"Um." Kamea opened the hand to show the key. She looked over her shoulder with confusion at her companions. "You mean this? Where are we right now?"

Amara stayed almost protectively by Kamea's side, hands on the hilts of her short swords. Her eyes where slightly widened but she had a hell of a poker face as she took in the room and area around them. This looked almost like a very advanced black market, perhaps? She didn't have much interaction with Gnomes, especially named the Klacken Exchange.

The boy nodded at Kamea, pointing at the key again.

"Yes, you're in the Klacken Exchange. We deliver magical solutions for a mutliverse of problems. That's the slogan at least. Now if I can just see that key we can get you processed and in front of a curator."

From the desk in the corner the old gnome looks up and scowls.

"Twelve! Why are you still yammering about? Get going!"

The young gnome looks over nervously at the old gnome in the desk and then gives the group an apologetic smile.

"Don't mind #1. He just tries to run a tight ship after all. We try to hurry people through arrivals and processing to avoid any intersections. Usually if two groups intersect it's fine but sometimes...well nobody likes cleaning blood out of the upholstery, do they?"

His eyes go wide when he realizes that he may have spoken too much and his grin returns wider than ever.

"But that almost never happens! Don't worry. The Klacken Exchange prides itself on complete neutrality. We deliver magical solutions, what happens afterwards is beyond us. Now I know you have a lot of questions but typically those will be answered by your curator so if you will just follow me we can get you processed and trust me, the curators know so much more than I do. I'm just the greeter. And the messenger. And the cleaner."

He nods his head towards the table which the group notes is spotless and dirt free. He gives them an earnest smile and holds out his hand for the key again.
This message was last edited by the GM at 14:43, Mon 30 Nov 2020.

Seeing that all of his things are here, Tanu calms...some.  "Hey brudda?  We still don't know what dis place is and why we here?  Can you answer that?"

In reply to Dungeon Master (msg # 61):

Kamea held out the key again. "Here it is."

Phelar looked between Kamea and the small one, still beyond all levels of confused.

"Twelve! Get going. You're risking an intersection!"

The grumpy old bleached gnome at the desk is pointing at a bowl of water next to him. It doesn't seem to be anything unusual but the young gnome lad's eyes go wide and he nods. Looking back he begins to ask for the key again but then sees that Kamea has been presenting it the whole time.

"Oh. Sorry. Right."

He snatches away the key, takes a quick look at it and then nods. He begins walking down the hallway towards the giant vault door at the far side of the room.

"As I said your curator will be able to answer your specific questions but I understand if things are a little bit disorienting. Presently you're in the Klacken Exchange, an interdimensional magical exchange, hence the name. Well I guess that isn't completely obvious. My name is Josianamus Klackencogswheel, hence the name. Originally it was the Klackencogswheel Extraplanar Magical Exchange but none of our clients seemed to like that very much so it was eventually just shortened to the Klacken Exchange."

He pauses, looking over his shoulder to make sure everyone is still following. By then the group passed by the desk with the old gnome who gives them a quick judgemental look before calling out to the young gnome, "Vault Four," before going back to studying the ripples in the bowl of water. The young gnome nods and continues leading the group down the hallway.

"The key that you handed me is what we refer to as a guest pass. Our clients can get them issued to allow select guests access to our inventory. Sometimes it is just to do some shopping for the client but many times keys are given out as rewards for services conducted. Each key is single use however. Once your needs have been satisfied, within the limits of your client's tier of course, you'll be transported right back to the exact time and place that you came from. Here we go..."

The gnome stopped about fifty feet away from the giant brass door. The door itself was covered with small engravings depicting various magical scenes. Wizards casting fireballs at dragons or reading ancient tomes or performing grand rituals. The engravings were so detailed that as the party walked forward the way the light and shadows hit the engraving caused them to appear to move. The fireballs would explore, pages would be turned, rituals circles would appear to glow. At first it looked magical but it quickly became apparent it was just expert craftsmanship and tricks of the light as the scenes just flipped back and forth over and over again.

