2: By the Rivers of Babylon.   Posted by Dungeon Master.Group: 0
The Don
 player, 15 posts
 Do you know who I am?
 I'm The Don baby!
Tue 8 May 2018
at 21:19
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
The blood continues to pound through The Don as the blood of a second kobold drips from his fists. He sees red, oblivious to the condition of his compatriots.

Spurred on by his own success and a new found joy for physical exertion, The Don charges after the nearest, fleeing runt. He attempts to grab the retreating spearman by the neck and lob it directly at its former leader, pointy end first.

"Where do you think you are going?!" he roars across the hellscape.
Dungeon Master
 GM, 26 posts
 This is Hell
 Nor am I out of it
Wed 9 May 2018
at 09:10
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
Todd lands and begins rifling through the kobold camp. Sure enough, he finds a pouch of soul pieces, swindled from the dead fishermen, along with a couple of bags of maggots for the road.

While the kobolds' armour is too small for any of you to wear, the leather will fetch a price back at the village. You also find a pack, clearly belonging to the leader, containing a tiny set of priestly robes, a potion, and a stamped, official-looking letter.

The Don, meanwhile, goes about his business. It only takes him a few strides to catch up with the spearman, who he scoops up and straightens out before, in a scene straight out of Looney Tunes, throwing it at the leader.

The two kobolds collide, bowling both to the ground in a heap, which the Don approaches and stands over. You now have two prisoners.

The dust settles, you have won a victory. Not a huge one, but you realise now that you are not entirely powerless in this place. You can survive here in Hell, maybe even thrive. The thrill of conquest fills your damned souls, not with hope, there is no hope in this place, but with a cautious, calculating optimism.

OOC: Congratulations, you are all now level 2.

Gain:
94 soul pieces worth of loot and coin.
4 spears
1 light mace
1 light crossbow
13 bolts
1 light steel shield
1 unidentified potion
1 stamped, sealed letter

The Don
 player, 16 posts
 Do you know who I am?
 I'm The Don baby!
Wed 9 May 2018
at 11:27
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
Exhausted by his own displays of awesomeness, The Don takes a seat atop the entangled kobolds to ensure they do not escape.

"Now you two dweebs are gonna come with us, alive or dead, 'though I think alive could be more fun." He smiles disconcertingly at the kobolds as he speaks. "We're gonna scare the right honourable mayor of Crippletown and I need your help."

The Don rises to his feet and begins dragging the unwilling prisoners back to the rest of group. Using some loose bits of the leather, he attempts to tie the two together and dump them, head first, onto the rocky surface. "You losers take what you want," he says to the party, "but I'll be needing their heads." And with that he begins to behead the kobolds the best he can with the help of the edge of the steel shield.
Todd
 player, 11 posts
Wed 9 May 2018
at 16:49
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
Todd straps the spears onto its leathery hide with nary a second thought. They'd be more use to bats than anyone else here, that's for freaking sure. If everyone wasn't so preoccupied with all the excitement, they might even hear a quiet mutter of: 'Ah yeh, spears. Nature's rocks.' from the pile of dead kobolds.

Todd also makes sure the soul pieces are looked after, because it's pretty clear that The Don has forgotten that they were there. An assortment of the rest of the crap then gets tossed to various party members whenever the chance a glance at the deconstruction work. The potion gets gently arced over to Suspenderman, who seems like he likes a drink. The clerkic gets the letter hurled at him, he's gotta be good at that official shit like letters, for sure. The devil gets the mace thrown in his general direction, not because Todd thinks that'd be much use, but because it might cheer the poor blighter up a bit, or quieten him down if nothing else.

Finally, Todd straps the bolts to the crossbow and lobs them absent mindedly into the air away from the bloody scene, before once again leaping into the sky and taking flight. He's on the lookout for trouble, because let's face it, if they stay here, trouble will find them.

Especially here.
Dungeon Master
 GM, 27 posts
 This is Hell
 Nor am I out of it
Wed 9 May 2018
at 17:30
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
With some effort, the Don acquires four hacked-off kobold heads, one a bit mushy after Stitchface's cathartic beating.

Your prisoners watch in fearful silence. Heaven aint all it's cracked up to be.

