You wake up feeling wobbly.  You remember being slammed into by the Blue Guy, then a feeling of weightlessness, then a feeling of a great pressing weight.  You can kind figure out what all that meant.  What you can't figure out is why the sky looks that odd shade of green-ish purple, why you are tied up next to a tree, or why Betty White is looking at you like she could strip the skin from your bones with little more than her gaze.

What the...

Ok, think this through...

Weird sky, why a weird sky...

Think, Think, Think...

Magicland! Rivkah said something about a Neverwhere or a Neverland or something. The place where magic things come from.

Ok, got that. So why am I here?

Think, Think, Think...

Blue Guy!  I was run over by...Whatever the heck he is...

Must have been thrown through some kind of portal thing...

Ok, what's next....Betty White...

Uhhh....I got nothing.  There is no good reason Betty White should be threatening me.  Nor tying me to a tree.

Yutz.

Yutz, Yutz, Yutz.

Ah, Well. Here goes nothing.

"Hello Ms. White, How are you today?"

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 2):

Polite, aren't you mortal?  That's good, that's good. Don't worry, I'm not going to harm you, but I can't run the risk of you getting in my way.  Instead, I think I know a way you can help me.  Who knows, you might survive, you might even experience pleasure, or have a good time.  I don't know, don't care, I've got to get rid of you, and I know just the place.

Betty White begins laughing to herself, all the while checking her equipment, making sure everything is in order.  Every once in a while she stops, looks around as though expecting someone,then continuing about her business.

After several minutes, you notice a small bearded man looking at you.  He reminds you of the old cartoon character David the Gnome. Before you can speak he lifts a finger to his lips and tells you Shh! He winks, and fades into the woods.

A figure approaches the camp. Betty speaks with the figure a while, motions to you, then the small figure disappears.

Okaaayyyy, this is just getting wierder.

She said 'mortal' so she's obviously not. We're dealing with something supernatural.

And what was with Nick Jr. over there?

Curiouser and Curiouser...

I should probably see if I can get myself free of these bonds at least - preferably without anyone knowing.

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 4):

You feel weight on your shoulder, apparently the little man has returned. <Unfortunately the primary phase of your future is inevitable.  It is taking you further into the NeverNever, and it behooves you to cooperate at this juncture.  Whatever you do, don't fight it, not here.  You might engage it in conversation, if you are wise and cunning, you might be able to get information. That creature's type, although equipped for speaking, does not contain oration or verbal jousting in its skill set.  Well, not verbal jousting such as employed by philosophers, per se, or the other type, such as, oh, spies for Mossad would use.>

The little man chuckles as you start a little upon realizing he speaks your language as well as you do, only with less movie quotes, and a larger vocabulary.

<My brother, I am a Gnome. I and my people were once allied with the Summer Court of the fae, but are no longer. Solzhenitsyn wrote about man giving in on principles, even important ones, being it is the easier path.  We are striving to walk the high path.  Well, normally, I'm afraid I may have to travel the low path right now.  I can help you human, but I require help in return.

I will free you at the proper time, it will be in the next area, where that thing is taking you.  I'll free you and assist you as I can, and in exchange, you agree to help me and mine. Deal?>

OOC - Hey now, he only speaks in quotes when using English, not Hebrew. I'm sure his Hebrew vocabulary is exceptionally verbose, thank you very much!  :)


Hearing someone speak in his own tongue fills Israel with relief, even if it comes from a non-human.

Thank goodness, Hebrew! English is such a strange language.

In Hebrew <Well, it seem I have little choice, my friend.  Free me and I will assist your people to the best of my ability. You don't happen to be able to inform me what 'It' is, do you? Or why it's chosen the shape of a ninety year old actress? I'm feeling a little out of my depth here.>

I wonder what the obsession with quoting Russian writers is recently. Everybody seems to be dragging out that Solzhenitsyn quote, Israel thinks.

