You wake, dragged from the blackness, and bouncing up and down on a cord about your ankle.

A giant Ralphie is holding the rubber band between his fingers.

"YOU..." Earsplitting almost shout "Didn't think I was going to let you escape that easily did you?"

PT

::grins, all too easy::

Of course not, I was just waiting for your to calm down a bit. Since it was obvious that I had no idea I disrupted a balance, but don't look at it like a bad thing, look at it as an opportunity in disguise. With people being able to do more things, everything you can do will be that much more gawdlike to them. They have doubled their abilities and still not come close to yours. It's really an effective motivational tool when you think about it.

::smiles::

He gives you a suspicious look, and you smile helpfully back.  Grunting distrustfully, he lowers you down, unties your rubber band, and vanishes with a roll of thunder.

You are standing in the square mere moments after you left.

Siljonic and Katherine both rush up to assure themselves you're all right.  The other two do as well, but slower, in part because they are arguing about the "New Edition Ripple" and about the "Kick out of the Universe" as a means of escaping.

PT

::I get up::

I'm alright, and as you've seen it is no escape. I did pick up some new geat, so it wasn't all bad, So how long was I gone for and what is happening?

::dusts himself off::

Well vacation is over I guess, well that stinks, Miami in the summer, how many times is that gonna happen...back to work

::looks around for the well::

You find the well after some deep conversation as to where it was.  It seems to have moved slightly in the interim.

But other than that, its the same.

A quick toss of fireballs, and the water elemental thing is gone.

You and the others head down into it, on a rope.

Near the bottom, you reach a locked door in the wall.  Its just above the water, and you can see luminescent moss that lights things up to a 120 v light in the well bottom.

The door says.

"Take the Water Door"

PT

((Did the door speak it or is it written on it, either way))

::looks around, and hands someone his pack and ties a rope around himself and tosses it to Siljonic::

I'm going to see if there is a door under the water, if you feel a struggle on the rope pull me back in.

::heading down into the water, axe in my hand::

::sending prayers out there not to he who shall not be named, to see what other gawds are listening here, if any. A dwarven fighter/cleric wouldn't be a bad thing, also looking for treasure::
This message was last edited by the GM at 15:52, Sat 15 Apr 2006.

Its written.

You reach down into the water, and 'bump', you feel like your hand hits wood. Grinning, you reach over to the reflection of the handle, and pull it.  The real door above you creaks open.

You see a reflection of a raven in the water as it flies over the well, and then with a swirling sensation, you are taken away, whether in body or spirit, you cannot say.

You stand before a Creature of Power.  He sits at least ten stories tall in his great throne in a cave.  He has twelve swords about his waist, each more dreadful than the last.  On each finger is a ring of magic, and on his head is Helm that you cannot look at, or remember what it looks like, and his armour is dotted over with weapons, and at his feet a pack of four dragons sleep.

And wrapped about him are chains, and he slumbers.

PT

::clears his throat::

Where am I, and where are my friends? Nice looking stuff by the way.

::looks at the creature before him and just seeing why he is here::

Jhiaxus

He continues to snore.

And then a raven lands on your shoulder.

"Hey pal, nice work with that assasin team."

PT

::looks to the raven::

They killed a friend, and had items I wanted, and were without honor, it was a pleasure to wipe them out. Now I have better weapons and armor.

::looks to the being with chains::

Speaking of things I want, time to start a little anarchy in this world.

::walks up to the chains and starts whacking at them with my axe to free one of the "gods" here::

"We like how you think."  The raven says.

You start hammering on the chains.  Sparks fly. Nothing else.

"Those chains are forged by the Gamemastah himself, who while he is a putz, is also a god.  No merely mortal weapon is going to trash them, well maybe a light saber could, but then you don't have one. And your prayer 'To Whom it May Concern' is about to end...."

PT

::quicky look around for a god weapon, he is a god, he might be guarding one, grab it and free the chains::

He does have god weapons on his belt, and you clamber up the knee of the Being, and then...

You're back in the well, and the door of the well wall gapes open like a dark mouth.

You step inside, and see a temple shrine to three gods.  One, in the center is Ralphie.  To the left is the Being you just saw.  To the right is a wizardly looking figure with a rulebook in hand.

