Hendell:
I think the most likely problem you have seen is that there are two significantly different interest groups, and most games try to do both.
Pick the one you are most comfortable with and label it clearly.
This right here. I'm not sure I'd agree it's quite so simple as to say "two," but definitely there are two major branches - action and intrigue. Especially in a game here on RPOL, but also IRL, you need to make the decision right up front as to which path you're following, and make sure you're very clear about it. If your players are expecting superheroes with fangs and you give them spy novella it's just as bad as if they're expecting Clancy and get
Black Panther.
Me personally, I prefer head games, especially here on RPOL. Combat tends to destroy games here on RPOL if not handled well. On the other hand, discussion games like those I like appear not to attract as large an audience and need to be kept interesting by all parties involved.
And, as GreyGriffin noted, the idea that
Vampire encourages intra-party distrust and conflict doesn't exactly help matters. External forces can ensure a circle of wraiths or a pack of werewolves stick together even if they hate one another; there's really nothing keeping your standard party of licks from tearing one anothers' throats out (apart from something like a Vaulderie, but then you're getting into what amounts to werewolf with fangs territory, and that's another game entirely).