Saskia doesn't notice the emergency until its all but over -- too busy talking to Eneris about time served in the Navy.  Both had been in the Marches during their careers, but in different subsector fleets.

Then their conversation had been interrupted by Yas suddenly jumping to her feet and moving around to assist Keryn.  Not really surprising.  In their years on this ship together, Yas has always kept a close eye on everybody aboard and has usually been the first to notice impending trouble, and spring into action.  Imperial Marine training makes for the best guardian angels.

The incident is over before anybody else reacts.  Good work Yas.

"Are you all right, Keryn?"

Ash watches wide-eyed as Yasmine ministered to Keryn; he is more than a touch stunned at the immediacy of the circumstances.  He had not reacted or noticed nearly quickly enough.  He nods in agreement with Saskia, the engineer had the right of it; hopefully, Keryn would be all right.

He pursed his lips for a moment; they were lucky that the Security Chief had known what was happening and what to do.  "Well done, Chief." he acknowledges, adding admiringly, "That dress doesn't seem to have hampered your reflexes at all..."  Then he stands and moves to straighten out her chair and wait for Yasmine to sit first again.  The lanky navigator runs his hands through short cropped hair a touch sheepishly, as it is an archaic gesture.  But, he figures that it is only courteous.

"No worries, girl, we all been there, bad jokes are dangerous," Yas says with a grin and resists the urge to ruffle Keryn's hairdo.  As long as the girl was all right it was enough for her, but she will really miss her once she is gone.  She moves back to her seat where Ash is waiting before she cracks and ruffles that hair.

"Well, it's a bit awkward to move in, but at least it stayed on," she replies to him in a stage whisper.  Evidently the molecular tape worked as advertised.  Then again, she knew what it could do from the service, but it was nice to see the civilian version worked too.  As for the action itself it was more instinctive than anything, even if she had to admit to herself at least that she watches Keryn a bit more closely.

She flashes Ash a smile and takes her seat again, not having seen much courteous behaviour outside of holovids.  Sure are far worse things to experience.  "Thank you."

"Yes, yes.  I'm fine.  Thank you.  Apart from the embarrassment."  Keryn takes a more careful sip of her drink, "Sorry if I spoiled anybody's enjoyment of this lovely meal."

"Corlan shakes his head, "Nonsense.  While I was a little concerned, my dinner has not been ruined now that I know you are recovered.  I suspect the same goes for others."

"Next time I'll try to give you more warning." Jockram says, smiling.  "If you see me scratch my left ear, then I'm about to say something mildly funny.  Scratching my right ear means there's a danger of choking.  And if you see me making this face... " he twists his face into a most alarming grimace, before continuing, "... that means I'm about to tell a joke so devastatingly funny that it's been known to kill entire world economies because people are too busy laughing to do their jobs."

"Talking of which...  A Zhodani, a Vargr, and a Hiver walk into a bar and the Hiver waggles its tendrils at the barman... "

Banster and Hegerich both groan in unison, "Not this one again."  "This joke is terrible.  If you're going to tell it again, I'd rather stand outside the airlock, without a suit."

Jago sips his drink and happily samples the delights that Shui has prepared, somewhat amused by the attention Keryn can generate just by snorting her drink.

Jockram’s jokes have been round the block a few times to be sure, but he could make people laugh, or short their drink, buy reading the names in a company directory, Jago enjoys the performance and bets himself that Banster and Hegerich will both laugh as well, at the end of it.

A good do, all in all, just the thing to take his mind off the financial killing he’d had to sacrifice because of the criminal elements on the planet below, and the prospect of a second jump with the same cargo and no new passengers.

With a sigh Jago drains his glass and fills it up again.
 

Tylen pauses as he watches the byplay around Keryn and her drink, but once that is sorted out, everyone has returned to their places and some sort or normality descended - he turns his attention back to Shui's comment.

"Oh, I am sure that each of the services and just about every settled world has stories like that.  A story like that, with some real truth behind it, accounts for many of the hunters, and even fishermen, on Lopiengata carrying two guns. It is, perhaps, a bit gory for dinner, but I'd be happy to run through it over a bottle of wine some time." he suggests letting his knee press lightly against hers.

