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Grizzly's Room.

Posted by ZephydelFor group 0
CuteSue
GM, 1991 posts
Sat 7 Mar 2015
at 11:04
  • msg #745

Re: Grizzly's Room


He has a list, this list rules his life...

I am trying to make him see that dating is the way to get to know people, the only sane way

so far all he does is sabotage his own happiness with refusing to see reality
Nuric
player, 1951 posts
I'm here occasionally.
Will be back eventually.
Sun 8 Mar 2015
at 11:39
  • msg #746

Re: Grizzly's Room

There's a number of psychological terms for this, but I'm drawing a blank.

It's like obsessing about the perfect woman, someone who has the brains of a rocket scientist, the looks of a lingerie model, and the sexual appetite of, well, a man.
(you know, like EVERY female scientist who's a love interest in movies. :)  )

And he's convinced that something horrible will happen if a non-virgin woman takes him to bed.   though, honestly, some women might prefer that.  Having a man that is free from disease, and one that doesn't have any bad sexual habits, might be a turn on in the right place.
CuteSue
GM, 1997 posts
Sun 8 Mar 2015
at 17:03
  • msg #747

Re: Grizzly's Room


I am absolutely convinced I can find him a woman that would love to help him learn all the funs of the sex...

but I am an optimist, and well... Have never understood when in movies they have these huge laughs at male anatomy, size and skill in bed...

I think that is the thing he really fears, being compared to someone else
Nuric
player, 1955 posts
I'm here occasionally.
Will be back eventually.
Fri 13 Mar 2015
at 02:35
  • msg #748

Re: Grizzly's Room

It's a very common male fear: To be compared to other men and found to be inferior.  Most men want to at least be "above average" (which is mathematically impossible, I know *smiles*).
Men have things much easier, on average, than men, but men have certainly been their own worst enemy as we create an artificially high standard of having to be powerful, macho, virile manly men who can kill a bear with a grin and can make a woman pregnant with a wink.
It's perhaps not as damaging as the fantasy of looking like Barbie dolls that women have to do, but it can be very damaging.
CuteSue
GM, 2003 posts
Sat 14 Mar 2015
at 12:15
  • msg #749

Re: Grizzly's Room


I've seen he-man and G.I.Joe, boys and men has as much... weird body image problems as women and barbie

When I was small, there was dolls that didn't have waist or anything, they just were flat and had head, arms and legs made of rubber, rest almost looked like a pillow. Soft and white.

I loved to play with that doll, I loved to play with barbies too, I saw them as dolls, not until I came into my teens, someone told me I should be horrified by how barbie looks, did I even realize it was damaging in any way, as well, dolls are dolls

dolls are plastic, it's like trying to look like spongebob squarepants, they a figment of imagination, who the fuck would wanna look like them?

but as soon as someone pointed it out, suddenly I wondered, should I?

I liked the innocently playing with it time better, because suddenly I thought I wanted to look like barbie

sadly, I got the barbie boobs, but not the height... and I am sorta thankful I didn't, my back would have killed me even more then

now I just had painful knees, back ache from hell and walking was too fast, as they bounced all over. There is not made a bra strong enough to keep that much, excessive tissue in place
Nuric
player, 1959 posts
I'm here occasionally.
Will be back eventually.
Sun 15 Mar 2015
at 10:14
  • msg #750

Re: Grizzly's Room

Yes, not everyone is as vulnerable to the "Barbie" Envy problem as others.  Many girls, and guys, see movie stars or other famous people and compare themselves to the famous people, feeling inferior and insecure.
I remind people that most famous people are good looking for a living.  Which, literally, means that they have nothing else to do with their time but get in great shape and make themselves attractive.   They don't normally have real jobs or lots of family obligations, so they can spend 3 hours at the gym or 2 hours on skin and hair treatments.   And they usually have expensive trainers to help them.

I was detached enough from my fantasy life that I never felt the need to have to look like the superheroes in comic books or movies, and the super unrealistic ones were too laughable to consider being something I should be trying to achieve.
Sadly, not everyone is raised with enough self esteem, and many young people are vulnerable to feeling like they must be pretty, at any cost.
CuteSue
GM, 2007 posts
Sun 15 Mar 2015
at 11:41
  • msg #751

Re: Grizzly's Room

I had loads of self esteem as a child, I was cocky and loud...

then I came to that awkward time of life, called teenager, when, loud and smartmouthed people get bullied...

so I was bullied, a lot... Broke my self esteem

but I never got anything truly wrong with me, no eating disorders or overly active to lose weight, I just, stopped caring about what I looked like, and wished for huge boobs to get the attention and friendship of people

and... whichever higher being got that wish, laughed and gave it to me...

which taught me one thing, boobs is not the answer, boobs will get attention yes, but not the attention one wants. So next 5 years I faught like hell to get a doctor to say "yes they too large, they need to go"

and in that time, I grew as a person and realized I never should have thought I was lesser than what I am
Nuric
player, 1963 posts
I'm here occasionally.
Will be back eventually.
Sun 22 Mar 2015
at 07:50
  • msg #752

Re: Grizzly's Room

Yes, I think a lot of us as teens wanted to have something "special" that would make everyone magically love them.  But it can be rough when even physical attributes that normally are desirable can still be a source of negative attention.

