Tales of the First Men.   Posted by GM.Group: 0
GM
 GM, 292 posts
Wed 4 Mar 2015
at 14:44
Tales of the First Men
Here I will collect stories and legends about the First Men.

Please feel free to add any that come to mind if you'd like.  They can be original, re-skins of classic myths, re-skins of movies, I don't care.

They can be fun, funny, serious or whatever you want and feel free to put your own spin on the lore.  They can even contradict, as actual oral mythology was want to do, but please keep them in the spirit of the setting.
GM
 GM, 293 posts
Wed 4 Mar 2015
at 14:45
Mun and the Wind
From a Boy in Staghead

Initially, Belarius created the wind to spread seeds, cool farmers and such.  It also allowed hunters to avoid being smelled by their prey, and thus made life in the hills possible.  The farmers were impressed and very appreciative.  Mun, who happened to be by, was not impressed by the wind, as he claimed he could make wind any time he had a steady diet of beans.  This he demonstrated to great applause, but was ultimately decided to be less useful than Belarius' version.

The wind, though good, brought bitter cold in winter.  Sherax thus invented fire by smashing two logs together.  The farmers were again happy and praised Sherax.  Mun, not wanting to be outdone again, proclaimed that he too could create fire and he made his wind upon the flames.  The resulting explosion burned poor Mun's arse so terribly that he could not sit for a week.
GM
 GM, 294 posts
Wed 4 Mar 2015
at 14:52
The Minstrel's Curse
So it came to be that Min was traveling with his nephew, who was apprenticed to him.  So as not to overshadow the boy and thus better instruct him, Min traveled incognito.

Eventually their wanderings took them to the small kingdom of a horrible tyrant, a petty and cruel man hated by subjects and enemies alike.

Min and his nephew entertained for several days in the tyrant's court and he was much impressed by their skill.  Being cruel, and desiring nothing so much as to be immortalized in history, the evil king slew Min's nephew before his whole court.

"Now," he proclaimed, wiping the blood from his knife onto a tablecloth, "all singers and poets shall tell of my cruelty and I will live forever."

Min approached the dead boy and carefully laid his cloak over him, sending him on to the dream of Heaven.  Min then raised his head into the light and all knew immediately who he was.

"You are indeed as cruel as you devise," Min agreed, "But nowhere near as clever, for I shall tell none of what you have done today.  The boy's parents will hear that he died hunting and there will be no mention of you or your kingdom in my songs.  Furthermore, wherever I go I shall pass this message on to my fellow minstrels, poets, bards, thespians and actors: there is to be no word spoken nor no note played of you, your deeds or your family.  This is the minstrels curse."

Thus, the name of this evil king is not known to us today.
GM
 GM, 385 posts
Fri 20 Mar 2015
at 13:19
The Traitor Son


In the great campaign to rid the world of Demonic influence, Hyrium lead his forces while Magalan and Juggernaut rode on the flanks to protect their king.

The campaign had been going on for many years already, and the King and Queen needed all the allies they could get.  So it was that they would enter each town and city in their path and request an oath of allegiance to the royal court and toward the destruction of all the forces of the Dream of Hell.

So it came to pass that Hyrium, in approaching a large town, was forced by the weather to make camp.  He had hoped to make the town before nightfall, but this proved impossible.  His son, his own blood, offered to take a small cadre into the town to establish its allegiances.  Hyrium agreed this was sufficient and bade his son good fortune.

The son rode hard and made the walls of the town quickly.  Once there, he found that those within had already fallen under dark influence.  Witches and demons ran amok and the people, being promised great power and fortune by such, had sworn oaths in blood to protect them against Hyrium and Galeena.

The son, being treacherous, did not report this back to his father.  Instead, he struck a deal with the evil townsfolk:  deliver Hyrium's head to them in exchange for their loyalty in his revolution.  Thus when the son took his father's place in the throne, the town would have proved itself leal and would be held highest among his properties.

The people agreed and the son departed immediately.

