Cursed Genie

One person makes a wish, the next person corrupts it and makes a new wish.

Ex:
I wish for ten billion dollars.

Bill Gates hits you with his car and you sue him, and win. You're also permanently comatose.



First wish: I wish that I could fly.
This message was last edited by the GM at 16:33, Thu 17 Mar 2011.

Grant becomes a housefly and is promptly swatted with a rolled up newspaper

I wish I had an ice cream cone

The cone falls on the ground.

I wish for superman's powers.

Goflux gets Superman's powers, but then Doomsday comes and kills him.

I wish to be a king of some grand kingdom.

Granted.

Grant becomes King of Grantdom, which is promptly conquered and the king is executed.

I wish I was a telekinetic
This message was last edited by the player at 03:51, Thu 10 Mar 2011.

The influx of random thoughts drives you to suicide.

I wish I was Sean Connery.

Epic fail:

Telekinetic - controls things with their mind
Telepath - reads people's minds.

Granted:  You become Sean Connery and die from an unexpected heart attack, because you aged so quickly.

I wish I had something better to do

Whoops; totally misread that. D'oh.

You find something else but it is more boring.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted

You have unlimited wishes, although it really doesn't matter as the first one will either lead to your untimely death or a fate worse than death.

I wish for something less boring

Granted

You now find everything terribly interesting, from the tiniest spec to the account records of the local church. Unfortunately, everything is more interesting than the last thing, you've lost all focus.


I wish for good luck, and good fortune, to out weigh bad luck, and misfortune in my life, and those I currently and eventually care about, for the rest of time.

Granted.

You are blessed with good luck and fortune as are everyone you love or ever will love and care about.  For the rest of time.  However, time ends ........................................................................................................................................................... now.

I wish I had an Oscar Meyer hotdog.

Granted--- sadly it's delivered in a uranium casing.

-----------------

I wish for understanding.

Granted.

You understand that life is pointless and promptly execute yourself

I wish no one ever died.

Granted-
No one has ever died. Ever. Dinosaurs eat you, you spend the rest of eternity as living digested muck.

--
I wish for enjoyment.

Granted

You enjoy yourself.  Too much in fact, you become addicted.  Hair grows on your palms.  You go blind.  It even falls off after some time.  You continue to enjoy it even afterward, though the ways you find fulfillment can't be listed here.  Eventually you are arrested and put into prison and find a whole other type of enjoyment as you become intimately familiar with your cell mate Butch.  Butch passes you along to his friends, which you also enjoy.  You are exposed to every sort of STD out there, including HIV, but you enjoy each one.  Finally, AIDS kicks in and you enjoy the slow agonizing death of not being able to breath caused by catching pneumonia.  You enjoy your funeral and being worm food.  You enjoy being part of the carbon cycle.  Finally, the world ends and you enjoy that too.  Until you're nothing but a spec of dirt floating in the universe which you rather enjoy too.

I wish for a non-radioactive cheeseburger

The burger isen't radioactive but its rotten and you die of food poisoning.

I wish to have the greatest singing voice in history.

Granted. You get a cd of the greatest singing voice in history, but later accidentally sit on it and it breaks.


=--
I wish for a panacea

Granted

You have the greatest singing voice in history.  However, after your debut you're swarmed by lustful teenage girls and trampled to death by several dozen stiletto heels.

Granted

You have a panacea.  However, miraculously no one ever gets sick, poisoned or is in need of your panacea.  It gets stored in your closet and forgotten for all eternity.


I wish I wasn't hungry.
This message was last edited by the player at 08:03, Thu 10 Mar 2011.

Granted- You die, you have no feelings any longer.

--
I wish to be the smartest person to have ever existed.

Granted

You are the smartest person ever to live.  Smarter than Einstein, Newton, Plato and everyone else.  Of course when you share your ideas with the world they laugh at you and you're committed to an insane asylum where you're kept doped up on drugs and are never allowed to reach your potential.  You die a lonely and forgotten man.  Years later the world realizes how smart you actually were

I wish for a comfy bed.

Granted,

You have a very comfy bed but you spend way to much time sleeping, you forget all your friends, family, everything and only want to sleep all day.

I wish to be a great warrior.

Granted

You are a great warrior, sadly your first fight is against the best warrior, and you die.

--
I wish for eternal youth.

Granted

You have eternal youth.  You're a baby forever.  All you do is cry, eat, sleep and poop.

I wish I was a great novelist
This message was last edited by the player at 08:13, Thu 10 Mar 2011.

Allas, I was to slow to post.

(That was a great and clever twist in my wish)
This message was last edited by the player at 08:19, Thu 10 Mar 2011.

Granted

You are a great novelist, sadly you never get up the courage to share your work so it's never recognized.

-
I wish for the rightful ownership of a goldmine.

Granted

You have are the rightful owner to a goldmine.  Unfortunately it ran out of gold years ago.

I wish for a perfect eutopia

Granted-
You get the perfect Eutopia.
You-topia. You're the only one there. Everyone has all the same ideals. It lasts about a year, and then you die off of loneliness.

--
I wish for courage.

Granted

You're like the cowardly lion, you now have courage.  With your new found courage you decide to go sky diving.  However, your pack doesn't open and neither does the reserve shoot.  The instructor you were with was too busy flirting with the hot girl you had enough courage to finally ask out and didn't see you were in trouble until you bounced off the ground.  By that time it was too late.

I wish my utopia wasn't so lonely

Granted

Your Utopia welcomes gaint ants in as company and they devour you and everything in the Utopia.

If only I had a brain, wait I can wish, I wish I had a brain.

Granted

You have a brain.  However, its been stored in formaldehyde in a mason jar for the last century and is utterly useless.

I wish I had new shoes.

Granted, you have a new pair of shoes, custom made--to fit someone else...three sizes smaller...


I wish, more than anything, more than life, more than the moon, I wish to discover a tattoo ink that can glow, but is safe to use on people.

Granted.

You find it, then die from a stampeding elephant before being able to use it.

