Simon Hardy

Name: Simon Hardy
Race/Ethnicity: American of Mixed European Descent
Age: He was 32 when this whole mess started.
Weight:  165
Height: 5’11”
Distinguishing Marks: He has two tattoos, one on each arm, the left ‘hic et nunc’, literally ‘here and now’, the other, in Greek, from Corinthians 10:23, translates as ‘everything is permitted, but not everything is beneficial.’
Eye Color: Green to Blue, depending on his mood
Hair Color: Brown and cursed to misbehave
Species: Human
Appearance: Simon doesn’t put much effort into his appearance, letting his hair do what it wants, when it wants, which considering how hair is cursed in Sanctuary is a good idea and more often than not it just tangles around his head.  He doesn’t bother to shave every day unless he’s trying to impress someone or when it starts to itch and remind him it’s there.  He’s more comfortable in casual clothes and doesn’t own a tie, but he’s got some nicer clothes and cleans up well when needed or as mentioned, he’s trying to impress.

At right around 5’11” and 165 pounds he’s lean, but not skinny, despite a decided lack of any sort of formal exercise beyond hitting a dance floor until it gets light out or he gets kicked out.

He has two tattoos, one on each arm, the left ‘hic et nunc’, literally ‘here and now’, the other, in Greek, from Corinthians 10:23, translates as ‘everything is permitted, but not everything is beneficial.’

Perhaps his most striking features are his eyes, which shift from green to blue dependent on his mood, growing warmer and colder as his interest focuses and fades, the more colorful, the more interested he is in whatever might be within his gaze.

Personality: Fluid.

Powers/Abilities:  Simon is a magician.  Not a witch or a warlock, but a magician.  What’s the difference?  A magician practices an art.  A witch practices a craft and a warlock, well, that’s just a derogatory term.  In other words, he makes it up as he goes.  He practices what his father would call “Pop Magic” or “Trash Magic”, what the kids today might call Chaos Magick, k and everything.  As a result, his magic tends to be broadly applicable and practically impossible to verify.

In addition to being the greatest magician of the modern era period (just ask him, he’ll confirm it), he’s also a great dancer and cook, can belt out a tune on karaoke night, knows his poisons (i.e. alcohol and drugs), can talk about philosophy and art and music like it’s all one thing and speaks most of the major languages and one or two minor, forgotten or made up ones.  He’s also got an encyclopedic knowledge of popular culture, which he sprinkles into his magic, such as telling fortunes with a cursed Magic Eight Ball and making Wards out of bubble gum (ask him sometime, he’ll show you how).

Background:

“Oops.”  Oops was not a sound you wanted to make when messing around with magic.

“There’s no oops in magic, you gotta own that shit,” Simon said, coming to peer over Sophia’s shoulder, unsure whether it had been his mistake or hers.

“Oh shit,” he said, seeing what was in the book, deciding that ‘oops’ was perhaps the understatement of the year.

“OK… OK… It’s not the end of the world,” he said, checking his watch to make sure he hadn’t gotten that wrong.

“Yet,” he added, steepling his fingers together and beginning to pat them together in thought.

“We gotta get dad,” Sophia said nervously.

“Are you kidding me?” Simon exclaimed, “You know what he would say.”

“You made the mess, you clean it up,” they said in unison as Simon took off his watch and set it aside.

Act 2 – Confirming two bad ideas don't make a right but can inspire a song

And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.  Stupid Nietzsche…

You didn’t need to gaze long, just a glance was enough, especially if you were running around in your underwear while you did it, metaphorically speaking.

“Were you in your underwear?” he wondered curiously, still formulating an escape plan.

“Focus,” she chided him, snapping her fingers in front of his face.  “What are we going to do?”

“You’re not going to do anything,” he said, a slow smile spreading over his lips.

“I got this,” he promised.  He didn’t, at least not yet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEsqGOHo0nI

Act 3 – In which a cursed Magic Eight Ball decides his fate

“Is he sleeping or sleeeeping,” Simon asked over the phone, the difference between the two clear enough to anyone who knew his father.

“You’re killing me, you know that, right?  I mean literally, you know what it means for me to come back there,” he warned.