I remember a  couple of girls from my junior high school (ages 12-14) who at 13 had very large breasts.  One was able to focus on her singing and ignored all the comments, but another let the attention make her feel useless as a person and eventually lost her self esteem.
We kids can be pretty stupid at that age.
CuteSue
GM, 2013 posts
Tue 24 Mar 2015
at 11:28
  • msg #753

Re: Grizzly's Room

kids at that age is in a tornado of hormones, they don't know what to feel

puberty is really like being on drugs, except the drugs is all hormones, and then the knowledge part.

Teenagers don't know what consequences to actions is, because they haven't done it yet, essentially, teenagers are psychopaths, because too much feelings, makes one insane

But one has to see it like this, teenagers have to make mistakes to learn, to see the consequences of their actions.

I was bullied, I have studied a lot of psychology behind teenagers do's and don'ts because I had to find a reason, so all I see is. Bullying will only stop when parents teach their children everything

and no parent can do that, because parents all "forget" what stupid shit they did that age, very conveniently too
Nuric
player, 1968 posts
I'm here occasionally.
Will be back eventually.
Tue 24 Mar 2015
at 12:02
  • msg #754

Re: Grizzly's Room

One thing about me not having kids is that I've never had to be "the adult" for other kids, so, in a strange way, I'm more connected to my childhood than my two brothers who have children, and I can remember more vividly what it was like to have been a child.  Since I don't have experience on the parent end of things to muddy the memories.

I didn't have as much trouble with bullies as I probably could have.  I was an awkward kid and very socially inept, but I was a big farm kid so many bullies didn't bother with me and went for smaller kids.
Still, there were a couple.  One I eventually stood up to, and that seemed to cure him of his desire to mess with me.   :)

That's the only way to stop a bully, at least from the bullied kid's perspective.  They have to stand up to their bully.  If the bully has to work for the fight, they'll go somewhere else.


But you're right about teenagers and hormones.   They can really mess up a kid's thinking process.
I used to watch a television show years ago called "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" about two brothers, both named Pete, though they were different ages.  It was a very funny and quirky show with a weird sense of humor.
A friend said she hated it because "everything that happened on the show, no matter how trivial, was treated as the most important thing in the world".  But that's one of the reasons I liked it.
These kids, a 15 year old and his 10 year old brother, had adventures in school and everything that happened was treated like it was the end of the world or some other cataclysmic event.  Every test, every school dance, every visit by an out of state relative, was treated with the seriousness usually reserved for when a meteor is ready to hit the town or something.
But, that's what childhood was like.   Kids have no perspective, so everything is "the end of the world".   They felt their lives would end if they didn't show up to school in the right outfit, or join the right club, or if they made one mistake in class.

All because of hormones.
CuteSue
GM, 2018 posts
Wed 25 Mar 2015
at 11:23
  • msg #755

Re: Grizzly's Room

hormones and peer pressure, being different means no one likes you, and being liked is the biggest thing when one is in school

I began my bullied career... Yeah, I joke, it wasn't a career, anyway, I began it in second grade, because we were 16 students, this is 5 girls and 11 boys, and that age girls tend to pair up, it's some brainswashing bullshit that a girl can only have one best friend

so, I was the odd one out, I had no best friend, but it didn't matter for me, I liked to play with the boys, you know, shooting and running in mud.

So the girls called me names, cause I was always dirty, and the boys thought I was weak, cause I was a girl. then third grade, suddenly girl cooties... So wasn't allowed to play with the boys, and wasn't allowed near the girls, as I was contaminated by boy cooties...

sigh, oh kids can be cruel

4th and 6th grades same, but more hard core into looks, how one moved and how dare I have an older sister that is fat...?????!!!!????

7th to 9th grade was physical bullying, ergo I tripped a lot, on random legs, fell into locker doors, shoes and clothes disappeared, hair got yanked, got concussions...

