Dark Fortress Adventure Re-awaken
"Luk Terran and the Five Green Apes
Once upon a time there was a Crazied boy called Luk Terran. He was on the way to see his Friend Occubus Gimel, when he decided to take a short cut through Hinterlands.
It wasn't long before Luk got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Smokey, but Smokey was nowhere to be found! Luk began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Smokey. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a Green ape dressed in a Black Cloak disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Luk.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed ape. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Luk reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from Apple, a house made from Candy, a house made from Pork, a house made from Salt, a house made from Rum and a house made from Mead.
Luk could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Luk looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Luk a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Smokey!
"Smokey!" shouted Luk. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Smokey back!" cried Luk.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Smokey out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, five Green apes rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Luk recognised the one in the Black Cloak that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Ape," said the witch.
"Good morning." The ape noticed Smokey. "Who is this?"
"That's Smokey," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Smokey would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the ape.
The witch shook her head. "Smokey is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Luk interrupted. "Smokey lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Ape ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Ape looked at the house made from Mead and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from Mead if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next ape. "I could eat two houses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Smokey."
Luk watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Smokey to Big Ape. He didn't think Smokey would like living with a Green ape, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other four apes watched while Big Ape put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Ape. "Just you watch!"
Big Ape pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Candy. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Ape started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of Candy, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Ape.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Ape never finished eating the front door made from Candy and Smokey remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Ape stepped up, and approached the house made from Pork.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Ape. "Just you watch!"
Average Ape pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Pork. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Ape started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an ape!" said Average Ape.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Ape, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the ape away under his arm.
Average Ape never finished eating the front door made from Pork and Smokey remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Ape stepped up, and approached the house made from Salt.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Ape. "Just you watch!"
Little Ape pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Salt. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Ape started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating Salt for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Ape into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Ape. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Ape was never seen again.
Little Ape never finished eating the front door made from Salt and Smokey remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Tiny Ape stepped up, and approached the house made from Rum.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Ape. "Just you watch!"
Tiny Ape pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Rum. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Ape's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of Rum, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.
"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Ape, and stomped off into the forest.
Tiny Ape never finished eating the front door made from Rum and Smokey remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Even-Tinier Ape stepped up, and approached the house made from Mead.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Ape. "Just you watch!"
Even-Tinier Ape pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Mead. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Suddenly, Even-Tinier Ape stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "Mead! Watch me eat all the Mead!"
"It looks as though the Mead are making you hyperactive," laughed the witch.
"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Ape. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.
Bong!
Even-Tinier Ape banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted.
Even-Tinier Ape never finished eating the front door made from Mead and Smokey remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Smokey."
"Not so fast," said Luk. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from Apple. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the apes. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Luk.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Smokey back."
Luk ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from Apple and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Luk sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Luk. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Luk's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from Apple. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Luk was down to the final piece of the door made from Apple. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Luk had eaten the entire front door of the house made from Apple.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Smokey or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Luk hurried over and grabbed Smokey, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Smokey was unharmed.
Luk thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Occubus. It was starting to get dark.
When Luk got to Occubus's house, his Friend threw his arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried Occubus. "You are very late."
As Luk described his day, he could tell that Occubus didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked Occubus.
Luk unwrapped a doorknob made from Candy. "Pudding!" he said.
Occubus almost fell off his chair.
The End
