Some days, you just can't win.   Posted by Igatho.Group: 0
Rhagar
 player, 48 posts
Tue 2 Aug 2016
at 06:00
Some days, you just can't win
  Oh good, simple questions are working.  He was honestly expecting to be screamed at, but not because she's a baby.

  "Who is Mistery Harry, and do you have a name? I am Rhagar."
Mittens
 GM, 2030 posts
Tue 2 Aug 2016
at 06:07
Some days, you just can't win
Mits hands over the vial to the baby.

"I'm thinking maybe I should spank Mr. Harry, then."

She looks at the guards with a shrug.  "Starting to look like ropes won't be needed after all?"

To Igatho, "My name is Mittens."
Igatho
 Player, 19 posts
 Baby Frost Giant
 Still impressionable
Tue 2 Aug 2016
at 06:11
Some days, you just can't win
Igatho says, "My name is Igatho." she gulps down the potion and her wounds heal up. She begins getting up and says, "I'll take you to Mister Harry!"

The guards stay ready with ropes, but cautiously follow Mitts and Igatho. The adventurers seem to have this well in hand.

Should everyone follow, Igatho points to some human who is pinned under an overturned cart. Nearby is a stuffed owlbear with its head ripped off.

This message was last edited by the player at 06:12, Tue 02 Aug 2016.

Rhagar
 player, 49 posts
Tue 2 Aug 2016
at 06:16
Some days, you just can't win
  "I think they will be needed for someone else, if they remain in a condition rope would do anything to."

  Oh, Traffic accidents are certainly much more subdued in these settings.  Well, unless you have Griffon taxis in crystal cities or somesuch, that can get messy.
Mittens
 GM, 2031 posts
Tue 2 Aug 2016
at 06:18
Some days, you just can't win
Mits squats next to the pinned human, checking if he's dead or not.

"Mister Harry, I presume?"

She'll ask that dead or not.
Igatho
 Player, 20 posts
 Baby Frost Giant
 Still impressionable
Tue 2 Aug 2016
at 06:23
Some days, you just can't win
The guy is struggling to push the cart off, but can not. "...yes. That giant flipped the cart on me and went on a rampage."

Igatho points to the owlbear plush (it is a very big plush, about 2 feet tall). "He ripped Beaky's head off!"
Rhagar
 player, 50 posts
Tue 2 Aug 2016
at 06:40
Some days, you just can't win
  "Why is the stuffed toy missing it's head?" He may not be a STR build, but he's going to at least try and help Harry not be crushed under a pile of wood.

  Hmm, no horses.  He expects there were never any in the first place.
Mittens
 GM, 2032 posts
Tue 2 Aug 2016
at 06:48
Some days, you just can't win
Mittens is trying to contain the jeers for the guy who clearly got what was coming to him.

"I can fix Beaky,"
she assures Igatho.

Tempting as it was to let him stay there, since Rhagar got started being helpful and stuff, Mits helps with the removing of the cart.  Even so, she asides to the guards.

"Dunno 'bout you, but I'm thinking provoking a frost giant in town prooobably constitutes reckless endangerment.  If you decide to confiscate his giant as a fine for his crime, I'll be happy to take it off your hands for the low low cost of the bounty due a hero for saving a town from a rampaging monster."
Igatho
 Player, 21 posts
 Baby Frost Giant
 Still impressionable
Wed 3 Aug 2016
at 02:27
Some days, you just can't win
The guards respond with, "Maybe a bit more investigation is in order, but for now, yeah. We're taking him and his stuff into custody. And..." they size up Igatho, who looks back at them sucking her thumb and sniffling. "Yeah... whatever that cost is, probably isn't as cheap as you make it out to be, ma'am. Here..." the guard writes a note. "Take this to the mayor and whatever he decides is between you and him."

Igatho then looks at Mittens and Rhagar.
Rhagar
 player, 51 posts
Wed 3 Aug 2016
at 03:54
Some days, you just can't win
   "Mittens, why do you want to be given a baby?  I thought you said you would hate to have one."   No Rhagar, she would hate the PROCESS of having a baby.  This is... Rather different circumstances.
Mittens
 GM, 2033 posts
Wed 3 Aug 2016
at 05:33
Some days, you just can't win
Mits is fully aware of her anti-motherhood preferences.  Doesn't stop plot from dropping badass children into her care.  Or is that Murphey?

"Temporary babysitter is acceptable levels of responsibility.  And gives me the excuse I need to adventure to frost giant land!  You know.  To do the right thing and return the kid to her home."

She looks to Igatho.  "I'll fix Beaky with magic.  And I won't do bad things to either of you.  So keep being good."

"Good" to be defined along the way.
Igatho
 Player, 22 posts
 Baby Frost Giant
 Still impressionable
Wed 3 Aug 2016
at 05:38
Some days, you just can't win
Igatho says, "Then fix Beaky."

Upon seeing Mittens perform her magic (literally), Igatho squeals with delight and dances before glomping the stuffed toy. "Beaky!"

Happy child is happy. She goes to pull Mittens in for hug times also and kisses her.

Happy guards are... incorrectly described. Relieved guards. We'll go with that.

