Jane" is getting help for her many issues which precludes gaming, and the other co-worker "John" doesn't want to game if she's not there.  We did a board game night one evening, and he canceled the other due to prior commitments.  We haven't actually gamed since... at least January if not December.  I am hopefully going to reconnect with some old friends at a neighborhood party we're hosting next week, and then we're going to see if we can't actually get a game going.

Beyond the erratic scheduling and quiet stubborn refusal to let others into the game, I have difficulty getting anyone to really roleplay at the table.  Hubby is in love with the  mechanics, and while he's not totally indifferent to backstory, he's choosing to run two characters to round out the party, and so can't concentrate on much but the mechanics.  John does try and occasionally succeeds, but when I can get Jane to talk it's mostly about mechanics as well.  I get a teeny bit of roleplay out of her every once in a blue moon, but considering how little we're playing, it's about two times a year I see anything like that from her.

In other news, our sump pump isn't working so our formerly bone-dry basement is a sopping mess due to the excessive rainfall around here and the plumber can't get out here until Monday (it's Friday).  Boo!
Starchaser
 member, 621 posts
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Fri 3 May 2019
at 16:51
Le sigh
In reply to Isida KepTukari (msg # 1379):

Look at it this way. This blip could be the opportunity you need to rekindle those old friendships and let them blossom again.

I don't have that problem. No one I know offline is into roleplaying and think those that are are crazy. Probably because they've met me :/
NowhereMan
 member, 312 posts
Mon 6 May 2019
at 02:27
Re: I don't get people anymore.
In reply to icosahedron152 (msg # 1377):

quote:
...Assuming you told them you were leaving, of course.


What? A vague message in a Vents thread isn't enough for you? People and their entitled attitudes these days...

Yeah, I always let a GM know if I can't stick around for one reason or another. I usually try to let them know the why as well, if applicable.
icosahedron152
 member, 952 posts
Mon 6 May 2019
at 04:30
Re: I don't get people anymore.
NowhereMan:
What? A vague message in a Vents thread isn't enough for you? People and their entitled attitudes these days...

<Grin> Just checking.
Starchaser
 member, 626 posts
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Thu 9 May 2019
at 08:16
I'm in a weird mood today.
Its probably lack of sleep (rough night last night - long story) but this morning I've woken up in a weirdly empty and reflective mood. By all intents and purposes I should be pretty content. Things are slowly improving for me in my offline life (especially career wise) and as far as roleplaying is concerned I'm actually really busy in some great games with some great writing partners. But I actually feel pretty empty and unsatisfied.

I don't have that many face to face friends. This is partly due to be just being stupidly busy and partly due to the fact I don't live in the friendliest city in the world. So I tend to value the people I meet online perhaps more than most. And again, things are great in that regard. I have a few online friends. I am starting to make a few more. I have begun to reconnect with two people from my past (I actually tried to reconnect with more but I think quite a few people I used to know have left rpol) and one friend in particular that I've known for a few years now I value quite highly. They  are cool, funny, highly intelligent. Like a walking encyclopedia of knowledge and only one hour difference from me in time zone. So again I have no reason to feel unfulfilled.

One of my biggest regrets I think is that I burned my bridges with another close online friend who I also knew for years. I left rpol a few years ago and before I did it almost felt like we were the Bonnie and Clyde of roleplaying. We bounced off each other so well. Ran games together, played alongside each other all the time. When I returned things were different and instead of accepting that and just allowing things to be the way they were I reacted wrongly to it. It was exacerbated further by me arguing with them over game ownership (I had been gone a long time and two of my best games got transferred to them). I should have let it go but I didn't and it cost me my friendship.

A word to the wise: pick your battles carefully and make sure that what you stand for is worth what you could lose as a result.

And I did it again yesterday. Somebody replied to a (quite old actually) gpia thread (which I've now bumped) and their reply, although just a query got taken the wrong way by me. Luckily that got sorted quite quickly once I realised how much of a jerk I'd been but it highlights the fact that even when I have a chance to just think before I write anything I can still let my own insecurities screw myself over.

Another word to the wise: Think, think and think again before using your emotions to dictate your responses.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow, maybe not. But one thing I know is this unsatisfied feeling I've had has been with me for a long time now and never seems to go away.
horus
 member, 723 posts
 Wayfarer of the
 Western Wastes
Thu 9 May 2019
at 15:38
I'm in a weird mood today.
In reply to Starchaser (msg # 1383):

Chase your dissatisfaction down and conjure with it, man.  You are trying to tell yourself something important.  Look at this as a rare opportunity.  Don't really go at it trying to "fix" you -- just try to understand what is making you feel that way and the rest will likely come naturally.

I've been there (dissatisfied with my life) lately my-*durian*-self, so I get it to some extent.  So much to do already, and so little time (and everybody seems to want something I don't have time for lately).
DarkLightHitomi
 member, 1556 posts
Thu 9 May 2019
at 21:42
I'm in a weird mood today.
AGAIN!