First, the son rode north to find the forces of Magalan.  There he disguised himself as Juggernaut and, before Magalan, bragged of the savagery with which he had already destroyed the town in Hyrium's name and thus there was no need to prepare forces for the following day.

From there, the son rode south to find the forces of Juggernaut.  There he, in disguise as Magalan, bragged of the elegance with which he had already routed the traitorous forces of the town, and thus there was no need to prepare forces for the following day.

Finally, the son rode to his father and, head bowed and on one knee, told falsehoods of the town's good intentions, and that they wished to welcome him with open arms at the dawn of the new day.

Thus fooled, Hyrium consented to ride into town with only minimal honor guard while the bulk of his forces were left behind.  Hyrium, being wise, sent word to Juggernaut and Magalan to take positions to the north and south of the town, but as they were unprepared, their progress was slow.

As soon as Hyrium set foot within the town's walls he was set upon by all sides while his son found excuse to be elsewhere at the critical moment.

It was only with great fortune, courage and prowess that the king escaped with his life, though he was gravely wounded.

As soon as he made it back to his camp and began to rally the rest of his forces, his son appeared and made grand speeches about the treachery of the town, how they had played him false.  He threw himself down before his father and professed his apologies.

In a rage, Hyrium ordered the town razed to the ground with no survivors and no mercy afforded not even to the children, women or infirmed, not even to those innocent of crime who begged for mercy.  Not one stone was left upon another and not one working or tool was left unbroken.

It was only after the slaughter, when Hyrium gathered with his generals Magalan and Juggernaut to celebrate that they realized the truth of the matter.  By that time the son was long gone.

Thus the son became the Great Traitor.  Or so some say...
Enrei Omal'i
 player, 337 posts
 Killing bad
 Wrestling good
Sun 17 May 2015
at 04:27
Juggernaut and the Giant
After Hyrium and Galeena united their kingdoms, there were still some small tribes that refused to bow to the first king and queen, whether because of simple rebellion,  an ingrained refusal to accept civility, or some secret machinations of the Traitor.  Whatever the cause, most of them were wild and savage, living as raiders and bandits at the empire's fringes.

Among these savage tribes was one warrior who called himself Brahg.  Brahg was a behemoth of a man, standing taller than a house with strength enough to tear trees from the earth to swing like clubs or crush stones in his bare hands.  And always was he glad to boast to any around him of his prowess and his deeds.

One day as Brahg regaled some men with his recent feats of strength, a wandering minstrel happened upon them.  The minstrel had not yet heard of Brahg, and the giant was eager to share his tales.  However, every story Brahg told, the minstrel replied with a tale of how Juggernaut, the greatest warrior of Hyrium's kingdom, had done even greater deeds with even more ease.

After each of the minstrel’s stories, Brahg would wave off the tale, saying how “I would have done just as well given the chance,” or “If it had been me, I would have known better than to carry all three cows in the first place,” and he would attempt to impress the minstrel with another of his own tales again.  Each time he failed to prove his greatness and with each story the minstrel told him he grew angrier and angrier until he was so incensed that he demanded the minstrel lead him back to the empire, that he could face Juggernaut and determine who was truly the greatest warrior.

The journey to the capital took Brahg and his minstrel past many of Brahg’s tribesmen.  To everyone they passed, Brahg proclaimed quite loudly how he was on his way to defeat Juggernaut, and to any who would listen, he boasted of all his past deeds, of his great strength, and how this battle would be only the latest of his many accomplishments.  To the minstrel, it seemed every story was even more fantastic than the first time he had heard them.

When they finally arrived at the capital of the first great empire, a throng of tribesmen had accompanied Brahg, eager to see their greatest warrior defeat the famous Juggernaut.  Brahg shouted at the city walls, “I an Brahg, the greatest warrior the world has known, and I have come to challenge the Juggernaut to a duel.”  There was no reply for some time, and Brahg took the silence as an opportunity to laugh and point out to the crowd how Juggernaut was clearly a coward.