I wish to be immortal.

Granted: But you age faster than most people, you just don't die, and you experience all the weaknesses of the elderly. You just don't die.


--
I wish for a brilliant grilled cheese recipe.

Granted.

You learn the recipe, but you get your hands chopped off and your tongue removed, so no one will ever be able to eat it.

I wish to be indestructible.

Granted: Your body is compressed to the point that on a molecular level every iota of your being to compact. Your density is beyond anything man has seen, and can even attempt at harming. Unfortunately you died in the process.


--

I wish for the funds and acceptance to graduate school.

Granted. Sadly, it's in China, and you have no means of getting there, nor learning the native tongue.

I wish to be a tiger.

You're a tiger, you were born in 1926, the year of the tiger--sadly you die of old age immediately.

I wish for a spoon.

Granted. You wake up laying in bed with a man holding you from behind.

I wish for a new dog.

Granted, you get a hotdog, made earlier that day.

I wish for good health.

You have some of the greatest health ever seen, but everyone else dies as a major outbreak of Swine flu is released.

I want EA to care about its fans.

Granted: EA cares about its fans. Too much, they go bankrupt and have to close down due to donating money to "fans"

--
I wish for an easy job with a high salary---that I can keep until I choose.

Granted. The job is too easy, and you die of boredom.

I wish i was a good artist.

Granted

You are an amazing artist.  Everything you draw comes to life.  Literally.  You make the mistake of drawing Sci-Fi and the alien monster from Vendarr 7 abuses you with its tentacles before eating you.

I wish I could clone myself

(Oh god no)

Granted, but the clones rebel and kill you. They are then taken by the government and never seen again.

I wish I automatically knew the right response to anything someone asked me.

Granted

You automatically know the correct response to anything anyone asks you.  However, in exchange you become deaf and can't hear what anyone is asking you.

I wish for a not very creative corruption to my wish.
This message was last edited by the player at 20:30, Fri 11 Mar 2011.

Granted. Nothing happens.

I wish for infinate power.

Granted,

Your power so incredible it would destroy the universe with you used it.

I wish to have peace through out our planet and the galaxy.

(how exactly was that a corrupted wish?  You gave me exactly what I wished for?)

Granted.

Peace reigns on our planet and throughout the galaxy.  The era of peace lasts exactly 72 hours.  The U.S. government spent billions of dollars trying to predict when the sun would die.  Unfortunately, one of their mathematicians miscarried a decimal point and their equation presented a faulty answer.  The Earth's sun died exactly 72 hours after Murray's wish for galactic peace.  All life on Earth died because they hadn't made contact with life on other planets yet.  Peace continued, however the rest of the Galaxy never knew it all originated from a once blue planet called Earth.

I wish Goflux eternal happiness
This message was last edited by the player at 21:15, Fri 11 Mar 2011.

Goflux is eternally happy however his happiness stems from eating small children and he is eventually hunted down and killed by an angry mob.

I wish I didn't have to go to work just now.

Granted, your workplace is hit by a nuclear bomb. There are, obviously, no survivors. This causes WWIII, wiping out the majority of the world.

I wish i was awesome.

Granted

You are awesome.  However, 30 seconds after you become awesome, awesome becomes the new lame.  Sorry.

I wish Goflux wasn't lame.

Granted.

Goflux dies. Now his lameness is past-tense.

I wish that I could own a Porsche...

Granted. You could, but you don't.

I wish Ari would stop insulting me.

Granted. Instead of Aribeth insulting you, every other living thing on the planet earth, and every other sentient being in the multiverse, comes to earth simply to insult you and make your life completely unbearable.

I wish my computer was faster and could handle doing the archives better.

Granted--- your computer becomes too fast for mortal comprehension, and constantly skips ahead of what you intend for it to do, to 20 things later. --Its seeming errors cause you to believe it's beyond repair, and in a fit of rage you break it.

--
I wish for vacation time.

You lose your job! Congrats! Unlimited vacation!

I wish that I could seduce the hunky pool boy with the outrageously hot body

Granted

You seduce the hunky pool boy with the outrageously hot body.  Its a night of wild passion and unbridled sex.  You find yourself doing things you've never even contemplated before.  Finally, after hours you fall asleep in his muscular arms.  When you next wake up you find yourself on a slab of concrete inside a windowless dirt floored room.  A single sour of light dimly fills the room.  The light bulb hangs by a cord from an old outlet, directly in the center of the room and slowly sways in a small circle from the rotation of the Earth.  When you try to move you find that you can't.  Nothing is restraining you, your muscles simply don't respond. As your eyes scan the room they fall on a beaten marionette of a clown, sitting on an old black and white video screen.  The television flickers on and Jigsaw appears.

I wish that was better.

Granted! It was better! I liked it! However your wish falls flat due to the fact that your senario isn't really a worst case senario for me...in fact it kinda sound like it's about to get better for me!! Fun times...I hope he puts me on the rack or some sort of other kinky torture device...ooo maybe he could....

(Vixcis wanders off thinking horrible thoughts)

I wish I had a puppy!

Granted.

You have a puppy. It's the sickeningly cute kind. A teenager from down the street, who had just turned 16, sped down the road and ran over it.

I wish I owned the world happily.

Granted: You own a small coffee shop called "The World Happily" it does well for a month or two, and then you go bankrupt. Sad times.

--
I wish for a winning lottery ticket.

Granted,

You gain a lottery ticket, but a day after the lottery begins.

I wish to have a puppy, a alive one, one I'll live with in peace and love it can not die of old age.

Granted. You get a puppy that cannot die of old age.

As you were backing out of your driveway, your dog was right in the line of fire. You see him just in time to slam on your brakes, to avoid hitting the dog that cannot die of old age that you love very much. But before you could call him to you, he gets hit by a drunk driver, then backed up over for good measure.

I wish I could cook better than Emeril.

Granted-- Emeril contracts a strange disease that diminishes all his motor function over the course of two weeks. He becomes a living vegetable, and a terrible cook.

