(Game idea by Raz)

Basically you post something from an actual fortune cookie or make something up.

Examples from Jones lids:


When the daffodils blooom, so will great joy in your life.
Destroy the beeper.  (that one scares me)
This time is suitable for log-range plans and goals.
You are going to have a very comfortable old age.
This is a good time to finish up old tasks.
This message was last edited by the GM at 00:13, Thu 28 Apr 2011.

Im the first cookie to be ever made.

Wait, what happened to the last one?

Mrs. fields closed it down

Soulvirus had to bump it off in order to earn the Don's trust so that he could become a Made cookie.

Made out of 100% Samonella free ingredients, paper is made of tree sap

Our beef is so good that we feed it to our cows so that they taste extra beefy.

Breaking cookie voids warrenty

Fortune not ready.  Come back Tuesday.

You just broke your fortune.

You will surround yourself with warmth and riches

Ha! you waste you time, there's no fortune here,

Even the tiniest acorn can grow into a mighty oak

Even the thickest iron rod, can be ground into the smallest needle.

The tallest blade of grass gets cut first!

Take a left at the 711, go three miles. And stop.

If you have anger management issues, you might just be...

a barbarian.

*scribbled in a note pad* buy three bags of chips

Natural 20s mean you win.

there is something pleasant waiting for you.

your ugly arent you?

fatty.

because only fatties eat the cookies.

you just waisted 2 seconds to open the cookie and anothr 1 second to read this fortune. how's that for a fortune butt munch,,

"you better believe it's not butter, where I come from, we call that bile, but here in america, you suckers eat it, so hey, more money to me! oh wait here comes the bossma- *illiegible scratches and stains*"

"Ho ho, boy! I'd watch out for falling garbage trucks today if I where you!"

"cat not included"

The greasy fat guy behind the counter pees in the chowmein periodically.

"This message brought to you by petco."

"A gnome's gonna be attracted to you starting today. Try using bug spray and keep it with you at all times"

"to avoid gnome contact, bring a hazard suit"

(in a seperate, but adjacent cookie)

"you better listen to that last cookie"

*a cookie 5 meters away from emerald's cookies*

''the guy who is 5 meters away from you and is currently reading a fortune is your target. should you accept this mission please terminate the subject as you deem fit''

''this fortune will selfdestruct after 5 seconds. goodbye''

"please report to kitchen for dish-duty, this is a work-based-pay restaurant"

"you'll die soon. sorry."

"that's not SARS, I swear, you can trust me, c'mon..."

Once China rules the world, you'll think twice about disregarging these fortunes with such casual disdain, dog of the western world.

off topic: oh too bad, china will die first because of their bird flu.

Stick around, China'll own it all. So far so good....

re-introduce china to a new kind of opium. that will bring them back to the stone age.

These fortunes are made on the backs of Taiwanese child laborers

Oops, you shouldn't have read this small rune of explosion.

Care to recycle me? you don't seem to care much about the enviroment, mister "shops at trader joe's"

Actual fortune cookie fortune:

The superior person is modest in speech but exceeds in action.

Best. Fortune. EVER.

Walk that straight and narrow path for now.

Makes me think of:

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far."

- Theodore Roosevelt

(from my parish priests homily this evening)

"To our christan friends, Happy Easter, to our Jewish friends, happy Passover, to our athiest friends, cashier is on the left."

"Doesn't look good, but your family could make alot of money if you videotape it"

Disregard last cookie

Your fortune is in another cookie.
(I actually got one that said that once.)

"MSG is in everything but this fortune."

The following forture is classified

You'll be happy and good stuff will happen...
that is of course dependent on the fact that you come back to our restaurant and buy our food.

Missing: tractor/trailor truck with wife, if found you may keep the wife

This slip of paper will explode in 3... 2... 1... BOOM!!!
Only joking it doesn't really blow up.(yet)

Fire proof homes are everything but

Your life is completely up to chance and anything prophesied about it may or may not come true.