Todd dishes up the loot and takes to the skies to keep watch. Despite the mist to the north and general dusty haze in other directions, the area appears clear for now.
Suspenderman
 player, 13 posts
 He played the 2c show
Fri 11 May 2018
at 22:23
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
The Suspenderman meanders over, scooping up the discarded crossbow and bolts, giving them a cursory inspection and then slinging them over his back. He then squats down in front of the two terrified Kobolds and grins a wicked, toothy grin.

"Funny, thought you guys would be bigger. Quite a mess y'all made of the locals, that all you? Or you got more friends out in this wasteland?"
Dungeon Master
 GM, 28 posts
 This is Hell
 Nor am I out of it
Mon 14 May 2018
at 10:17
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
The kobolds lived dutiful, obedient lives on the very bottom rung of the monster ladder, so they might be rewarded with positions of military empowerment in this, their twisted version of paradise.

As such, they deal with being prisoners of war pretty well. The spearman remains silent and defers to his leader who speaks for the pair.

"Staff Sergeant Meev'an. J-Squad, 3rd Platoon, D-Company, 2nd Battalion," he yips by way of introduction.

"Civilians? Dead civilians? No, not us. We track. Track the one who did it. You kill us for nothing, devilman!"

Come to think of it, there's no way in... well... no way in Hell that these little creatures could inflict the kind of damage you saw down by the river.
Suspenderman
 player, 14 posts
 He played the 2c show
Tue 15 May 2018
at 12:30
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
"Whoah whoah whoah! Easy there little man, we juss workin' with the intelligence at hand. If anyone is really to blame it's the nasties who DID attack civilians. B'sides, 'us' implies inclusion of the self, an' you my man are very much still alive ... an' b'sides again, in case you ain't noticed ... we in Hell! We all already dead anyways. Now I'll agree that happenstance ain't looked too kindly on the ill-fated J-Squad this day. But every hellish dust corona has a glistening silver lining, an' we here are that very lining. You say you were trackin' these nasties? Help us find 'em an we can clean up this here mess an' ensure everyone involved is suitably recompensed."
Dungeon Master
 GM, 29 posts
 This is Hell
 Nor am I out of it
Wed 16 May 2018
at 14:29
2: By the Rivers of Babylon


"No! Devilman can torture us, kill us, we will never betray our sacred duty! Orders, we have. Follow them into oblivion we will!"

Strange creatures. It's almost as if he's enjoying this sense of honour and purpose that he never possessed in life. Imagine having to die before you can find something worth dying for.
The Don
 player, 17 posts
 Do you know who I am?
 I'm The Don baby!
Wed 16 May 2018
at 21:04
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
Covered in more kobold blood and spinal fluid, The Don gives the sergeant an unsettling wink. "Sure thing sugar-snap," he grins, all the while continuing his grizzly, rhythmic work of severing reptilian heads with the blunt edge of the shield. "And while I'm torturing you to find out what we need, we can also discuss whether me or your boss has the bigger dick. I promise I'll be gentle."

Letting the sergeant ponder his purpose a little longer, The Don arogantly barks at his current comrades. "Batsie, take another look from above. Wrinkles, check what that paper says. Music-man, set a romantic vibe for us."

The Don rears his full, blood-soaked, masculine physique so it casts a shadow over the two prisoners. Hoping he has set an intimidating enough presence, what with the murder and threats, he chooses his target wisely. "I might make you wait for it though sergeant. Think I'll warm myself up on your scrawny little buddy."
Dungeon Master
 GM, 30 posts
 This is Hell
 Nor am I out of it
Thu 17 May 2018
at 09:32
2: By the Rivers of Babylon


Honour, courage, and military spirit are the kobolds' raison d'etre in this terrible place. The determination to hold one's nerve in the face of-

Nope.

'The spawn! The spawn of Tiamat!' The spearman blurts out as soon as the Don mentions warming up his torture skills. Ignoring the furious look on the face of his superior, he proceeds to sing like a bird.

'A guest of our master, the spawn was. Mighty and terrible. Killed some of our number in his rage, but what could we do? He found what he was looking for in our libraries and headed south, across the river, searching for some ruins.

Our orders were to track him and make sure he was really gone. No more. Yes, we found the bodies, yes, we looted coin and food, but that's all. Look in the envelope! It's all there!'

