Alas, Hoal does not speak Dwarven as a second language.  Only knowing Elven... And Primordial, and Abyssal.  That's some bad math for what counts as 'second' Hoal.

  If it's anything worth sharing though, Hoal figures Jake might tell him when convenient.

  "Is there anything around here that would be a direct cause for concern?  I would not expect so many soldiers away from their usual parts if there was not something an Army was considered adequate force for." Well, idiocy in the chain of command aside.

  Hopefully it was not a Tarrasque riding a Lavos down through the atmosphere.

The commander grunts with a frown at Hoal's question.

"What's your business here?"

"Personal curiosity for myself," Jake chimes in, "I was headed for Helgabal anyway, and there was this earthquake and some smoke off in the distance in the direction I was going, so I had to investigate.  Met Hoal on the road and he volunteered to travel with me.  Safety in numbers and all that.

"When we heard the bugle call we figured the story we'd heard about some army killing everything in sight in the area might have a bit of truth to it, so we were going to go around when we heard a call for help.  You know the story from there."

"What's your business in Helgabal?"

"I left clan and family because because I got tired of their 'might makes right' philosophy with no room for using one's mind.  Or... I was exiled for learning magic.  Take your pick.  Either way, as I mentioned, I'm a healer and an engineer.  I heard folks there might have use for me.  My business was simply t find a job and make a living."

"Hmm."

The commander looks at Hoal waiting for his explanation.

  "Most of one's life spent in an Ioun affiliated monastery can lead to much knowledge.  But all knowledge found in such a manner is not tempered with experience.  The world can be a dangerous place, but a life all within the confines of those walls would be poorly spent."  Less dramatic than Jake, of course... Well, okay so even Haol can't escape melodrama in his backstory completely, but he got his out of the way much earlier.

  "At first Helgabal was merely just the path before me.  But when things fall from the sky and rend the earth, it can attract the attention of even the most oblivious.  It is no small assumption that many more you meet in the days to come, their business will be 'there is a giant hole, haven't you noticed'?"

"Hmm," the commander grunts, "Well any other curiosity seeker will be given the same answer: This is the sovereign territory of Damara.  This area is currently off limits to all unauthorized persons by order of the crown.  You well be escorted to the other side and asked to keep quiet about ever having been here.  That last bit will save you a great deal of hassle, believe me.  Good luck to you, and don't come back without a writ from the crown."

He handwaves and two guards stand at attention near Jake and Hoal.

"Take these two t..."

"SIR!  AN ARMY APPROACHES!" an excited soldier interrupts.

"Battle-stations, everyone!" the commander shouts before rushing off to the front lines.

"Uh...  what do we do with these two?" one guard asks.

"The man said battle stations," the other says, "We can't do that and escort them to the other side at the same time, can we?  So we take 'em to our post."

They indicate for Jake and Hoal to follow them.

  Now, see, if this were Eletor there would be no problem.  Multiple letters of Marque purchased at chargen have their uses...  Of course, most problems met at the Heroic Tier are not problems to Paragon characters anyways.

  Speaking of things Eletor is better at than Hoal, Perception.  You start to think you shouldn't have made a character without it jacked up when you miss the existence of a second army.  Of course, if it was an Elf army, they probably all have stealth training, even their wagons.

  Hoal follows along for the moment, commenting "While I try to be more realistic than cynical, it would not be realistic to expect any army would leave us alone merely because we are not part of this one."  3/4 ramble 1/4 single spoken sentence.  Yeah, we've hit our usual quota.

"Sounds realistic enough to me," Jake agrees, " Any guesses as to what kinda army we'll be seeing?  Goblin seems kindof unlikely considering the ones we met were fleeing from a knife.  Speaking of, any chance our weapons will be returned to us?"

"Likely not till you're escorted to the other side," one soldier speculates, "About the only other large civilization for a long way's round would be Uthmere.  They're a new alliance of Humans, Elves, and savage races.  Or so I've heard.  Pretty weird if you ask me.  And if they're crazy enough to make such an impossible alliance, they're crazy enough to try and take on Damara."

"What if it's a Dwarf army?"

"They'd be approaching from the other direction."

But the soldier looks worried at the thought of a Dwarf army.

  "Well, apparently Dwarves were taken so Uthmere was left with what they could get in the area."  Even if Hoal stole a sword, there likely would not be time to process it for swordmage casting... Oh course, at level 1 you can swordmage passably with your bare hands if you did not mind the poor weapon dice and proficiency.

  Sure, Hoal could just have his sword at any given moment.  But he would rather not flaunt the fact he could not be permanently disarmed to a not entirely benevolent army.