At the foot of each of these foot high statues is a treasure chest.

There is runes high on the wall in some unreadable script which Siljonic can read.

"Basically it asks, in roundabout way, so as to avoid 'the Curse of the Lawyers of Lake Geneva' who must be mighty wizards to frighten these gods, what their alignment is for each.  If you get it right, then you get a chance at the treasure chest, if not, um, bad things happen."

There's also a door on the far wall.  And a donation box on another wall.

PT

::looks at the scene::

Well any good rules laywer is Lawful Evil, to adhere to the letter of the law or rule but not the spirit, he's easy. The one who must not be named comes across to me as Chaotic Neutral, with his wild swings, and his chaotic nature. The mini duncan donut is the hard one.

::thinks about it::

Well let's think about it, a mini duncan donut is greedy, why else would he try to max out everything, and minimize his weaknesses. That screams Neutral Evil to me. Does anyone disagree with my assessment?

::again to himself::

If one is Lawful Evil, and one Neutral Evil, does that make the one who must not be named Chaotic Evil. He who must not be named must be tricked to help us and does get joy watching us mess up and die, not so much Chaotic Neutral as Chaotic Evil.

::if no one does, will open the chests with the above mindset::

The Rules Lawyer's chest stays there, and the other's vanish.  You open it, after the Fingers checks it for traps.

Inside is a jewel dappled railroad engine made out of silver. And a leather belt, and a sheet of paper with no words on it, and only numbers in the top right hand corner.

"99" on one side, and "100" on the other side.

PT

::looks at the leather belt and railroad engine, looking for numeric values, numbers of gems, etc::

Bah, leave it to them to make sure they ask us a question we have to guess at.

"Well, we answered the riddle, sort-of.  Now we get our reward. It does seem too easy."  The magi says.  "This sheet of paper...looks vaguely familiar."

"The belt is a belt of smacking.  Lets the user do killing damage with their fists." The Fingers says.  "I recognize it from 'Martial Mayhem for Fingers and Assassins.'"

"Great." Katherine says. "Now Ralphie is in his Monty Haul phase, soon enough, he will repent giving us these items, and make things doubly miserable for us."

You see no numbers on the belt, although it does have a "Made in Dwarfhome Leatherworks B" inscribed on it.

The toy railroad engine has nine rubies arrayed in a circle on the roof of the engine, and otherwise twenty semi-precious stones of varying types.

"What is this?" Siljonic says, pointing to the railroad engine.  "A strange sort of cart?"

PT

::hands the belt to fingers::

You knew what it was, you get to have it.

::looks at the train engine one last time::

It's a train engine, something that shouldn't be in the game, since the only time we've seen a train is when there is a plot train happening.

::looks around for an exit::

Well if there is nothing apparant, let's check the exit for traps and continue on.

There is a door, without traps, and Fingers opens it.

And suddenly you feel a blast of heat from the open door.

Looking in, you see a large pool of molten lava with an encirling sunning area on all sides.  In the middle of the lava is a basalt boat at anchor, and on it seems to be a women in chains.

PT

::looks at the scene::

I've seen enough pity traps to know that this can easily be one. Siljonic, why don't you cast a Detect Magic and use your Know Alignment Drow ability on her, so we know if this is a trick or not.

::waits for results::

"Right."  Siljonic says, and wiggles his fingers.

"Powerful magic on the ship, and she's magic as well. I can't see below the lava in the pool, but I'd bet there's something there as well."

He squints.

"She's (---------)(---------)."  He tries again, to the same effect.  Nothing more.  Then he says "She's of Order and Darkness, if you take my meaning, boss."

"I could cast a Soar spell, or a Fling spell to get us over there."  The magi says.

"Well, Moses parted some sea, maybe I could part a lava pit." Katherine says.

"Someone's watching us fromt the shadows." The Fingers mutters.

PT

::looks around::

Siljonic can fly himself over with his helm so he should be last, and he does have the 12 gauge crossbow, and the best eyesight, especially in shadows, so he can cover us. Katherine, try to part the lava, I want to see what is underneith, if not we fly over.

::have my axe at the ready (since I assume I am in Dwarf form again)::

Katherine nods, thinks a bit, and with a sickly look on her face, examines the lava.  She begins to argue with herself, but you can see she loses the argument.

