You come out of your vat wet and messy and gooey.  You are a clone. You have been decanted.  And you have been sent to the White Empty Square Room.  You arrive at the WESR, eager to see what the Great Computer has as an assignment for you.  It is sure to be something good.  Everything the Computer does is good.

The WESR is an empty room.  It is white.  And it is square.  There is one door leading in and no door leading out -- unless of course you count the door leading in as also a door that leads out, but the Computer has not told you to do that yet.

OOC: This is where you can post in character as we start the game, since I see posting in the OOC forum has already begun, and that really should be in IC.  Just have your character enter the room and make discussions or introductions or whatever as we wait for all the players to join.  Then we will start.

Rob saunters in casually, grinning and singing the theme to a classic vidshow "Fresh Clone of Zone 4", "In Green Zone 3 cloned and raised, at the cafeteria is where I spent most of my days..." He arches his brow when he sees there's no other happy troubleshooters around. He shrugs and finds a place to polish his red rifle barrel and finishes singing, "...When a lazy troubleshooter couldn't do their chore, the Computer said, 'You're moving in with those clones in Zone 4!'...he surveyed the place and all the work in store... that's how he became the Fresh Clone of Zone 4."
This message was last edited by the player at 14:24, Sat 11 Jan 2014.

Vilfred wandered in, glancing at the ceiling almost immediately. She began mumbling under her breath, ignoring the other occupants of the room, and looking a little out of it - like she was daydreaming or something, except that her eyes flickered over each light in the ceiling as she mumbled something about one and two and other numbers.

PM

The standing around looking like you are busy doing the marvelous work the mighty Computer has assigned you is getting a little awkward.  There are six of you in the room, and you don't know what you are waiting for.

One of the white walls fades, and a screen projecting each of your faces appears. It basically states each of the duties you will be assigned to for the next mission and whether you are a registered mutant.  You learn the following about your assigned mandatory bonus duties:

Rob: Happiness Officer. 
Happiness Officer: Ensures everyone has fun on the mission; knows jokes, sings, leads citizen-instruction games; authorizes and administers biochemical supplements needed to guarantee a fun time is had by all.

Vilfred-R-UYT-1: Team Leader.
Team Leader: Offers guidance and sound advice to other team members; acts as tactical situation commander in combat.

Johnny-R-BOK-3: Loyalty Officer
Loyalty Officer: Discourages treasonous thoughts; looks for early warning signs of Commie sympathy.

Cop-R: Recording Officer. Registered Mutant.
Communications and Recording Officer: Chronicles the mission using advanced video technology, extremely sensitive microphones and gripping color commentary. Good lighting and innovative camera angles produce excellent training material and possibly even footage for popular evening vidshows like "Bake that Commie!"

Gene-R-STK Hygiene Officer
Hygiene Officer: Monitors the personal hygiene level of other team members, preventing poor morale, substandard performance and halitosis. CPU performance tracking statistics show [CLASSIFIED] percent of Troubleshooter missions fail due to poor hygiene.

Fletch-R-FRC: Equipment Guy.
Equipment Guy: Controls bots and vehicles assigned to the team; monitors each Troubleshooter's equipment maintenance level. The Equipment Guy is responsible for assigned mission equipment that gets lost, stolen or damaged.


A happy and loyal voice says in a voice that you would compare to John Lithgow (had you ever heard of such a person):

"Dear Loyal Clones.  You have been decanted for a reason.  Your reason is to serve the Computer and ensure that the Computer and all of Alpha Complex runs efficiently, cleanly, and loyally.

The Almighty Computer's suffering is your suffering.  Your suffering is not the Almighty Computer's suffering.  When you help the Computer, you help yourself.  You and your fellow Troubleshooters will have lots of fun rooting out Communist mutant traitors. The Computer says so.

I have been coded to give you a mission in our new and clinically-proven anti-treasonous mode of dissemination of information.  Each of you has been promoted to Red Clearance.  Congratulations on this mighty achievement that you did nothing to deserve.  Your activities will be monitored.

Stand by for briefing.

Thank you and have a very non-treasonous day."

The screen fades, and now you are waiting again.  But at least now you know you will have a mission, and you take solace in the fact that the Computer is your friend.

The Computer is your friend...

OOC: Please continue discussions in the square white room until your briefing starts.  I am doing a last doublechecking of two more potential players from the previous game.

Copper goes through his gear once, making sure everything is "just so" and pretending not to notice the other clones while doing his best to look casual. He hums the jaunty tune of "Our Friend The Computer Triumphs Over The Dastardly forces Of The Commie Mutants Once More" while doing his best to look happy and not at all anxious.

