"Yeah, that seems like an unfortunately realistic representation of events.  Shame too, considering Mishann deserves piggyback rides." Don't worry, we're sure strength check scaling will let you bench press your fellow party members soon enough.

  "As for not splitting up, oh right, duh.  This is what I get for being out of practice working with others." Even if that's still working with them from across the encounter, that's still technically with a group.

Nathan nods.  "Yeah.  Nothing wrong with being cautious.  And I enjoy the company."

Mits gives a thumbs-up.  "We'll figure out a way, Mishann.  Some day.  Piggyback rides for the nice dragon lady."

Mishann looks at Shalelu. "In the meantime... you wanted to tell us stuff about goblins, yes?"

  Oh right, the reason they came here aside from food was Main plot exposition. Joe wonders what they will learn

Shalelu nods to Mishann.  "I'll start with ten fun facts about goblins..."

ten fun facts
about goblins
1: Horse Hate: Goblins excel at riding animals, but they don’t
quite get horses. In fact, their hatred of all things horse is
matched only by their fear of horses, who tend to step on
goblins who get too close.
2: Dog Hate: Although goblins raise horrible rat-faced creatures called (creatively enough) goblin dogs to use as mounts
(and ride wolves or worgs if they can get them—goblins are
quick to explain that wolves are NOT dogs), their hatred of
plain old dogs nearly matches their hatred of horses. The
feeling is mutual. If your dog’s barking at the woodpile for
no reason, chances are he smells a frightened goblin hiding
in there somewhere.
3: Goblins Raid Junkyards: Garbage pits, gutters, sewers… anywhere there’s garbage, you can bet goblins are nearby. Goblins
are weirdly adept at crafting weapons and armor from refuse,
and are fond of killing people with what they throw away.
4: Goblins Love to Sing: Unfortunately, as catchy as their lyrics
can be, goblin songs tend to be a bit too creepy and disturbing
to catch on in polite society.
5: They’re Sneaky: An excited or angry goblin is a noisy, chattering, toothy menace, but even then, he can drop into an
unsettling silence in a heartbeat. This, matched with their
diminutive size, makes them unnervingly adept at hiding in
places you’d never expect: stacks of firewood, rain barrels,
under logs, under chicken coops, in ovens…
6: They’re A Little Crazy: The fact that goblins
think of things like ovens as good hiding places
reveals much about their inability to think plans
through to the most likely outcome. That, and
they tend to be easily distracted, particularly
by shiny things and animals smaller than them
that might make good eating.
7: They’re Voracious: Given enough supplies, a goblin generally takes nearly a dozen meals a day. Most goblin tribes
don’t have enough supplies to accommodate such ravenous
appetites, which is why the little menaces are so prone to
going on raids.
8: They Like Fire: Burning things is one of the great goblin pastimes, although they’re generally pretty careful about lighting
fires in their own lairs, especially since goblins tend to live in
large tangled thistle patches and sleep in beds of dried leaves
and grass. But give a goblin a torch and someone else’s home
and you’ve got trouble.
9: They Get Stuck Easily: Goblins have wiry frames but wide
heads. They live in cramped warrens. Sometimes too cramped.
10: Goblins Believe Writing Steals Your Soul: The walls of
goblin lairs and the ruins of towns goblins have raided are littered with pictures of their exploits. They never use writing,
though. That’s not lucky. Writing steals words out of your
head. You can’t get them back.

"Any exceptions to these rules?" Nathan asks.

"I imagine...  But I've never seen any."

Mits sweatdrops.  "Yeesh."

Mishann's reactions:

1) Horse Hate: Mishann laughs.
2) Dog Hate: Mishann says, "I would love to show them wolves are, in fact, dogs. But no amount of evidence can convince a crazy person."
3) Goblins Raid Junkyards: "Fitting."
4) Goblins Love to Sing: "And they are nuts enough that they don't really notice or care when one sings on key and another doesn't."
5) They’re Sneaky: Mishann says, "Luckily, their sneak-attacks don't hurt tough people like adventurers, so that is only an annoying fact... wait, ovens?"
6) They’re A Little Crazy: "Oh. Right."
7) They’re Voracious: "A dozen? I guess depending on what counts as a meal... what do they do when there is nobody they can raid? Turn on each other?"
8) They Like Fire: "I would love to set a goblin burrow on fire."
9) They Get Stuck Easily: "I guess something has to balance their craziness."
10) Goblins Believe Writing Steals Your Soul: "I am almost surprised they care to keep their ability to communicate."