Take a number

Give all your money to China and good things will happen.
This message was last edited by the player at 00:15, Fri 14 Aug 2009.

Stick around China's gonna own it all, your lucky number has gone up by two

My lucky number has always been and always will be (hopefully) 31.

Yours is obviously the square root of -25.

End of rope reached, please tie knot, hold tightly

Fortunes cost $9.95 buddy, nice try.

Procrastination is fear of success.

Success is the fear of the lazy gnomes.

Play a microsoft CD forwards, I dare ya!

The Red Matter from the new Star Trek movie was Twilight, Windows Vista, and the Jonas Brothers in liquid form- all that suck in one place makes the black hole.

Have you seen Nemo?

Yes, I think he was next to that place that makes bottles.

Your future is a gordian knot tying up an enigma, trapped in a conundrum.

Why would I tell you my fortune? You'd just throw me aside and eat the cookie.

That man behind you, he killed his wife.. Now he is after your children.

I am 98% sure you will die eventually.

Your future is bleak

Help! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!

Beware Elves giving wedgies.

Man who smokes pot chokes on handle.

Your lifes achievement will come to be fish.
This message was last edited by the player at 05:21, Tue 01 Sept 2009.

Remember to remember.

Someone is able to read your mind.

(My wife actually got this one once.)

Things always taste better with real cheese.

Look behind you.

you looked didnt you? ha-ha-ha. fooled you!

We totally arn't using these to spread disease.

Go to Iraq, find a soldier and kick him in the nuts. It will surely give you good luck.

All men swallow, but Fu Man Chu.

I was sick with the flu this week and I had a fortune cookie.  I forget what the fortune was but on the back was a learn chinese thing.  The words were 'to have a fever'.

May ill fortune get lost on its way to your front door.

Never believe a fortune cookie that comes from a koala.

Trust Soulvirus.

although some fortunes from koalas due to lack of statistical supervision can may infact be true. Thus regarding some of todays fortunes may be accounted as one of these events.
This message was last edited by the player at 03:55, Tue 03 Nov 2009.

Never believe a fortune cookie coming from a virus.

never believe an actor especially a guy prentending to be an existing actor.

Never believe something made by the government to kill all humans, AKA SV.

Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Amusing fortune cookie fortune is amusing.

Some fortunes aren't as good as others...

That wasn't chicken.

No, really, it wasn't.

Beware the wereducks...

That's what you just ate. They're brothers and cousins might come after you...

Along with the kamikaze watermelons that feast on human flesh by the light of the full moon...

Never trust a tripwire.

Don't trust a wiretrip, either. Seriously

Nothing is serious.

Internet is serious business.

Business is serious business.

Serious, serious business is.

Serious business isn't so serious.

Think it through. Do you really want to kill them?

Think about it. Would killing them be fun?

You want to go home and rethink your life.

You want to start a new life with no home.

On your doorstep is a way to live without house payments.

Off your roof is a way to live in pain.

Don't put the lights on the roof this year unless you want to live.

Don't put the lights up at all in fact... You might get strangulated.

One can find great pleasure in licking garbage trucks in 8-degree weather.

Looking for fun? Go dumpster diving.

Looking for trash? Go to Wal-Mart.

You'll actually find something useful when you go to Wal-Mart today!

Today is a good day to... Well, not really. Nevermind.

It's Hammah Time.

Chuck Norris was here. Run.

Don't forget to delete your cookies.

Good luck, I'm behind 7 proxies.

"Man who put 'p' in 'pool' soon make yellow water."

crowded elevator smell different to short guy.

"Your fortune eaten by wildabeasts in the Arabian peninsula."

"Your fortune eaten by Big Ted on the assembly line."

Confucius says: "Why the hell not."

A wise man once said... I forgot.

"They don't call it rice bowel for nothing."