Jake snorts and tires to stifle a laugh at Hoal's comment.  The soldiers frown at him and he puts on a nervous grin.  An officer on horseback stops by and says, "New orders, men!  The enemy approaches from the East, about half a day's march!  They carry the banner of Uthmere!  We are to have our palisades completed before that time!  Now hop to it!"

He rides off down the line to spread the news.

"Building palisades would explain the lumberjack sounds we heard earlier," Jake comments, "I've got a couple ideas for speeding along construction, but I get the feeling they won't trust me around their explosives if they brought any."

  "If they had enough explosives to significantly speed the wood felling and rock clearing process, then they would have enough to be not insignificant in combat uses.  Even if they trusted you, the difficulty would be in convincing them to use those resources in such a fashion."

  It would be like if someone told you 'Guys guys! We can use our vespene gas to make the SCVs/Probes/Drones gather crystal faster!'...  Actually that might be tempting if you were Terran?

OOC Style: By coincidence, my saved and numbered Sinkhole IC posts are equal to my saved and numbered Fletch IC posts.
This message was last edited by the player at 11:10, Wed 11 Jan 2012.

"Mmm good point," Jake concedes, "I would argue that only a tiny amount would be needed if they bore a hole into the trunk and put the charge inside, but it's unlikely they'll be willing to even try as you pointed out.  As for combat use...  I wonder if charges could be hidden in the woods then detonated when the enemy drew close.  But how to ensure proper timing and maximum damage?"

He continues nervously,

"Listen to me, assuming they're even hostile.  Maybe they're here to lend a hand defending this place.  I hadn't heard any news of there being any animosity between Damara and Uthmere."

  "While that would be the more pleasant outcome, I feel they would have sent a messenger ahead of themselves to declare such intentions.  Unless they somehow think an army would be a pleasant surprise to show up with."

  No, no.  Those aircraft carriers were a surprise!  It's cool.

"Maybe they don't know that the Dwarves got here first?" Jake speculates, "I dunno.  I guess I'm just hoping for a non-violent outcome.  Or at least... one that doesn't involve overwhelming violence toward me."

  "Not wishing to die a sudden and brutal death is a common hope, I would not be surprised if it were one shared by our hosts." Don't you have anything better to do than instill paranoia and worry in a dwarf army?... Oh, come to think of it you probably don't right now.

"Or by the enemy!" a soldier interjects, "And if they hope to avoid a sudden brutal death, they'll not provoke us into a fight!"

Just then a messenger rushes by, spreading news: "Our enemy is not flesh and blood!  Our scouts report that they're some kinda living construct.  Walking suits of armor stuffed with straw or something."

"Warforged?!" Jake gasps in excitement, now head-to-toe covered in goosebumps, "Someone must have recovered the long lost technique for their creation!  I gotta find him and ask him how he did it!  Or her.  I wonder if she's pretty.  And available.  And interested in younger guys.  Unlikely.  But I'd kick myself if I didn't try."

"Oh, so you tow are enemy sympathizers after all," a soldier concludes, "Well that simplifies things.  Time to put you in holding to await trial.  This way."

The soldier points the way.  Jake goes where indicated, apparently too lost in his thoughts to object.

  "Warforged fall in battle just like any other being, though an army of them is a surprise after all this time."  They got hitpoints like anything else, though as ever NPC versions can be tricky (Oh hello, Dragonborn NPCs with free wings and five different resist 30s).

  Any comment about Jake's hopeful ramblings is sidelined by the intelligence showcased by the dwarf accuser.  "I can not decide if I should hope you take the role of prosecutor personally, or hope against it."  If they were stupid enough to come to such conclusions, they may be stupid enough to be talked out of them... Or too stupid to register a logical counterargument at all.

  "Highly professional of you to remain escorting unarmed prisoners, now a longer process than ever instead of rushing to give your enemies a brutal death."

  Really, at this point Hoal suspects that they would be accused of being spies or worse had they said even something like 'I like Turtles'.  Or in Hoal's, case, saying nothing at all.
This message was last edited by the player at 06:10, Tue 24 Jan 2012.

"Hopefully I won't have to deal with you two at all after this," the soldier answers.

Hoal and Jake are put inside a make-shift prison fashioned out of vertical wooden poles hammered into the ground and re-enforced with cross-beams nailed into the poles.  The ceiling is made of planks of wood.  The soldier wraps a chain around the door's outer pole and the adjacent door jamb pole then secures it with a padlock and key.  He then gives the key to an elderly jailer and heads back to his unit.

"Looks like a pretty durable cage," Jake comments.

  Hoal considers their 'cage', "It does seem more than sufficient for the average requirements."