--
I wish I had semi-phenomenal nearly cosmic powers.

Granted

You become the Harold for Galactus.  An omnipotent cosmic being who must sustain himself on the life force of planets.  It is your mission to be a mindless drone and to seek out these planets for your master.  Due to his experience with the Silver Surfer, Galactus has developed the ability to control his pawns completely, however, due to this the Power Cosmic isn't bestowed upon his Harold any longer.  Instead he simply gives you a ship to fly through space in, and your powers are meager semi-phenomenal things..  So while you have semi-phenomenal nearly cosmic powers you have no will of your own, and are nothing more than a mindless extension of Galactus himself.  Now go get me something to eat.

Wishes she got that right.

Granted-- You get it right, Discreet has semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic powers! And the free will to use them! And why not throw immortality in there for the fun of it.

--
If there is a god, I wish we were on a first name, and friendly basis.

Granted: You and God are on a first name, friendly basis. You talk to him all the time, and he grows quite fond of you. The Archangel, Michael gets jealous and comes down to earth. He goes up to you and slays you right then and there.

I wish I could travel around the world safely and happily.

Granted: Gaea is given valium and teleported to the center of every square mile on earth... covering the entire trip in .08 seconds.


I wish for fish.

Granted

Fish fall from the heavens.  Dozens of fish, upon dozens, all on your head.  You're buried under your fish.  And soon suffocate.

I wish for a crown.

Granted: Aribeth is given Presto's crown to shine it.



Wishes for Aribeth's Keyboard to break.

Granted

Presto gets to break Aribeth's keyboard.  In the meantime, she's smashing his modem and steals his keyboard

I wish Presto's raid started.

Granted:  Presto begins raiding and Aribeth forgets to steal his crown.


Wishes KAgura would make a royalty run too.

Granted

Kagura makes a royalty run and together, Aribeth and Kagura rack up 100s of posts leaving everyone else behind.

Wishes everyone's internet would go out but her own.

Granted: But RPOL goes down also.


Wishes he could had more time.

Granted

Time becomes an infinite loop.  There is no tomorrow, or yesterday, only now.  In which Presto constantly exists and only exists.  He has all the time he needs, and none.  He is now in the Twilight Zone, and he's stuck there.

I wish I had more time to write a better corruption.

Granted: But the time can only be spent watching really bad reality TV.

Wishes that she could get Royalty right now.

Granted

Kagura gets royalty right now.  But looses it a second later to Aribeth

Wishes Kagura had come on an hour later

Granted: But Presto blocked Aribeth during that hour.

I wish that Aribeth and Presto would go offline for an hour starting right now.

Granted

I need to go do something, but someone else comes on to block Kagura

I wish you all have fun without me

Granted: Presto and Aribeth both go off line only to be replaced with FL and Yoss who decide they want to make a royalty claim.


I wish that I could eat a twinkie tonite.

Granted: But the Twinkie turns out to be so old that you get vilely ill for a week.

I wish I had a laptop that worked.

Granted.

You have a working laptop, but your charger's line is chewed up by a puppy. Have fun with the limited life on your new, working laptop!

I wish I was an important icon for the world.

Granted: You're murdered in a gruesome fashion, that no one has ever seen before. The media eats it up, and you become the icon of the tragedy, the world remembers you as the girl who died. For a time.

---
I wish I was healthy.

Granted:  You receive health and immortality by killing a doctor, but now you are sentenced to life in prison.

I wish I could lift 1000 pounds.

Granted: Heath is able to lift 1000 pounds unfortunately the ability only lasts long enough to get the weight above his head and he is quickly crushed.


I wish I had a Buffalo Chicken Salad for lunch right now.

Granted: You get real, live buffaloes, along with still-clucking chickens in a large bowl for your lunch. Sadly they go tearing through your house and smash everything, and you forgot to get the Buffalo Insurance that guy was trying to sell you over the phone.


I wish I could fly by my own means, with no possibility of falling or going too fast to kill myself, along with the ability to breath in outer space should I get that far.

Granted-- You can fly, but only up. You fly off into outer space--which fortunately you can breath in. However, you're body is not built for the extreme cold, and with no ability to return, or withstand the difference in pressure, death is unavoidable, and nearly instantaneous.

--

I wish to be incorruptible.
This message was last edited by the player at 21:33, Thu 17 Mar 2011.

Granted: Unfortunately, "corruptible" is a German village translated corrupt-ville, and you are immediately descended upon by the the corrupted townsfolk of the place you now find yourself "in."

I wish I could move the moon.

Granted- Sadly you need to touch it to do so, and no one believes that you could do it, so they are not willing to help you get there.

--
I wish for a little slice of heaven.

Granted:  Only problem is that "Heaven" is a new wrestler for GLOW weighing over 300 pounds.

I wish I had an internal clock

Granted- You wake up on the surgeons slab, they give you the news that they some how left an alarm clock in you while you were unconscious. You're not even sure why you were getting surgery in the first place!


--
I wish I enjoyed paperwork.

Granted:  You enjoy paying by the job (pay-per-work) but soon find yourself flat broke because you've paid so many people to employ you.

I wish I could eat popcorn without it getting stuck in my teeth.

Granted- You lose all your teeth but one. Now it only gets stuck in your tooth.

--
I wish to understand every facet of human ability.

Granted: You understand the facets of human abilities, sadly your brain gets overloaded and the increased weight snaps your spinal cord, making you a quadriplegic.


I wish I could eat all the sugary, oily food I wanted without any health or financial repercussions.

Granted

You can eat all the sugary and oily food you want without any heal or financial repercussions.  Your death from a heart attack was completely hereditary.

I wish Grant didn't die.

Granted - You are the corpse of Einstein.

I wish I had people on ASWoT that I could babble at right now...

Granted:

People are on ASWOT right now.  Unfortunately, you're not.

I wish Santos would be on while I was on.

Granted.