Shui cocks an eyebrow at Tylen.  "I'm not sure it's a fine recounting for a bottle of wine, either, though as a child I did enjoy the occasional ghost story.  So I shall most certainly take you up on that offer, Mr. Orgesh."  She shoots a quick look around the table, judging how things proceed, and gives Tylen a brief touch on the forearm.  "Perhaps the next time we stop at a port with any kind of worthwhile wine shops...Captain Jockram, Mr. Banster, and Mr. Hegerich certainly saved the day with their offers."

Even if Jockram's joke is an old one; some things are certainly forgiveable.

"I know the Navy has stories like that." Eneris chips in, "I know one quite well, because it happened on my ship.  We had a new ensign, name of... oh... what was it?  Ah... Niim, that was it.  So he was straight out of the Academy and thought he knew it all.  He was assigned to Third Shift on the Bridge one night, Communications.  We were on patrol, so we had just made a routine Jump, and the Nav asks Niim if he minds monitoring sensors while he goes to the fresher.  Niim says, 'No problem', and the Nav shunts the sensor feeds over to his panel."

"A few minutes later the rest of the Bridge crew all see Niim giving his panel a funny look, and starting to reconfigure it.  Only from the look on his face, it isn't doing any good.  Of course the others know what's happening - they're all in on the joke and trying not to laugh.  The Nav's standing just outside the door, using a hand comp to feed inputs to his own panel, which are then forwarded to Niim's sensor displays."

Eneris chuckles, and glances at Corlan and Keryn, "I don't know if you know, but ships can't detect each other in Jump, or communicate.  Each sits in its own tiny universe, completely cut off from everything outside.  Well... Niim was seeing something on the sensors - dozens of ships.  Nav had loaded in a simulation of a Zhodani task force, and it was a real beauty.  About a half minute in, our passive sensors started picking up their active scans and Niim really starts to worry."

"Thing is he doesn't want to say anything to the Duty Commander in case he's done something wrong, because he knows that he shouldn't even be able to detect anything in Jump."

"Anway, about then his own comms telltale starts blinking, so he shunts the signal to his earpiece, then screams and damn near falls out of his chair, because what he's hearing is a voice, with a Zho accent, whispering, 'Ve arr coming to ged you, Niim!'"

Ash chuckles and bows slightly to Yasmine, "My pleasure."

He seats himself again next to her and shakes his head at all of the jokes flying back and forth.  He doesn't bother to acknowledge Jockram retelling of a well-worn classic.  Though to be honest he still wonders how the Hiver supposedly got two tendrils stuck in a bottle.

Ash shrugs slightly when the idea of ships having their own 'ghosts'.  "Lots of strange stuff out there in the universe." he says rather enigmatically, "And it is lonely in the Deep Black.  Those x-boat runs especially."  And he seems to be speaking from some level of personal experience, "Really lonely."  The Profit Margin's navigator grimaces slightly, "It's really weird not having an m-drive and just sitting there drifting for days in n-space..."  He shudders slightly then shrugs again.

Moving on, the thin navigator points to Eneris, "Your Duty Commander must have been my first XO's brother.  I was plotting my first jump fresh out of training.  It was on an old Type T Patrol Corvette on border patrol out of Jewell."

"Due to the jump flash," he points out, pausing for a short digression, "there is always a momentary reorientation calibration for the sensor arrays after the j-space transition.  So, the ship is blind until they fully reset."

Ash smiles ruefully as he starts to more fully recall the details of his own story with him as the butt of the joke, "Anyway, we came out of the J-transition and the XO - with the blessing of the Captain, of course - had rigged the planetary proximity alarms to trigger..."

Shui isn't so certain Eneris' story is amusing.  Not for her, anyway.  Oh, she's perfectly aware that it could be considered humorous, and probably would be by most people.  Not so much for her.  Putting that kind of tension in another person doesn't make her laugh, no matter how cleverly done; it sets her nerves on edge.