She speaks to Siljonic asking him to stand behind her when she does the miracle.

And then she starts praying quite enthusiastically.

Finally, five minutes later, she seems to be done.  Arms trembling, she gets up, and walks up to the lava...and sticks her right foot into it.

The lava spins back from her foot, and sluices back to form a passage down which cool breezes blow.

In the middle of the passage, you can see an iron golem which had been waiting on the bottom of the pool in ambush.

PT

::smiles::

Siljonic and T light him up with lightning, fire heals them. I have the best poison save with my Dwarf bonuses, so I will protect the casters. Don't let it breathe on you, faill a save and die.

::stands in front of Katherine and the others not allowing anyone to pass::

Fingers cover us, watch the shadows, if anything moves launch a missile at it. Don't worry about me, I got the front.

::grins::

Let's kick this pig

T's bolt strikes its left arm, and Siljonic hits it in the stomach with bright bolts of power, knocking it down.  Then it rolls to its side, and into the lava, through the wall of lava that Katherine asked to rise up.

Now its dissappeared.

Thunk!

You look over your shoulder to see that Fingers has daggered a white creature which emerges from the wall.  It has a suit and tie on, but its obviously dead.

"A Copywight!" T wails.

It raises a hand and two empty suits, animated appear from its arm. They start dancing an Irish jig as they advance the sounds of "I object, your honor" drifting from their empty neck holes.

"Frivolous lawsuits.  It can generate 1d4 of them per round." Fingers says.

"Its coming for me, boss." Siljonic mutters.

PT

Siljonic, draw your Morningstar and Sword and defend yourself from the spawns, Katherine, T and Fingers concentrait on the main one. I will stand here if the Iron Golem comes out to play.

::waits for the Iron Golem to come up from the lava to intercept it::

Suddenly a wave of burning hot lava splashes out of the pool, forcing you to skip backwards.  But flecks of the blazing rock land on your pants' legs.  Looking from them, you see the golem is about eight feet out in the pool, and he is scooping up a handful, and another handful of lava to toss at you...

Meanwhile, one Frivolous Lawsuit has been dispatched you think from the cheers...

PT

::I am using the 5 D's when dealing with this situation: Dodge, Dip, Dive, Duck and Dodge, as I charge him with my axe and melee with him. If only doing the above keeps me safer than not, I will do so, while the others launch spells and missles at it::

The others are busy, per your plan, with the Copywight and its spawns, the Frivolous Lawsuits.  The Iron Golem is ten feet out into the lava pit...so you can only charge him if you can walk on lava.

Of course, Katherine is not busy.

And your pants are catching on fire.

PT

::I rip off my pants leg in the middle of the 5 d's::

Katherine, cast some create water on top of him constantly untill the others finish off the rest, hopefully the steam and possibly hardening lava will make him come out to play.

Katherine speaks, and her voice echoes in the room like thunder.  She gives you a startled look, and then rain starts falling on the lava, and most especially on the lava monster.

It flings one bundle, misses, and then another, and you slip on the now wet stone, and it hits you in the arm searing your arm, and making you roar in agony.

Siljonic is going toe-to-toe with the Copywight, and it can make no more Lawsuits.  The others are whittling down the Suits.

PT

::fling off any remaining lava and continue to dodge::

The cold water is hardening the stone, and this forces the golem to stop flinging lava.  It pauses, and then it begins to inexorably advance toward you.  The cooling rock cracks easily in front of its chest.

Katherine holds out her cross on a necklace, and while the cross glows a brilliant light, the golem seems unaffected, although the lady on the ship screeches.

"Its not a vampire, Katherine." Fingers yells.

PT

::waiting for the Golem to come onto land to deal with it, the slower it is, the most time the others deal with the undead, and can help me with this thing::

Don't worry Katherine, the Golem isn't a vampire, but the woman is affected by it.

The golem charges the last three feet, and scoops up a chunk of hardened lava, and flings it.  You dodge, and it hits the Magi in the back, knocking him down.

Siljonic screams in exultation as he thrusts his blade home.

"The Copywight is dead!"

The golem stands on the pit edge.

