...you live in the USA.

...the postman tells you what's in your mail two days before it arrives.

You fly on an airplane.

...you pay your income taxes (which were unconstitutional in the US until well into its second century).

The news is splattered by comments of the NSA...   oh wait that's already happened...

...the government says that they are not watching you and from now on will not watch you.

There is a government...   what do you think they do with their spare time?

...you let them.

The news has stopped making mean, and rude remarks about them, even when popular opinion is that they suck

...George Orwell wanders around, just taking notes and occasionally sighing.

When your phone never, ever rings...   yet you know a thousand people who say they've talked with you on the phone

...your best friend is constantly talking into his shirt cuff.

Everybody around you seems to have itchy ears...

QFT.  Most people don't even realize...

When one of the Wifis' is called FBI Surveillance

new topic

...blind people look away.

beholders can't hold their lunch when they look at you

Your reflection in the mirror attempts to gouge its own eyes out.

You walk down the street and everybody is disintegrating around you

...you catch a glimpse yourself in a reflective surface and throw up a little.

Aliens come to the planet with an ugliest person in the entire multiverse award, dieing upon seeing you, the trophy is left upon your doorstep.

...at your birth, the attending physician looked at you and said "Congratulations! It's a-  What is it?"

Your mother had to cut you out of her belly, because your ugliness was killing her, albeit she died of bloodloss anyway

You were dumped into sewers later to become the penguin