Number Twelve, aka Josianamus, was standing next to a lever set into the marble floor. The young gnome began pulling and pushing the lever, flipping it through a complex series of positions. The ground began to rumble but instead of the giant vault door opening instead the whole wall began to rotate. Along nearly invisible seams the vault door and the wall behind it rotated clockwise so the giant brass door sank into the floor like a setting sun. As it did so on the other side of the wall opposite a new vault door came into view like a sunrise. This one was engraved with pictures of kings and rulers commanding armies and demanding loyalty from their subjects.




This door rotated up into position like the sun rising to midday but then didn't stop, it too continuing to rotate over and set, disappearing beneath the floor. A third vault door rose up and this was engraved with what looked to be heroes fighting terrible monsters or avoiding deadly traps. This time when the vault door was fully visible it locked into position. The gnome pulled the lever one more time and this time the giant vault door opened.

Through the door was what looked to be a giant warehouse filled with shelves.



Looking like library stacks but instead of books each shelf was full of boxes of varying shapes and sizes, each with a little card on the front labeling it. While the shelves themselves seem organized the overall layout is more akin to a maze and very little of the room is actually visible through the haphazard shelf layouts.

Standing on the other side of the vault are two more gnomes waiting patiently. One has a badge that says "#4" and the other has a badge that says "#8". Looking at them it would appear that the gnomes must all be related. Between #4, #8, and #12 it could easily be grandfather, father, and son.

Number Twelve runs forward, handing the key off to Number Four before heading back to man the lever, presumably to close the vault once the party had entered.

The older gnome waves the party forward.

"Greetings and welcome to the Klacken Exchange. I'm guessing by your expressions that this is your first time here and you have a multitude of questions. Come on in and have a seat and we'll make sure your every inquiry is satisfied, to the best of our ability."

He motions for the party to in and then gestures to the side where there is yet another seating area that looks remarkably like the one they just left. It was hard not to feel like the gnomes were shuffling them along like an assembly line, each one repeating a line they had spoken a hundred times before.

"Let's get the obvious questions out of the way, shall we? My name is Josianamus Klackencogswheel but you can just call me Number Four. Next to me is also Josianamus but here we call him Number Eight. I'll be your curator for your stay here and Number Eight will be assisting. Yes, every gnome here is named Josianamus and yes it is because we are all the same person. The Exchange is run by twelve versions of the same person. We're not copies or clones or anything, we are just at twelve different points in our lives. The Exchange operates under a very complicated time loop. Honestly it is a headache and a half to even begin to explain it. All you need to know is that time has effectively stopped for you while you're here. You'll be returned at the exact time and spot that you arrived from.

Now the mission behind the Exchange was to create the universe's greatest magic shop. I succeeded beyond my wildest expectations when I created not just this plane's greatest magical emporium but every plane's greatest magical emporium. We're actually connected to thousands of alternate planes or dimensions or realities or worlds, whatever language you would prefer. Rest assured that our inventory is second to none.

Because of this we do not provide a catalog, so to speak. Instead if you tell us about your desires or interests or problems that you are facing we can provide a solution. Typically this is with a magical item but we do have a wide array of exotic materials. We have found that half the time just having the right metal or mineral is just as good, and far cheaper, than bothering with enchantments.

There are conditions, however. We do not take gold or other baubles from guests. Instead we offer an exchange. You trade us an exotic or magical item and we will return in kind. Depending on current exchange rates this can be very favorable for you. Our clientele mostly caters to wizards and rulers and they tend to put very little value on flashy swords or sturdy armor so mercenaries and adventurers such as yourselves can often get very favorable rates. So come in and have a seat while we check the credit available on your account."

Number Four pats one of the chairs before going off to the side to consult with Number Eight. Number Four pulls out a jeweler's monocole and begins reading off tiny numbers that had been engraved on the key while Number Eight has produced a small black ledger and is flipping through it, repeating the numbers. After a few moments they find the entry they are looking for and then both of them frown. Number Four comes back looking a bit apologetic.

"It appears this account was registered to a local ruler, an Aurek Roderic? Does that sound familiar? Unfortunately not only was he registered only at our entry tier but it appears his account has gone into delinquency. I'm surprised there were any keys left as we should have collected them all. We pride ourselves on satisfying all of our guests so you will still be able to benefit from the Exchange's services, just that there isn't any additional credit available. Depending on your requests we might have to get a little creative to find a satisfactory solution but never fear, Number Eight and I are used to unusual requests and creative solutions. That is why you were sent to us!"