Santos is on while you are on, but unfortunately, he, in real life, away, getting a sandwich as is computer is on the RPOL page.

I wish there was no more war.

Granted:

The day comes when there is no more war.  Unfortunately is was the day after the war to end all wars.  The world is a burnt husk in the middle of a nuclear winter.  The people who survived live in fallout shelters scattered across the world, in which the governments operate sadistic and inhumane experiments on the inhabitants and a computer rules the world.

I wish war changed.

Granted.

Wars are now fought with handheld nukes increasing the casualty rate by 10,000%

I wish Wots were usable again...

Granted:

Wots are usable again.  However, the Flea Market remains closed.


I wish Santos would stop stealing my crown.

Granted:


You become a zombie, your crown gets infested with maggots, and he no longer covets it.


I wish I had 100 wishes.    And a really good ice latte.

Granted: You get a really good ice latte, and a 100 wishes. Unfortunately, as it turns out "a wish" is the name of a really gnarsty ice latte, and your really good one, is somewhere in hidden in the mix. You must drink them all to find the good one.


--

I wish I didn't have to make a wish after corrupting someone else's wish.

Granted: you are barred from posting in the Cursed Genie Game

I wish I could go to the universe of One Piece

Granted

You go to the universe of One Piece, where they make you walk the plank, and feed you to shark faced people.

I wish that cartoon never existed.

Granted: it exists as a radio show instead

I wish that the fishmen would go **POOF**

Granted

Fishmen go poof, but only after you're in their stomach


I wish there were good cartoons on CN again.

Granted: CN only shows anime now

I wish I didn't go poof

Granted

You went BOOM instead


I wish EoJ came back as a Giant Turkey for Thanksgiving.

Granted: EoJ comes back on Thanksgiving as an eagle though...

I wish Santos made Dora the creepy explorer go away

Granted

Santos makes Dora the creepy explorer go away, into your bedroom, which quickly becomes the newest thing Dora explores.

I wish for infinite power, and a giant living space.

Granted: The powerv makes your head explode and you get to move to the underworld, which is significantly larger than your current living space

I wish Dora would move to the other side of the universe and never return

Granted

Dora moves to the other side of the Universe, but she visits EoJ frequently, staying for long periods of time because her home is so far away.

I wish I had a nice place in the Underworld to live, and that my head was back on perfectly normal, and that nothing was torturing me.  In fact, I was the ruler of the Underworld.  And made it a sexy place to live.

Wish granted. you are now the owner of an underground crime ring called 'Underworld' and are shot down by your second in command

i wish i had a white peddle!
This message was last edited by the player at 00:28, Sun 03 Apr 2011.

Granted:

You have a white peddle.  Its from a white bicycle.  Unfortunately, it isn't attached to the white bicycle, or any bicycle for that matter, or a car or anything else that has peddles.  You have a white 2 inch by 4 inch piece of plastic that is pretty much worthless.  Then someone bumps you and you drop it in the nearby sea where you watch it float for a moment until a giant shark comes up and eats it.  *shrugs* don't ask me sharks eat everything.  They're like goats of the sea, except with more teeth and scarier.


I wish EoJ was a stuffed turkey, cooked excellently with a side of cranberry sauce.

Wish Granted.

EoJ has been cooked beautifully, and the cranberry sauce is also excellent. Too bad they're both poisoned.

I wish I had an infinite amount of money, and that I didn't lose it somehow, and I still had things to spend it on, and I didn't die whilst having this money.

Granted:

You have an infinity amount of money.  All pesos.  However, the Mexican government's economy gets even worse, allowing the United States to annex Mexico and dissolve the peso, making it worthless.

I wish for infinite cosmic power.

Granted! You have the power of the infinite cosmos, you can expand to infinity! Infact you begin doing so. Unfortunately, your fleshy skin coating does not approve, and you splatter yourself across the cosmos. Very slowly. Eww..


----

I wish, more than anything, more than life, more than the moon, I wish, I wasn't so sleepy.

Granted:

You're never sleepy again.  Unfortunately, you can't sleep ever again, because you don't get sleepy.  However, your body continues to need sleep and you slowly go insane.  During a strong delusional state, you think you have wings and jump of the Empire State building.  A day later they're still scraping you off the pavement.

I wish I was a genie, free from my bottle/lamp/vase/prison.

Granted, unfortunately you are a cursed genie and all your wishes backfire in some way

---

we wish for a shrubbery! Ni! ni! ni! ni! ni!

Granted:

You get a shrub berry.  Its a useless shrub berry.  You can't eat it, can't juice it, its not poisonous, it isn't pretty or ugly, you can't squish it or play with it, and its not hard enough to throw.  But its what you wanted.  Have fun with your new form of berry.

I wish I remained masterless.

Granted--

You refuse to master anything, and thus remain mediocre for the rest of your life.

Alternatively, you refuse to have any master of any sort, including gravity, and float up into the eternal darkness, never to be seen again.


I wish for more talent than I deserve.

Granted
But all that "talent" makes you another justin beiber

I wish i was blind deaf senseless and mute

Granted, but you don't notice the difference. ;-)

I wish to help humanity.

Granted
But you end up killing every other creature on earth

I wish for a plain suger cookie

Granted--- you get a cookie made solely of sugar, no eggs or flour.


I wish to be a positive influence on the universe.

Granted but you upset the fragile balance and destroy the universe.

I wish I was an awesome superhero.

Granted, you become superman. Unfortunately, you do so just in time to get shot with a kryptonite bulllet, and killed.

I wish I were awesomeness.

Granted, but you are now a word on a Scrabble board.

I wish for a pair of ferrets.

Granted but they team up to defeat you.

I wish I could bend reality to my will.

Granted!  Reality alters to reflect details in your will, but only takes effect when you die and your lawyer reads it.

I wish I could shapeshift.

Granted but you can only shapeshift into a slightly uglier version of yourself.

I wish I had a million posts!

Granted.  You now have a million posts and a spoon with which to dig the million post holes.  Good luck with that!