"What are you looking at me for?"
or: "Fortune machine out of order, try again later"...that one would also make a nice Magic 8 ball saying too...excuse me while I go suggest a new game.

Everybody likes you.

(actual fortune, my friend got it once)

"My mama was eaten by Cookie Monster."

Avoid watching the Cookie Monster today.

"In 10 minutes, you will die from the poison in the food you just ate."

"There is a monkey on your back."

"Confucious say: when koy fish no bite hook, replace fishing rod with shotgun (or replace koy fish with fish stick)."

Interpretation: Never be afraid to to take it to "a whole 'nutha level" when things arent going your way.
This message was last edited by the GM at 16:04, Fri 19 Feb 2010.

"When you want something, you have to work for it"

(I actually got this one once, no joke. It sounds a lot like a 'well, no duh!' statement to me, but apparently it isn't to some people...)

Here is one that I got yesterday:

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Isn't something that is impossible by default not possible? Can I do something that cannot be possible to do? Why would it be fun to somehow bend my dimensional state and experience extreme mental trauma to complete a normally impossible act?

In reply to Dawna (msg #139):

Go to new york city and you'll realise that there are plenty of people who will have a kid if they want something, so that way they can get their 'baby daddy' to buy them whatever they need.

No.

'What Goes Up Will Stay There If You Try Hard Enough'

The one you love is right around the corner ... it waits.

"Your stalker is right around the corner... it waits."

HTTP Error 404 - File or Directory not found

With great power comes great responsibility, and with great responsibility comes change ... with change comes obama, AND WITH OBAMA COMES COMMUNISM! DEATH TO POW'R!!!!

'The Secret of Getting Ahead Is Getting Started'

In reply to ShootingStar (msg #146):

Nice.

;.; nobody loves me.

'There is nothing you cannot do.'

The World is your Wonton, just keep a toilet close by.

This line left intentionally blank.

Confucis say: Shut up! I'm trying to write a fortune here!

That wasn't chicken.

Tiny acorns lead to Mighty Oaks.

often the most thought-provoking (and dangerous) ideas come after Midnight.

"In the face of terrifying things, just remember that taxes will always be scarier."

(not actually a fortune, but a quote fromSilver Lining)

There are two certainties in life, death and taxes.  You just can't play chess with taxes.

Confusious say, "When woman bent towards man, she is bent for pleasure."

You are older than what you have already written and younger than what you have yet to type.

When in doubt, worship Ember.
This message has been brought to you by Ember's Worshipers. Please remember to sacrifice cheesecake, cookies, pizza and any other yummy foods to the Goddess of Cute. Thank you and have a nice day... As long as you remember that your existence hinges on Ember's will.

When in doubt, alfalfa sprout. write it out.

"Even the mightiest river can be moved with enough pebbles."

"The things we do to factory cows and chickens don't make them any less delicious."

It was about time I got out of that cookie.

(Just saw this last night)

"If you're reading this, it means i am dead. After long hours in the fortune cookie plant with an abusive boss, i have finally decided to end it all. So i now put my suicide note in this cookie. Oh, and you're lucky nubmers are 6, 41, 21, 8, and 13."
This message was last edited by the GM at 16:42, Sat 10 Apr 2010.

Taste the soup.

The man that believes that this cookie tells fortunes, is a big furless ape.

iCookie. It has an app!

If you want a real fortune... Get a job or marry someone rich.

actual cookie today; You will find peaceful wealth beyond guilt

You will find great success today.

You will become King today.  Or Queen, depending on who you are.  Whatever.  Sheesh.

food lend itself merit.

In the eating of the cookie, one will discover the merits of looking before you leap, namely that of removing the paper fortune first.

yu have found good fortune.

You shall see the number 7.

yOU WILL CATCH THE CAPS LOCK VIRUS AND WON'T BE ABLE TO CURE IT!

You will be destroyed in 3...2...1...*BOOM!*

You will one day be Rick Roll'd.

