Ren's voice came over the intercom.

"We ready Mei-Mei?"

Charlie sat against the wall of the engine room, legs to her chest and arms crossed over her knees, face buried in the sleeves.  She had been keeping it together for the past few days, holding face around the crew and even Walton.  Now, however, away from everyone...it was her chance to collect.  She wasn't crying, of course...it was a rare occasion that Charlie cried, and she already had a few days ago.  No, this was just decompression.

Her head perked up as Ren's voice came over the intercomm.  She slid up onto her knees, clearing her throat before she pressed the button, speaking up.  "We've been more'n ready, Bear.  Jus'be doin' me a favour'n take 'er out nice'n slow, don't be breakin' anythin' on th'ship.  I ain't gonna be havin' time to fix every little thing gone breakin' on th'ship."  She tried to put the cheer back into her voice as she spoke, even forcing the smile.  If anyone was going to know she was putting false enthusiasm into her voice, it would probably be Ren...but he had to fly the ship, so it simply meant that she didn't have to deal with that just yet.

Ren's answer was a gently yet teasing, "But mei-mei... you love it when I take off... you love working on the ship...  that's why I do it like that..."

Before she could answer, he'd shifted to the shipwide intercom announcing: "This is your pilot speaking."

The ships' engines throttled up slightly, enough to get a slightly lift.  before he continued.

 "We are about to take off for Athens, if you weren't planning on going there... Well, its too late as we are off the ground... eta 90 mintues."

Charlie's solitude broke finally as Kale's voice came over the intercomm, sounding throughout the room.  She sniffed, brushing her hair out of her face as she finally looked up from her knees, blinking as her eyes opened again.  She'd been drifting around somewhere, not quite asleep nor awake, her mind wandering as she had a chance to do anything but work.

However, Kale called for the crew in the cargo bay, and it wouldn't do right to not fall in.  Charlie slowly stood up, checking her reflection in the small mirror before she stepped out, getting most of the matted and greasy hair out of her face...


-------->To Cargo Bay

Rhaef stole into the engine, and was thankful that Charlie was not about - that would make this nearly, if not, impossible for him if she was. He removed the envelope from his pocket and set it where she would find easily, after he was gone.

Charlie stepped into the Engine Room, stretching her arms above her head as she walked, bare feet padding on the metal floor.  While she wanted to be of help and would do anything for the boat, it was always nice to hear that she was going to have a chance to relax.  Most of the time they were flying required her working, and most of the time on land ended in a rush and sometimes being fired at from a distance.  There was a neglected hammock that needed to be rest in, and a new stack of books that needed to be started on...maybe she could even have one done before they left, give it to the Professor and get an extra one to follow it up.

She stopped at the hammock, stretching her arms as straight as she could, feeling all her joints crack slightly through her body.  It was after a moment she looked down, seeing the envelope slipped on her stack of books.  Not something she left there, certainly, but how would it have found it's way here.  Strange.  Charlie picked it off the stack, sliding open the top with her thumbnail, the white paper quickly turning black from the grease on her hands.

"I wish ah didn' hafta do this...ah wish th'was a better way."  Charlie's brow furrowed as she read the letter to herself, speaking it as she did.  "Charlie, ah had't leave.  I thought ah could outrun m'past, but it caught up w'me.  As Kale so...so elo-...so..."  She tried to sound out the word the way that the Professor had taught her, but the paper was already becoming blurry in her vision.  She sat down on the floor, crossing her legs and rubbing her eyes, putting a grey streak across her face.  She skipped ahead, still speaking it out to herself, voice shaking.

"N'matter what y'hear...ah did what ah did 'cause I loved'ya...an' needed t'get back t'you.  Ah-...ah..."  Charlie shook her head, wiping her eyes with the palm of her hands.  Her vision was swimming too much to try and read any more.  She was trying not to cry, biting her bottom lip as it quivered, crunching up the letter in a fist.

He was gone.  He left.