PT

::if it's on the pit edge I should be able to whack it while others do their thing::

::charges up to it and whacks it with his axe::

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
You take a whale of a strike at the Iron Golem. It hits, and Yaaaarggghhhh! You scream from agony, and look down to see a gaping wound in your chest right where you had struck the Golem.

"Now isn't that Ironic?" Ralphie says as he appears, chuckling to himself as you grind your teeth to keep from screaming. "Its not an Iron Golem, its an Ironic Golem. You hit it, and you hurt yourself." He chuckles some more and looks around to see if the others are going to join in the fun.

But your friends, other than unleashing dark looks at Ralphie are conferring. No one seems to have read the file on this beastie.

"Its in the Monster Dictionary IV. Which has never been released." He holds up the copy, and taunts you with it. "A hundred pages of pure nastiness all waiting for you."
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:39, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
Oh yeah, take this ::I swing the axe at my own head hard::

Jhiaxus
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:39, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
The sharp blade dives toward your face, and ....

There is a sound like a car crash. You look up, and the Ironic Golem's head is smashed in. And it tips back over into the lava with a splash.

Ralphie looks at you with insanity glittering in his black eyes.

He works his fists, and then grits his teeth, and disappears.

PT
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:39, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
::smiles and winces in pain:: Mages target that unholy woman and fire, when Ruthanne tried to turn, she shreiked, so something is not right about her. Oh yeah can I get some healing when you get a chance Ruthanne.

Adam
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:40, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
Ruthanne pours some olive oil on you, and then reaches out a hand.

"Rise and walk." She says, and a bit wincing, you do...and the pain is gone, although for a second you have the most incredible itching sensation in your stomach...

She laughs.

"I wonder if I'm going to be able to wander around a town, and everyone my shadow hits is healed." Her face is a bit exalted, but at the same time you can hear a nervous tremor in her voice.

The mages open fire. Ball of fire, Bolt, Guided Rockets, Ball of Fire, multiple Magic Missiles from Siljonic finish her off with a screech. An unhealthy odor of cheap and strong perfume, plus fingernail polish wafts through the lava room.

"Thank you!" Ralphie's vindictive voice booms through the room. "You just vaped the Rules Lawyer's personal Secretart. Do you want a bonus level, which would make you eleven instead of ten, or do you want a chance at a god weapon?"

PT
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:40, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
"She deserved it, and I think we'll take the chance at a god weapon"

::well just hand me instraments to your own destruction why doncha::

Jhiaxus
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:41, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
"The Sword of Slaughter, the Bow of Comets, the Dagger of Planetary Knifing in the Back, the Staff of Solar Flame, the Axe of Quest Doom, the Belt of Next Tuesday, the Wand of Wanton Whomping?" Ralphie pauses. "Which one do you desire to go after. Not that you're likely to get it since they are in dreadfully difficult locations, guarded by legions of horrifying monsters, and traps that would make a fine mincemeat pie of a dwarf."

And you hear in the air a cool female voice. "For slaying the Ironic Golem and Copy Wight. One level. Secretart. One level. Now Level Ten." and then a pause. "You jerks, you killed me."

PT
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:41, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
I like Axes, so we'll go after the Axe of Quest Doom, we'll worry about the others later.

::smiles::

::to the female voice::

It's not like you can't come back, besides it's a job, nothing personal
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:41, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
So what are you going to do now?

PT
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:42, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
Going after the axe, I assume the Gamemastah will send us on our way.

Adam
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:42, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
You walk up to the surface, and pass a Reset Point on the way. On the surface, you go to the Mapseller, who has maps of Mordor, Narnia, Everquest, and the Black Mountain of Dire and Baleful Badness where the Axe of Quest Doom is.

The map has a path marked on it. The path leads east over the Teeth Mountains, through DarkThroat Pass, down the Gullet Valley of Madness, and into the Acid Bogs. From there, its straight up the exterior of the Black Mountain which has never been climbed, although it does have an Axe at its top.

Of course, the straight route on the map says go west to the Acid Bogs, and to the Mountain, but that path is not marked.

PT
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:43, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
I am all about impatience, were taking the Acid Bogs shortcut :p

::will make sure everyone is rested and healed before trekking off, which since there is a town, it's a good thing::

Jhiaxus
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:43, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
There is a big, black wall at the end of the street. It is at least twenty feet high, and so glossy that you can see yourself reflected from ten feet away.