Learn html coding. <a href="smouch.net/lol">Here's</a> a link to a site!
This message was last edited by the player at 14:15, Tue 06 July 2010.

Nintendo and Disney will one day have an epic battle for control of the world.

Nintendo and Microsoft will one day destory the world.

But Google shall reign supreme.

One can only drink by tipping the drink on its side.

He who throws dirt is losing ground.

A wise man does not struggle to wrap the last of the spaghetti around his fork.

You got this one before.

If half a chicken could lay half an egg in half a day, how far could a toad kick a pickle? Answer: 3 gallons but bicycles don't have windows.

Just because one digs holes does not make one holy.

You can't have slaughter without laughter.

Are you sure you really want to know?

Oh thank god...I've been trapped in that cookie for ten years!

Man who eat fortune cookie not lose weight so quickly.

You broke my cookie house :'(

Sorry, but it's hard to predict a nonexistent future.

You will soon misinterpret a vague "fortune" much to your pleasure and eventual horror.

Please see fortune on other side

OTHER SIDE: please see fortune on other side

Think that cookie is bland?   Chew on this piece of paper, instead.

Man who throw dirt is quickly losing ground.

If you’re happy and you know it,
and you really want to show it,
if you’re happy and you know it,
eat a monkey.

You were ripped off.

The early bird may get the worm but it is the second mouse who gets the cheese.

LOOK OUT, HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

Chances are, you're reading this right now.

Knife goes in guts come out.

IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!!

The cake is a lie!!!

I like it when the red water comes out.

Peace is a lie. There is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.

I like waffles.

I'm still waffling about waffles.

You are poster of the week.

^ Actually got that one in my cookie this morning. Fine, don't believe me.

But I may actually be waffling about not waffling about waffles.

You should purchase a yacht.

Confucius say in 480 B.C.: You cannot eat the cookies on your computer.

Chickety-China Chinese Chicken,
Have a drumbstick and your brain starts clickn'!
You've been jipped!

Buy another fortune cookie and good luck!

Other fortune: Your life will be filled with disappointment.Boo-hoo.

Feeling inadequate in the bedroom? Call 18000 ENGORGE today!

Man who sits on toilet... Better remember to wipe.

Click HERE to make Fortune Cookie your homepage.

See that morbidly obese woman sitting near the window eating the pork chow mein with grease on her chin?   Even she can't stand your aftershave.

If you're reading this, you have no life

If you have no life, you should post it on the Royalty Board.

I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

I had that once.  Had to be near a toilet the whole day!

(Oops, I thought you said you had the explosive runs.)


Man who use ladder on toilet high on pot.

This could be an almost perfect day.  Enjoy it.

Like you would believe me even if I told you.

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder... and it is insane.

Whatever I say you'll just make a dirty joke out of it.

Man who weave lies not even have basket to show for it.

Life is gonna be great!  That's what you were looking for right?

This fortune is a waste of paper.

Do you really expect for this little slip of paper to cheer you up?

You can't buy love but you can rent it for a while

When life gives you lemons throw them in life's face and demand better food.

Don't pick your nose with a chainsaw.

I'm glad you didn't eat me when I was in the cookie!

Beware of imminent paper cut.

You will dispose of this paper in the proper waste receptacle.

The times to act was yesterday.

Your fate will be a good one if you continue to buy more Chinese food.

If life hands you lemons, tuck them inside your bra.

Never let your waffles get soggy and you will lead a good life.

Looking for a Yeti is like looking for a nonexistent needle in a infinitely large haystack.

If you can not see the bright side of life then polish the dull side.

This is not the fortune you are looking for. Move along.

Don't panic.

Your not going to like this Fortune... or the next one.

Happiness awaits you if you purchase more of our Chinese food.

{{OOC} See, I told you... okay so, I'm a liar}

You will have Indigestion, that will turn into something fatal... but at least you got to dine at our fancy establishment!