“How did you even find me?” he wondered.  He’d dropped off the face of the Earth, almost literally.  He’d been a ghost, almost literally again, moving invisible until the statute of limitations on a soul bound bargain expired.  What do you mean they don’t expire?  Who ever told you that?  They sold you a bill of goods, but you probably sold your soul, so whatever, you got screwed.  Rent man, rent it out.

“Dammit,” he said, shaking a Magic Eight Ball for a second time, muttering “best two out of three” to himself before deciding what he was going to do, the answer that emerged out of the dark blue murk the same as before

“Stupid thing is cursed,” he complained, and was pretty sure that was actually true.  If he had to guess it was one of his ex’s.  ‘Never date another witch,’ he thought.  It was the only good advice his father had ever given him.

“It really does hate me,” he said into the phone, letting the ball roll across his bed and onto the floor where it immediately started plotting how to sprain his ankle when he got up later.

“You going back too?” he asked, not sure if that would make it better or worse.

“Alright, whatever, but you owe me,” he warned, thinking he might actually need to collect this time.

Act 4 – When flying coach is sometimes better than first class

“Technically I’m not soulless,” he argued, pouring another tiny bottle of vodka into a small glass of orange juice.

“I have a soul, just not on me.  Kind of like, you know, checked luggage,” he said, thinking of the suitcases in the belly of the plane.  He raised his drink, trying not to slosh it around as they hit a patch of turbulence.  He popped a Xanax and tapped the side of the plane for good luck once it passed.

“Don’t do this at home kids,” he warned the passenger next to him, washing the pill down with a screwdriver and flagging the flight attendant for another.

“And I do kind of have one on me.  It just isn’t mine,” he shared leaning in closer with a whisper.

“It’s kind of a family business I suppose.  So what do you do?” he asked, oblivious to the look of horror on his neighbor’s face.

Act 5 – Where we learn whether Sanctuary actually is one

He took a commuter jet to Albany and rented a car.  It was about a two hour drive home, but he needed that to prepare himself.  He hadn’t been home in 15 years.  Damn… 15 years.  Had it been that long?

All in all, he’d had a pretty good life up until that point.  He’d seen the world, two or three times, he’d met princes and princesses, gods and monsters and even spent a particularly quiet month in Smallville, Kansas searching for Superman.  Technically it was Hutchinson, Kansas, but they’d renamed it Smallville for a day and he just had to check it out and wound up staying on for a bit before moving on.

He could handle small towns ‘for a bit’, but he’d gotten a taste of the bright lights and exotic places and recalled enough of his childhood in Sanctuary to be wary.  Still, if the old man was ‘sleeeeeeping’, someone needed to watch over the empire.  His father would be rolling over in his… well, bed… if he knew Simon was going to be in charge.  Then again, he hopefully wasn’t going to be in charge and could just sign a few papers, dot a few t’s and cross a few i’s and call it a day.  He was pretty sure his dad didn’t actually do any real work, just stared at his map of ‘assets’ and spreadsheets of acquisitions and deadlines.

Piece of cake really, even if Sanctuary didn’t turn out to be such a safe place and his own demon came a calling.  Well, if she ever caught up with him, wouldn’t she be in for a surprise.

Act 7 – Where we learn you can’t go back again until you can

“Oops.”  Oops was not a sound you wanted to make when messing around with magic.  Oops was the forbidden word.  But there was no oops in magic, you had to own your actions.  Mistakes would be made, but when you made a mess, you better clean it up.  Shake it off.

Simon had come back to Sanctuary because of a phone call and a Magic Eight Ball.  It had seemed like a good idea at the time.  Coming back at the tail end of a bender, not so much, but hey… it sure had been fun, a bit like playing pinball as the ball.

The first clue should have been enough, but sometimes he was a little slow.  He should have known instantly when the café he was looking for wasn’t where it was supposed to be.  He really should have figured out whose dream he was in sooner.  He should have figured it out when he’d met the Apple Pie.  He really should have figured it out when he’d met the Flower Eater, but it had taken a walking stalking Razor Blade to finally open his eyes.

“Cut me Mick, cut me!,” he called out in his best Stallone, and she had.

He needed to take some Time to shake it off, earn an extra ball and shoot again.

Act 6 – Proving you can go back again.

It didn’t take much to earn an extra ball, all you had to do is let yourself lose.  But damn, the gurls could move and eat flowers and pierce his skin.  Slide.