PT
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:43, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
I will have Siljonic ferry us over with his Helm of the Dragonfly.

Adam
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:44, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
You clear the wall, and see fog which shivers in response to the long, lonesome train whistle that drifts from somewhere nearby. And then out of the fog, you see another, taller black wall. Its seventy feet high.

At its top are orcs armed with bows and arrows and big stones.

"Hey, its dem, how many times we going kill these suckahs, and get killed ourselves this time?"

"Shut yer trap, Morty. Its a decent paying job." A sergeant-like voice answers back.

PT
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:44, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
I'm getting mighty sick of this...

::praying at the munchkin and rules lawyer in my mind::

"If you two ever want to get free to get revenge against you know who, you'd had better start getting on my good side"

Adam
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:45, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
There is a very insistent 'choo-choo' as a railroad engine comes storming down the path between the two walls in your direction. Its brightly polished, with a d20 for a cattleguard, and wheels that look like d6'.

And, clank, clank, clank, in front of your feet, track appears and drops into place.

PT
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:45, Fri 19 May 2006.

^{http://www.gamingoutpost.com/d....php?showtopic=82751}
Fine we go his stupid way, I have little patience, and what little I have has long since gone.

Adam
This message was last updated by the GM at 16:45, Fri 19 May 2006.

You hear a roar of anger, and a lady in silver armor, with a six foot long blade is standing in the middle of the tracks, with sparks flying off her, and her beautiful face distorted by fury.

"Everything evil dies!"  She screams.

And takes a leaping sideswipe at the train with her blade that suddenly flares brilliant white so that it leaves spots on your vision.  The train's steam box is mortally wounded, and steam is jetting skyward.

PT

::sighs::

Ya know, I knew this was going to be a bad day when I woke up and a Chinese Hit Squad was killing versers...

::watches Psycho woman attack the train::

Ayup, definatly going to be a bad day....

::continues to watch::

Jhiaxus

She beats the train to immobility, and you see a man with a tall wizard's hat, chained to the engineer's position.  Startled, you recognize him.

The Rules Lawyer.

She attacks.

He ducks.

"Do you have the paper?"

Attack. Dodge.

"And my Secretart to write on it?"

"Stand still, evildoer!" Attack. Dodge.

"No, don't think so. Thats a godsword you have there.  Might actually be able to kill me."

PT

::sighs::

"Siljonic hold person on her so we can find out what this is all about"

::to sword woman::

"Stop attacking and let me sort all this out"

::getting interested in the situation now::

She freezes.

"A dark elf.  I fear you not.  I Lilandra, Chosen Sword of the Eye will not surrender to your treacherous attack.  I will not stand for this."  She begins to loudly pray to the Eye of Truth to call down vengeance on Siljonic.

The Rules Lawyer winces.

PT

::shakes his head::

Number one he isn't evil, so you attack won't work, even if he was, only a moron would attack a Drow with any sort of magic, number 2, attacking a chained up person, no matter how evil is evil, and as such you should lose all your paladin powers, third your *TRAPPED* here just like us, so sit down, shut up and think before you act.

::shakes his head::

You give good a bad name...

::to the rules lawyer::

Ok I personally don't care who rules here, but leaving you know who without foils isn't a possibility. So it's time to make a deal, you tell me how to free you and the miunchakin, throw in some god weapons, once your free, we get sent home, and no one else gets pulled in. If not I'm sure eventually she will hit you, and I won't interfere anymore. I know your alignment, so if you agree you will hold to it, and don't try to twist it, since I am a little too Chaotic Neutral when people play that game, deal?

Jhiaxus

"Drow are evil.  Almost always.  Besides, he tried to attack me in the process of doing my duty.  And we will see if your Drow comrade can withstand the fury of the Eye.  And I have no idea what you are talking about.  The Eye has laid the commandment of honorable combat on me, with those who are honorable, and are not devoutly EVIL.  I have no command to be honorable to vampires, liches, and necromancers.  Them I may slay without mercy or warning.  And what do you mean, trapped, you are the only one who has trapped me with your spell.  And if you are Chaotic Neutral, whatever that is, then how are you to tell me how to be good?"

