Re: The Yawning Portal Tavern
She rolls her eyes. "All the stories? That'd be Durnan. I don't know how, but it seems he's never forgotten a single tale anyone's told him about Undermountain in, what, seventy years? Longer than I've been around, at least.
"Let's see. What's the funniest tale I've heard? Well, there's one that didn't happen all at once. Took these guys a week to figure it all out, and then they laughed about it for a month. Y'see, they was chasin' a vampire -- we keep 'em out of the city, so when one turns up there's always a ruckus -- and it ran down the well into Undermountain.
"Anyway, these heroes go chasin' after it, barely stopping to pay Durnan the entry fee. Didn't even bother with the rope, just jumped right down. Guess they had magic or somethin' to keep 'em from goin' splat at the bottom. They get down there, and this here vampire's nowhere to be seen.
"So, they start lookin' around, and first room they get to, they see this big ol' rat runnin' away. Everyone knows vampires can turn into rats, so they go tearin' off after it. They get to the next room, and it ain't there, but an ettin was.
"They beat up the ettin -- never said how -- and go prowlin' around, and see that rat again in one of the halls. SO, off they go again, chasin' this thing at top speed.
"Long story short, they were down in Undermountain for a week, killin' monsters, pickin' up loot, and runnin' pell-mell after this rat every time they saw it. They finally managed to catch it after a tenday, and sure enough, it was a normal old rat.
"So, they go pokin' around a little more, and find out that some other group had cornered the vampire. Found its remains, and enough holy water and stakes to start your own shrine. So they came up here and told everyone how they led this vampire to its doom, and brought the dead rat as proof." She giggles. "They was so busy laughing about the whole thing, they ended up tellin' the whole story to Oghma and everyone."