My sympathy is running dry
My one remaining face-to-face game is being reduced to "whenever one person can handle it" and being co-opted as therapy, and I do not like it.
So, over the past three years my face-to-face gaming group (and good friends) has moved to various other parts of the country, thousands of miles away in some cases. As of last August, none of them are in town, and we only recently started gaming again live via the internet.
That makes the one face-to-face game I have left important to me. This game is one I also DM. It's for two of my husband's co-workers, both of whom are entirely new to gaming. Hubby wanted them to learn D&D 3.5, as its his favorite system. (Any protestations to the contrary that perhaps new gamers should perhaps start on a simpler system fell on deaf ears.)
The two co-workers need a lot of help, but they seem to having fun over the past year we've gamed. However, one of them, a woman I will call Jane, is falling into the same pattern as one woman in my other gaming group. I will call her Elle. Elle has a bright personality, creative, funny, effervescent; she's a joy to be around and a fantastic roleplayer. However, she has a lot of mental health issues, and in the last few years before she moved they began to take over her life. While she was trying to get help, and we were as supportive as we could (coming over to her if she couldn't come over to us, bringing her food, driving her places, rescheduling things to when she was feeling more up for them), past a certain point we simply couldn't wait on Elle. She understood that, because it had gotten to a point where we were constantly waiting until the literal last minute to see if she would be able to show up for any given event.
I very much understood what was going on - I have been through times in my life for very similar things. I have been in treatment for them and know how difficult it can be.
(Elle moved to be closer to more helpful family members, is getting better help, and is doing much better.)
However, we are starting to go through the exact same thing with Jane. She has also been diagnosed with various mental health issues, and is getting help. But this also means that for several months we have been waiting until maybe half a day's notice to see if we're gaming or not. Sometimes the answer wouldn't come until the afternoon of the game (a few hours before). With my work schedule, that meant I never knew if I needed to get the house clean and get up early, or if I could sleep in that day (as I'm nocturnal). I understand that mustering the wherewithal for social interaction can be difficult for all the above-stated reasons, but I feel it's disrespectful to keep me waiting until a few hours beforehand to know if you're going to show up or not. I'd like 24 hours' notice, at least, so I can plan my free time accordingly.
As Jane is going to continue to be unreliable because of her issues and her treatment (which I am happy she's getting), the other co-worker doesn't want to game with just my husband (as it leaves Jane out). I proposed getting some other people in the group, so we would have a quorum, and thusly could game on a more continuous basis, rotating characters in and out as necessary, but keeping the game on a regular schedule.
But Jane doesn't want other people in the group, as she's socially shy and doesn't want to "embarrass" herself in front of other people. As a note, the people I wanted to bring in are not the kind who would do such a thing; I'd never invite them to my house if they were. I brought it up to my husband, and he doesn't want other people either if Jane doesn't. He's content to game whenever she can muster up the wherewithal... and if the other co-worker is free that night too.
So the one face-to-face group I have is subject to whether or not one person is feeling up for it. I can't add anyone else to the group, because she wouldn't like it. And I don't have enough free time to add another game elsewhere with different people. If this situation doesn't improve, I am likely going to cancel the game entirely. I don't mind seeing these people socially, but as it seems that our interaction will be sporadic, I don't want to invest in making a game that no one can remember what we were doing or how to play from session to session.