Then the translucent panel comes to life and everyone stands transfixed for a few moments while Our Friend The Computer takes precious time out of its' busy day to address us, lowly unworthy red citizens ... at least he hoped red citizens ... unless it was some commie plot to cause confusion within Alpha Complex. At the mention of the promotion to Red, Cop-R-Iss-1 jumps for joy and exclaims ... Happy Day !! Woo-hoo !! ... Then he wipes the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand, once more attempting to look calm, but inside still jumping for joy that the brand new crisp and clean jumpsuit was not some subversive commie ploy to get him in deep trouble for wearing the wrong clearance level clothing.

With glee on his face he pans the multicorder across the room ... Ooooo smile, hold that expression. This is gonna look great in my next report. YOU my friends are gonna be heros ! The look of wonder and joy at being informed that we are to be Troubleshooters for Our Friend The Computer, imagine the possibilities !

This message was last edited by the player at 21:41, Tue 14 Jan 2014.

Gene walks around and asks everyone to breathe in his face.  "We must make sure halitosis is not among our group," he warns.  "Bad breath is the root of Communism, as they say.  I will be checking up on you hourly.  We don't want to start the mission off on the wrong foot."

Fletch says, "I'm Fletch.  Here to inspect your equipment.  My motto is: DON'T BE A TOOL. LET ME INSPECT YOUR TOOL.  I'm still working on it.  We equipment guys are here to make sure all equipment in Alpha Complex is working properly, and that no one is abusing or misusing their equipment."

He will go around asking each individual to inspect their equipment before the group gets started on its first mission together.

"Eight." Vilfred looks at the occupants of the room. "Five. All five of you, I'm your team leader. Your one team leader. All five of you need to listen to me. I, your one team leader, will be in charge of this team of five."

As the screen projects the teams images and responsibilities on the wall, Johnny enthusiastically pulls out his brand new red writing pad and pen and starts scribbling down as many of the details that the wonderful Computer, in his grace and wisdom, chose to bestow on the group.  As the screen fades Johnny places the pen in his mouth and with his hand now free begins to flip back over the writing to be sure he had every detail down.

He was the LOYALTY OFFICER!!! And would not only ensure that everyone remained loyal but would remember every word that the wonderful computer bestowed upon them.

The Communications Officer spoke up first, followed by the Hygiene Officer, the Equipment Guy, and then their Team Leader!  It was so good to meet the trouble shooters that the Computer had matched him with!

"Fimph ba cmphooba aphynd oob oo bass puvviffns ben eem pophupiff ba buu ba puffaphwy foopid ba kupheet bem az wowal cmphooba phipiphens!"  Johnny mumbles enthusiastically around the pen in his mouth, grinning from ear to ear.  Then pausing and obviously thinking of something he looks at his red writing pad in order to record the thought and frowns.  The trouble shooter pats his shirt pockets and pants pocket before pulling out a (spare) pen from his pants.  After writing a quick sentence with a flourish and an exaggerated period he places his pen into his mouth. Beside the first.  And smiles.

A man with blue security clearance enters the room.  "Troubleshooters," he says, "this is a marvelous day for you.  The Computer has selected you for a most important mission.  Success in this mission will mean that each of you will be promoted to Orange clearance and qualify for a future mission in service of The Computer.  Failure will mean detailed anatomical analysis of each of your brains to determine what resulted in failure, followed by recycling--assuming, that is, that we can recover your bodies at all.  Do you have any questions?  No, of course you don't.  Follow me."

He walks out, leading you down a corridor and to a transport that will take you to the far side of Alpha Complex.  When you reach the area, the blue clearance man says, "You may call me Alfie Blue, and the Computer would like you to address your superiors as 'sir' to show you respect their position."

He is walking you along a bridge.  The bright interior lights around you illuminate a large underground center with cargo being brought in and out.  Alfie takes you down a long hall and to an operations room.  Computers flash.  Clones of mostly green clearance man the computers.  A large screen in the center of the control room is blank.  Above the screen is a running ticker that states:

DO NOT PANIC. THE COMPUTER HAS THE SITUATION UNDER CONTROL. THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND...

Alfie says, "This morning, we lost all contact with the Environmental Vector Experimentation sector of Alpha Complex.  We call it EVE."  He walks you over to a computer and says, "It is here in Phi Delta One Sector, which is also right there."  He points across the room at a metal door with a number of security locks that make you wonder what important things are locked up beyond it.

Alfie continues, "Your mission is to cross EVE to the control room and see why we have lost communications.  The mission is dangerous, which is why we are sending in some red clones who are expendable before we send in anyone who matters."

He says, "All you have to do is traverse the interior about 1 kilometer to the control station Alpha.  Go in the control station, find the transmission monitor, and make sure it has power and is switched to 'on.'  Then use the radio in the control station to call back here and we will let you know that it is safe to return."

