Granted.

You find it, then die from a stampeding elephant before being able to use it.

I wish to be immortal.

Granted: But you age faster than most people, you just don't die, and you experience all the weaknesses of the elderly. You just don't die.


--
I wish for a brilliant grilled cheese recipe.

Granted.

You learn the recipe, but you get your hands chopped off and your tongue removed, so no one will ever be able to eat it.

I wish to be indestructible.

Granted: Your body is compressed to the point that on a molecular level every iota of your being to compact. Your density is beyond anything man has seen, and can even attempt at harming. Unfortunately you died in the process.


--

I wish for the funds and acceptance to graduate school.

Granted. Sadly, it's in China, and you have no means of getting there, nor learning the native tongue.

I wish to be a tiger.

You're a tiger, you were born in 1926, the year of the tiger--sadly you die of old age immediately.

I wish for a spoon.

Granted. You wake up laying in bed with a man holding you from behind.

I wish for a new dog.

Granted, you get a hotdog, made earlier that day.

I wish for good health.

You have some of the greatest health ever seen, but everyone else dies as a major outbreak of Swine flu is released.

I want EA to care about its fans.

Granted: EA cares about its fans. Too much, they go bankrupt and have to close down due to donating money to "fans"

--
I wish for an easy job with a high salary---that I can keep until I choose.

Granted. The job is too easy, and you die of boredom.

I wish i was a good artist.

Granted

You are an amazing artist.  Everything you draw comes to life.  Literally.  You make the mistake of drawing Sci-Fi and the alien monster from Vendarr 7 abuses you with its tentacles before eating you.

I wish I could clone myself

(Oh god no)

Granted, but the clones rebel and kill you. They are then taken by the government and never seen again.

I wish I automatically knew the right response to anything someone asked me.

Granted

You automatically know the correct response to anything anyone asks you.  However, in exchange you become deaf and can't hear what anyone is asking you.

I wish for a not very creative corruption to my wish.
This message was last edited by the player at 20:30, Fri 11 Mar 2011.

Granted. Nothing happens.

I wish for infinate power.

Granted,

Your power so incredible it would destroy the universe with you used it.

I wish to have peace through out our planet and the galaxy.

(how exactly was that a corrupted wish?  You gave me exactly what I wished for?)

Granted.

Peace reigns on our planet and throughout the galaxy.  The era of peace lasts exactly 72 hours.  The U.S. government spent billions of dollars trying to predict when the sun would die.  Unfortunately, one of their mathematicians miscarried a decimal point and their equation presented a faulty answer.  The Earth's sun died exactly 72 hours after Murray's wish for galactic peace.  All life on Earth died because they hadn't made contact with life on other planets yet.  Peace continued, however the rest of the Galaxy never knew it all originated from a once blue planet called Earth.

I wish Goflux eternal happiness
This message was last edited by the player at 21:15, Fri 11 Mar 2011.

Goflux is eternally happy however his happiness stems from eating small children and he is eventually hunted down and killed by an angry mob.

I wish I didn't have to go to work just now.

Granted, your workplace is hit by a nuclear bomb. There are, obviously, no survivors. This causes WWIII, wiping out the majority of the world.

I wish i was awesome.

Granted

You are awesome.  However, 30 seconds after you become awesome, awesome becomes the new lame.  Sorry.

I wish Goflux wasn't lame.

Granted.

Goflux dies. Now his lameness is past-tense.

I wish that I could own a Porsche...

Granted. You could, but you don't.

I wish Ari would stop insulting me.

Granted. Instead of Aribeth insulting you, every other living thing on the planet earth, and every other sentient being in the multiverse, comes to earth simply to insult you and make your life completely unbearable.

I wish my computer was faster and could handle doing the archives better.

Granted--- your computer becomes too fast for mortal comprehension, and constantly skips ahead of what you intend for it to do, to 20 things later. --Its seeming errors cause you to believe it's beyond repair, and in a fit of rage you break it.

--
I wish for vacation time.

You lose your job! Congrats! Unlimited vacation!

I wish that I could seduce the hunky pool boy with the outrageously hot body