OOC: To put this into context, don't worry about having memorized every single item in your inventory. This is just an in-game way to "upgrade" your equipment to 2nd Edition.

As a general rule of thumb at 3rd level you're expected to have 1 level 2 item and 2 level 1 items.

Some examples of 2nd level items are: +1 weapons, Hat of disguise, hand of the mage, Cold Iron or Silver weapons etc.
Some examples of 1st level items are: minor healing potions, shielding salve, acid flask, alchemist's fire etc.

Don't feel like you have to identify specific items because the point of the Exchange is to not be limited by just what is available in the core rulebook. I have bookshelves full of books from all editions of Pathfinder and D&D and so maybe a custom item is in the cards.

"Okay. I'm lost. This entire thing sounds like a hot mess wrapped in a wish spell of no fucking thank you. Too good to be true and all that. But.... I guess Roderick was a pretty big shot and dealing with some fairy tale tier magic is fitting. It'll depend what you want, and I won't accept any debts or shady offerings on my part but... A good short sword would be nice, possibly a second one too. Also any boots that help with sneaking or items that make me a bit more agile. Otherwise.... fuck it, find something to wow me. I like getting in, killing the enemy and getting out, without being stabbed. Oh, so I guess some good light armor that doesn't make noise?"

Amara is so very very lost. And a bit rambly? Yes. Lost.

The gnomes seem unfazed when Amara unloads on them a little bit. It seems they pride themselves in professionalism and, especially if they cater to adventurers, are used to suspicious attitudes. They listen intently but when Amara delivers the last sentence Number Four gives a smile and nods.

"No debt is necessary, we work entirely on bartering."

He pulls up what looks like a fat wand and waves it over Amara and her magical gear glows briefly blue. Number Four grins and walks over to the desk and pulls out a large box and puts it in front of Aamara.

"It's a little bit of a stretch given the account is empty but I think we can work something out. Eight, please pull the Shadow Teeth."

Number Eight gives a nod and disappears into the stacks. Meanwhile Number Four goes into his desk and pulls out a small token. He flicks it to the ground and a training dummy one would find in a barracks training room appears.

Suddenly from up above, Number Four comes leaping off a ladder with a pair of matched black short swords. The swords appear to be perpetually covered in darkness, absorbing the light that hits them. Number Eight scores a direct hit, sinking both short swords into the dummy. There is a brief pause and then the shadows covering the short swords expands, expanding and consuming Number Eight's form and then disappears.

The party hears the sound of running feet and from around the corner comes Number Eight again, now a little out of breath. He trots up next to Number Four and shows the swords to Amara as Number Four explains.

"The Shadow Teeth are linked to the Plane of Shadow. When you hit with both of them you can briefly teleport through the shadow plane and appear someplace else, instantly. It can't take you very far but if you want to charge in, strike, and get out then these might be the weapons for you."

OOC: Mechanically speaking they are two +1 Shortswords. If you hit with both of them as a Reaction you can teleport up to 30'. You don't need to have Line of Sight to where you teleport but you do need to have seen it before. This can be done 2/day (once per sword, basically).

The swords are paired and become non-magical if only one is held. You don't have to strike with both but if you hold only one in hand then it both looks and functionally becomes a regular sword and becomes difficult to even detect as magic.

Tanu watches what is going on, but holds his tongue.  This is more than he is used to...goblins, sharks, and other tribesmen...these he understands.  Magic he just didn't deal with much...sure healing magic...but other than the Ol' Man and Phelar, not much.

"Mmmm I don't always use both swords but I suppose even if I'm only holding one it's still as good as my current sword. They also look gorgeous. I'm not sure if I get a limited number of items I want it all on a pair of swords but...It is tempting."

Amara is obviously waffling and interested in the pair of swords, but the amount of time she doesn't use her pair to instead use a dagger for throwing is also admittedly making her wary of going all in on the swords. Perhaps it was time to give up her daggers?
This message was last edited by the player at 00:22, Sat 05 Dec 2020.