Eventually, however, the gate of the city opened, and Juggernaut strode out to meet his opponent.  Juggernaut is known to be a massive, powerful man, but still he was just a man, and Brahg looked down at him and laughed as he approached, “This is the Juggernaut?  How could you ever hope to defeat me from all the way down there?” and the crowd joined in his mockery, laughing and throwing insults. The minstrel who had accompanied them, however, simply stepped out of the way as Juggernaut did not so much as break his stride as he walked toward the giant.

The laughter had not died down by the time Juggernaut stood toe-to-toe with Brahg, but when Juggernaut raised his foot and stomped down on Brahg’s own toes, the crunch of the colossus’s bones drove the crowd to silence, save for Brahg who howled in pain.  The giant pulled his foot up but lost his balance in trying to save himself further abuse, and fell to his knees.  Again Juggernaut gave no pause as he reeled his fist back and punched Brahg right in his stomach.  The wind flew from Brahg’s lungs and he doubled over in a fit of coughing (of course, some story tellers will try to convince you it was Brahg’s balls that bore the brunt of the blow, and it was not a fit of coughing, but a scream like that of a little girl that saw him bent over).  At this point Juggernaut turned and ran, but when Brahg finally opened his teary eyes he did not see Juggernaut’s retreating back, for the warrior had stopped and waited for his massive enemy to regain his composure before delivering his final blow right between Brahg’s eyes.  It is said the crack that echoed from Brahg’s skull could be heard for miles.  As his opponent slumped to the ground in defeat, Juggernaut finally spoke, though he had much less bravado than his foe, “Your feet are ‘all the way down here,’” he said, then looked to the crowd behind Brahg as he continued, “How could you ever hope to defeat me when you don’t even know where you stand?” This time, they did not laugh.

This message was last edited by the player at 14:25, Tue 19 May 2015.

GM
 GM, 853 posts
Tue 1 Dec 2015
at 21:35
The Man Who Could Not Die
Told by Bryce; brigand and demonspeaker.

"A while back, there was a deamonspeaker got pretty good at getting what he wanted from demons and pulling one over on the, so's they got nothing in return.  Cagey fucker, and the demons all hated him but he was too clever for them and each time they thought they could get the better of him, he gave them the slip.

Well, he got on in years and realized that when the time came to shuffle off from this Dream, he'd like as not wind up in the Dream of Hell with all of his erstwhile friends.  Well that didn't sit with him so he set his mind to finding a way out of it.  Well I don't know the how, but the way I heard it, he found a way to get himself blocked from ever entering The Dream of Hell.  Maybe he tricked some powerful demon into banning him, I'm not sure but he figured that if he was a sinner and couldn't go to Hell, well he'd just stay in this Dream forever.

So there he was, feeling all proud of himself when he came to a bridge, the crossing of the roads of earth and water.  Well, right there in the middle were three children waiting for him, one poor and sickly, one tall and hale, one strange and eerie.

They blocked his path but he meant to walk right on by, them being children and all.  When he went to cross the bridge, the children spoke all together, like they rehearsed it a millionfold.  They told him that no man could escape the judgement of God and it was not his place to decide which Dream was his fate.

The demonspeaker laughed and walked on, but before he knew it the children grabbed hold of his legs and started dragging him with unearthly strength.  Oh he kicked and screamed 'till his throat was sore, but it did no good.

Well, according to the teller of this story, he was a wicked man and so couldn't go to Heaven and he was barred from Hell so couldn't go there. Instead, he was dragged through the stars and through the Dream, dragged forever so as he was always on that bridge, never able to leave, but outside of time itself."
Deev
 NPC, 25 posts
 Nervous street rat
 Facechanger
Fri 18 Mar 2016
at 15:32
The General and the Red Shirt
Told by Deev from Thorngate:

"Once, there was a great general, known to all as a fierce warrior.  Time and again he would lead his soldiers into battle against impossible odds:  hordes of western savages, battalions of demons, Ogres from the frozen north, you name it he fought it.  His attending officers thought him almost as great as the First Men, and attended to his every word so they could learn from his example.