When the mayor sees the papers from the guard, he shrugs and tosses Mittens and Rhagar 50 gold each. "According to my guard, you not only performed swiftly, but with care and concern for everyone present. Exemplary. If you ever want work from me, you have it."
Rhagar
 player, 52 posts
Wed 3 Aug 2016
at 05:48
Some days, you just can't win
  Murphy would prefer to keep the violent murderchildren away from Mittens because they tend to hurt Murphy more than they hurt them.

  "Thank you, Mayor." should he say hopefully they won't need them?
Mittens
 GM, 2034 posts
Wed 3 Aug 2016
at 05:54
Some days, you just can't win
Kitten giggles from baby kisses!  Now in air-freshener form.  Much more pleasant vampire repellent than garlic.

"You've got it!  Mittens is a hero, after all.  Speaking of, I'll be headed north to return this child to her family.  Immediate or otherwise.  So as such, a letter from you vouching for this unusual looking group could go a long way toward our being able to resupply in towns along the way, if you'd be so kind."

Mits isn't in this for recognition, but hero cred can sure be useful.
Igatho
 Player, 23 posts
 Baby Frost Giant
 Still impressionable
Wed 3 Aug 2016
at 05:59
Some days, you just can't win
"Sure." He writes up a letter and hands it over. "Good luck. Word of advice, though. Keep that baby on a short leash and away from anything breakable."

Igatho says, "I'm a good girl!"

She then looks at Rhagar. "Are you a birdy, Raga?"
Rhagar
 player, 53 posts
Wed 3 Aug 2016
at 06:11
Some days, you just can't win
  Just enough recognition to not be attacked on sight, but not enough recognition to be attacked on sight, is always a tricky balance.

  "No, Igatho.  I am not a birdy.  I am a Draconian." Nevermind genetic science or whatever, fantasy game.  Rhagar is not going to have stray feathers in a sequel.
Mittens
 GM, 2035 posts
Wed 3 Aug 2016
at 06:15
Some days, you just can't win
Mits nods.  "Even normal sized toddlers can be pretty destructive.  Fortunately, between Rhagar and myself, I'd say we're proportionately more powerful than a standard mommy.  Though a literal leash might be a great idea."
Igatho
 Player, 24 posts
 Baby Frost Giant
 Still impressionable
Tue 16 Aug 2016
at 16:26
Some days, you just can't win
"Whassa leash?" Igatho asks.

The mayor says, "You can visit the tanner. He likely has something for you that could work."
Rhagar
 player, 54 posts
Sat 20 Aug 2016
at 05:37
Some days, you just can't win
  "Well, clearly as this is your idea, you can hold onto it Mittens."
Mittens
 GM, 2038 posts
Sun 21 Aug 2016
at 01:34
Some days, you just can't win
Mits chuckles, imagining herself with a were-drake on a leash.  No one would dare pick a fight with her!  Oh wait...  Hmm...  Maybe not such a great idea for the adventure junkie.

"Thanks for the tip!"

She heads off and explains to Igatho.  "A leash is a safety rope to make sure your puppy doesn't run off and get hurt.  Here, I'll show you why it's so great."

Poof!  She prestos an obviously fake puppy that runs away from her mini Mittens owner only to get kicked by an illusory horse.  Then puppy appears with a leash held by the mini Mittens.  She prevents puppy from getting too close to the horse.

"See?  Everybody stays safe.  But this'll be even better.  'Cause you'll get to BE the puppy!"

She begins fashioning a leash from her rope, thinks better of it, and starts over.

"I've got an idea.  I'll make yours look like a puppy tail."

Leash around the tall baby's waist probably won't choke her when one around the neck would.
Igatho
 Player, 25 posts
 Baby Frost Giant
 Still impressionable
Sun 21 Aug 2016
at 02:53
Some days, you just can't win
Igatho says with a little squeal towards the end, "I'mma puppy?"

Either way, Mittens discovers that, unless she happens to be an expert at creating harnesses, her harness will likely be temporary. And there's another problem... having the strength to keep baby from dragging Mittens around if she really wants to run off somewhere.
Rhagar
 player, 55 posts
Sun 21 Aug 2016
at 08:00
Some days, you just can't win
  Rhagar is sure Mittens is up to the challenge!  Maybe.  From what I have herd, eventually things leashes are meant for learn to stop just because you tugged... I have also heard it can take quite some time."
Mittens
 GM, 2058 posts
Wed 7 Sep 2016
at 03:03
Some days, you just can't win
Mits smiles, nods to Igatho, and offers pets.  "Good girl!"

"Mittens went with the leash idea more for settling the nerves of townsfolk than any imagined control over a giant.  But Rhagar makes a good point...

"Say Igatho!  Every time I tug on the leash, if you come to me, you'll get a sweet treat!"

Igatho
 Player, 26 posts
 Baby Frost Giant
 Still impressionable
Wed 7 Sep 2016
at 16:11
Some days, you just can't win
Igatho lets her tongue hang out while panting and stamping her foot. Then says, "I get doggy treats? Yay!" She wags her hips to try to make the leash/tail wag.

Positive reinforcement will go a loooong way!

People on the street see the silly sight and a few are actually beginning to smile as if trying not to laugh.
Rhagar
 player, 56 posts
Thu 8 Sep 2016
at 05:14
Some days, you just can't win
  Smart move of the people to avoid laughing, babies are quite volatile and will turn on you when you least expect it.

  Science has shown that babies understand the concept of revenge... Wait, is he thinking about Thri-kreen again?