Charlie crawled across the floor, finding a corner between the engine and the wall, curling up into a ball with her legs against her chest and arms over her head.  It was hard when people died and left, but she was always ready for it.  There always could be the day that someone didn't come back from a job.  This, however, was something completely different.  She wasn't ready for someone choosing to leave.  She wasn't ready for someone to decide to leave her.  It was over.


The universe was a vast place filled with hundreds of planets and trillions of lives.  At this exact moment, however, Charlie was all alone...

[From Destiny: Cargo Bay]

Kale peeked his head inside the engine room, at first glance he thought she wasnt there - which was odd, he'd seen her go in there just a few minutes ago ... then he noticed the mechanic huddled up in the corner. His heart sank - she was crying.  Something awful had happened and he had a feeling he knew what ...

"Charlie ..." he said quietly as he approached her, he came to stand right beside her and then squatted down.  on instinct he placed a protective hand on her shoulder.  His jaw was firm though - if this meant what he thought it meant ...

"Cap'n, I..."  She raised her head, her face blotchy from crying, tears still rolling down her face.  "Ah'm...what's...y're here 'fer..."  She tried to speak through the sobs, wiping a shaky hand across her face.  The grease on her cheeks had lines running through it, where the tears had washed the grime down under her chin.  She was always a bit of a mess, but there was no hiding that she'd been crying for a while.

"Ah'm...ah tried...y'...can'ya...here, lemme..."  She took a deep breath, picking up Rhaef's note and smoothing it out over one of her legs, having nearly ripped it in her grief.  She turned it over, putting her finger under the word "eloquently," showing it to him.  "Ah'd...ah was tryin' t'...ah was gonna call, n'tell...ah'm just..."  She choked out another sob, sniffing and looking away for a second.  "...ah can't read all'f it.  Rhaef, he-...damn'm, he's usin' all sortsa....stupid words that ah can't read'n..."  It was all she could do to keep from bursting fully into tears again, unable to make eye contact with Kale, knowing she'll break down fully if she does...

Kale sank down onto his knee beside Charlie his brow wrinkling in some odd combination of confusion and anger and grief - one emotion bubbling to the surface just to be pushed back to the depths by another.  His hand actually shook slightly as he took the now slightly damp and tattered paper from Charlie's fingers.  It was Rhaef's handwriting alright, his eyes scanned the note - not really seeing it, not really reading it.  He had all he needed to know in the line "I had to leave".

Kale bit his lip almost hard enough to draw blood and his free hand curled into a tight fist.  "Eloquently ..." he said in quiet tones, "It says eloquently." It said "as Kale so eloquently reminded me, I am a monster".  This was his fault - he looked over at Charlie, at the tears in her eyes that were just threatening to break loose - that's my fault.

"I'm sorry Charlie ..." the thin paper fell from his hands and onto the metal floor - he watched it fall, drifting lazily - catching some invisible breeze that he could not feel, "I'm so sorry."

"Cap'n...ya, I..."  Her lip quivered again, and she started to cry again, tucking her head back against her knees.  Her whole body shook with the sobs, slightly rocking as she tried to fight the crying fit.  "No, nah, this's my fault, ah'm all t'blame Cap'n.  Ah did...ah did it, ah chased'm off."  She spoke quickly, coming out through her sobs.  It would be hard for most to make out what she was saying, but Kale had known Charlie for too long to not understand every word of it.

"Cap'n...Kale...ah chased'm off.  Ah did it.  Y'know, ah, ah-...ah tried, an' he was so nice t'me, an' I didn't tell'm to go'bout his own.  Ah...ah'm pretty sure ah loved'm, or-...no, ah do love'm.  He's all gone now 'cause f'it, y'know?  All ah had't do was tell'm that we're on th'ship, that it's not gonna happen, 'r maybe jus'be actin' like I wasn' inta it'r sumthin'."  She raised her head, looking back at the door and running the back of the sleeve over her eyes, sniffling.  "Th'night we were'll stuck on Osiris, y'know...th'cruise, an'we had all been in th'jail'n such...we all were thinkin' he was dead, 'cause th'note came 'cross th'wire 'bout it.  An' he came'n found me, an'I kissed'm, an'...an'now he's gone, 'cause'f me.  He's sayin' so right there."