One captain, after a particularly bloody battle, asked the General:

'Sir, I have oft noticed that you are very attentive to your routine before combat.  I know that a warrior is always well prepared, as has spoke Magalan, but your routine has one quirk the significance of which eludes me.  Why is it, sir General, that before each battle you don only a red shirt?'

The General stared down his captain, then nodded approvingly. 'You see,' he explained, 'The General is the heart of the army, and the soul of the men.  To see me at the front lines, felling foes without being wounded, it inspires them more than any banner or war cry.  And so, I wear a red shirt, such that no man can see me bleed.  This makes me seem more than mortal, and inspires the men.'

The Captain nodded in approval, seeing the wisdom there.

And so it came to pass that weeks later, the General's army was faced with it's most terrible foe: an army of corrupted men led by the demon Baal.  The enemy horde was so deep that their footfalls shook the earth, their combined breaths caused a tornado, and their arrows blotted out the sun itself.  Behind them all stood Baal himself: as big as a mountain and as terrible as the end of the world.

The General stood and took this all in, while his officers rushed to prepare him for battle.  The faithful Captain rushed to his master's side:  'Sire,' he asked, 'shall I bring you your red shirt?'

The General gazed upon the enemy and shook his head.  'No, good Captain, bring me my brown pantaloons.'"
GM
 GM, 1351 posts
Wed 26 Apr 2017
at 13:39
The Lost Bard in Hell
In reply to Deev (msg # 7):

And so it came to pass that the royal bard in Hyrium and Galeena's court took a lover.  He was so smitten with her that his every song was in her praise.  Never before had such beautiful music been heard, save for that of Min himself.  Though the young couple were poor, they were very happy.

But this was not to last, for on the eve of the bard's wedding, his young bride-to-be was bitten on the ankle by a demonic serpent, and died.  Through the evil of this serpent, her soul was ported to the Dream of Hell, to be forever among the wicked.

The young bard was so distressed, that he fell into a deep melancholy that permeated the entire kingdom.  He sung only sad songs of loss and misery and vowed never again to smile.

Galeena was taken with the young bard, however, and commanded Min to help in any way he could.  Taking up his lyre, Min played a song both dark and beautiful and in so powerful a tone as to catch the attention of those in the Dream of Hell, causing a great fissure to open in the earth.

"Climb down and follow this path," Min commanded the sad bard, "and you will find your love and recover her from the Dream of Hell.  But take heed, the demons will try to trick you.  Accept no gifts from them, take only your beloved."

The young bard eagerly agreed and climbed quickly down into the fissure.  He followed a long and tortuous path, but eventually found himself in the great black inky sea of the Dream of Hell.

There he encountered a demon, Hades the Chainmaster.

"I have heard Min's song and am pleased," Hades said sourly.  "I will permit you to take your beloved back.  I will even show you the path." With that, a trial of small lights appeared in the mire, leading the young bard on.

"Beware," Hades added with a chuckle.  "Once you pluck her from the sea, do not allow her to touch it again, or we shall claim her soul once more."

The young bard nodded and wadded quickly through the sea, following the trail.  He passed the souls of many wicked dead, but paid them no heed.

Finally, he found his young lover, and hoisted her gratefully from the icy waters.

He turned and began to walk back, whispering promises of a great life into her ears.

As he trudged, he came to notice that the small lights forming his path were in fact coins of silver.  He paid them no heed.

As he walked, the small silver coins turned to gold, and became bigger and heavier as he continued.

"Certainly," thought the young bard, "they will not miss one or two.  After all, this gold was certainly ill-gotten, and I can give my beloved a much better life if we do not need to sing and beg for our bread."

But as he bent over to pick up one of the coins, the toe of his lover touched the surface of the water.  Immediately, she was sucked down under the blackness and no matter how he searched, the young bard could not find her.

And so to this day, he wanders the black waters, wading hip deep in frigid darkness, searching forever for his lover.

This message was lightly edited by the GM at 13:39, Wed 26 Apr 2017.