Some guy hit me with a car a while back, not even 2 months ago.

My car is getting fixed and so I'm driving a rental.

Naturally, some guy hit me again. Rear-ended me on the highway, probably totalling the rental car.
Starchaser
 member, 627 posts
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Fri 10 May 2019
at 05:41
I'm in a weird mood today.
In reply to DarkLightHitomi (msg # 1385):

Well since it's the other car's fault hopefully their insurance should pay the rental company for any damages. I hope you weren't hurt?

In reply to Horus (msg # 1384):

Thanks, mate!
horus
 member, 724 posts
 Wayfarer of the
 Western Wastes
Fri 10 May 2019
at 06:08
I'm in a weird mood today.
In reply to Starchaser (msg # 1386):

Hey, what are friends for?
DarkLightHitomi
 member, 1557 posts
Fri 10 May 2019
at 09:17
I'm in a weird mood today.
In reply to Starchaser (msg # 1386):

I'm not hurt, but insurance usually only pays current value, while rentals usually charge replacement cost, leaving a major gap.
horus
 member, 725 posts
 Wayfarer of the
 Western Wastes
Fri 10 May 2019
at 17:46
I'm in a weird mood today.
In reply to DarkLightHitomi (msg # 1388):

Sad story.  Several years ago, my wife rented a car while I was offshore working, and neglected to get rental insurance.  She subsequently loaned this car to her sister, who promptly hit a deer with it, totaling the vehicle.

I paid for that vehicle.  Moral?  Always get rental insurance - it's cheap, and it covers you for unforeseen accidents like this.

Unless you specifically declined it, it should be part of your standard rental contract.  Check your paperwork:  you may be covered.
Eur512
 member, 796 posts
Sat 11 May 2019
at 00:18
I'm in a weird mood today.
In reply to DarkLightHitomi (msg # 1388):

Assuming you're American...

If you are insured, and the other driver was insured, and it is the fault of the other driver - most insurance companies will consider this proven if there was a ticket issued to the other driver, but try nevertheless, nothing to lose-

Ask your insurance company to subrogate all damages to the other company, tell them you want the other company to pay for all the damages from the rental company.

Generally, if you're just talking material losses and not medical, the other insurance company will not fight it, they will just say "whew!" and pay up.

If the damages are subrogated they are responsible for 100% of the damages, not just what you are covered for.  they will pay your deductible, and whatever is billed to you by rental company.
DarkLightHitomi
 member, 1558 posts
Sat 11 May 2019
at 03:22
I'm in a weird mood today.
That's what I'm hoping for.
Sarge67
 member, 32 posts
Sun 12 May 2019
at 22:04
I'm in a weird mood today.
In reply to DarkLightHitomi (msg # 1391):

GRRRRRRRRR  I got another slap on the hand.

'Off Topic'

My point was if you are the ST/DM and either don't like or understand a rule, don't sweat it. It is your game and your world.

I know, I'm a bad old geezer and now the stones can be thrown.
praguepride
 member, 1394 posts
 "Hugs for the Hugs God!"
 - Warhammer Fluffy-K
Mon 13 May 2019
at 02:17
Re: I'm in a weird mood today.
Eur512:
If you are insured, and the other driver was insured, and it is the fault of the other driver - most insurance companies will consider this proven if there was a ticket issued to the other driver, but try nevertheless, nothing to lose-


This depends heavily by state. I think Michigan is a no-fault state where everyone just pays their own damages. Some states have clear cut fault, others assign values like 90/10 or 80/20 etc.

Bottom line is you can work with your insurance company to work with other insurance companies to get it all covered. I think if you're not liable for any damages it won't impact your insurance rates but I'm not 100% if that depends on which company you're using.

No matter what most major insurance companies get notifications of claims from other insurance companies (they work together to avoid fraud) so there isn't a lot of point in trying to hide it unless you're going completely under the table and cutting out insurance completely.
Eur512
 member, 797 posts
Mon 13 May 2019
at 19:27
Re: I'm in a weird mood today.
praguepride:
This depends heavily by state. I think Michigan is a no-fault state where everyone just pays their own damages. Some states have clear cut fault, others assign values like 90/10 or 80/20 etc.



It's more confusing than that.  "No Fault" compels YOUR insurance company to pay YOU regardless of fault.

It does not necessarily prevent OTHER insurance company from paying you, or paying your insurance company, when THEIR insured has caused the damage.

In such circumstances you can recover through subrogation IF its clear that their insured was at fault- hence, if they were issued a citation and you weren't, it works.

It might depend on local laws, I have done this twice in my life, both times in "no fault" states, and it has worked.  (Once, it got me to switch insurers, the guy who rear ended me had State Farm, which was easier to deal with for me and far more helpful than my OWN insurance company at the time, so maybe there's a sales angle to it!)