So yesterday, I got fired from D&D.
My DM for my Tuesday night Adventurer's League game contacted me because he "couldn't help but notice [I am] becoming more and more frustrated during sessions, talking a lot more at the table about non game things, stopping play a lot more to "correct" non issues, or simple things I forgot." He asked that we "talk about it before it becomes a real issue at the table!" (I'm cutting and pasting quotes from our FB chat.)
Yes, I had some mild frustration with a few things, but nothing was a deal-breaker. Strahd's a bipolar looney-tunes, and that can induce hair-pulling. I was upset after the perfect magic weapon for my fighter was distributed with a random die roll, even though the entire table agreed I should have it except for the ranger who ultimately
did get it. I got quiet when I lost, mourned my crushed hopes, and moved on. Certainly didn't blame the DM.
Yes, I cross-talk at the table. Guilty as charged, thank you for bringing it up, I commit to being quieter.
No, I don't remember "stopping play" for corrections. Please provide me with an example, and I'll happily take responsibility within reason.
Yes, I have some mild frustrations with the DM always saying "let him play his own character" when all I'm doing is helping the three players who are
brand new to D&D remember some basic powers to help them fully realize their potential. When the Level 1 barbarian doesn't Rage, she'll probably die.
Yes, there are former players who are no longer at the table who had frustration levels go to high for too long and things got ugly mid-game. I've been playing for decades, and that happens.
Finally, I apologized profusely for everything that was my responsibility and committed to correct the offending behavior. I considered all these minor issues, and I offered an easy solution.
So he starts talking about the challenges he had getting the group together, how much time and money he has invested in his hobby to DM for free, and that he's very happy with the group that has come together. So far so good.
Then I get this:
quote:
"I have to ask myself, as an amateur DM, investing his own resources into other peoples fun, am I willing to deal with peoples drama? Having read everything you shared, I am at the conclusion that I really don't want to have to deal with adversarial players. Some of the things you disagree with are things I know I am not willing to compromise on, the reason being that no DM can ever truly make everyone happy with their DM style. However, I am in the position to cut my losses with those who arent on board, and would rather focus my time and energy on those who are having fun and can bring themselves to accepting my DM style. After all, you arent paying me and I am under no obligation to cater to anyone's preferences. I feel as though I have put forth effort to be a friend to you, beyond the game table. However as your actions have shown me, this is all for naught. I do not feel you respect me as an equal at the table. On that same note, I do not seek to further attempt to gain your respect as it is not something I value any longer. Therefor I have come to the conclusion that I no longer want you at my table. Feel free to make your own Tuesday group. I wish you all the best man And am available should you want to vent, or voice any disagreement, just know my decision is final and unrelenting." (emphasis mine)
This is followed up with:
quote:
"I also just want you to know that I harbor no ill will towards you man."
I am in complete
Hostess Fruit Pieing shock.
I ask him what exactly I said in my plea to offend him. His response was that he "just wanted to hear me out."
I ask him if he had already made his decision before he talked to me. He said, "Of course not." Again, I ask what I said to lead him to believe I don't respect him. He says, "It had nothing to do with what you said. I judge people on character and actions. Those actions were observed at the table."
WTF?! Sounds sure as heck to me like you made your
cherries jubileeing decision way before you contacted me for this "talk."
The remainder is a further deteriorating spiral into this dude's madness as I try to discuss the logistics of me trying to run a table in the same store on the same night, as that's the ONLY night I can do it. I also ask him what he's planning on saying to the others, because I feel it's only fair to make sure that those who remain are
clear about the expectations that he for all intents and purposes
sprung on me in his own frustration. If I'm going to be the head-on-a-stick in front of his castle, he sure as heck better be overt about what it means. I also don't need him dragging my name through the mud when I may be interested in starting my own group.
So now my one face-to-face gaming outlet is squashed under the heel of a mad DM's boot, and I'm
really plantaining upset about it.
And the irony: I respected him until he told me that he didn't think I respected him, and now I don't respect him for not showing me the respect to let me know why he thinks I don't respect him. :)