Charlie pointed to one of the lines on the paper, turning it around to face Kale.  "No matter what you hear, I did what I did because I loved you..."

"Ah'm sorry, Cap'n...ah didn'mean t'do it..."

Kale couldn't stand to watch Charlie cry, he could feel something collapsing inside of him as he heard her sobs - but he couldn't look at her.  He couldn't bear too - that was until he addressed him.  Kale.  Not in two years of working together had Charlie ever called him nothing but Captain.  His eyes met hers and he knew that this was something that just might break her ... he didn't think about how it might break him.

He shook his head slowly from side to side as she began speaking, "No Charlie - don' you even think that - don' you ..." but she kept right on talking and soon Kale wasn't trying to stop her anymore - he was listening.  He'd always known that Charlie and Rhaef were close - hell the three of them had been together since the beginning ... but this was something new.  He hadn't known that she'd loved him. Love loved him.  "On Osiris ya ..." Kale muttered dumbly and then looked down at the paper where Charlie pointed.

He shook his head again, this wasn't Charlie's fault - but Kale had had no idea all the else that had been on Rhaef's mind.  He'd said some terrible things to him - about him not caring about nobody and no one.  But he had loved - he'd loved enough to not take the unneccessary risk of endangering them all.  He'd known that he couldn't trust anyone out there - but not to not hurt him, but to not hurt the crew.  Rhaef had been right, he'd been right all along.  You couldn't trust no one.  This was his way of making that statement.  Rhaef would leave the ship to save the crew and here Kale was throwin' them to the wolves time and time again.  It ended now.

He placed both hand on Charlie's shoulders as they shook with her sobs and he looked her directly in the eye, "You listen ta me Charlie ... this ain't yer fault, you hear me?  This ain't even remotely yer fault." he looked at her hard, wanting her to understand, hoping that she did, "You can't be blamed fer nothin' but doin' what you do best - lovin' ... an' I was wrong 'bout Rhaef.  He loved too an' that ain't never a bad thing ..." he looked down for a moment and then back up at her, "an' now he's gone ... so ya know what we're gonna do?  We're gonna keep flyin' - cause that's what we got, an' that's what he wanted.  We're gonna keep breatin' in an' out.  We're gonna do the job an' move on cause we can." he looked seriously at Charlie, "Cause you can.  But I need ya with me on this Charlie - I need ya hear with me."

Charlie let out a heaving sigh as she listened to Kale's words, trying to focus on him through her blurry vision as he spoke.  His lips were speaking, but the sounds were muffled by her heart pounding in her ears, aching like it was breaking...hell, it was breaking.  She tried to shake away the blurriness, managing eye contact as he spoke, biting her lower lip to keep it from quivering and shaking as she drew in breath.

"Ah know.  She ain't done nothin' that calls 'fer us t'clip th'sails, Cap'n."  Charlie put a hand on the wall of the ship, inches of steel seperating them from the vacuum of space.  It was slightly warm from Charlie's body laying against it, but the cold was already beginning to seep from the outside back in.  "Ah just...ah'm not ready 'fer...ah'm just sorry.  Ah know yer sayin' that ah did nothin' wrong, an'maybe, but...ah jus' can't help but'ta be feelin' that, y'know...t'be feelin'."  She took in a deep breath, wiping her eyes again and looking back at the letter that was on the floor between them, lightly running a finger along the edge.  "Jus'...y'know, ah wasn'ready for it'll t'be endin' like't has.  Ah was always ready fer, y'know...y'all t'come back from a job, maybe carryin' one'r th'other, bullets'n knives, y'know.  He jus'...yeah."