I wish that it was possible to truly have a nice day.

Granted but the possibility is just out of your reach.

I wish television shows were as easy to make as books.

Granted.  Now books also require an enormous amount of high paid production staff, sets, and advertising.  TV shows remain pretty much the same, except people watch it more now that books have gotten so expensive.

I wish I had a delicious, non-poisoned toasted sandwich right here, and the ability to eat it.

Granted. Too bad 'right here' is actually in a jail cell, and you don't have the keys. It is also just beyond your reach. And there is a hungry looking mouse on the other side. They sure do love toasted, cheesy sandwiches...

I wish my allergies would go away forever and I could enjoy life without them.

Granted
I remove your immune system,damage your brain and place you in a bubble.

"bah bah bah bah, candy bar !!!"

I wish to have an unlimited supply of wishes.
This message was last edited by the player at 22:39, Sat 14 May 2011.

Granted. Unfortunately, the genie commits suicide so, while you have unlimited wishes, there's no one to grant them for you.


I wish I had unlimited genies which would grant me all the wishes I could possibly ever think of.

Granted. You can no longer think, not that you were great at it before ;P.

I wish I knew what I should wish for.

Granted.  You knew what to wish for, but have since forgotten along with all of your other memories.  A spot has been prepared for you next to Grant.



I wish to be able to appreciate what I have and never need for wish fulfillment.

Granted
I make you remember at the moments in your life where everything just seemed perfect. Where you could not loose. And I loop those memories. During this time one would imagine you are appreciating all that you have. During this time you are not eating, drinking, sleeping. When relatives find you, you are dead. And the dead have no needs, not even for wishes.

I wish you would tell me the key to a happy life.

Granted. 'Me' quickly becomes the happiest man in the world.

I wish I wasn't stuck next to or near Grant.

Granted
I insert you into Grant. "Heads or Tails"

I wish the power of God was mine.

Granted. You have the power to not exist.

I wish I was on the opposite side of the world from Grant.

Granted
I place Grant on the side the world,directly opposite an active volcano.


I wish you believed in God.

Granted. I become god and believe in myself.

I wish I had a wish so I could wish for a wish.

The Ginie breaks out his chalk Board.

wish/wiSH/
Verb: Feel or express a strong desire or hope for something that is not easily attainable; want something that cannot or probably will not happen: "we wished for peace".
Noun: A desire or hope for something to happen

I wish I had a wish so I could wish for a wish.


GRANTED
He turns you into a statue, then he turns you immortal,but does not allow you to move or speak. Then pleases a ring of wishes on your stone fingers that can only be activated by your voice. Then he makes your gaze upon the ring for eternity.


I wish you would write I wish 1000 times and number each I wish.

Granted. But then i erased it.

I wish for infinite poooooower with no consequences.

Granted
You join Grant in the mental ward. If you where aware of the real world, you would hear the admitting attendants saying you are in a catatonic state. But you can't. You exist in a world of your imagination. For in the real world there are always consequences.



I wish for biological immortality.

Granted, but your dreams hopes self fullfilling and all that gets old and dies ,metaforicly, you are now an empty husk in sorts, im sure the rats could use you as a sorta home thing >.>

I wish the rats were gone

Granted.
The genie becomes a pied piper. Fingering the holes on his flute, his mysterious melody commands all the rats in the world to come too him. May billions die in the ocean, trying to make the voyage across the oceans. Many billions survive and scurry toward him. But at the last moment, the genie fingers slightly different holes, darker ones and the rats change direction and scurry up your pant leg packing themselves....
oh this is a pg thread.




I wish I was a rich man, so i could Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
This message was last edited by the player at 06:51, Tue 17 May 2011.

Mice wear pants? Well anyways,
Granted, but every single cent of your money is conterfeit, thus you end up in jail for the greatest amount of counterfeit money ever to be known.

I wish I was bigger then the tallest building. the name excapse me T.T

Granted
You grow taller and taller. Expanding so large that your feet crush buildings. Growing large still till you head breaches the atmosphere, into outer space.

pop


I wish I had super powers.

Granted. You now have the superpower of turning into a pile of lime jell-o. Congratulations.

I wish I for a pet duck.
This message was last edited by the player at 04:44, Wed 18 May 2011.

Granted.  But it won't get off your head.

I wish for the power of telekinesis.

granted

but the cost of using that power is your head exploding.


I wish for the genie from I dream of Jeanie in her prime, with powers and personality included.

Granted, but she really does not like you
I wish I could create any monster demon etc that I wanted and they where COMPLETELY under my control for as long as I wanted with no cost on any level of costing

Granted but it exists in your imagination.



I wish everyone loved me.

Granted, but now you have to deal with a mouse on your shoulder for the rest of your life
I wish your shoulder was more comphy

granted it becomes a warm mouth that swallows the mouse. It does not struggle because it is so comfy. it doesn't even realize the O2 is running out. It just yawns, closes its eyes and sleeps the eternal sleep.


I wish I was brittney spear's bra.

Granted, you also manage to catch every desiese know to man kind

I wish I had better grammer T.T

Granted. Unfortunately, you still are unable to spell 'grammar'.

I wish for nothing.

Granted, you now have nothing, no air no ground to stand on you dont even have a body anymore

I wish for everything!

granted
You have the sun the moon the stars and even immortality for a few moments so you can feel the pain, but then after eons pass you have death.


I wish for the best luck ever !!!!

Granted, but a massiive meteaor crashes into the earth killing everything but you, too bad the earth didnt have such good luck

I wish for the power to change to anything

Granted
But the power is to change to anything that any creature wants most. Unfortunately a cat was walking by and wanted a mouse for a meals. R.I.P. Sir Micester.


I wish I had the power to read peoples minds.

Granted- But you have to actually crack the binding before you can read them. That is, you have to cut into the human brain and sift through it to read it. The process almost always kills the subject, so you rarely get anything out of it. That is, if you ever figure out you have the ability.


I wish I knew where the receipt to my lawnmower was.