He lapses, panting, into silence. Staff Sergeant Meev'an looks incandescent with rage.
Todd
 player, 12 posts
Thu 17 May 2018
at 10:31
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
As far as Todd is concerned, there's nothing worth reporting up here. He gives the traditional "all clear" of his people.

'Fack off, ya greasy red cant.'
Suspenderman
 player, 15 posts
 He played the 2c show
Sun 20 May 2018
at 12:54
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
Suspenderman plays a soft and gentle melody that starts of like nigh all love songs. However he weaves the occasional tritone through the progression giving the piece a decidedly sinister tone to highlight the faux-romantics of the scenario.

To think, there were places in life he'd have been arrested for playing intervals like these.
Uhn'vuh
 NPC, 13 posts
 I have no mouth
 and I must scream
Mon 21 May 2018
at 09:15
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
Stitchface, having watched the interrogation with some grim satisfaction, discards his club in favour of the mace and approaches the prisoners.

He motions to them with the weapon and gives a remarkably expressive 'hnnuggh?' sound.

His question is clear: Are we done here? And if we are, shall we take care of the loose ends?
Nigel Snodgrass
 player, 12 posts
Mon 21 May 2018
at 16:21
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
In reply to Todd (msg # 38):

Catching the letter, albeit poorly, in Kobold blood soaked hands.

Nigel opens the letter, and attempts to read its contents.
Dungeon Master
 GM, 31 posts
 This is Hell
 Nor am I out of it
Tue 22 May 2018
at 18:15
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
The letter, written in a harsh, angular, but familiar script, was sealed, since broken and clumsily re-sealed, and addressed to the sergent of the ill-fated squad.

Meev'an

Our visitor has finally left. He seeks the ruins south of the river, just beyond our borders.

Shadow him. DO NOT engage. I want to be sure he has really left. Now that he knows what he knows, he is the devilmen's problem. May he choke on them.

Praise Kurtulmak!


The missive is signed off with a simple sigil rather than a name, the same as you see on the kobolds' uniforms.
The Don
 player, 18 posts
 Do you know who I am?
 I'm The Don baby!
Fri 1 Jun 2018
at 15:47
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
The Don shrugs towards Uhn'vuh. "If they can't tell us anything else useful, then sure. Knock yourself out. After you're done take the heads off would ya."

He tosses the blood soaked shield to him. Scrawny thing could certainly do with a bit more protection.

"Well if this spawn thing has fucked off across the river, I think we are done here," The Don announces to the group. "Let's go unsettle the fragile state of small town politics."

He grabs the severed kobold heads and starts walking back towards the village, all the while listening out for the effects of the threatening mace.
Uhn'vuh
 NPC, 14 posts
 I have no mouth
 and I must scream
Fri 1 Jun 2018
at 18:48
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
The thing's face tries to contort into a sadistic grin at the go-ahead to murder, but of course it cannot.

The shield thrown at his feet is ignored. After a moment's thought, the mace in his hand gets tucked into the haggard strip of leather he wears as a belt.

He approaches the whimpering kobold spearman, looming with malevolence as he stretches out one of his hands to almost meet the creature's face. His body stiffens and a burst of light emanates from his palm.

A bolt of energy bursts out, striking the kobold's skull clean apart in a shower of bone, brain, and associated gore.

As it slumps, the leader begins to squeak out a plea to his god, who lives not too far to the north of you. That would, in this instance, appear to still be too far away as he catches another blast of force, ripping his head apart too.

Wiping kobold juices from his face with a lithe hand, he flicks the gore off and gestures to the Don with an imperious motion.


From beneath his stitched-up face, he gives a muffled but definitely satisfied chuckle.

This message was last edited by the player at 18:48, Fri 01 June 2018.

Todd
 player, 13 posts
Sat 2 Jun 2018
at 11:27
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
Todd, overhearing the conversation below, widens its circle, with a view of searching harder for any sign or indication of the Kobolds quarry.

This message had punctuation tweaked by the player at 11:28, Sat 02 June 2018.

Dungeon Master
 GM, 32 posts
 This is Hell
 Nor am I out of it
Sat 9 Jun 2018
at 22:37
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
The walk back to the village is a little longer, following the hypotenuse of your journey's little triangle. However, unburdened by such things as prisoners and conscience, you make reasonable time.

