Your fortune is in another cookie.
(I actually got one that said that once.)

"MSG is in everything but this fortune."

The following forture is classified

You'll be happy and good stuff will happen...
that is of course dependent on the fact that you come back to our restaurant and buy our food.

Missing: tractor/trailor truck with wife, if found you may keep the wife

This slip of paper will explode in 3... 2... 1... BOOM!!!
Only joking it doesn't really blow up.(yet)

Fire proof homes are everything but

Your life is completely up to chance and anything prophesied about it may or may not come true.

Take a number

Give all your money to China and good things will happen.
This message was last edited by the player at 00:15, Fri 14 Aug 2009.

Stick around China's gonna own it all, your lucky number has gone up by two

My lucky number has always been and always will be (hopefully) 31.

Yours is obviously the square root of -25.

End of rope reached, please tie knot, hold tightly

Fortunes cost $9.95 buddy, nice try.

Procrastination is fear of success.

Success is the fear of the lazy gnomes.

Play a microsoft CD forwards, I dare ya!

The Red Matter from the new Star Trek movie was Twilight, Windows Vista, and the Jonas Brothers in liquid form- all that suck in one place makes the black hole.

Have you seen Nemo?

Yes, I think he was next to that place that makes bottles.

Your future is a gordian knot tying up an enigma, trapped in a conundrum.

Why would I tell you my fortune? You'd just throw me aside and eat the cookie.

That man behind you, he killed his wife.. Now he is after your children.

I am 98% sure you will die eventually.

Your future is bleak