Happy birthday.  Not so happy for the pony, who upon being wished into existence, is immediately engulfed in flames set off by the birthday candles.

I wish for an appropriate amount of high quality barbecue sauce to go with the freshly roasted birthday pony.

A perfect amount of the highest quality barbecue sauce appears before you next to the freshly roasted pony. Flavors mingling and melding in to a whirlpool of perfection, where upon tasting it heightens the natural meatiness and flavors of whatever it is put on. This wonderful sauce also varies from person to person, being slightly sweeter or slightly more acidic as it shifts with each palette. However, after finishing the perfect meal you find yourself yearning and desiring more sauce. But because it was only enough for the roasted pony, you are left forever depressed from never being able to touch the epiphanic nirvana for the rest of your days.

I wish to graduate college finally.

You graduate.  But then you realize that having a college degree only lets you apply for more jobs, all people really care about is experience.  And without a portfolio that you've spent the last four years building, without relevant interning experience every summer between semesters, and good references from those places you interned at, and references from teachers who happily say that you're the best they had in their class and such a pleasure to work with, your degree means about as much as the pasta I'm eating right now.  Cheap, goes down easy, and sort of leaves you feeling a little hungry at the end of dinner.  Plus your degree doesn't really involve any math, so about the only thing you could possibly do with it is to teach and you don't really like kids all that much anyway.

I wish I had a nice meal to eat.

You are given the nicest, possibly the most wonderful meal you have ever had to eat. It is everything you are craving at that moment in time, and every single bite of it is enough to make your mouth water as you dive in for more. Your taste-buds sing and your stomach sighs contently at the end of the scrumptious feast.

But, unfortunately, every meal after that has something horribly wrong with it. Whether that be it tastes rotten, has a surprise insect hidden in what would otherwise be a delicacy, or you just have a hard time getting the food in your mouth rather than everywhere else (e.g. your shirt and the walls), something is bound to go awry at your meal times.



I wish to read all of the books in the entire world.

Granted, but, no matter how good the book or the ending is, you will always be unsatisfied with the ending.

I wish that school would end already.

Classes end with an evacuation due to a nearby nuclear accident. You, however, are still required to attend in order to qualify for graduation.

I wish I was a better dancer.

You are a better dancer, in fact the best dancer ever known to man kind. You are met with fame, and fortune only known to those who are at the pinnacle and peak of their craft. You are able to turn down World Tours and Television shows merely because you don't want to do them. But through doing this you have found yourself to be alone on that mountain top, incredibly and desperately alone. Having focused on and perfected this skill set you have no one to share it with, and no one who wants to share it with you.

I wish I had no college debt.

Granted, the college debt is paid off - but with a credit card, your credit card, which now has an interest rate of 50% compounded daily.

I wish Phoenix gave his wish

I'm sorry, I don't understand that. River Phoenix? What was suggested?

Whoops, guess I was a little too tired when I wrote that XD

I wish for a wonderful 8 hours of sleep tonight

You awaken refreshed and ready to  start the new day. It is a little bit strange because as you leave the bedroom, there is no one present in the place where you live, even though you might've expected to see friends or family having breakfast. As you leave your dwelling, there is no traffic on the street,  no sounds at all. The stores are open but there's no one there in them. Increasingly frantic you run through the streets, coming to the final realization that you're completely and absolutely alone in the world. Every other human being, every animal, every sound, every broadcast, they have all vanished.

I wish I had never read the short story "The Monkey's Paw", by W.W. Jacobs.
This message was last edited by the player at 16:09, Wed 10 Aug 2016.

You did not read it because you experienced it. Not having read the story, you have no idea why you are covered in dirt and knocking on your front door but no one will let you in.

I wish the genie wasn't such a sadist.

Granted. The Genie reveals that it was once human itself. It wished to be a Genie, intending to use its powers for the greater good, only to find that it is now contractually obligated to grant all future wishes in ways that are ironic and contrary to their original intent.

I wish the intentions of my wishes to be used against me in a way that is both ironic and highly unpleasant.

The genie grants your wish by granting your wish by granting your wish by granting your wish by granting your wish by granting your wish by granting your... You appear to be stuck in a wish-fulfillment loop. This particular paradox is functionally similar to a Time Travel Loop or an If Then software loop but more annoying and makes much less sense.

I wish I had a better PC concept to submit to the next Star Trek game.

The genie grants your wish and you submit your half-Vulcan, half-Betazoid time-traveling parasite infected character..and IT GETS IN. You meet a bunch of other equally amazing characters with really awesome and active players. You guys meet and chat and come up with awesome ways about how your time traveler knows their extra-dimensional refugee and everyone is excited. And yet the GM remains silent. You guys start doing some light RP in the OOC lounge to burn off some of that excitement. And yet the GM remains silent. You all start casually poking and prodding the GM, checking his status and see he is active elsewhere. You send him a friendly rMail reminder. Then the GM deletes the game without warning and tells you to never bug him again.


I wish I could find a better job!

You find the best job possible. However, the only applicants they are accepting are 20-somethings with 30+ years experience.

I wish I had a sandwich.

Did someone order a sand witch?

I wish this cat would stop scratching the couch.

Poor dead cat.

I wish that my wishes were more interesting.

They are! But only to those who have passed into the next life.

I wish I had more free time in the evenings.

lucky for you! You just got fired! Also your house is being reposessed!

I wish for a cookie

The genie gives you a cookie. Huh, that seemed to work out well for change. Suddenly, a fat man in red crawls out of the fireplace and fights you for that cookie.

I wish I had a thing which rhymes with orange.

Three men dressed in lime-green tuxedos break into your house. They install a metal door hinge on your bathroom door. No matter what you do, you cannot stop the door hinge from squealing loudly every time you open or close the door, which is every time you need to use the bathroom. In just a few days, you are a ragged, weeping mess of anxiety and exhaustion.

I wish our planet would put more emphasis on returning humans to outer space.

the UN aborts the planet into the cosmos, with no resources, we become extinct shortly after

I wanna iguana!

You turn into someone's pet iguana.

I wish for world peace.