Re: Episode 1.04: Aces and Eights
Mike wasn’t sure the man standing a little ways down the alley was a vampire, but he showed all the signs, the leather jacket, the whole look-at-me bad boy attitude. He probably knew what kind of vibe he gave off, and that was probably why he fixed Mike with such a suspicious look when he strode into the alley toward him, smiling his brightest smile.
”Hey, bro, you got a light?” He grinned, and showed his pack of Lucky Strikes. The vamp considered him coldly, then nodded slowly, and pulled a matchbook out of the breast pocket of his leather jacket, and lit a match, cradling it carefully in his hands before offering it. Mike accepted the light with a grateful nod, and then took a long drag. ”Thanks, bro. You want one?” He offered the pack, and the vampire nodded again, accepted it, and pulled out and lit a cigarette for himself.
”Thanks,” he finally said, after a few drags. Not talkative, this one. It fit.
”Nice night,” Mike offered, after a few more drags. ”I mean, seems like it, right? Warm, kind of breezy. I love this weather. Still, I got the weirdest freakin’ feeling, you know? Like some really bad shit’s about to go down. Know what I mean?” The vampire shrugged. Mike shook his head. ”Not everybody, I guess. See, though, my girlfriend works near here. Has to walk right near here every night to get to work. Crazy, right? A nice neighborhood this really ain’t. I mean, if you were some young cutie, would you want to walk by a hundred little alleys like this one every night? Girl’s fearless. Even she’s getting this vibe, though. Had this feeling the last few nights, like she’s being followed. Who’d do that shit, you know? Follow some poor young thing around late at night, scare her half to death? Awful, right?”
”Awful,” the vamp said, without really agreeing, breathing smoke in Mike’s general direction. Mike pretended not to notice.
”What gets me is, she’s this girl. This little thing. I mean, what’s she gonna do? Pepper spray him? Kick him in the nuts, she gets lucky? Yeah, maybe. Probably not too likely, though. But this guy, this creep – if there even is a guy, right? – this guy, he can’t even work up the nerve to go after this one little girl.”
”Huh,” was all the vampire said. His voice had taken on a sour tone. Mike smiled, and starting pouring it on; he spoke with more vehemence, began to make bigger gestures.
”Yeah. Freaking chicken. That's what really pisses me off. I mean, being a monster is one thing. Being some chickenshit gutless monster, that's... well, I mean, what the hell is it? Who is that guy? Nobody. Waste of life." The vampire growled. Mike acted like he hadn't heard. "It's stupid, but I guess that's why I'm walking around, you know. Find this piece of shit who's screwing with my girl, tell him just what he is to his face, watch him fall apart like a sweater with a loose thread, right? Yeah, that would be sweet."
”Yeah? Well I guess it's your lucky...” The vamp's face changed, but by the time he had turned to face Mike, it was too late, and he was staring right into the barrel of of Mike’s hand cannon, just in time to get a blast between the eyes. He was dust before he had a chance to do anything else, and Mike was left alone in the alley with a smoking gun in one hand, and a stake in the other, breathing hard with adrenaline.
"I guess it is, bloodsucker." With a grin, he put the stake away and pulled a cell phone out of his jacket pocket, and punched in a number. "Trish? It's Mike Gonzalez. Yeah, I found him. No, no, it's fine. He won't be bothering you anymore. What? No, honestly, I didn't ask. Maybe you looked like his sister from three hundred years ago. Yeah, yeah, I know. Now, um, about the bill... yeah, I understand, Trish. No, I got it, but you have to understand, this is what I do for a living... uh huh... well, ok. Just get me something this week, so I can make rent, ok? We can figure out a, whatchacallit, installment plan, or whatever. Alright? Ok, thanks Trish. Talk to you later."
Before his client's voice was out of his ear, though the silence of the alley was interrupted by the sound of applause. ”Look at this," came a silky smooth voice from the alley entrance. "Mike Gonzalez, PI. Gets his man, gets the girl, but can't necessarily get the check. Believe me, Mikey, I know the feeling.”
Mike didn’t have to turn around. ”Marty. My favorite half-human, half-something spiny.” He put the phone away, but not the gun, as he turned to face the… whatever Marty was. And his two vamp lackeys. ”Good to see you.”
”Wish I could say the same, Mikey.”
Mike feigned a look of horror. Hey, Marty, it just hit me... I owe you money, don’t I? Few hundred bucks for that tip you gave me about that Mothra reject a couple of months back, right? Aw, you must have thought I was trying to skip out or something.”
Marty wasn’t buying it. His vamps each took a step forward. ”’Or something,’ yeah.”
”Well, listen, Marty…” Mike said, flashing the smile again, taking a few steps back. ”I feel awful. Listen, you may have heard I switched jobs, or started my own business, more like. Things got a little tight for a while. But I just finished a job, see?” He gestures down at the pile of dust on the alley floor. ”Should see a little green in the next few days. I can make sure some of it goes your way.”
”Oh, Mikey, you’re making me feel like an asshole.” Marty said, shaking his head. The vamps took another step forward. ”You know that’s not how it works. Maybe before, but since they booted you off the Force..."
"You mean, 'since you started your own business.'
Marty looked skeptical. "Since you got booted off the Force, it's pretty common knowledge you haven't been making good on any of your debts. Doesn't your species have, like, fables that warn you about deals with demons, and not sticking to them exactly?" He shrugged. "And besides the fact that I sincerely doubt I'll be seeing any of my money any time soon, he was one of mine.” Marty, too, gestures at the pile of dust. ”Not a model employee. Too easily distracted, no balls. Still, it sends a message if one of my guys ends of dust on an alley floor. Sends another message if you end up splattered on an alley wall. You understand.”
”Marty, you’re killing me.” Mike's mind raced. Talking wasn't going to solve this one. Neither was shooting.
”That’s the idea.” The vamps charged now. Marty just watched, almost curiously. One chance to pull this off. He reached into his jacket like he was going for a second gun... but came back with a large wooden cross. The vampires recoiled, predictably. Mike shot one in the gut, tossed the cross at the other, and ran. Hopefully, he'd just bought himself enough seconds for this to work. The alley was a dead end, he knew, but there was a fire escape around the corner, if he could reach it. He turned the corner at a full run. There was a crack, like lightning, and a bright light in his face. Blinded, he tripped over some bit of refuse, and fell…
As Mike made his way up the stairs of the mansion, the sound of chirping birds grew louder. He peaked into the room. A colorful menagerie of feathers flitted about the room. An old, strange looking man sat in the big leather chair behind the desk. He gently stroked a red bird that resembled a canary as it sat on his finger. He did not look at the doorway that hid the intruder.
“Ah! Mr. Gonzalez. Do come in and sit if it suits you. I have been waiting for you. We have much to discuss.”