Deev
 NPC, 66 posts
 Nervous street rat
 Facechanger
Fri 21 Jul 2017
at 16:54
The Dare and the Great Tree
Told by Deev along a wooded path:

Long ago, when the world was still new: Belarius was roaming the Kingdom breeding all manner of new plants.  After grasses, shrubs, and the like, he decided to work on something else, something more grand.  He had seen how Sherax was revered for creating things of great scale: towers, bridges, castles, and the like, and wanted to create something that was just as impressive, but that could also convey the calm and peace of nature.

Thus, Belarius bred the tallest grasses and the stoutest shrubs until he had created a tree.  This was a great and mighty tree, far bigger than anything alive today, and far bigger than you can imagine.  It reached skyward for miles and would have taken an hour to walk around it.  While Belarius was quietly pruning, the First Men came to inspect his creation.

Hyrium smiled and clapped Belarius on the back, "This is indeed wonderful.  It is tall, strong, and robust.  I am much impressed my friend!"

Giggling, Galeena noted to her husband that size was not everything, and perhaps this one was a bit too large to be of much use.  Hyrium blushed and the pair departed.

Kragga shrugged.  "No way to tell if it's too big unless you try first," she noted indifferently. But she did note how the birds, squirrels, insects, and other beasts took to the tree as their new home, and she thus judged it to be good and departed.

Sherax too was impressed, noting that although not as complicated or having as many features as many of her creations, it had a certain beauty in that it was natural and simple.  Thus she departed.

Salaazari merely noted its dimensions, density, and other statistics calmly and carefully, but made no judgement, especially "without other specimens to compare to".  He too departed.

Besides Belarius, only Ruuk and Juggernaut remained.  Ruuk carefully circled it, knocking on this part or that as if testing its strength. "Certainly it is impressive," Ruuk noted
absently.  "And certainly it is the largest."

Juggernaut bristled.  "Perhaps.  But it could not stand up to me."

Ruuk nodded knowingly, as if absorbing great wisdom.  "Oh certainly.  None in any Dream is a match for your power.  Why, even the mountains would fall to but one of your mighty fists."

"This is true," Juggernaut agreed.

Ruuk paused before rushing on, "That much is known.  What is not known, what COULD, by some fools obviously, be called into question, is the might of the rest of you."

Juggernaut raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Ruuk continued, "your hands and feet, most certainly are feared by all, but what of your cock?  Is it as mighty as the rest of you?"  Ruuk glanced at the tree suggestively.  "Is it as mighty as this tree?"

By now, Juggernaut was red with anger.  Muttering something about "actions vs
words", he stomped forward, dropped his trousers and lunged, slapping the great
tree with his cock.

The pain from the impact was so painful that Juggernaut fell to his knees, leaving Ruuk rolling in laughter, as this was angling for.

However, unseen by both Ruuk and Juggernaut, Magalan was standing on the other side of the great tree.  Seeing the trap Ruuk was laying, he waited to the moment just before the blow, and went to work on the opposite side of the tree with his axe.  So quick was Magalan, that he had hewn more than halfway through before Juggernaut fell back to the ground.

Then, as Ruuk laughed himself into fits, he and Juggernaut looked up to see the great tree crash down onto the ground, smashing the countryside for miles.

Thus, though he limped slightly, Juggernaut walked away with a smile on his lips while Ruuk was left scratching his head in awe and confusion.

Belarius, seeing his work toppled, sighed and went about making more trees, ones of more modest size that would not inspire such foolery.

In the years that followed, the great log was hollowed out by the people who followed the Fist Men, and made into a great city.

The story of Logtown, or Juggernaut's Bane, is one for another time...

This message was lightly edited by the player at 16:54, Fri 21 July 2017.