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 6):

<We do not like to speak of such things.  It is undeniably evil, it is also under the control of someone else.  I do not know who would deal with such as this, but I am certain:  It is not acting of its own volition. Neither is the thief it was conferring with.  Here it comes!>

Betty White steps into the shadow of a tree, and...melts...sorta.  It's more like the outside of its body becomes more fluid and pliable, and flows into a new shape.

Out of the shadows, taller now, with a stronger frame, you brace yourself as the creature appears, now in the image of Jimmy Stewart.

Come on son, you've got somewhere to be and don't want to be late. For what it's worth, you haven't been a bad hostage and bait.  But understand I've a reputation, so if I see you again after this, I'm going to gut you and take home your internal organs as trophies.

It takes an hour, or what you think is an hour here in the NeverNever.

At last Stewart drops you inside some bushes.  Wait a couple of minutes, then thrash around a little bit.  That'll bring 'em running.  Doesn't matter, of course, they'll detect you eventually, whatever you do.  Good luck kid. And with that Jimmy Stewart exits.

Your gnomish friend appears again, and promptly sets about untying you.That's the first of my duty done. Now we need to discover where we are exactly, and why. 

Nearby you hear the sound of water moving to shore.  You also can hear voices in the distance if you listen carefully.

"bring 'em running?" Bring WHAT running? Apparently Supernatural creatures aren't much for explain what the frell is going on...

Israel thanks "David" for untying him, and replies, <Yes, 'Why' would be nice. I haven't heard a satisfactory 'Why' since I've been in this confounded place. White/Stewart said something about "bait."  Why the heck would I be useful as bait for anything? Not really sure I'm remarkable enough to be useful to anyone yet.>

Running water...that's supposed to be bad for magic right? I think either Rivkah, or the papers said that...  Not sure if that's necessarily a bad thing though, It's not as if I'm that powerful of a practitioner.

He begins to study his surroundings, as well as the sounds in the distance.
(Investigation 2 + Roll -1 = 1)

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 8):

You find your self on an island.  You were brought to one edge of the island.  As you look out of the bushes you were hidden in, you discover a dazzling beach, and water the color of emeralds.  Green, but pure green, caused by algae, or seaweed, or magic, you don't know, but as the waves crash upon the shore, the sight is extraordinary.  Even more magnificent are the women taking advantage of the beach, women of near breathtaking beauty.  Even from here you can tell they are not fully human.

Up the beach you see a path leading up a hill. The hill is covered with clover, trees at the base, and the path winds up the hills to where they become a cliff-face, and a castle atop the cliff.

You see robed figures moving both directions on the path.

As you gather all of this in, a being rises out of the ocean like flame born from the water.  Red-headed, and from your vantage point you imagine you feel the temperature rising.  The stunning figure almost looks to be wearing fire as she rises from the waves, finds a spot suitable to her desires, and stands expectantly, waiting for something to happen.

Israel asks David, "So is she who we were waiting for? Or is she also waiting for whatever we're waiting for?"

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 10):

As you speak, the lady's head whips around. Come out of hiding! I know you're there!

She slashes her arm through the air as though throwing something, daggers of flame shoot from her hand and consume the brush you are currently in.

The lady moves impossibly fast and closes the distance with you. What are you doing on the Isle of Skye?! Are you in league with the demon trying to steal from me?

Ok, that's it, screw it.  I'm done fracking around.

Israel, still sitting on the ground, drops his arms over his and sighs loudly, shaking his head. "Lady, if I was in league with a Demon, would I be hiding in the bushes?"

"Look, no offense, but I've had a frell of a day. I've been thrown out of my dimension by a fat, naked, blue guy; been kidnapped by the demon "Not-quite-Betty-White;" drug through goodness knows where; and plopped unceremoniously in the bushes apparently just to piss you off, and frankly I'm sick of this crap. All I wanna know is what the gorram heck is going on!"


OOC: Yeah, I know, not the smartest thing...but it was in character, and more fun!