Todd is nothing short of a godsend (devilsend?), allowing you to navigate the wastes with minimal doubling back or retreading steps. Be a shame if something happened to him.

Before long, you approach (from the northwest) the vilage of the rabble of devilkin. A few of the settlement's pathetic peons lounge about, one of them furiously playing with itself.

Other than that, you assume your glorious patron and his long-suffering advisor are to be found in their respective homes. How you crow about your glorious success is up to yourselves.
Suspenderman
 player, 16 posts
 He played the 2c show
Sun 10 Jun 2018
at 18:13
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
A glorious deed. A captive audience. What more could a man wish for? Spying the drudges and wretches lying about as they approach spurs the hellish minstrel into song. Prompting the Don to stride in holding the heads of the Kobolds high, the Suspenderman plays a witty ballad recanting the heroic tale of the anomalous devilkin who avenged the deaths of those who savagely murdererd the villages fine fishermen (carefully omiting the part where the kobolds weren't actually responsible). No finer entrance has a band of freshly spawned hell-rabble had!
The Don
 player, 19 posts
 Do you know who I am?
 I'm The Don baby!
Sun 10 Jun 2018
at 20:26
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
His hands full of dismembered kobold heads, their neck stumps crusted over in the hellish heat, The Don strides proudly through the wretched camp towards the mayoral residence.

He asks for no permission to enter, electing to barge his way through the threshold. Once inside, he dramatically tosses his prizes onto the table hoping the display attracts Ordog's attention and unnerve him.

"We sorted your problem Dog Man," The Don says loudly, yet as nonchalant as possible. "You're lucky to have me around, if I'm honest. It would be unfortunate if your weedy 'citizens' got to thinking that under your leadership they had no protection from meer kobolds."
Dungeon Master
 GM, 33 posts
 This is Hell
 Nor am I out of it
Tue 12 Jun 2018
at 14:28
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
Suspenderman's song draws the attention of the various lolling dotards which make up the denizens of the village. By the time the group reaches Ordog's hovel, you've attracted a small following of cavorting scumbags, as well as Haraj, who follows the procession with interest.

Ordog is indeed in his hut, along with a somewhat feminine devilkin, whose vacant nature he looks like he was preparing to abuse.

The grand style of the interruption clearly annoys him, but he rallies pretty well, considering.

"Protection? What do you think I just did by sending you? Under my leadership, the village has avenged what I presume to be the deaths of three of our number. And you, in turn, have earned another night of shelter and food. The system works."

An approving murmur goes up from the morons clustered around the door. His logic is impeccable. He's the leader, and a good thing happened, so it must be good leadership.

Through the cluster of bodies you catch the eye of Haraj, who meets your gaze and gives the merest suggestion of a helpless shrug which says it all: 'welcome to my world.'
The Don
 player, 20 posts
 Do you know who I am?
 I'm The Don baby!
Tue 12 Jun 2018
at 19:43
2: By the Rivers of Babylon
The Don shrugs back. "I suppose your right Dog Man," he replies with mock resignation. "We'll bow to your generous charity for the night and then be on our way."

The Don plods back towards the hovel entrance, but not without a loudly spoken parting shot. "I sure hope your impeccable leadership can protect y'all from whatever those Kobolds were cacking themselves about. That dragon spawn sounds like bad, bad business to me."

The Don keeps on walking.
Dungeon Master
 GM, 34 posts
 This is Hell
 Nor am I out of it
Fri 15 Jun 2018
at 20:15
2: By the Rivers of Babylon


For over 5,000 years has Ordog ruled over his tiny little corner of Hell using nothing but a technicality and a penchant for bullying.

He picks today to shit it.

His eyes bulge at the mention of dragon-spawn. Children of Tiamat. Big stinky monsters.

A sip of putrid hellwater he was taking as the Don spoke gets caught in his throat. He splutters, coughs, and spews the stuff across the table.

"Pff... wha? Uh, no, no that sounds all under control. We've got the kobolds' heads, we're all good." He tries to recover, but the conviction in his voice has wavered.

A change comes across the air. The moronic devilkin, now gathered a couple of dozen strong, give a little murmur of doubt.

Haraj fixes the Don with a significant look.

"You slayers got loot? I can reimburse you,"
he says, whereupon he turns and strides pointedly towards his little store.

This message was last edited by the GM at 20:15, Fri 15 June 2018.