Titus Blackwell
 player, 1884 posts
 Suffered his first loss
 Not happy about it.
Thu 21 Sep 2017
at 12:41
The Giant's Challenge
Long ago, the juggernaut, Mun, and Ruuk were traveling forth from Hyrium's court.  Along the way they saw a giant... as such things were common back then.  The giant beckoned them forth and seeing who they were and knowing them for their strength laughed heartily and told them that if they may they could test their mettle in the secret city of Nerenfell.

The Juggernaut eagerly accepts his offer and the giant leads them to the city gates.  They are brought into a great hall where a great king is sitting on his throne.

"Aaaah.  Humans!"  His voice booms.

"We have not had any humans here for generations.  This city is founded on the honor won by those in competition.  Step forward little ones and tell me your strengths.  I will pit you against the weakest of my competition... so it may be fair.  Name your game."

The first to step up is, of course, Mun, being too stupid to know otherwise.

"I'm VERY good at drinking!"  He slurs as he already started earlier that morning.

The king smiles and claps his giant hands with the sound of thunder.

"Bring me my drinking horn!"

And a group of smaller giants drag a very large drinking horn.  He drinks deeply for a long while and wiping his chin says.

"All of the men among us can drain it in a single go.  The women and children will sometimes take two.  Your turn."

He hands the horn over to Mun who drinks and drinks deeply.  Drinking like none have seen before.  Finally he comes up for air, gasping.

A bit salty for mead... he says wiping his chin proudly.  He looks into the horn only to see that it went down as much as his finger.

Mun's brow furrows and as he leans into horn again drinking even deeper this time.  The Juggernaut almost stopped him as no man should be able to consume this amount, when he puts the horn down again.

"Sometimes they need to take a third drink..." the giant rumbles noticing that the horn only dipped another thumbslength.

Mun straightens his back takes a breath and then proceeds to drink and drink and drink and drink.  Ruuk stares on slack jawed, having instigated many of Mun's blind nights of drinking knowing that this was remarkable even for him.

Suddenly, Mun passes out.  The liquor from the horn spilling around him.

The smaller giants pick up the horn and carry it away.

"Too bad.  The giant rumbles, I had hoped... At any rate, let us continue the feast.  You there, Juggernaut.  I imagine you would be interested in a physical battle."

The juggernaut says nothing, chewing iron ingots and spitting nails into his hands.

"Very well, go wake my dear old dad over there and he will wrestle you."

He says indicating an old giant with a long white beard and white hair snoring gently off to one side.

The Juggernaut goes over and clambors onto the old giant tapping him on the forehead.

"HEY!  OLD MAN!  WAKE UP!"

There is no response from the old giant as he continues to snore.  The Juggernaut hits him again, this time harder, with the same result.  Finally the Juggernaut balls up his fist and punches with all his might, and the old giant's eyes fly open and he sleepily says.

"I dreamed that I was asleep under an acorn tree and one of the acorns just fell on me... no matter."

With that he lays back down and falls asleep.  Not to be outdone, the juggernaut goes to lift the hand of the giant to drop it down onto a pin, but strain as he might, he could only get part of a finger off of the ground.

"He is a heavy sleeper"  The giant rumbles.  "I'm afraid that if you cannot wake him, I cannot allow you to wrestle him.  It would be unfair to you."

Finally Ruuk steps silently out of the shadows.

"None is quieter or more stealthy than I. "

The giant gestures and a wizened old giant with a hump on her back, thin to the point of falling over steps over to his side.

"Very well, this is my old nana.  We shall continue the feast, an whoever can remove my purse without me knowing shall be declared the winner."

Ruuk nods solemnly and steals through the feast silent as a shadow, quick as a javelin.  As he positions himself behind the giant to take the purse, a hand suddenly comes out of nowhere and deftly plucks it from the pouch and makes it disappear up her sleeve.

"BUT WHERE?  WHEN?  HOW?!!!!!!"

Ruuk grits his teeth in frustration watching his prize get snatched from his teeth.

The giant turns and sees Ruuk dancing angrily, but no sign of his nana.

"Too bad, I had such high hopes for you."  The giant rumbles.