"He wrote all th'bits fer th'rest'f th'crew.  They'd be gettin' t'read 'em, he'd best be havin' his goodbyes n'all."  Charlie picked up the letter, tearing it off at where it begins directly addressing Kale.  "Not th'whole thing, though.  This's mine, this part n'all.  Y'can give th'rest to them t'read..."  She held the remainder of the letter to Kale, wiping at her tears with her other arm.

Kale nodded his head slowly, his arms dropping to his sides as though he didn't have enough strength left to hold them up, "None 'o us were expectin' or ready fer this.  But life ain't exactly askin' us what we're all ready for." he stood up then, casting a look down at Charlie.  He felt like crying then - for a moment ... and then the moment passed, "You go feelin' enough fer the both 'o us, will ya?"  Cause I can't feel nothin' ... he thought, and the thought was startling to him - because it was true.

He reached down and grabbed the slip of paper from Charlie after she'd torn off her half - if she hadn't done it he would have.  Those words were for her.  He gave her once last look because he had no more words ... and then he turned.  It was time for business - and from now on, he'd do it right.

[To Destiny: Cargo Bay]

"Yeah, Cap'n...ah'll be here.  Jus'...not ready t'face th'world fer a bit, y'know?  If'n y'need me t'fire up th'ship, jus'...jus'be callin' an'all, kay?"  Charlie let out a sigh as she looked at the sheet of paper, sniffling again.  Eloquently.  She folded it in half and slid it into her overalls, sliding back against the wall and closing her eyes tightly, crossing her arms against her chest.  Her heart hurt like it was going to explode, and after all that had happened, she wasn't sure if it was actually going to or not...

[From Destiny: Cargo Bay]

Ren reached the door of the engine room and knocked, "Mei Mei, are you okay? Can I come in?" He said loud enough to be heard.
This message was last edited by the GM at 18:05, Mon 24 July 2006.

Charlie had been crying long enough, to the point where her eyes hurt, and she had phased out of reality.  She was curled up in a half-fetal position on the floor, trying to keep herself together as her world seemed to fall apart.  She'd been replaying memories in her head, both good and bad, in a semi-catatonic state trying to make sense of things.  She loved Destiny, but she found herself suddenly wishing they were somewhere where she could get far away.  Someplace where she could land, find the stars, feel the world.  Just to feel something other than cold steel and her aching heart.

Ren's knocking on the engine room door brought her back to reality, and she surfaced back into the world, moving for the first time in an hour or two.  "Yeah, ah'm...hold on, ah'm comin'."  Her voice cracked as she spoke, something other than crying making it's way out of her mouth.  She slid her hands onto the floor, slowly getting up, tucking the note into her pocket.  Her arms were freezing as well as her feet for one of the few times, but she wasn't going to lace up a pair of boots.  Instead, she found an old brown leather coat that used to belong to her dad, sliding it on and running her arms through the sleeves.  It was cold, but her body would warm it up.

After she wiped off her cheeks and re-smeared the grime on her face, she opened the door, leaning against the side as she looked at Ren.  "Baby Bear...y'r not wi'tha wife, ah'd think that with us all bein' parked'n pointed, y'd be...y'know, there."  She spoke like she was tired, as the immediate grief had boiled into a simmering depression.  The usual smile was gone, but the edges of her mouth still slightly turned up...maybe just from habit, who knows.

Ren looked at her, it'd been evident she'd been crying, and in the back of his mind, in that place you could not reach but you knew was there, a part of him starting piecing things together. "You know I don't fool around when the others are on the job, Charlie. And Kale asked me to look in on you anyway? What's wrong, Mei Mei? At no point in trying to hide the fact that you've been crying."

