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Welcome to St. Louis Misery

05:43, 28th April 2024 (GMT+0)

Iona McLean

Think of Iona McLean, and you think of organization. Sounds boring enough, but in her case it's turned into an obsession. It's quirky, and kind of fun - until you find a Post-It note on your chest, written in Iona's precise hand-writing: "John Doe - friend". Well, almost. She labels pretty much everything; if it can be sorted, she sorts it; and give her enough time, she'll color code it as well. And make an entry into her database on her PDA.

But before you learn about her most distinguishing trait, you see her bright blue eyes and long shiny dark hair, held back by a colorful scarf around her forehead. Her clothing as meticulously tidy, always perfectly matched and accessorized, usually in different shades of blue. Now, it's not an obvious in-your-face kind of beauty, but something that grows on you. It shines through in her smile, almost blinding the unwary. Those who take the time to study them, will notice that her eyes are a fascinating shade of blue, shifting in purple at times. The Brothers Grimm might have described her as having "hair black as ebony, lips red as blood and skin as white as snow". You get my drift.

She's also a gifted researcher, although none of her college professors have uncovered that fact yet, since she conducts most of her research at night...