Number 4 nodded, not put off by Amara's concerns in the slightest. It seems they are used to clients taking awhile to make up their minds.

"No worries take your time. So you want to get into combat and get out again. Well we have a Fencer's Rapier we could part with. The first time you lunge with it it really sends you forward."

OOC: +1 Rapier. 1/day you can use the Fighter's Sudden Charge action

"Well, bloody hell," said Vahan, running his fingers through his hair. He felt over him for what gear he carried, then frowned with furrowed brow pondering what would be useful. Finding his warhammer, he thrust it forth to show it off.

"This here," he said. "Hellsteeth, but it’s served me well. Ya got anything like it, but better? I could use some flamin’ thing like that, and maybe if ya got something that’ll help me bloody heal us up more often. What ya got?"

Number Four tugged at his beard and his eyes looked at the holy symbols on Vahan before he turned to Eight and said. "Get the Forgehammer. And a healing stick."

Eight ran off and returned first one box and then another. Opening up the first revealed a warhammer with a thickly wrapped handle and a silvery black head. Emblazoned on the sides of the hammer were the stamp of a mountain with what looked to be a diamond or gem inside of it.

"This is a Forgehammer. It's made out of a special metal called...Dumathoin I believe. If you pray to a god of the forge or fire or crafting...broad selection really... then the head heats up. Burns your enemies or can be used to heat up metal without a forge."

The other box contained a long metallic rod wit a pronged tip on one end and a black crystal square on the other. It had a stud next to the square and when Four pushed it the black square showed a green rectangle inside of it like a magical rune and the whole thing gave off a slight hum.

"Another option is the healing stick. Don't ask how it works, it just does. Turn it on and stick someone with the prongs and it can heal their wounds. Twist the nob and it can fire darts that do the same thing and twist it the other way and it powers up and releases a cloud of healing vapors.

You can use it about once a day safely. If you use it more then that, well sometimes they get depleted and don't power back up again."

OOC: For the Forgehammer given a short rest you can convert its damage type from bludgeoning to fire. This can be done whenever you want but it takes a short rest (~10 minutes) of prayer to convert it from one to the other. When heated it'll let you craft metals as well but that is a long rest activity. Otherwise it is a +1 weapon.

The healing stick is a wand that can cast heal, just with a futuristic flair to it.

If you take the wand, that is all you're getting. If you take the forgehammer they'll probably through in a couple healing potions.

The Dwarf’s eyes lit up at the sight of the weapon.

"Foehammer it bloody is then!" he said. "A sight to make the Father of Creation himself proud."

A wicked grin plastered his face. "Many thanks to ya."

After all the discussion of healing stuff, that’s just too cool to pass up. :D

Phelar looked at what Amara wished far, and Vahan wished for, then considered for a moment. "I am an archeologist, from Sovyrian. I am also an Elementalist, and a healer." She said, considering. "Anything that can help with any of those would be good. But also, anything that can help with my defense would be good." She added. "There is this too...  Abilities like it has on either my staff, or my crossbow would be helpful too." She said with a nod as she produced the magical Goblin Dogslicer they had found, as well as giving a small list idea's to see what they come up with.

"I yield. I'll take the Teeth myself. It's like they're made for me."

Amara admitted the rapier was cool but she did so enjoy her short swords. Perhaps one day she'd trade one in, but not today, that was for sure.

Number Four's professional smile turns a shade to the smug side as the heroes' eyes light up seeing the wonders before them. As Phelar speaks, Four listens intently and gives a little chuckle at the end.

"Alright, that's a lot of avenues to look through. Alright let me think...Eight, let's just keep things simple. Pull an Trans-Elemental Orb."

Eight frowns and tugs at his own beard in the exact same mannerism that Four had done earlier.

"Do we still have any of those left?"

"Check in the way back. Sometimes the little boxes fall between the shelves."

Eight nods and pulls out a pair of goggles, putting them on his head and adjusting the lens before scanning around whispering "Trans-Elemental Orb, Trans-Elemental Orb, Trans-Elemental...ah you were right."

