Re: Interlude 1 - The Waking God
Raven gave the girl a scornful look.
"I didn't do drugs to 'attune' anything, I did it to get smashed really good. It wasn't a ritual, or ceremony, or vision quest, or any of the rest. I wasn't seeking enlightenment, my true self, any God or Goddess, trying to reach a higher plane of existence, or any of the rest of that mumbo jumbo bull hockey. If you want to gab with someone about all of that, you might want to try FW as he believes in chi and I find it cheesy (ooc: he pronounced it chi-zee).
"Things were hectic on Earth when I got drafted into the Army, a lot of jumpy nerves and twitchy trigger fingers. So we took a little something, to take the edge off. After I screwed up majorly, my misdeeds wouldn't give me a second of peace so I increased both the amount and frequency of my use making it an official habit. It didn't stop the well deserved torture of my blighted soul, but simply made me not care.
"When I got out among the stars, I decided to wipe away who I had been and repaint myself upon a perfect, black canvas. I joined the Space Marines with my real name but a false history, and I continued using; with the right 'help', I could stay up all night studying for a test and be wide awake the next day so I could take it. The obstacle courses they used weren't that hard when you couldn't feel your body's
fatigue and pain, while uppers put you on a razor's edge and you can fly a training shuttle through the eye of a needle if you have to.
"I worked hard on my new career, made friends, was liked and respected, and leaned my crutch up against the barrack's wall. Oh we still did drugs, but this was just to relax at the end of the day like with a cancer stick or beer. I had plenty at that point in my life that it distracted me from the wraiths howling for payment. But then I lost my squadron, my friends, effectively my rank, and my career. It was all of that I used to convince myself there was no room left for my old habit, then it was all gone except for the drugs. So I crawled into them, built a castle of syringes on an island of pills surrounded by a moat of rotgut.
"So don't confuse me with a noble or wise man, I'm just a junkie who shot up and neither knew nor cared about what he was doing. While I was tripping, I opened a rift and Tink popped out of it. I didn't and still don't remember anything about it, he had to tell me. He had fun making up stories, but when I threatened to dunk him into a barrel of rust remover he told me the real one.
"I never gave any thought to not using anymore, been too busy to. Besides, I've heard drug use is actually encouraged in some religions as a reverent practice. As for the Spirit World, considering there were things lurking just within its boundaries that eagerly yearned to turn my intestines into confetti, I avoided the place when if at all possible.
"Oh, and when I'd tell my squad what or who we were after, I'd always end my briefing with, 'They'll be a problem nevermore'. So, my call sign became 'Raven'."