‘That way Jeeves,’ he told himself, turning away with a sigh to another reality in order to dance up a tree like a good little squirrel.  Shalalala.

(You know not to click on this in public, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo85Qa2SoQQ)

And yes, this is out of order :P

Act 8 – Where a magician decides he’s made a mistake, so he decides to make a different one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhvXST1Rc3g

Act 10 - Where two girls with complex relationships with time and one boy with a fragile relationship with reality end up making a mess... twice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU7amLlee9s

Act 11 - In which a magician appears and a girl disappears.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMkO9b04J7g

Come closer and see
See into the trees
Find the girl
If you can
Come closer and see
See into the dark
Just follow your eyes
Just follow your eyes

I hear her voice
Calling my name
The sound is deep
In the dark
I hear her voice
And start to run
Into the trees
Into the trees

Into the trees
Suddenly I stop
But I know it's too late
I'm lost in a forest
All alone
The girl was never there
It's always the same
I'm running towards nothing
Again and again and again and again

Act 12 - Where a magician climbs up a tree again and comes down too many shades of grey

Act 13 - Where a Yellow Brick Road leads to the belly of a whale

Act 14 - Where we learn how long paint takes to dry

How Do Your Powers Work:

From WebMD: http://webmd.com/magical_affective_disorder_mad Do I really have to tell you not to click on that link?  Really?  You need help :( If you just want the box, check with Analeese or stick a nail in my foot to scroll down to "What To Do With Someone Who Has MAD?" Magical Affective Disorder (MAD) What Causes Magical Affective Disorder? Magical Affective Disorder, also referred to as reality aversion, is a syndrome with depression and mania that starts around the mundane and ordinary.  There are two types of MAD.  The negative-onset type is triggered when the harsh edges of reality encroach too closely.  The positive-onset type is triggered when a person experiences something that can be objectively described as truly amazing, holy or spectacular. MAD usually starts in young adulthood.  Some teens with MAD have very mild symptoms and just feel like there is more out there in the world.  Others have more serious symptoms that can interfere with relationships and work. Because of a lack of magical inspiration, MAD is most often encountered in modern countries and in urban environments. Symptoms of MAD If you have MAD you may have the following symptoms: Excessive Apophenia (the tendency to perceive meaningful patterns within random data) Visual hallucinations (particularly fireworks, rainbows and glowing things) Auditory hallucinations (particularly hearing music and voices) Delusions (or not) Desire for more of the above Other symptoms may include: Inability to focus Problems holding a conversation Manic behavior YTM - You tell me What Are The Treatments for MAD? Most suffers of MAD do not seek treatment, preferring to dive deeper into the disorder, an activity which may lead to addition and addiction (see What To Do With Someone Who Has MAD).  However, MAD sufferers can be treated with exposure to professional wrestling, NASCAR, cable news, accounting tasks, repetitive work, logic and metaphysical nails in their feet.  Further, MAD symptoms can be managed with most sedatives, antipsychotics and anti-anxiety medications. What To Do With Someone Who Has MAD? Sufferers of MAD are prone to imagining magical moments.  The scale of these moments is inversely proportional to the presence of reality enforcing entities in proximity.  Alone or unobserved, the MAD sufferer is capable of bending the very fabric of space and time, creating from nothing if desired.  However, even when alone there are reality enforcing elements.  A table wants to be a table.  A cup a cup, but a cup wants to be full and a table wants a cup on top of it.  Finding those missing pieces and forming ‘reasonable’ connections between before and after is the key.  From there, the degree of Magical Affectation depends upon the sincerity of the sufferer and how far those desires stray from enforceable reality.  For instance, in a crowded room, a MAD sufferer will be lucky to find an invisible companion to talk to, let alone affect anything others might observe.  Alone, in the privacy of their own room, they can get to all sorts of mischief. NOTE: Whatever you do, do not join the MAD sufferer in their delusions.  Reinforcement of said delusions will only strengthen the likelihood of reality bending, as well as the sufferer’s willingness to delve deeper into his or her illness.  In other words... if you believe what they believe, it is. Is MAD Infectious? In some instances, MAD is contagious as a temporary illness with symptoms fading shortly after removed from exposure.