you just waisted 2 seconds to open the cookie and anothr 1 second to read this fortune. how's that for a fortune butt munch,,

"you better believe it's not butter, where I come from, we call that bile, but here in america, you suckers eat it, so hey, more money to me! oh wait here comes the bossma- *illiegible scratches and stains*"

"Ho ho, boy! I'd watch out for falling garbage trucks today if I where you!"

"cat not included"

The greasy fat guy behind the counter pees in the chowmein periodically.

"This message brought to you by petco."

"A gnome's gonna be attracted to you starting today. Try using bug spray and keep it with you at all times"

"to avoid gnome contact, bring a hazard suit"

(in a seperate, but adjacent cookie)

"you better listen to that last cookie"

*a cookie 5 meters away from emerald's cookies*

''the guy who is 5 meters away from you and is currently reading a fortune is your target. should you accept this mission please terminate the subject as you deem fit''

''this fortune will selfdestruct after 5 seconds. goodbye''

"please report to kitchen for dish-duty, this is a work-based-pay restaurant"

"you'll die soon. sorry."

"that's not SARS, I swear, you can trust me, c'mon..."

Once China rules the world, you'll think twice about disregarging these fortunes with such casual disdain, dog of the western world.

off topic: oh too bad, china will die first because of their bird flu.

Stick around, China'll own it all. So far so good....

re-introduce china to a new kind of opium. that will bring them back to the stone age.

These fortunes are made on the backs of Taiwanese child laborers

Oops, you shouldn't have read this small rune of explosion.

Care to recycle me? you don't seem to care much about the enviroment, mister "shops at trader joe's"

Actual fortune cookie fortune:

The superior person is modest in speech but exceeds in action.

Best. Fortune. EVER.

Walk that straight and narrow path for now.

Makes me think of:

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far."

- Theodore Roosevelt

(from my parish priests homily this evening)

"To our christan friends, Happy Easter, to our Jewish friends, happy Passover, to our athiest friends, cashier is on the left."

"Doesn't look good, but your family could make alot of money if you videotape it"

Disregard last cookie