"Now, let us eat, and tomorrow I will walk you to the border of our lands"

The next day the group gathered up Mun, who had still not woken up in a cart and walked forth with the giant all dejected until they reach the end of his territory.  Just as they cross the border the giant begins laughing.

"Whats so funny?" Ruuk sneers at the giant.

The giant shimmers a moment and he shrinks until he is of a size of the last men.  They recognize the hooded visage of the betrayer, laughing.

"I had known you were powerful, but you put on a show for the ages last night."

Ruuk and the Juggernaut attempt to take a step back into the Betrayers land but stop short, frozen.  (S)He gestures to a collapsed mountain.

"Juggernaut, that was your opponent last night... Oh, and that mountain range over there is new as well...

Oh and Ruuk?  Your oponent was none other than Dea..."

This is interrupted by a massive belch from Mun that causes all three to shrink away from the cart.

"POTTY POTTY POTTY..."

Mun mumbles as he staggers out of the cart, rights himself like a falling cat, the weaves a ways away unleashing a torrent of piss, groaning loudly.

The betrayer shakes their cloaked head in a way that indicates their disgust.  Sighing (s)he continues

'Mun was drinking none other than the ocean itself.  Hyrium will be pleased to know that he has been the recipient of some new lands, fresh raised from the ocean.'

'I now realize the best way to protect my castle from you is to never let you find it again.

Good bye'

And with that the castle, the city, and the lands all disappear.  Just about at this time Mun staggers his way back,

WHADDI MISH?!

He says slurrring.

'Nothing, get in the cart.'  Ruuk says feeling very angry.  'Was this lake always here?  It smells like piss!'
Ciryl Fontaine
 player, 264 posts
 Cure for what ails you
 At a reasonable price
Sun 29 Jul 2018
at 19:07
My Wife She is an Ogre
It is widely accepted that Min wrote the first love song to win the heart of his wife, however this is not entirely accurate.  Min wrote the first love song to Mun. It is a ballad of familial love and how it endures through time and trials.  Renditions of this first love song are sung to this day during holidays, celebrations and other large gatherings.  What is remembered by only  very few is that these two songs form the bookends of a quest on the part of First Artist to truly understand love.  After being inspired by Mun, his brother traveled the lands and took inspiration from many of the first men.  He wrote an ode to greed after seeing Ruuk's love for money, a battle hymn that Juggernaut would sing during every fight inspired by his love for combat and a song for the love of creativity inspired by his shared passion with Sherax and Megalan.  After traveling far and wide and writing so many songs and poems exploring the nature of love Min found himself in the company of Belarius, sharing a drink in a tavern on his way back to Hyrium's court.  Min spoke at length about all he had seen and learned, but lamented how he still did not fully appreciate the kind of romantic love a man and a woman could share, the kind of love that Hyrium and Galeena had, or that Belarius and Kragga shared.  Over the course of the conversation Belarius had been listening attentively and politely, but had also gotten quite deep in his cups and when Min brought up his wife, the First Farmer began to detail for the artist exactly what he thought of his wife, and their marriage.  Belarius took to bed immediately after his tirade was finished and Min spent most of the night writing a new song about what he now understood true love to be.  Fortunately, it was the next morning when he came across the woman who inspired his ultimate song, and who he would eventually marry.  Despite this revelation on the nature of romance, in some regions of the north Min's penultimate love song is still remembered fondly by all manner of bawdy tavern singers.  Over the years many permutations have appeared, but the refrain has lasted through the ages, reportedly straight from Belarius's mouth
quote:
My wife she is an ogre
she fills me with such dread
She screeches and she roars
she beats me bout the head
she’s got the shortest temper
that’s shrunk since we were wed
I swear that there’s no pleasing her
until the day I’m dead.

as has the final verse, which alters the refrain thus:
quote:
The reason why I married her
My wife is an ogre in bed
She screeches and she roars
every time her legs are spread
She’s got the biggest tits
that’ve grown since we were wed
As long as I keep pleasing her
She’ll fuck me till I’m dead.
The reason why I married her
My wife is an ogre in bed