Granted. The waranty ran out 3 years ago.

I wish for phenominal cosmic power!(easy one)

Granted
But due to you not being able to pay the phenominal cosmic power bill. The Earth has been repossessed.

I wish I had a loving pet.

Granted, but your pet hates everything else, including food, and starves to death

I wish for the power to teleport anywhere that I want to

granted
But you must think about everything you want to be teleported, on your first voyage you visualized yourself and teleported your skin and clothes away from your insides.


I wish for 1 penny.

Granted, you get a penny, but its stll one cent, nearly usless

I wish I owned a sucsessful oil company

Granted
You own BP, are sued out of business and imprisoned for willful negligence. In prison Bubba say "I ain't never been with a rat before ...hehe"


I wish to be six feet 4 inches.

I aint no rat T.T
Granted you be come 6ft 4, but so does every on elses, so, your still a small blue smurf

I wish jail cells where more comphy, and that bubba was gone *snap snap* quickly now, or ima be a mouse pancake

Not granted jails are always uncomfortable for hackers.

Wait, wha? wheres my corrupted wish T.T and wheres your wish to be corrupted -.-?

Don't like my computer being invaded.

You... ok rip?

Not really I want to know how you know me.

?.? What? I dont know you, aside from you being ripvantinkle here, did some one hack your account or something?

Mind if I interject? Is there a problem here?

tht t.t is my first and last name. I am wonderinf how he got that info.

Oh... T.T is just a way to show crying; imagine if the tops of the T's were eyes and the lines going down were tears. It's very anime-ish. No worries, it just happens to be your initials. :)

lol
uggg
I feel stupid as hell.

I was like what the @<$%.

Well I got a lot of antispyware programs not and my system is almost complete updated.


Sorry Micester.


I wish this whole even would go away. lol oy

Granted: The whole world becomes un-even and slowly hurtles into the sun because of it's not rotational axis.


I wish the sun wasn't so hot and wouldn't kill us when we hit it.

Granted


The sun cools instantly and the Earth flash freezes. All Life exists in permanent suspended animation and perpetual torment for being that the bodies are not allowed to die, the souls are not allow to escape.



I wish I was 17 again.

Granted but it's too cold and everyone freezes to death.

I wish that console gaming will survive forever.

That's what I get for not refreshing....

Granted but you end up going back to your regular age at a climatic moment.

I wish I could multitask perfectly.

Granted
You clone yourself, unfortunately one of your clones happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and murders someone. Don't worry they escape, unfortunately DNA evidence proves it was you.




I wish I knew everything.

Lol, no problem XD
Granted, you know every thing, but the amount of knolage makes your brain swell till it is squised in side you skull

I still wish bubba was gone XD

lol thanks

granted
 Tyrone kills bubba and you find he is a worst abuser of prisoners than Bubba. At least bubba gave you a kiss on the cheek when he was done. Tyrone just liked to share and stare at you while you cry.




I wish for a ten cheese pizza that taste better than anything I have ever eaten.

Granted, but a mouse looking strangly familiar steals all the cheese leavingbjust the plaine ole crust

I wish for the greatest lemonade ever to be made

Granted.  A lemonade so spectacular, that it makes the gods weep with joy, has been made.  Unfortunately, you cannot have any.

I wish that the A Serious Waste of Time posters remember me.

Granted, they remember you, for about two seconds that is. Now then... wait do we know you >;)

I wish that I could build a series of mouse holes to get out of my opec induced prison. RIOT!

Granted:

You lead the riot the prisoners agree cheer and obey. The push past you throwing themselves on guards and push other prisoners into doorways to wedge them open. IT looks like a successful riot,, freedom is at hand the lift you on their shoulders to carry the great mouse mastermind out clunk you are knock out and a fall to the ground as the last prisoner leaves. When you are wake to see the doors are closed and you area lone in prison, just you and Tyrone and a gang of his buddies, "They grab you and you hear Tyrone say "You know I couldn't leave my baby."


I wish to have the power to predict the future

granted, but you can only look two seconds into the future

I wish I could run at the speed of light

Granted
You do and burn up from friction..poof!!!



I wish to see you burning up from friction in a perpetual loop.

Granted, but in a freak acident with only abou 0.001% of happening, I trip into you at lightspeed, and you also catch on fire

I wish I was 8 ft tall

Granted

But I enlarge the rest of the universe the same proportion so you notice no difference.


I wish you who tell me the meaning of life ,the universe and everything.

Granted but at the time you are asleep and don't hear it.

I wish I could sift through the ASWoT archives with ease.

Granted, but more post then ever start to happen, so quickly that you cant keep up

i wish for the best computer

granted
Cables shoot out your mouth and your hands fuse to a keyboard. You don't notice any difference except for the disfigurement. (Think about it)


I wish to be immune to all physical harm.

Granted but you are attacked by a Mind Flayer!

I wish no critically acclaimed show ever went off air and that there was no executive meddling.

Granted they even had the dead change where you watch the corpses of the cast of Beverly hill billies, be corpses. Fun fun fun


I wish I was the smartest man in the world.

Granted you are Stephen Hawking without the wheel chair.



I wish for no more Zombies

Grant for no more zombies, first there has to be zombies. So Puff the world is fill with zombies, after the eat all the people. I will make them go away.

I wish to be a vampire.

Granted but you are a vampire from Twilight!

I wish the Twilight Saga books never existed.

Granted
I remove the common ancestor between you and the twilight saga creator and now you both don't exist.


I wish I was the strongest man in  the world.

Granted but a stronger man from another world comes and kills you.

I wish I could move at super speed.

Granted you move sooo fast you in a brick wall and splatter everywhere


i wish for more games

Grant

The speed is super slow. Now ice ages pass before your eye lid blinks once.


I wish I owned a house.

Granted but they are all terrible.

I wish my wishes would not be corrupted.

Granted but with no real wish there is no wish



wish you didnt make that wish

Granted but it happens in the future.