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 12):

(OOC: um..gotta check something, technically, I think you may have just asked a Celtic Demi-Goddess for sex,or marriage.  Or maybe you challenged her to a fight...or all 3.)

The woman glares a moment longer, then smiles a sultry smile at you. Well well, the man has nerve, if a little lacking in manners.  Very well, then, this is the Isle of Sky, or the neverNever version.  Here we train in the warrior arts, dedicating our lives in the fight against evil.  I do not know this Betty White, but if it is a demon in human form, and is the same demon who has tried several times to access these hallowed lands, then your enemy is He Who Walks Disguised. Not the strongest of the Walkers, but subtle, tricky.

I can't imagine what it is doing here unless it is after something here.  If the target is not you, it is undoubtedly using you to distract me. 

You hear screaming from the edge of the woods.  As you look, the fat blue faerie falls to the ground, bleeding from multiple wounds.  Warriors! To Arms!

But even as the woman next to you screams the words, the Walker has again escaped.

you will be a guest until we are certain what is happening here. Do not attempt to flee.

She hurries away.  A figure in a red cloak is watching you from a distance.  Careful to keep an eye on you, but also careful not to be seen beneath the cloak. After observation you realize at least part of this behavior must be due to rank.  Lower level members have fewer freedoms than the more accomplished.

You see She Who Screams While Wearing Bikinis talking to two other women, and a man.  He stands out for several reasons.  One, he's wearing green and brown amid a lot of red and skin.  Second, he's an old man, and men are infrequent here, but there are a few.  None of whom are old or out of shape.

Israel mutters quietly under his breath, "Sure, I'll just stand right here confused and lost, thanks."

So, the good news is, I've been told where I am. The Isle of Sky - magic-land version.
The bad news is, I have no idea where the Isle of Sky is supposed to be.

(Don't know if its enough to compel a fate point out of So Far From Home, but its at least consistent with it to not know the name of Scottish Islands... heck, I had to look it up)

He puts on a large grin and waves at the Red cloak watching him, and walks over to the women and the old guy. "So how's it suspending?" He pauses, "Or was that supposed to be hanging?" I hate English. <You don't speak Hebrew on this Island, do you?>

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 14):

The woman you kinda talked to before looks like that vein in her forehead may explode at any minute.  One of the other ladies is mildly amused.  The rest look at you more or less like a pet who widdled on the new Rug.

The old man laughs softly, looks at you for a moment, and you feel like you are being sized up.  <As it happens, I speak passable Hebrew, though my wife always teased me about the accent.  It looks like I'm going to take responsibility for you for a little while.  You need a guide, and I need a stronger back and set of knees.

I am Arch Druid Spell.  You can call me L.D. You know you're in the NeverNever right? What you might call Faerie Land. The Summer Solstice is almost on us.  Which means every day until then the Summer Court gets stronger, until the moment of the solstice, when Winter begins to increase.

This is fairly common knowledge among those who know anything about the Fae.  This year, though, it seems someone is putting that knowledge to work.  There's a new player in the British Isles.  At first I thought it was Lord SummersIsle, but he's too busy worrying about his apple harvest.

Someone arranged for Liverpool and Glasgow to become major hubs for something called 3-Eye.  Supernatural crime is increasing.  Now someone, and I'm betting it's the same entity, is killing fae around Glasgow, mostly the Winter court, like the Fat Man, one of the last major Fae in the area.  They went and got themselves a Walker, and, what brought me into all this, a Pot has been stolen.

Now, I know about Sergei and Interpol. It surprised th' tar out of me to find you here, and I'm not the only one surprised, but we might as well embrace the situation.  To that end, Israel Elijah Levy, I am asking for your help.>

Ask your questions while I get my stuff, then we'll be going

Kinda creeping me out that everyone seems to know everything about me.