"No point, ah'm sure."  She nodded, looking back into the engine room.  "Jus'...stuff, Bear.  Ah'm gonna be fine, up'n dandy when ah'm needed t'be.  Jus' workin' a lil' sadness outta th'way.  Give'n a day'r two, an' ah'll be right's rain, y'know?"  Charlie looked up at Ren, almost slightly pleading with her eyes.  Please don't make me tell the story again.

"You sure, Mei Mei?" Ren asked wanting to give Charlie the benefit of the doubt, but also concerned about her. "You decide you want to talk, you know where to find me, okay?" Ren said, wrapping her in a brotherly hug.

Charlie hugged Ren back, sighing against his chest, her head slightly shaking.  "Ah know, ah know...look, ah'm just...ah'm sure y'got most'f th'story, an' what'cha didn't get y'd figure out right quick.  Ah'm just not wantin' t'think about it anymore, it's jus'...causin' me heartache'n such, y'know."  She squeezed Ren tightly again, then slipping out of the hug.  "Ah'm jus' gonna do some work'n th'engine, y'know...get my mind offa things, get'm dirty an'the like.  Maybe find some sorta peace'n all'f it."

"Fair enough, Charlie, you need me, you let me know, okay?" Ren added, knowing that she would open up, in her own time, if she chose to.

"Yeah, ah know, bear.  Ah just need...y'know, nothin'."  There were things in this world that Charlie needed, but she felt like she was a million miles away from every single one of them.  Either way.  "Jus' use th'comm if'n you're needin' anythin', kay?"  She gave a last nod to Ren, a bit of a polite smile as she closed the door to the engine room again, setting her head against the door and closing her eyes.  It was almost as if she were beginning to hate Rhaef.  She was so sure of how she felt for him, and she knew how he felt for her...no one had ever hurt her like this.  No one had ever cut her this deeply, left her this wounded all alone.  Not even the people she'd known who'd died had hurt her this badly.  Then again, she'd known Rhaef since....well, what felt like forever.

She shook her head, shaking off the feeling and pulling a spot wrench out of her toolbox, dropping to a crouch as she pulled the grated flooring off of the base deck, making a hole big enough for her to slide in and get under the rotating engine.  There wasn't much to be done except tune up, to make sure everything was tight and in place.  In truth, as the depression had taken more of her mind, she began to feel the need to simply hit something...

Charlie laid on her back under the engine, not really doing much of anything...she'd slipped into the enclosed space, which would have made most people uncomfortable, but she found oddly soothing.  The hum of the ship, the warmth, all of it was wonderful and could begin to pull her out of the blackest moods.  She heard the comm chatter begin, looking up from where she was under the floor, trying to focus on what was being said...bad men?  What the hell is that supposed to mean?

She was just pulling herself out of the hole as she heard Ren's message...stay out of sight.  Well, she had been under the floor, and that was a good start.  Was something attacking?  Was something on the ship?  Charlie's hand instinctively tightened on the grip of the wrench, half-in and half-out of the hole, watching the door and unconsciously holding her breath...

Ren reached the other engine room, and pounded on the door. "Charlie, it's Ren. The bad guys are dead, but it looks like they did something to the engine out here, we need your help."

Charlie's head perked up as she heard Ren's voice, slowly climbing out fot he floor she'd made in the grating.  The bad guys are dead...less and less things are settled without violence these days, weren't they?  Her bare feet found the cold floor, slowly walking across the room with the wrench still in her hand, opening the door part of the way and casting a look at Ren as well as behind him.  She trusted that he spoke right, and that whatever was happening was gone...but there was no telling.

"They're all gone, an' it's safe'ta come outta here'n...yeah?"  Charlie looked back at Ren, biting her lower lip for a moment.  "You've checked th'rest of th'ship n'all, right?  Ah mean, dun'want t'be runnin'bout an'gettin' all sortsa calm if we're gonna be gettin' attacked 'gain."  She took a step out, looking over at the door to engine room 2.  "Go check'n make sure all's clear, kay?  Jus'...make us all feelin' all more'f a bit safe n'all..."


------->to Engine Room 2--->