I wish time travel was possible.

granted but you did




I wish for a harem

Granted but its filled with animals.



I wish for every animal part

Granted but it's filled with ugly 80 year old men.

I wish I was a genius.

Granted
 you know so much you head explodes. I mean literally dude...clean that gunk up.


I wish I was always right

Granted but the shortcut was left.

I wish I understood what went on in the afterlife.

grant
I kill you.


I wish there was no hell.

Granted but you still have the underworld to live with.

I wish I could make a webcomic update by staring at it.

grant
But as a side effect you poop your pants after it does.




I wish I knew what a human arm tasted like.

Granted but it is disgusting and it haunts you for the rest of your life.

I wish that Nintendo will win every console war to come.

Granted

I turns into a terminator, destroys every console, then the rest of humanity.



I wish I could time travel

Granted, but every time you time travel you are instantly transported back

I wish I had the greatest weapon in the universe!

Grant

Its a universe destroying bomb. with on button to activate it. Push it if you dare.



I wish all my enemies would die.

granted but with your unconsciously self loathing the wish recognizes you as the enemy too.




i wish for the impossible.

Granted but it is now possible.

I wish I was a prince of the universe!

granted your now on highlander




i wish for peace of the world.

Granted but that means all humans must die first.

I wish for a happy ending to my wish.

Granted
A male diseased stinking masseuse wish unwashed toilet hands gives you one.

[5 blank lines suppressed]

I wish to see jioan face as he is granted his wish. lol

Granted, but upon looking at his face you turn to stone

I wish for a spaceship armada under my control

Granted.
In your bathtub, I place 4 tiny toy tug boats. :Lead on Admiral!"


I wish money grew on trees.

Granted. Unfortunately, those trees only grow on planets circling binary stars.

I wish some of the older players would return to ASWoT for an extended period of time.

granted
Timing traveling brain eating zombies of the older players return. Unfortunately the have no internet access but remember you do. knock knock "...can we have brains... while we post...YUM?"


Granted I wish.
There where really fairies.

Granted, but they end up doing some weird stuff with humans, get your mind outa the gutter' and create Doctor Kagura

I wish I had an Intergalactic Super ship

Granted:
You get the ship, it has an improbability drive, a wave motion cannon, robots like c3po and r2do, Everything you could imagine. Well everything but a life support system, unfortunately you only find this  out after level the orbit of the earth.



I wish I had a house made of candy.

Granted but the local children end up eating it all.

I wish I could freeze and unfreeze time at will.

Granted
But unfortunately when you froze time, you and your will got frozen too.



I wish I had a pair of xray glasses.

Granted but they are very fragile and break.

I wish I had good food to eat right now.

Granted you become a masochistic cannibal and eat yourself.


I wish I had a ufo

Granted but it soon crashes.

I wish I had the ability to alter the fabric of reality.

granted you make yourself a blanket with all things related to your realty.




i wish for another state

Grant
I put you in the state of Death


I wish I had a car with an improbability drive.

granted the car doesn't run due to lack of a gas tank



i wish for everyone to speak one language

Granted
the Language is gunese...everyone is afraid to talk







I wish I was king of the world.

Granted but you are overthrown shortly after the coronation.

I wish I could force myself to exert effort effortlessly.

Granted
A mirror universe you shows up and kills to, both are you he is just from a parallel universe that is opposite in the one way, that killing is considered an effortless act (ow ow my head --- make a Gennie stretch and work for it)


I wish every imaginary creature where real.

Granted but the dragons eat you.

I wish Nostalgia Critic would make more videos!

Granted
He makes a slasher film star him and you as the victim.


I wish my farts smelled like roses.

Granted but it creeps everyone out.

I wish I wish I could control the weather.

grant
you wish you could control the weather, but you can't



1-I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a '64 Impala

Granted but you can only get one wish so you explode fore breaking the ancient genie code.

I wish I could break the ancient genie code.

Granted  but the you explode for attempting the same as above.

I wish adam never ate that fruit in the garden of eden.

Granted but history changed and none of us ever existed.

I wish I had an apple right now.

Granted
But it is poisoned



I wish poison didn't harm me.

Granted. You have the apple in your hand, but then a monkey steals it before you can do anything with it.

I wish to be the protector of Peace and Justice. Superhero style. :D

Granted
Peace is a hooker and Justice is her pick....da na na



Granted
I wish I owned rpol

Granted but you have no control over what goes on.

I wish the economy had regenerative abilities.

Granted
I has instant regeneration of debt.


I wish I was smart enough to goto bed, so I would be tired at work tonight.

Granted but you end up sleeping through your work!

I wish I had an endless supply of soda.

granted but its all warm.




i wish for comet to hit my clients house.

Granted but he gains superpowers due to the comet!

I wish I had invulnerability.

granted but for some reason you cant move.



i wish for a wish that only a wish could grant.

Granted but you can't tell what happened.

I wish everyone won the lottery!

granted but everyone only gets 1 cent



i wish for a population of 2

Granted but neither member is you.

I wish the sun cared about how it affected the temperature.

its already does.


i wish the sun was more empathic towards each of us.

Granted and the following occurs:
http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=...o_One_is_Thirsty.gif

I wish Perry Bible Fellowship would continue.

granted but really only time well tell.



i wish the testing part of this game would go away.

Granted but the game itself is now gone as well.

I wish there were more people to post with.

granted but the are AFK


i wish people listened to me.

Granted but they do not respond.

I wish I had more time to post before I went out to eat lunch.

granted but you would have to do both



i wish you would post as much.

Granted but it is only for a short time.

I wish I knew the secret to life, the universe, and everything.

granted but now your dead.


i wish for sunflowers

Granted, but now they're wilted.

I wish for a brand new car! ...That was won on the Price Is Right and virtually indestructable.

granted but someone else rides off in it.



i wish for a key to every door.

Granted but you don't have a key for every lock.

I wish I could shapeshift.

Granted

but what the genie neglected to tell you was only once. But having DD's and a ding dong ain't all bad is it?