He turns away from the computer and faces you directly. "Now let me tell you a little about Eve."

He tells you the following:

E.V.E. was created by the Computer to increase the general happiness of citizens in Alpha Complex and do general experimentation on living things, both plant and animal.  E.V.E is like a giant biodome or greenhouse.  It will appear like a lush forest with a control station at its center.  You will see the blinking light of its communication tower from almost anywhere within the dome.  The Computer in its wisdom decided that genetic research to improve clones would be in their best interest, so many variations of living creatures were experimented on within E.V.E. and no longer resemble their original state, including humans.

About one month ago, things went awry, through no fault of the Computer.  Rather, clone incompetence led to the escape of some of these creatures and the unfortunate demise of the clones who could not escape in time.

Those who did escape had been mutated and did not know what happened within E.V.E.  They mumbled something about loving the Computer before they had to be put out of their misery.  Therefore, the entire E.V.E. complex has been isolated from The Computer for the last month.

This remote control station had been trying to monitor and remedy the problem without entering E.V.E., but this morning, all communication was lost.  The Computer now has no idea what is happening within E.V.E. and cannot monitor actions within.


"And so," Alfie continues, "you can see why we need you to set up contact again and then immediately retreat here to the remote station so that those more informed than yourselves can solve the problems in service to The Computer.  That is all the information my clearance level is authorized to give you.  If you have any simple questions, I might be able to answer them.  Otherwise, I will see you to the door."

He walks you to the door, which three green clones are beginning to unlock, and he waits to see if you have any questions that will not insult his intelligence or invite him to give you too much information, since giving unauthorized information is considered treasonous.
This message was last edited by the GM at 18:15, Fri 17 Jan 2014.

Rob listens to the mission with a huge grin plastered on his face. He nods at the completion of the speech, "Yes, sir! We are happy to oblige!"

Fletch also smiles broadly:  "I regret that I have but one life to give in service to the Computer.  And the life of my clones.  That monitor will be turned on promptly, and we'll be back in time for lunch."

Copper pans the recorder over to his team mates... Ooooo. Hold THAT pose ! Trouble shooters going off to certain death ! THIS will be me a "Clonie" for sure ! ... I mean you two will look so heroic on the evening televids !

Gene says, "I'll make sure poor hygeine isn't the cause of any failures in this mission.  I hope you all packed your toothbrushes and your soap just in case these things out there can track by smell."

Copper happily pats his little day pack on his hip ... Yup, got my Y2400-Oralb-R Personal Hygiene Device right here. ... He snickers ... Not to be confused with an Y2400-Analb-R PHD. ... Standing by the door awaiting something worth while to happen Copper cracks his knuckles ... Snap ! ... loudly.

Then he moves away from the door. ... I'm going to stand over here and get the heroic first pictures of Alfie-B opening the door. Sort of a grand panoramic view of this historic mission into the depths of EVE. It will be magnificent. ... And if something jumps out of the door and eats him, I can sell the video to Marlin-V's Mutual of Alpha Complex's Wild Kingdom televid.

... Snap ! .... POP ! ... Still bored he craps his knuckles some more.
This message was last edited by the player at 00:35, Sat 18 Jan 2014.

"Whym wheby ba gow aws swow!" The trouble shooter smiles around his pens then crossing his eyes to look at the protruding tips he quickly pulls them out. "Uh, sorry.  As I was saying.  I'm ready to go as well! What an honor it is to be called to duty by our friend, the Computer!"

As the door is being opened, two more troubleshooters show up, apologizing for being late -- something about biological imperatives and getting lost in the halls.

They introduce themselves as Mark-R-HOM-1 and Justin-R-IME.  Mark is a happiness officer and Justin is an armed forces team leader.

The door locks appear to be stuck, so Alfie rolls his eyes and repeats the entire mission goals again.

Finally, a nearby operative says, "Got it," and the electronic locks on the huge steel door begin popping away one by one.

"Ah, here we go," Alfie says, but then the door refuses to open.  "What is it?" he asks, obviously annoyed now.

"The door is stuck.  We are retrieving a robot to open it."

"Fine," Alfie says, "just get on with it."

OOC: This gives you another moment or two to officially introduce the final two members of the group.

Vilfred looks at this Mark person, a second team leader, and counts him. And herself. 1-2. 2! Two team leaders? She scowled briefly; then broke into a smile. "I will lead while the team is awake, and you will lead while we are asleep." She nods. "We'll take shifts."

Gene-R-STK, while we are waiting, please submit your equipment to me for a Random Surprise Inspection. Equipment readiness will be necessary as we serve our Friend Computer!

 ... SNAP ! ...

