Re: Party Time at the Archon
In reply to Comstock (msg #648):
"That's only half of my question. Its less about your history, and more about what is important to you. Why did you join T2M? Why have you stayed? For whom do you save the world and why? Why do you turn into an unstoppable juggernaut. Its all summed up in one question. Why do you do what you do?"
"For me, when I was growing up, it was always 'Why can't you be like your sister?'. Not to say my parents didn't love me or anything, but it was always about Cassandra. She was the 4.0 student, the president, prom queen, played the cello, dated the quarterback and so on and so forth. Smart, pretty, liked, I always thought she was a bit stuck up, but you can get away with arrogance when you never fail. Then there was me, middle of the road, scraping by at whatever I did, never really excelling. Then, even in the few area's I did, it wasn't a bit deal, Cass had already done it. She's off in New York these days I think, conquering the fashion industry, but we didn't talk even before I erupted."
There was something odd about the story to Solitaire, and it took her a moment to figure out what it was. The 'I'. It was as if she was putting herself into somebody elses story, taking credit for things someone else had done. She was Solitaire, not Jessica, but this story was, for the moment, about the woman she had been.
"I didn't spend much time at home growing up. I never really felt I fit in. It was my parents house, not my house, though I don't think I realized it then. I was always off getting into trouble with Alex. Her name was Alexia O'Conner, but everybody called her Alex, and she was my best friend since I was nine. She was the one with the ideas, the plans, the capers, the moxie. The sun to my shadow. We complimented each other perfectly. We were inseparable. "We had grand plans, we were going to save the rain forests, the wales, the zebra's, the kittens stuck in trees. We were going to save the world. "
Solitaire smiled at the memories, all the hell they had raised, the trouble they'd gotten into. They had known all the cops in the county by name, sometimes they'd even drop by the station when they weren't in trouble, just to be annoying, they'd been something like the mascots. Of course, her smile disappeared when her memories caught up to the present.
"She died when I was 19. So did I, Jessica, that is. We'd just moved into an apartment in Seattle near the Art Institute, classes started in three weeks. I'd been out of town for the weekend, I don't remember what I'd been doing, but I came home and the building had burned down. It was still smoking as I dug though the wreckage. Faulty wiring. All I found was her jacket, and a present. It was my birthday."
She reached a hand into her pocket and pulled out the scrap of leather, running a thumb along the singed edges.
"That's why the jacket was so important, it was all I had left, my talisman. When I wore it, I could feel her with me. Solitaire was born that day, even if she didn't have a name yet. For the next few years, I was wreck. I didn't make any friends but Jack Daniels, I didn't want any. They wouldn't be Alex. I just kept to myself and played cards. That's where I got the name. It felt right, I made it mine. Solitaire, a state of being, and the card game I would play. Fitting."
"When I erupted, I literally remade myself. To be honest, my personality back then was a facade. I thought if I couldn't bring back Alex, perhaps I could step into her shoes, channel her to give myself strength. Everything I did, for the longest time, I did for her, because we couldn't carry out our plans. I'd save the world for both of us. Somewhere along the line though, I's stopped pretending, I'd become who I was. I could finally let her go. Instead of living for two dead girls, I could live for myself, and just be Solitaire.
This message was last edited by the player at 05:39, Sat 16 Apr 2011.