I wish I was spiderman

Granted but you don't have web shooters.

I wish technology was reliable.

Granted-- technology will reliably become outdated.

I wish I didn't have to work odd hours to have this job. e_e

Granted but you have to work every even hour.

I wish Firefly would have 100 excellent seasons.

Granted
The air the day after you die.


I wish There was a Star Trek,Firefly, Babylon 5, sliders, Buck Rogers, Dr Wgo Red Dwarf, Blakes 7, Star Wars cross over movie.

Granted but the collected awesomeness blinds anyone who sees it.

I wish Robert Jordan came back to life to finish WoT the way it was meant to be finished.

Granted, but he was killed by Chris Redfield before he could.

I wish Brian Sanderson just wrote more like Robert Jordan.

Granted but he doesn't become famous for Mistborn and is not chosen to finish the series.

I wish I had prepared more for today's D&D session.

Granted and it turns into a gurps game.



wish there was only one game and it was made in Germany.

Granted but this game is absolutely terrible!

I wish comic books were cheaper.

granted but now they have graphics black and white.




i wish we all had a 3rd eye.

Granted but it grants no vision.

I wish there was no such thing as executive meddling.

Granted now there is just meddling



i wish it was truly power of the people.

Granted but the people misuse their power.

I wish for a benevolent monarch.

Granted but when he dies his Malevolent son takes over



i wish for metallic eyes

granted. your eyes are now made of lead.

I wish I had a Dr. Pepper in a cup

Granted-- you have A Dr. Pepper served to you in a used men's athletic cup.


I wish to win the lottery.

granted. you win the Mexican lottery

I wish Grant were here

Granted but he now only lurks.

I wish people would post more often.

Granted, people post more often on 4Chan

I wish more people would post in the 'Over 9000 Things I'm No Longer Permitted To Do In An RP' thread

Granted but you can't view the posts.

I wish I had a perfect memory.

Granted, you can remember anything and everything about useless things

Granted

I wish that you had made a wish.

Granted. I made a death wish

I wish I hadn't forgotten to make that death wish

Granted but it creates an endless paradox.

I wish that more people contributed positively to society.

Granted. There are now several thousand more jobs available in China

I wish you were more specific with your wishes
This message was last edited by the player at 16:34, Tue 07 June 2011.

granted but the details blow you away


i wish that .... would mean something

Granted but now you have to read the whole thing.

I wish that Firefly would receive an additional 10 seasons with every episode written and directed by someone who can achieve a quality equal to or greater than the quality of the first season and that theses seasons will include the original actors and have budget 100 times as great as that of the first season and that they will be aired on every channel giving opportunity for anyone who wants to watch can and that they will be released for free download that can found on the internet which everyone will have.

granted. ... now means the same as the middle finger

I wish you'd never made that wish

Granted but they had to change the name of the show.



i wish i had my every own Tv channel. that showed what i wanted to see.

Granted. You now have access to the Playboy channel

I wish I could gain Royalty again

Granted but there is nobody around to admire you having it.

I wish nobody posts between me and EoJs last post.

Granted. Zuldan is now nobody

granted....


i wish for everything but nothing.

Granted. The cops will be along in 2 minutes to collect everything you stole and arrest you.

I wish I was a cop

Granted but you are killed on the job.

I wish I was a PI.

Granted but you never get a case.

I wish I was a doctor.

Granted, but you're sued for malpractice every time you take on a patient

Granted?

I wish I knew if this game would ever leave testing.
This message was last edited by the player at 23:24, Tue 07 June 2011.

Granted. It leaves testing and gets deleted.

I wish I had seen the Star Wars Christmas Special

Granted but you go insane watching it.

I wish I had never seen the Star Wars Christmas Special.

Granted. There'll be a 72 hour marathon of it on every channel you get starting tomorrow.

I wish I had 999,999,999,999 dollars of real U.S. currency that were not in any way illegally obtained or created.

Granted but armageddon occurs and currency is worthless.

I wish I could have a quicker wit.

Granted. Your wit moves so fast that it processes things far faster than the rest of your brain can handle, and you are driven to insanity.

I wish I would just stop posting stupidly long responses to simple simple games here in A Serious Waste of Time, commonly referred to by its players as "ASWoT"...damn it there I go again!

Granted but now your posts are so short nobody can understand them.

I wish my vacation would come sooner.

Granted. Your Vacation starts six months ago.

I wish I had a good ASoIaF game to play right now...

Granted but it only lasts a few seconds.

I wish I had access to every roleplaying game ever.

granted, but your characters are all killed off within a week

I wish I had a pepperoni and mushroom pizza

Granted but it is expired and you get sick.

I wish I had a million posts.

Granted, but you're site-banned for hacking RPoL

I wish I wasn't sick

Granted but now you have to go to work.

I wish I didn't have to work.

Granted. You've just been fired.

I wish I could become a video game tester

Granted but you must work long grueling hours.

I wish the new Halo game would have some originality.

Granted. Master Chief now has an afro.

I wish I had a lawyer to deal with this game

Granted but they are a terrible lawyer.

I wish I had a Wii U with Pikmin 3.

You get a WiiU with Picman 3. Honestly, there is nothing worse to receive.

I want a muffin.

You find yourself in Soviet Russia where the muffin eats you!

I wish I had a pet badger.

Granted, but the badger buries you in a hole.

I wish for the next Jim Butcher Dresden book.

Granted but it's terrible.

I wish every piece of fiction lived up to its maximum potential.

Granted every book of fiction is revered like the bible. thousands of cults are formed and world wide wars take place over who's fiction is right.


I wish i could bend steel.

Granted, but you don't gain the power to determine if it'll shatter catastrophically. Have fun with your shrapnel.

I wish I had a hat. A cool one. That could be worn with sunglasses.

Granted but it is stolen just as you put it on.

I wish I had a shiny new car that never crashed.

granted but unfortunately the car is a gas hog and the doors never open.


i wish for the prefect game.