  Of course, /STR secondary despite being Genasi min/max rig was not the average Swordmage build for some reason.  Even if Hoal refrained from smashing his way out with his <Metal>bare hands</Metal>, there was a good likelyhood of simply being able to pull the cage out of the ground.  Of course, this would lead to the inevitable problem of an irate Dwarven army that would drop everything to pursue a thus far harmless prisoner instead of fighting the sudden war they had been faced with.

  "How long do you suppose it shall be until either disaster or hastily put together farce trial opens the door for us?"

"Count yourselves lucky to be alive," the jailer comments, "Most commanders would just kill ya on sight fer trespassin.  Even a 'farse trial' is more than most get."

"Trespassing?" Jake asks, "On a trade road?  Killing traveling merchants can't be good for business."

The jailer shrugs.  "Big hole full of gems takes higher priority I suppose.  Folks get paranoid about looters when there's huge piles of loot to be had.  I'd wager a month's pay that the army approaching is after the loot and won't care who's borders it's in."

Jake turns to Hoal. "On that note.  Half a day is my guess."

  "I see.  That form of rushed paranoia is quite common alas.  It is the sort where superior officers have been known to do... Irrational things to their subbordtinates when discovering they haves revealed things like 'big hole full of Gems' to those who did not even know of their existence."

  After a pause, Hoal adds "although if your commander is as rational as you say, you have no more to worry about then we do."

"Seriously?" the guard asks with a chuckle, "You didn't know?  Well I suppose I am in trouble for letting the 'big secret' out, heh.  You make a good point.  The penalty for letting out national secrets is pretty steep.  And my commander isn't as rational as the one you ran into.  I guess if my little slip-up ever comes up, I'll just have to cover my backside by claiming you tried to blackmail me into releasing you, but I, like the good patriotic soldier I am, refused."

"He wasn't blackmailing you!" Jake says.

"I know.  I also know you both knew about the treasure, so it was easy enough to figure out he was just teasing."

"Well we did run into some folks fighting over a bag of treasure...  But didn't assume that the hole was full of gems."

"I'm no judge, so no need to plead your case to me."

  "I have little doubt his commander will pay no heed to a single word we say unless it can be twisted against us at this rate.  If we are not imprisoned or executed on a whim it will likely be due to them wanting us to deal with something deemed beneath the direct attention of dwarves for them."

OOC Style:  Hoal's about to break character and Void Assumption out of imprisonment to pull this Dwarf's undergarments completely over their head next post.
 <Spock>If manners has no tangible effect, then logically misbehavior is no worse an option.</spock>
This message was last edited by the player at 08:02, Sat 04 Feb 2012.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," the jailer answers,"The fact you're still alive is evidence that they have no proof that you're spies or thieves.  If anything, Commander Darthic will apologize for your being held in prison for so long.  Unless you do something crazy like use sarcasm at your hearing...

"'Not only am I a thief and a spy, but I also devour little Dwarf children in the name of Vecna.'  That's just askin' for trouble.

"Just stick to the truth.  Unless your guilty.  In which case, gods help ya.  'cause Darthic can smell a lie from a mile away."

Jake hrms, "Well we already talked to him and he was gunna have someone escort us to the other side to be sent on our way.  Now there's gunna be some kinda trial?"

The jailer looks skeptical.  "Wucha doin' in my prison if Darthic didn't find anything wrong with ya?"

Jake shrugs.  "Uh... timing?"

---

<Bones>So when your fire fighters can't put out a fire with water they switch to spraying fuel on the fire?  _{Crazy Vulcan logic.}</Bones>
This message was last edited by the player at 03:35, Wed 08 Feb 2012.

  "Jake wondered if whoever was responsible for the attacking forces was a cute girl.  While I myself said and did... absolutely nothing.  This apparently lead our accuser to assume we were both enemy sympathizers, and may have unfairly colored my views regarding the rest of this army."

OOC Style: Of course! If you make a fire into a giant explosion, then you get to the end results faster.  That and one explosion does less total damage than burning over many rounds, go figure.

The jailer stares blinking at Jake in bewilderment.

"How do you go from 'invading army of magical walking armor' to 'cute girl?'  Don't answer that.  The less you say, the better."

Jake blushes and glances bashfully at Hoal.

"Guess I owe you an apology for getting you into this mess.  Seems my views were unfairly favorable of the Dwarves."

  "If it is of any comfort, I do not hold you responsible for our current circumstances.  Even if I may not maintain that rational outlook regarding that through our stay."

  All these people are morons!  Clearly this is YOUR fault! Not the morons fault!  Yeah.

  "I do appreciate the sentiment of course."