quote:
I start taking off my armor, and put on my new wolfhide jacket.
It's not "your" wolfhide jacket. The captain of the guard made it for himself. I mean, unless you're taking it from him. And in that case it'll be the Neanderthal warrior you have to fight. To the death. Besides, the Neanderthals are about the size of your youngest son. It wouldn't fit anyway.
quote:
"Say, Heracles, interested in a wrestling match?" I grin at him. "No eye gouges, or bonebreaks or below the belt...?"
Heracles takes a spear and draws a circle in the dirt about 10 feet diameter.
"Out of the circle loses. I should warn you my wrestling experience is rather limited. I've only ever wrestled Raptors. And once a giant princess, but that's a story for another time."
Then he takes off his gauntlet and the rest of his leather armor and stands in the center of the circle, waiting for you.
quote:
I figure I'm going to lose, but I need the practice.
In Mortal Kombat voice "ROUND ONE, FIGHT!!!!!"
For a good minute, you're just two guys pushing against brick walls. Nobody is moving. Heracles tries to get under you to sweep your legs out but he loses his purchase and you take the opportunity to sling him out of the circle.
"Ah, good match Tadeusz. But I warn you. I've never lost a fight in my life. Best two out of three, yes?"
ROUND TWO FIGHT!!!!!!
You grapple and fight. He does much better this time. But in the end, your superior size gives you the advantage. You toss him from the circle a second time.
He rises to his feet and roars "BEST THREE OUT OF FIVE!!!!!!!!!"
It's clear he's not going to let this go until he wins.
Determined and on the edge of anger, he takes his place again.
This time he goes straight for your legs, knocking you off balance so that you basically fall into his hands. He just carries you to the edge of the circle and drops you onto the ground. It hurts. You've got the wind knocked out of you.
He's not going to accept the wind knocked out of you as an excuse to not continue. "In battle, there are no rest breaks. Get back in here!!!!"
So you do. He doesn't waste time. He just grabs you and suplexes you out of the ring. You land on your back.
The match is two to two. You can stop now, with honor satisfied, IF you agree to forfeit and declare him the winner. But just understand that if you beat him again, he's not going to let it go until he either defeats you for real or he is physically no longer able to continue.
(Doing Therapy)