He pulls off the goggles and trots off into the maze of shelves again. This time he doesn't return presently, instead there is the sound of shuffling boxes and what sounds like a bookshelf toppling over accompanyied by a huge crash. Number Four winces but quickly looks at the others, waving his hand to assure them that everything is alright.

Number Eight returns a few minutes later looking like he had gone three rounds with an ogre. He drops the box on the table and picks up the healing stick, zapping himself to bind his wounds. Four just rolls his eyes and opens up the box.

Inside is an orb, perfectly spherical, that seems to glow different colors in the light. Number Four rotates it so it shifts between glowing different colors, like a rainbow viewed one color at a time.

"This is a Trans-Elemental Orb. It takes some practice getting used to it but how it works is that you prime it by casting a spell into the orb and it picks up the properties of that spell. If you cast a freezing spell at it, it becomes filled with ice. If you cast a fire spell at it, it looks like it holds red-hot lava. You get the idea. Then once it is primed if you cast another spell through it, it transforms your spell's elemental energy into the elemental type stored in the orb.

So many spells wizards have are based on rote memorization. No creativity. One plane of energy is as good as the next."

He puts the orb back into the box, nestled in a pillow to keep it protected and stationary.

OOC: Mechanically it's as described. Cast a spell with an energy type damage (e.g. acid, cold, fire, electricity, fire, negative, positive, sonic) and then the next spell cast through it switches damage type. There may be some unintended side effects. For example a cone of cold converted to fire probably won't "freeze" people in place. A lightning bolt converted probably won't "jump" from person to person etc.

This message was last edited by the player at 05:48, Thu 10 Dec 2020.

Watching the others, Tanu thinks for a second, and then speaks up.  "My Da had a shark tooth dagger.  It was short and whitish...stubby and think at the base...and wicked," he makes a rough curve with short jagged teeth(ish) moves with his had, "little teeth.  You won't have my Da's, but do you have a shark tooth dagger?  It would feel like home some.  We made a lot of things out of shark tooth...clubs, needles, hooks."  He looks around the table and gets a little excited.



[OOC]apologies...think one thing with pic and typed another.
This message was last edited by the player at 23:44, Mon 07 Dec 2020.

Number Four raises an eyebrow in surprise.

"How big of sharks are you encountering to make a sword out of? That wouldn't make any sense. Shark teeth are triangular with a wider base so a tooth large enough to use as a sword would be gigan..."

Number Eight taps him and leans over, whispering in his ear. Four nods and motions for him to go.


"A shark tooth sword isn't something I'm familiar with but we do have a couple of options. One is a shark tooth club. They called it a 'layamono' I think. Popular among island tribes that don't have metals for a cutting edge but this one's been enchanted.



If you hit it just right the teeth actually break off into your enemy's flesh and continue to burrow in. Quite painful I'd imagine.

We also have a short sword made out of a leviathon's tooth. They have longer thinner teeth, plus are just a lot bigger overall, so you can get a 20" blade out of it easily. If you want we could put a handle on it and weight it a with an inner core and turn it into a longsword even.

Would either of those interest you?"


OOC: The sharktooth club would count as a +1 Greatclub where if you crit you inflict 1d10 persistent bleed damage on the target.

The leviathan blade is only a +1 weapon but because of the power of its source creature it could accept any level rune on it making it far more upgradable than most weapons found.

This message was last edited by the player at 13:41, Wed 09 Dec 2020.

Tanu's eyes go big when you mention the leviathan.  "You got a sword from a behemoth?  De bigger dan whales...can I see it?"

Number Four nods and sends Eight into the stacks. Eight comes back with a box that is long and thick, opening it up to reveal a large tooth with a handle crafted for it.



"We can change the handle around, that isn't really important to it. The blade is stronger than steel and as far as we can tell will always carry an edge."

It's a little short for a longsword, a little long for a shortsword and it is very broad although surprisingly light and flexible when picked up.

Moving slowly, Tanu picks it up and tests the grip and balance.  "Somebody work real hard to get this." He is marveling at the tooth.

Number Four gives a shrug.

"I could look up how we acquired it but I think you'd prefer the mystery over the reality, wouldn't you agree?"