And I fought it tooth and nail all the way, you see, I'm small, thin and short, not dwarf short, but too short. So it was hilarious to hold me at arms-length as I screamed and tried to punch back. I finally grew into average height. Still short, but now, if people fuck with me, I can fuck them up
Nuric
player, 1971 posts
I'm here occasionally.
Will be back eventually.
Sat 28 Mar 2015
at 07:21
  • msg #756

Re: Grizzly's Room

I'm sorry to hear about your problems.  My school was larger, with between 80 and 120 kids per grade from kindergarten to senior year.
I was teased as a goofy, dorky kid, with no social skills to speak of.

I actually tried teasing other people when I gained some confidence, but I gave up  quickly.  I was terrible at it, and regretted trying.
I suppose that the bullying I endured, as minimal as it was, at least made me more sympathetic and empathetic to other people and their problems.

That's about all we can do, is try to use the bad memories to motivate us to be better than the bullies.
CuteSue
GM, 2027 posts
Sat 25 Apr 2015
at 20:31
  • msg #757

Re: Grizzly's Room

I am a well rounded empathic person, no idea if it is cause I survived or if I decided to not care about critical comments, but only help

*shrugs*

whatever made me as I am, it made me into a good person
Nuric
player, 1975 posts
I'm here occasionally.
Will be back eventually.
Thu 30 Apr 2015
at 01:59
  • msg #758

Re: Grizzly's Room

I am fairly flawed and neurotic, but it's made me appreciate the value of friendship, and made me not expect perfection in others.
I remember being the odd person out, so I try to be friendly and welcoming to everyone else.
CuteSue
GM, 2028 posts
Tue 5 May 2015
at 19:10
  • msg #759

Re: Grizzly's Room


As I read somewhere

those that feel the worse and know real sadness, always try to cheer up and protect others, because they never want anyone else to feel that feeling

or something, it was an age since I read it
Grizzly
player, 248 posts
Thu 7 May 2015
at 03:28
  • msg #760

Re: Grizzly's Room

I had to change schools when my family moved so I was thrust out of my social element at the beginning of my teens.  It wasn't easy since I was the new kid at the school and, since we only had one class for the grade, I was stuck with having to deal with a number of cliques that had formed over the years.  It wasn't pleasant and I was picked on badly.

But I survived.  Scarred and limping but alive.  :)
C-h Freese
player, 31 posts
Come in to my Parlor,
Please
Sat 9 May 2015
at 08:39
  • msg #761

Re: Grizzly's Room

When I was in School we never moved, as a matter of fact ours was an old family name in the area. [old for the USA]  But as I was somewhat withdrawn and not terribly social I did get picked on quite often.  My problem with bullies was much like anyones elses, but oddly the reason I seldom attempted to defend myself was I didn't want to seriously hurt them.  My wife really doesn't like crowds and has serious issues driving in big cities.  I on the other hand have said since I was reasonably young that I am one of those who can be alone in a crowd.
CuteSue
GM, 2030 posts
Fri 29 May 2015
at 14:16
  • msg #762

Re: Grizzly's Room

*hugs*
C-h Freese
player, 33 posts
Come in to my Parlor,
Please
Sat 30 May 2015
at 06:01
  • msg #763

Re: Grizzly's Room

*does an eight-legged tap dance*
The problem with spiders is most don't want them to hug them back.
Grizzly
player, 249 posts
Wed 3 Jun 2015
at 01:41
  • msg #764

Re: Grizzly's Room

How odd.  They have so many legs with which to hug others.
C-h Freese
player, 35 posts
Come in to my Parlor,
Please
Wed 3 Jun 2015
at 04:16
  • msg #765

Re: Grizzly's Room

  Sadly they have this urge to nibble while hugging.
Grizzly
player, 250 posts
Wed 8 Jul 2015
at 01:00
  • msg #766

Re: Grizzly's Room

Just give them a stern talking to.

Bad eight legged spider monster.  No biting.  Bad.
C-h Freese
player, 36 posts
Come in to my Parlor,
Please
Wed 8 Jul 2015
at 10:27
  • msg #767

Re: Grizzly's Room

Well.... There is a reason I call my granddaughter "Bug".  ;;;;^)
Grizzly
player, 253 posts
Fri 7 Aug 2015
at 02:12
  • msg #768

Re: Grizzly's Room

Ah moving stress.  I'll be glad when it's all over.
Nuric
player, 1978 posts
I'm here occasionally.
Will be back eventually.
Sat 7 Nov 2015
at 05:01
  • msg #769

Re: Grizzly's Room

We could be moving in the near future as well, if my lady gets one of the jobs up north.  I'm looking forward to moving out of Texas, but dreading having to schlep our stuff two thousand miles again.
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