You know you have problems if you eat two fortune cookies and the first one reads:

"Someone in your life needs a letter from you."

And the second one reads:

"Soon you will receive a letter from a loved one."

I think I might get it.

Anyway,

Fortune cookie says: "TRANS RIGHTS!"

"Never do anything halfway because"

"Don't listen to fortune cookies, they always lie"

"You are not illiterate."

"Ce n'est pas un biscuit de fortune"

Foolish man listen to heart and mind; wise man listen to cookies.

May you live in interesting slimes.

This is ashton kutcher and you just got punk'd!!!! look, there's a camera over there and over there!!!! oh man you should've seen your face!!!!

Attempt not, or accomplish.

DO NOT GO TO TOKYO STATION TODAY

Enjoy the sun its the only one you've got.

Build your own moon!

Why not? I go there about once a week...

Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Why else would he be standing on the toilet?



Just a feeling. I also visit once a week, it's really hard though since I live in Canada.

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"This post-apocalyptic fortune cookie brought to you by Walmart(TM) Canned Air: Just Add Oxygen! Now with a Fresh Spring Scent!"

Well, luckily I didn't go there yesterday when you posted, so I guess I was saved by the fortune cookie...we will never know.


Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

This humor is degenerating rapidly. I'm worried for it's safety, we may soon reach the comedu singularity known as "Post Meta-Irony" where every possible joke has been told and deemed to be neither ironic nor legitimately funny.

In reply to Froggychum (msg # 540):

Wow! I found this exact statement in my last fortune cookie

A mocha soy latte is three bean soup.

I know.... I put it there myself ... O_o



This has caused me great anguish. This is an information hazard, please delete this.

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"This fortune cookie will self-destruct in three seconds"
This message was last edited by the player at 20:30, Thu 03 June 2021.

In reply to Froggychum (msg # 540):

"Your reality check about to bounce."

For dinner yesterday, we had chicken strips with fries

My mother said tomorrow's would be meat and potatoes

Then, my brother pointed out rather hilariously that would mean we'd be having meat and potatoes two nights in a row.

A real story from me, for once.

Edit: My fortune cookie suggestion:

"Please send more bananas"
This message was last edited by the player at 04:24, Thu 09 Sept 2021.

"If get called into jury duty, say 'My fortune cookie say he is guilty.'"

"Fortune cookies are no basis for a system of government"