<Sure, why not. It's not as if I'm gonna get home without assistance, and you're one of the first to take the time to explain anything to me since I got here.  Besides, I was originally sent to investigate the blue guy, so I'm kinda invested in 'whatever the heck is going on' anyway.>

Israel briefly turns to the women he pissed off and slightly bows. <My apologies, milady, if I have offended you in some way, 'twas never my intention. I am but a confused stranger in a strangeland.>

Turning back to LD, <I've run into the three-eye you mentioned. That's the case I was on before I got teleported into this dimension.  Wasn't around long enough to find out how it could be connected to all this.>

<So, what can you tell me about the "Pot" that was stolen?>

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 16):

Son, you're on the continent of secrets in the country of people who know more than you do.  And that was before entering the NeverNever, where getting the bloody time of day from someone can cost you a baby. At least you made a friend early on. Hello, David, any improvements in your people's situation?

I'm afraid not, Master Ledrew.  This young wizard has offered to help however.  I sense great potential.  Either that or I'm desperate. Flip a troll.  Did I hear you say a Pot was stolen?  To my knowledge a whole Pot hasn't been taken in...I don't know if it's ever happened before.

Once, and th' black heart bugger caused no end o' trouble, I assure you. The beautiful, if hot-tempered lady you met is Scathach.  You may have heard of her.  Of course, the Scathach of legend is no longer alive, physically, but they say her spirit lives on in those chosen to take her place each generation.  You meet one Scathach, you've mostly met them all.  She is the master of this castle, trainer of warriors, and keeper of the spear Gae Bolg.  If Gae bolg were ever stolen, the potential for chaos would be astronomical.

LD takes a breathe, and drinks a glass of water to clear his throat. As he does so, bells begin ringing from the castle, and red cloaked people have entered a new state of panic.

What's that all about do you suppose?

They probably just discovered the Gae Bolg was stolen. Israel, these are dangerous times and I'm old.  To be blunt, I need you.  I can't go toe to toe with these supernatural dummkopfs. What I do still have is knowledge. I'll share what I can with you.  Don't go asking the locations of the last living dragons, that's classified.  But I can tell you the name of the thief was Thorn Ufgood, leprechaun.

<Look, um, LD, let me be blunt in return.  I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. I've never heard the terms Scathach, Gae Bolg, or Thorn Ufgood until this moment and all Leprechauns mean to me is guardians of magically delicious American Breakfast Cereal. I assume most of what you just said has something to do with Scottish mythology, of which I know absolutely nothing. I only just arrived in the British Isles less than a week ago, and practically everything I know about Scotland comes from Braveheart, which is about as useful as reading Spiderman to learn about New York. So let's assume that every term you mention, I've never heard of.>

<That I said, I'll help anyway I can. If you're wanting me to chase Leprechauns, just point me in the right direction.>

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 18):

Youare green aren't you?  Well, helping green things grow is my specialty, well, that and being generally grumpy.  Alright, ornery s.o.b. might fit better.  Let me explain a couple things.  First, Thorn Ufgood is an old, respectable leprechaun.  Well, as respectable as they get anyway, I mean, we're talking about leprechauns here, and like you said, most people today know them based on that pedophile and his "lucky charms" that are "magically delicious"  He's either a pedophile or drug dealer you ask me.  Nah, leprechauns generally have a steady moral compass unless you mess with their pot of gold, yes, the kind at the end of rainbows.  Leps are the guardians of one of the great treasures of the faerie world.  Steal a gold piece and it can grant large magical boosts, ingredient for some of the rarer potions, and well, it's a large coin made of gold.

but steal one and a leprechaun will just about rip you to pieces.  Frelling unreasonable about it.  Steal a whole pot, however, and you can control them.  The walker is working for someone who managed to steal the pot.  You and the walker served as distractions while Thorn snuck in and stole Gae Bolg.

The problem with all this is Gae Bolg is useless if stolen like this.  To get the full effect, one has to complete the training under Scathach, prove worthy, and be entrusted with the spear to accomplish their goal.  The only thing this is going to do is bring down a lot of wrath on whoever has it.