Mishann says, "Well, Shalelu... we can tell you the story of the raid over dinner, or I can get up there after dinner and tell it as per the rule about getting discounts on food."

  Joe somehow finds none of this surprising, even if mostly stupid.  "If I had a preference for swords, I might have looted one of those 'horse choppers' to see how they turn out, but I've already got my preferences." Maybe he had a gimmick build that needed a slashing version of a shortsword?

Pyrus comments on the love of fire with a puff of smoke from his nostrils.

Shalelu shrugs.  "I'm sure you'll get the discount for what you did without having to tell the tale.  Most everyone in town must've seen it."

Mits smiles and says, "I'd want the story told anyhow."

"Then after we're done.  Since I've already told you about the tribes, all that's left is to tell you about their 'heroes...'"

Shalelu notes
that goblins generally live short,
violent lives. It’s unusual for a
single goblin to achieve any real
measure of notoriety, but when
one does, it’s well-earned.
Currently, five goblins
enjoy the status of “hero.”
Big Gugmut is an unusually
muscular and tall goblin from
Mosswood who, it is said, had a
hobgoblin for a mother and a wild boar
for a father. Koruvus was a champion
of the Seven Tooth tribe, who was as well
known for his short temper as he was for his prized
possession—a magic longsword sized for a human that the
goblin stubbornly kept as his own (despite the fact that it was
too large for him to properly wield). Koruvus vanished several
months ago after he supposedly discovered a “secret hideout”
in a cave along the cliffs, but the Seven Tooth goblins remain
convinced that he’s out there still, a ghost or worse, waiting
to murder any goblin who tries to discover his hideout. Vorka
is a notorious goblin cannibal who lives in the Brinestump
marsh, a “hero” mostly to goblins other than the Licktoad
tribe. Ripnugget is the current leader of the Thistletop
goblins and controls what the five tribes agree is the best lair.
And then there’s Bruthazmus, an infamous bugbear ranger
who lives in northern Nettlewood and often visits the five
tribes to trade things he’s stolen from caravans for alcohol,
news, or magic arrows. Shalelu notes that Bruthazmus has a
particular hatred of elves, and that they have fought on several
occasions. To date, neither of them has managed to get the
upper hand on the other, but Shalelu bitterly vows that she
won’t be the first to fall in their private war.

Mits judges it too impolite to ask why the special hate for Bruthazmus.
This message was last edited by the GM at 07:34, Sat 28 Jan 2017.

Mishann just figures Shalelu hates Bruthazmus for the obvious reason: He's a goblinoid who hates Shalelu's kind. Probably killed a friend or relative.

Mishann says, "Well I can assure you; you have a friend in us. And with first-hand experience of what these little creatures can do, deceptively weak though they may be, this group of adventurers hate the monsters. Probably not as much as you, considering I don't plan to devote myself to the elimination of goblins specifically, but what matters is that we will do what it takes to protect Sandpoint from the coming threat."

When dinner is done, Mishann is happy to get up and tell the tail of the recent raid and how the goblins fell to the heroes. Even an elite, though he got a lick or two in, was far from a match for this group. She does tell about the glassworks, but entirely omits the part about how gruesome the scene was. Her storytelling is about as good as Mittens was hoping for! She ends the tail with "The fight is not over yet. Keep a vigilant eye out for goblins and let the authorities know right away! And if any of you need to talk to my friends or I, don't be afraid to approach us. Just know that we are going to be busy with helping Sandpoint, so if you approach us, try to make sure it is important." That last part was said cheerfully to take the edge off the statement.
This message was last edited by the player at 07:45, Sat 28 Jan 2017.

  Shalelu hates Bruthazmus more because it's an enemy archer, duh.

  "The sooner those extra troops get sorted, the sooner we can deal with this town's more distant problems."  Or at least, even the sooner they find out there won't be any soldiers too.
This message was last edited by the player at 07:52, Sat 28 Jan 2017.

Mittens added special effects to the story-telling using her magic.  Nathan added some music.  The audience loves the performance and applauds.

Shalelu smiles and joins the clapping.  "Well told!  I'm going to go poke about the glassworks to see if I find anything.  Mind if I have a look at that sketchbook?"

Mits shrugs.  "You'll have to ask for it at the barracks.  The Sheriff took it there as evidence."

The elf nods and heads out.  As she does, Aldern Foxglove enters, smiling upon seeing the heroes.  "Well well well!  My heroes!  Good to see you well."