Lilandra steams back at you.  She's got an excellent stage presence, and a voice that could probably crack glass at a hundred feet if she hit a high "C".

"Well, Jhiaxus.  I'll let you go with a god weapon, and I'll send your peers back,  but truly do you want to go back to their world.  1973, and other than Disco and the Fight against Communism not much going on, its going to be a long time until the Internet begins.  As to freeing me, take the sheet of paper you have, its from one of the Rulebooks of Reality, and have my Secretart write in.  'The Rules Lawyer is freed.'"

PT

::to Lilandra::

He "attacked" you because I told him to. It was a hold spell, not a fireball or a lightning bolt, which at his level would vaporize any of us. I'm going to impart some knowledge on you, if your "Eye" sent you here, your being punished, since in order to get out, you will need to compromise your "goodness", you can't die here, you just get brought back to play again. I said when people break their word to me, lie, cheat or steal, I get Chaotic Neutral in that situation. I am Chaotic Good by nature, I distrust authority, and prefer personal freedom, but when it comes to it, I will do the right thing.

::pauses::

You are trapped here just like us, since the one who must not be named, enjoys kidnapping people from other worlds to play in his game. If I wanted to go, I could have done so, but I won't leave him without any foils. The evil person before you is chained up unable to do anything on this world. Now are you going to be quiet, let me think about how best to let us out.

::thinks::

What if the Secretart is dead? Will she still be able to write what we want her to in it? Is she able to write anything on the paper?

::is getting a plan to bring back the old god::

"So you are the one who is aiding and abetting Evil.  And while you may think well of your Drow servant, I don't.  The Eye can protect his servant, and if not, then I go elsewhere."

She pauses, and looks seriously ill at you.

"I will never lie, cheat, or steal from you.  However, I am considering putting your head on a chopping block,a nd striking it off.  What you say is you are a rebel. And you claim I must compromise good, while you claim to be good yourself. I think you are confused."

"If someone is evil, and has kidnapped me, I will deal out to them their appropriate punishment."

And then she yells, and suddenly, she is moving.  And a burning Eye hovers high in the sky.

"Dead? Dead? You killed her, didn't you?  I ----grrrrrr."  The Rules Lawyer mumbles somthing under his breath.

PT

::shakes his head::

Certifiable nutjub....

::to the RL::

Hey the one who must not be named put us in a position that made us think she was the threat. I know she can come back, here death is just a temporary status. 

"The one who must not be names is completely untrustworthy.  He bends rules right and left as it suits him, or he sticks to them completely with no sense when it suits him.  He is willing to be chaotic or lawful, as long as it messes you the player over.  And you trusted anything he told you?"

Put that way...

"Well, yes, death is temporary. So go raise her from the dead or something.  And do it quick before You-Know-Who pays attention."

Meanwhile Lilandra is staring at you.  You can see she is biding her time, judging you.  She's not certain you belong on a chopping block....yet.  So she's waiting.

Pt

::to Katherine::

Your high enough level, raise the secretart.

::to RL::

So the secretart will have to write down what I say onto the page correct? She won't pull a he who shall not be named will she?

::pauses::

So that piece of paper is like a gawd item, able to bend the rules here, almost like when Siljonic was created? So how did he who shall not be named come into power, and how did he best you and the other?

::the more info I get on this, the better I can make this world. I'm betting I can make myself a god here with this paper, bring back the old ones, transfer my power to them, and get sent home, allowing the old ones to deal with these three, and thus fulfilling my wish to not have others brought here::

Katherine steps back.

"Raise someone from the dead?  I'm not Jesus or one of the Apostles!"  She cringes, and waves her hands about.  Then she starts gulping air.

RL:

"I'm not one of the gods who reads minds, so you're going to have to use English.  However, if you are asking is she loyal to me, then yes.  I created her.  My first being I ever created.  She's in love with me."  He looks smug.

"Yes, its part of the Rulebooks that define reality.  But only a very high level character, at least fifty or someone like the Secretart or me can write in them."

He looks embarrassed.

"I underestimated his lack of honesty.  We were all going to turn into our avatars, and play a low level game.  Uber went first, me next, and him was to be last.  He captured us both in our low power forms.  As to how he came into power, well, this world was the property of the Chaos Lords, but at the Creator's request they gave it up to us three.  But we realized the Creator didn't know how to make a good game, so we cut our apron strings."