We have 2 options, I'm leaving it to you.  We can help the gnomes, who are being persecuted heavily, free them, they'll likely agree to help us, and they can provide information.  Great spies, the gnomes, very good at getting places quickly and unseen.

The other option is start looking for the pot. We get that reclaimed, Thorn will owe us, and that's a useful ally.  Right now, those are probably our best choices. 

<Well, I'm a man of my word, and I've already promised David here that I'd help him out, so I'd say that's where I'll have to start.>

Israel turns to David, <So, what do I need to know?>

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 20):

<Malicious spirit. It has been attacking my people. Whole groves of gnomes wiped out.>

<If my guess is correct, we'll need to lure it to the mortal realm, which of course means night time. We don't have to, you understand, but it will be much easier to deal with.  It won't come out during the day, unless absolutely necessary, and it will be cautious about appearing in the Real World.  That works for us, we need to leave the NeverNever anyway, it will be easier, I think, to track several of these things from our world.

<Sounds good to me. What do we use as bait?>

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 22):

David frowns, furrows his brow, then says, glumly We'll have to use my clan.  We're one of the biggest left.  We'll move, make it look like we're fleeing, you two set a trap, then we catch it.

There is a problem with that plan.  I can help you combat it, but none of my solutions will permanently guarantee the spirit leaves the gnomes alone.  Well, we could potentially kill it, but I'm a druid, which puts me solidly in the opposition of that plan. We can bind it, but we'll need a consultation to do that.  Most especially someone skilled in creating items capable of storing large amounts of supernatural energy.  Know anyone who might help you?

Israel's brow briefly furrows in concentration. "Horace, the magical 'gadget guy' at the base can probably whip something up, but I haven't known him long enough to know his capabilities.  If for some reason he can't, he should at least be able to point us in the right direction. As for whether he'd bee willing to help...we'll just have to see.  He can be a bit brusque, but seems to like me so far."

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 24):

The trip to the other side will take a few minutes, feel free to ask any questions you have before we get there. For example, you undoubtedly wondered how I know so much about you.  I was told by someone who has read your file and gave me the highlights.

The great thing about traveling with a druid is one tends to run into less trouble than normal. You find the old man a wealth of information about the local plants, the creatures in these parts, the best ways to avoid being eaten by them, or the plants.

<Really? I have to ask who? I don't assume many people even HAVE access to Interpol or Mossad files, so I'd guess it's a short list.>

<When we catch this guy/thing/whatever, what do you plan to do with him?  Is there like a vault or something, where you keep 'evil spirit jars'?>

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 26):

Depends, I usually toss the bad ones in rivers.  Keeps 'em weak, and hard to find.  If it is being coerced, we might liberate it, or take ownership of it.  Some wizards use beings like this as assistants, almost like those...what's the word..cal..no..computers, yeah, for wizards. 

<That...sounds incredibly useful, actually. Interesting.>

<You still haven't answered the first question - who gave you my file?>

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 28):

<You're former Mossad, so you know the danger in asking questions.  Ask a third time and I'll tell you,you just have to be sure you want to know.  As for the usefulness, I'm starting to think it is being controlled by a wizard already.  They normally wouldn't stalk a group this way.>

You are tired when you finally reach what LD calls your destination.  He suggests you take a break and finish talking.  David takes his leave to gather his people.  LD knows how to keep in touch with him.

<Wait, is this the three times compel thing? I won't force you to answer. That's something I try to avoid.  It goes a against a core belief of my people, and one I hold exceptionally dear - Free Will.  I would of course like to know, as informed decisions require knowledge, but that knowledge must be freely given.>

<So, if the spirit is controlled by an evil wizard, how has the Council not discovered him?  I don't exactly know much about the Council, but the British Isles are kind of their territory, and I got the impression that they don't much care for rogue wizards.>

Israel's eyes dart back and forth, surveying the area as he speaks, getting the lay of the land, and watching for the unexpected.