Gene says, "Oh, this is going to be bad.  Very, very bad.  What if we get in there and we lose all contact with our friend, the Computer?  What if we meet the same fate as the others who were sent in and die without fulfilling our very important mission?  What if...?"  His voice trails off and he hands his equipment to Fletch.  "Check it," he says.  "Check it thoroughly.  Very, very thoroughly.  There's no telling what awful things might happen to us in there."

Then Gene says, "And while you're at it, please show me your mandatory daily enema log.  I must make sure you are colonically hygenic before doing something so awfully dangerous that it makes us...well, you know...in our pants."

Fletch gives Gene his log and begins to carefully inspect the equipment.
Don't worry madam, your equipment will be inspected with all due diligence.

With the door still jammed shut and several techs attempting to fix it AND a bot on the way ... Copper feels safe enough to get a little closer to the door ... He gets out his Multicorder and leans in ... very close ... actually sticking the camera into the mix ... HOLD THAT POSE !! This will be great for the extended feature.

Gene says, "Oh, no.  Do I really look like a woman?  Or is their something wrong with your vision and perception, Fletch?  I am very concerned that your lack of gender awareness could be caused by some failure to keep your eyes in a properly hygenic state.  Do you use eyewash regularly?"

Everyone watches as Gene pulls out his equipment one by one for inspection, putting it back in his pack after each one is inspected.  The equipment includes:

PERSONAL EQUIPMENT
Sunglasses
(2) Pyroxidine/Wakey-Wakey tabs
Teela-O pocket mirror
Comb, red
Calculator
Slide rule
Crowbar
Dental floss, 30m
(2) RED laser barrels

ASSIGNED EQUIPMENT
Laser pistol body (no barrel)
Red reflec armor
Series 1300 PDC
Hygiene Testing Kit
Instant Cleans-O-Spray

About this time, the robot arrives and begins opening the door with its superhuman robot strength that was obviously the gift of The Computer.

The door pushes open, and you see what was blocking it:  foliage.

Alfie says, "That's odd.  That foliage wasn't here when we lost video feed."

The foliage in question includes large vines covered with leaves and bushes sprouting from the ground in front of the door.

Having pushed aside the foliage, the door now opens onto -- not a beautiful garden but an absolute jungle.  The way is shrouded in all directions, and the walls of the building are covered in vines and plants.

A small robot about 3 feet tall stands in front of the door.  It has four spidery legs and an upper body roughly humanoid.  Its mouth does not move but is instead a permanent smile that lights up when it talks.

"Welcome, clones," it says in a perky, tremulous voice.  "EVE welcomes you to her garden. Shall I be your guide today?"

Alfie seems nervous at seeing the robot.  "Well, off with you now," he says, urging you to go out the door into the humid jungle beyond.

Happy to see a clone so quickly, Fletch smiles, thinking that this mission will be over soon. He opens his mouth to speak, then shuts it, wanting to give the team leaders their prerogative.

... SNAOP ! POP !! ...

Mark makes a squeaking sound at the sight of the untamed jungle beyond.  Then he gets control of himself.  "Let's just be happy we get to serve the Computer.  I'll even bet you a credit we live through this."

Copper looks into the multicoreder ... This is Cop-R-Iss-1 ... message to self ... Is unsanctioned gambling an allowable activity in this sector ... or am I recording a communistic sedition at it's roots. ... Then he turns the 'corder back to film the unknowing traitor in action.

Vilfred steps forward. "Robot, guide us to EVE's control station. Group, it shouldn't be far."
This message was last edited by the player at 22:00, Fri 24 Jan 2014.

Rob gawks in awe of the foliage, then smiles. It was so beautiful and mysterious. He happily marches out into the unknown, singing to himself, "C'mon get happy... wipe all your cares away...

Stepping into the foliage Johnny turns around looking disapprovingly at any others still outside.  "This is a mission given and sanctioned by our friend, the Computer.  As your Loyalty Officer, I feel I should remind you that any hesitance at obedience could be construed as disloyalty and therefore treason."

Gene says, "My only hesitancy is that I don't want to mess it up and do anything that won't be helpful to the Computer.  Are you saying you won't hesitate to do something that could ultimately be bad for the Computer?  Because that would be very, very bad.  Like termination of your entire line of clones bad.  Very, very pad."

As he'd strolled up, Justin hadn't done anything but stare sleepily at the other members of the team, wanting to be among the last to enter the biodome. When Johnny called him out on it, Justin looked him up and down, carefully, and finally spoke.

I'd like to be last in line
Because I remember this time
A robot went crazy
And clones that in vigilance were lazy
Were turned into bloody clone slime

And all over my clean clothes too...

Now don't think that I hate
But you're all better bait
Than I am, so please,
I ask on my knees,
That you file on through that gate

I'll be right behind you.