PT

::to Katherine::

You as Katherine can't, you as the Cleric Katherine can, I believe in you.

::to RL::

Ok then, I promise to use what I ask for on the paper to let you go and return you to godhood, but I will do the same to Uber. If anything you three will balance each other out, at that point, once we get an agreement on how people end up here, and that they can go when asked, my work here will be done.

On that note, since I am righting a wrong by bringing back the Secretart, and reunited you, I want you to promise her to write down what I say onto the paper, with a gawd oath to Odin the one a serve, I will not betray you in saying that I will free you and grant back what was taken from you. You will do swear the same to me, and since I know your alignment, it means something, deal?

::waits and remembers to summon the Plutinium Dragon here if this works, since she was really the only one that has told the truth, and gave me information that was real, to get the real story::

Jhiaxus

"I promise that I will instruct the Secretart to write down "Free the Uber-Munchkin and the Rules Lawyer."  I will NOT let you have her inscribe whatever you desire."  The Rules Lawyer says.

"Under the Eye, all oaths would be well kept."  Lilandra says, pointing to the flaming eye floating in the sky.  It looks at you, and suddenly in your memory you can see clearly every time you chose dishonesty all the way back to the times you cried as an infant when you tried to convince Mommy you needed food when what you really wanted was someone to hold you.  Its a shattering experience, and you flinch from looking into naked Truth.

Katherine nods, and begins to pray.  Finally she raises her hands, and suddenly a ball, an oval of glowing flames appears in front of her.  Out of this floating egg steps the Secretart.  Siljonic has her with a sword at her throat.

She's dressed in a mini-skirt, smacking chewing gum in her mouth, and had bright red fingernails several inches long which she uses to hold a notebook and a pen.  And then she unfurls her wings which are white feathers with a black edge along the bottom.

And she smiles at you with bottomless cruelty.  And you feel an enchantment wrap around you, a desire to serve her with your every breath, and then it fades because its based on a lie, and it can't exist her under the Eye.

She curses.

::shakes his head::

"No deal, I can't trust you to free us with that wording. Your Lawful Evil, who will twist the letter of the oath to be apart from the spirit of the oath. No I have had her brought back, but the paper is mine, and if I have to get to level 50 to write in it, so be it, you and Uber can stay imprisoned untill then.

::grins::

"And the fact she just tried to charm me to serve her, so have fun being imprisoned"

::tucks the paper away and begins to walk away::

Jhiaxus
This message was last edited by the GM at 14:42, Wed 24 May 2006.

"Hey, its her nature to do that. You can't blame her for that.  Besides, how would you twist that?  I'm just afraid you're going to give yourself some awful advantage if I allow you to write whatever you want."

The Rules Lawyer whines.

PT

::to RL::

"The only advantage I want is to make sure I have the power to send myself and my friends back, I have given my word, that I will free you and uber. I don't want to stay here, I am not going to twist my words around, the first thing I will do is free you two. She will make sure I follow my word"

::smiles::

"Easy in what you just said there was no mention of sending us home, nor the god weapon we discussed, nor letting people be grabbed to play in this game when they want to leave. That's just on what you left out.

::looks at RL::

"Listen, if I was a bad guy, I'd make it easier for her to smite you with that sword of hers, but that's not going to solve anything in the end. The deal is she writes what I say on that paper, and the first thing I will do is free you two or she will cut me in two. That's the deal take it or leave it, look at it from my shoes, if your dealing with evil people you need to make sure you are covered against their trechery."

Jhiaxus

"I thought we had already covered me sending you with a god weapon and the rest.  So on those terms you just stated, I agree."  The Rules Lawyer says.

Lilandra looks coldly at both of you.

"I don't like either of you. Nothing would make me happier at this moment than to kill both of you. So mind your 'p's and q's' as my treacherous husband would say."

"Gimme da' papah." the Secretart says blowing a bubble gum bubble.  "And tell cutie that if he's going to stand so close to me with that sword at my throat, the least he could do is massage my back."