Mishann looks surprised to see Aldern. She then offers a smile and says, "Aldern... please come and have a seat." Her tail pulls out a chair, making it almost seem like the chair pulls itself.

  What? Oh right, the guy who's dog died.  "Hello Aldern, good to see you are holding up better than earlier."

Aldern looks as surprised and amused by Mishann's trick as a kid.  He smiles and nods to Mishann, taking the seat she offered.

"Thank you.  I must admit, I'm a little surprised you remember my name."

He looks rather sheepish to be admitting that.

"Saw your posting on the board o' quests," Mits says, "What'd you want with us?"

"Ah.  Right to business, then.  Very well, then.  I promised you a reward."

He places a sack on the table and opens it.  Several dozen gold coins are inside.  "I uh...  Thank you."

He blushes deeply.  "I had rehearsed a much better thanks...  I apologize.  Words are failing."

Nathan chuckles.  "No worries.  Sometimes only music will do."

He begins singing a "You're welcome" song.

Mishann looks at the money and then looks back at Aldern. She has a look on her face that shows she is thinking about something (Namely that she will only offer condolences for the dog if the topic is brought up, but otherwise will not bring it up). With a smiles, she answers, "I appreciate your gratitude. Not everyone is able to give money, so I can appreciate your use of what you have. Your words, failing though you may think them, say it all. Would you like to stay and be with us for a while? Or do you have pressing matters?"

  Joe nods, "Actually trying to be thankful at all is sadly, not as common a response as you'd like in this business. So I'll gladly take an awkward thanks over complaining that saving someone from being eaten by a Behir has somehow made their lives worse."

Mits giggles that Joe rubbed it in the guy was being so awkward.  Pyrus is tempted to nibble on Joe's ear when mention of Behir nomming is made, but decides he'd rather not risk losing his nice perch.  Nathan switches from lyrics to simple notes and hums so as not to detract from the conversation.

"You're very kind, thank you," Aldern says, tapping his thumbs together and blushing, "No pressing matters, no.  Not yet, anyway.  I'm on vacation here.  Had intended to go hunting.  But I must be making ready to return home to Magnimar within a few days.  I would so very honored if you all would grace me with your company on the hunt."

"Sounds fun and all, but we do have pressing matters," Mits answers.

Aldern seems disappointed but covers it quickly with a shrug.

Mishann says, "Thank you so much for the invite. Believe me, we'd much rather join you on that hunt than be stuck with what we'll be facing soon. But there is a chance we could be free in just a few hours. Where would you like us to find you if so?"

  "Despite cliche appearances, hunting for sport or food is something I don't really have the opportunity to indulge in."  Besides, wildlife is generally much more dangerous than goblin armies, and some devils.  "Though I would be pleasantly surprised if it turned out to be the case for once."

Also wanting to be accommodating, Nathan offers, "We were thinking of setting up traps on the outskirts for goblins.  I'm sure we could combine that with the hunt."

Aldern claps his hands in delight.  "Oh by all means!  I'd be more than happy to plan my schedule around yours.  If you all don't already have mounts, I can supply them to speed along travel time."

Mits looks surprised and a tad impressed.  "Aaallright.  Not going to turn down an offer like that.  Not expecting our business here in town to take long.  But it is after dinner.  Were you planning a night hunt?"

Aldern looks taken aback.  "Oh heavens no.  I haven't the skill nor courage to be out in the wild at night.  Tomorrow morning, perhaps?  At your convenience, of course."

Mits frowns and shrugs.  "Sure?  Whatcha hunting?  Deer?"

"Boar.  I'd intended to donate the kill to the celebration, but uh...  Can still be donated to the town anyhow, I'm sure."
This message was last edited by the player at 04:24, Sun 29 Jan 2017.

Mishann is very happy, it seems. "Tomorrow morning it is... we still have two things to check into before the night is through. So we will see you then, if that is everything you needed to discuss for tonight."

  "I'm sure there are plenty of people in town who would like to have some kind of festivities that don't get interrupted in the process still.  So hopefully that can be put to use like you thought, if not for the same occasion."

Aldern says his goodnights and whatnot and retires to his room at the Rusty Dragon.

"Convenient he's staying here," Mitts comments.

Nathan nod-nods, still humming his tune.

Mishann idly pets Nathan and says, "Shayliss next, right? So let's go see her." Mishann gets up and leads the way to the location of Shayliss!

  Joe's good with whichever destination they go for. So personal matters for taller archers or possible monster closets and encouraging children to keep a blunt object by the bedside, he shall follow along.