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 30):

For a moment Ledrew appears taken aback, and begins laughing, an honest, open laugh.  <The council doesn't care much rogue wizards?  Hah!  That is definitely an understatement.  You raise an excellent point, excellent, and troubling.  It could indicate the council is busy and not paying attention, it could also indicate the rogue wizard is extremely careful, or perhaps he has no idea about them, but I find that hard to believe.  Or maybe he is great enough, or vain enough to believe he has nothing to fear from them.  Worse still, he may not have anything to fear from them.

Israel, I think I like you, may nature forgive me and pity you.  I am not using the "three compel thing" I am simply making sure you understand that knowledge is power. Answering your question requires giving you knowledge, insight, and power over someone else.

Bah, I'm no spy, and don't care for secrets, so here it goes.  Rivkah is my granddaughter.  I met her in Ghana and noticed something was different about her.  Imagine my surprise to discover my firebrand had voluntarily soulgazed with someone! I did my job, young man, as her grandfather, and only living relative, I questioned incessantly.   She didn't answer at first, so I journeyed with her to the Isle of Sky, when you appeared, I made her tell me the rest of what I needed to know.

Yes, that means she was there, ordered to keep her presence secret and not reveal herself to you.  I cannot reveal everything.  I may not care much for secrets, but some truths are not mine to reveal.  I volunteered to accompany you to get to know you, take your measure, and, well, it made sense for us to travel together.

Alright, time to cross over.  I'll teach you how to open a door, it'll be easier for me that way.>

It takes a few minutes, and at last you are pretty sure you understand how to open a path to the NeverNever, and vice versa.

It is Israel's turn to laugh <Wait, were you worried I'd be mad at her for not revealing herself on the Island?> He laughs again. <I am Mossad, sir. I know all about operational secrecy - you should hear how they recruited me.  I bear her no ill will for following orders.>

<Though I have to say, this a very nontraditional way to 'meet the family.'> he adds with a lopsided grin.

Israel pays close attention to the process of opening the way, mentally taking notes for future use.




(OOC - on a side note....still waiting for you to post in my game...)

In reply to Israel Levy (msg # 32):

You pass through what appears to be a rip through space and time, leaving the world of faeries and angry militant women behind, returning to the homeland and golf and haggis.

I'll have to wait around here. I see a tree near the compound, I'll go talk to it while you go inside.  Let them know yer alive, then go talk to yer man about containing a spirit.

Maybe it's because I haven't been here in a while, but the air doesn't taste right.  Something's wrong.  Hah, probably pollution and global warming.

One last thing, on the personal note, I know you soulgazed Rebekah.  I have a decent idea of what you saw. Attending the school on the Isle of Sky could possibly give her the power to reach her goal, but the cost may possibly be far higher than she expects. Most of those women are consumed with anger and hate. Hopefully, that will not be her case, but I'm afraid it will be, unless acted upon by an outside influence.

Alright, enough talk, go inside, find what we need.

Note to self - make sure Rivkah doesn't become crazy angry woman...or crazier angrier woman.
Addendum - Look up Isle of Sky, so you know what the frell people are talking about.
Addendum 2 - Careful with recurring internal monologues - might be bad for sanity.
Addendum 3 - I am wizard. Screw Sanity.


<Got it, I'll just be a...wait did you say talk to a tree? Never mind, I don't want to know. Today's been weird enough as it is.>

Israel heads into the base, via the direct route to bypass the "mundanes", straightening his attire along the way, as it is probably quite a shambles after being kidnapped and drug around. He enters and announces "Is Horace around? I need his help to save David and the Gnomes so they can help me recover a magical MacGuffin stolen by a villainous something or another allied with He-who-walks-likes-Betty-White-and-sometimes-Jimmy-Stewart." He waits a beat - to absorb the expected blank stares - before adding "Oh, and does anyone have the time? Dimensional travel always leaves one so confused...and kind of hungry, actually. Does anyone have a Snickers?"