PT

::RL::

"Hold one momement cuz this needs to be said"

::to Lilandra::

"I don't care if your sick, your the most evil person here. The others know that they are evil, and don't make excuses. You, you use your servant of the eye speech to justify any act.

"One last addendum, I want a Cure Insanity spell cast on Lilandra, and I will let her sign the paper."

::if he agrees let the tart sign the paper, and I assume psycho woman will come after me with the sword, so I will be dodging, and hopefully the others will run interference::

Jhiaxus

"Justify any act?  What madness are you spewing?  Do you know the last people to offer to cure my insanity?  They were grey little men with boxy fur hats on their heads, and little red stars.  I let them threaten to cure my insanity with electricity.  Anyone who disagreed with them was insane.  I let them rave until they tried to lay hands on me, and on my husband who they called a 'running dog capitalist pig' whatever that means, and then I and he slew many of them.  Until they brought up their great war machines, and dropped fire from the sky on us."

She slashes at grass near her feet.

"And why should I not serve the Eye? The Eye is older than time, wiser than a hundred mages, and powerful enough to have this demon in chains quiver in fear.  The Eye is Truth.  And the Eye holds me to a standard, it is not an alibi that I give excusing my every action.  Again, I say, you are confused.  Your logic teacher taught you poorly.

But I will be glad to have this spell cast on me, for I am not insane.  I am just very, very angry."

He signs.  She doesn't charge you.  The spell is cast.

She gives you a really sour look.

The Secretart looks at you.

"Its man trouble. Its the only thing that gets a girl that worked up.  Now whaddya' want me to write?"

PT

::sighs::

Just write down free the rules lawyer and munchkin and restore them to their former power.

::to Lilandra::

So you don't think being very angry all the time isn't a form of insanity, it's called rage, and in order to think clearly and make balanced decisions you need to work through why your angry. Now the spell is cast by a god, the only thing that remains is why are you so angry?

::waits for things to happen::

Jhiaxus

Lilandra frowns at you thoughtfully.

"I have my reasons. I do not choose to share them with you since I don't find you a good source of counsel."

Secretart winks at you, and then writes what you said.

Suddenly the chains evaporate.

And the Rules Lawyer stands up, swells to fifty feet tall, and roars out a long stream of words at incredible speed.  He spits out in thirty seconds, the whole of the rulebook.

Gamemastah! appears, and points a shaking finger at you.

"You will suffer for this for..."

He draws back his hand to lightning bolt you.

"Max damage from a bolt is fixed at 5d4."  RL says, and the bolt shrinks drastically in size.

And then over the horizon, you hear..the stomping of enormous feet, explosions, shrieks, and over the horizon marches an sky-topping figure with twelve swords of ultimate destruction belted around the waist of his diaper...

He points a finger at a mountain range.

"Fall down ...go boom!"

"Power Word Nuke." The Secretart whispers to you.  The whole mountain range boils away.

"What have you done?!?" Gamemastah! shrieks as he wildly begins to create monsters to attack Uber, while the RL forces most of the ones he created to dissipate since they are against the rules.

PT

::to Lilandra::

Is it because I don't go along with your line of thinking. That the world isn't in black and white, no matter how much you want it to be. I am exactly the counsol you need, since I speak my mind, I will not cowtail to you, and I have nothing to gain or lose with you, since I am not after anything. Wise rules keep people with a variety of backrounds and opinons to consul them. Oh one last thing, I'm also stubborn, so unless you provide a logical arguement, I guess I will have won.

::smiles and watches the floor show::

::to the mastah::

Just thought you wanted to play with your friends is all.

::between these evil buffons, and the psycho woman, I really don't feel bad about restoring the balance to this place::
This message was last edited by the GM at 19:35, Fri 26 May 2006.

Lilandra turns red in the face.  You can't hear her yell what with the sounds of nuclear explosions, and the shockwave coming your way.  But you can easily read her lips.

"LOGIC?!?  You would not know what logic was if it bit you on the nose!"

The Rules Lawyer turns and waves bye-bye at you...

The shockwave, a wall hundreds of feet high, and moving at over a thousand miles per hour hits....

=============================================================================

Next world is being run by Oak. Congratulations, you've escaped the Gamemastah!'s Trap.  He's  a little busy right now to draw you back into his reality.

PT