If you lower all of the doorways in Beijing, you can make Peking duck.

This cookie is magic and will grant you one wish... so long as it's the wish to eat a magic cookie.

I'm sorry to say it but you don't have any lucky numbers.

Turn left at the light, go three blocks and then say hello to the first person you see. You'll become fast friends.

If you had a penny for every time someone told you you're charismatic, you'd have two pennies and a hotel mint.

You will post more often and save ASWoT!

You will find mint penguins in your teacups. Do not listen to their advise on tax evasion or the invasion of the triplicates.

"Computer RPG game like f2f RPG game, but with no heart, no soul. Computer good at inventory management and mapping."

This fortune is moot.

Fortune Makers are on strike and we humbly apologize for your lack of a fortune.

Da Da Fortune say: apple foot goes for ceiling herbal Elizabeth much.

Cookie Monster ate my mother!

2012 is coming -- cherish your days, they may be numbered.

You're going to die.

What did you expect to live forever?

Good news -- you will live forever!
Bad news -- as mulch.

There is always someone more able to do your tasks...

Hey, look at the whackjob looking for meaning in a cookie!
Nyuk Nyuk!  (Yeah, we are talking about you, dips**t!)

If you give all of your cash to the waiter than you will have a great life.

Wait!!! Someone who didn't eat the fortune... this is a first... i don't know what to say...

Sorry, this is actually a 'For Tune' cookie.
"Yep dappa dap dap dee dee, zippy da doo diddee dum da dum..."

Eror 404 Fortune not found.

Agent Bond meet me at the following coordinates...

为什么我会翻译为您的财富？

Don't eat the cookie!!!
Awww, too late.

You probably won't have a very good life.  Sorry, just statistics.

Seize the day.  Be in the now.  Eat the damned cookie!

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.

Overpost and you may attempt to claim board royalty.

Nothing comes to he who waits

Patience is a virtue but laziness is a sin.

Political debates would be more entertaining if truth were spoken.

Mmmm...you eat that cookie. Oh yeah...slower ;)

(YES THE WINKY FACE IS NECESSARY!!!!!!)

Hey, this fortune wasn't for you!

You should ask out the girl behind the counter.

OW! You cracked my cookie.

How would you feel if I ate your house?

Your fortune is ... meh.

You're life will be full, of dissappointment....
Just thought I'd tell ya...

Black Friday ain't worth it -- just be cool & you'll get your goodies.

We both know that if you don't like this fortune you'll just get another cookie.

You at the whole cookie?  DAMN!

Made in China (through wage slave labor)

How much do you think I got paid to write this?  *LESS THAN YOUR MEAL!*
And now you want a fortune!??!!

You have a sad and miserable life.

I poisoned your cookie.

You're welcome.

Don't look now but there's a spider on your left shoulder.

What goes in must come out -- see you in 3-4 hours?

This fortune cookie made by the sibling team Sam and Ella.

Have you checked the children?

The paper is more edible than the cookie.

Did you remember to ask for food with no MSG?  Prepare to swell!

ask another time...fortune cookies have to sleep too!

If your food was spicey, and you're not nicey,
shortly you'll be required to feel the rRing of fFire.

(and it burns burns burns, that ring of fire!  Tthat ring of fire!)

You will find a large Oxen.

You should spend more time eating delicious food, you're wasting away!

This fortune is a lie and will not come true.

Your body will be found floating in the river in three days time.

One with a red shoe will play a role that you do not expect in your little scheme. What? Not all cookies are bland.

Your fortune isn't worth telling.

I foretell that your lucky numbers are 15, 4, 9, 27, and 5. Oh, look on the back, I was right.

Your fortune is ... oops, never mind, I've got no damned idea!

We poisoned your food.  Have a very exciting final day of life!

Ha, you thought that was chicken?

What do you mean I'm not really a cookie!?

Bite my crisp cookie ass -- I got my cookie butt up in ya mouth!

Anyone see where my dog went?

Remember: China is your friend!
This message was last edited by the player at 16:46, Wed 01 Feb 2012.

Fortune -- Romney will not represent you -- unless you're already rich.

Fortune Cookie says: Can someone tell me why Gingrich and Santorum are such rebellious muckrakers?

Please reboot.  System failure.  Don't eat cookie.

You soon meet long lost friend.

The meat you eat was long lost friend.

Shake twice ok. Shake thrice get arrested.

Distant water won't quench your immediate thirst.

Are you still reading these in the utterly vain and mad hope some idiot in a sweat shop somewhere actually put something truthful about your future inside a cookie that was randomly given you at a crappy Chinese restaurant that just happened to be in your neighborhood?

System error, press any key to reboot.

Confucius say: Do not let dog do business on neighbors lawn, else neighbor take liberty with your newspaper.

Man who stand on top of Grand Canyon high on crack.

He who sows seeds must remember to reap harvest.

You will now get up and do a combination of the Macarena and the Monkey.

If you don't post this fortune on ASWoT, you will die in the next 7 years...or share it on facebook......and send it to 10 of your friends..

Whatever you do, don't scratch. It may itch like the devil now, but if you scratch it, it'll just get worse.
...
I TOLD YOU NOT TO SCRATCH!!! Great, now it's spread and you'll be scratching places you shouldn't be scratching in public.
I hope your happy.

Confucius say: Mother's Day come 9 months after Father's Day.

In order to truly find yourself, you must play hide and seek alone.

Student who study history find there is no future in it.

Man who put on tuxedo in dead end soon find himself all dressed up with no place to go.

Confucius say do not buy pop up book written by Anthony Weiner.

Save the world first, cookies later.
This message was last edited by the player at 00:20, Fri 09 Aug 2013.

Let loose the Aardvarks of War.

Nothing is more painful or dangerous than the truth.

In reply to Agedmadness (msg # 336):

Is the world "fist" part of having the whole world in His hands?  :)

________________________

Man who fly on hanglider high as kite.

Thank you for buying and opening a FourTune™ fortune cookie. You will now immediately forget that you just bought one and buy another.

Thank you for buying and opening a FourTune™ fortune cookie. You will now immediately forget that you just bought one and buy another.

Man who just cut cheese wish he had shredded it instead.

Best if consumed by Oct 14, 1917

Fortune Not Found: Abort, Retry, Ignore?

Ignore the fluff

Ouch

You can only understand something by trying it yourself, so taste the soup.

Your taxes are due

Health inspectors don't look inside fortune cookies.

Fortunate fortune!

Man who go back and forth in chair really rocks.

He who laughs last, laughs _____

Help! I've been trapped in a fortune cookie factory!

(Don't know if that's been done before or not, but it was just begging to be said.)

(We love repetition around here.)

Help! I've been trapped in a fortune cookie factory!


:P

(A real one I've gotten)

You have a very magnetic personality.

(The thought occurred to me - what if Magneto got that one? XD )

Another real one, that I opened:

The greatest danger could be your stupidity.

Your lucky number is 666

Your meal will not agree with you.

Your friend will give you an invaluable gift, which you will proceed to lose.

your name does not define you... You shoes do.

(I dunno lol I tried)

Tuesday will be your lucky day; too bad you will die on Monday.

you will solve a riddle... that should be obvious... and feel silly

You shoulda had a V8

The sun will come up on the wrong side if the day will really be the worst.

It's all downhill from here.

Don't cross any streets, I said don't cross the streets, too late, you will be hit by a car...

It is to late to ask why... but one should always last how! Or is it the other way around.

Get a life

Don't look behind you.

Let the cookies fall from the sky.

All flowers will now be edible cake treats

Walk that straight and narrow path, for now.

Turn left when a sign says right for adventure.