The practical 'joke' played on Ash is even less amusing.  She can only imagine the panic, the instantaneous guilt Ash felt before he realized it was all trick.  And Shui knows all about guilt.  "Sounds...horrid," the steward murmurs, taking a small sip of her drink.  Then she stands, moving around the table again to collect plates and prepare for the next portion of the meal.

She'll end up being a wet blanket on the discussion if she's not careful, and that's something Shui doesn't want at all.

Tylen just raises an eyebrow.  He has heard  stories like that before but nothing quite that bad had happened to him.  His first job had been ground-side, and while he had been sent to fetch the traditional left handed screw driver and various other little pranks, there had been nothing  in the same league as those.  But then, perhaps it was the service and the scouts were a bit more 'grown up' than the other services.

Anyway, he tops glasses up around the table and then leans back in his chair, glass in hand as the party continues.

"Well know, this joke I have to hear," Yas proclaims as she sees the reaction of Jockram's companions.

As the stories goes to ghosts and x-boats she remains silent.  Briefly she considers retelling the time when she was left drifting in a malfunctioning escape pod with four other Marines, only to lose one before they finally was saved more than a week later, only to learn they were the only ones left alive out of their whole platoon.  And it was not ever during any war.  But no, too grim, and she does her best to steer away from it, beyond a knowing look at the Profit Margin navigator as he speaks of lonely.

She opts for a slightly less tomb-like approach.

"Oh, yes, playing tricks on people, part of the training, eh?  Much more fun was the practical jokes we played on each other in the platoon, such as filling someone's socks with whipped cream just before inspection, ha!  Or replacing the soap with a perfect copy made out of charbonite, you know, the chalk-like substance that has to wear of rather than being washed off, ha!  Once we even made another squad turn blue using the showers, not to mention the time I ended up with white, straight hair, ha!  I got him back, though, oh yes..."

Time moves on, and the tone of the conversation ebbs and flows, from stories of haunted ships to tales of practical jokes, to the latest news on the War, to the recently reported death of Duke Norris, and back to somewhat lighter topics.

And after doggedly refusing to tell his joke for some time, mostly due to threats of dire consequences from his own crew, Jockram finally gives in to pressure from Yas, Keryn and Corlan and tells his joke about the Zhodani, the Vargr and the Hiver...

"A Zhodani, a Vargr and a Hiver walk into a bar, and the Hiver wiggles its tendrils at the barman.  The barman, knowing that Hivers have no vocal apparatus, and speak using a complex sign language, says, "Sorry mate, I don't understand what you're saying."  The Zhodani closes his eyes and concentrates, then pronounces, "That's hardly surprising, he's very drunk.  I'll have a glass of pliebr wine, please."

"So then the barman asks the Vargr what he'd like to drink, and the Vargr says, "Nothing for me thank you.  I'm only here because you need three people for one of these jokes."

Corlan groans, as Banster reminds everybody that they were warned, and Keryn throws half a bread roll across the table, hitting Ore Hound's captain just above the ear...

Saskia's head slumps, almost landing in the remains of her food.  Then she straightens up slowly and stares at the belter, "Frelling Hezmana, Jockram.  I don't know how you have the mivonks to tell that to people who are still alive.  Why hasn't somebody shot you yet?"

Time to change the subject, perhaps to something more entertaining, "Who wants to see how long Jockram can stay alive in hard vacc, wearing just his underwear, and with Tylen shooting at him from the lower turret?  I'd say Yas, but her turret uses plasma weapons, and it just wouldn't be as sporting because even a near miss would kill him.  Plus she isn't dressed for it."  Then another thought strikes her, an even more interesting one, and her voice drops to a near whisper as she makes her suggestion, "Or would anybody like to hear a real ghost story about the Margin.  All true, and it scared the dren out of everybody at the time."

"I vote for the real Ghost Story," Shui states in the aftermath of the seemingly horrible joke.  Horrible to most; not being one to prefer puns, she finds it rather clever.  Jockram seems to be enjoying the negative attention - no doubt the point - so she gives a small smile and a raised glass in the direction of the other captain.

"I personally think the joke a decent one," the steward continues, "and would rather not see Mr. Jockram spaced."

'Mr.' Jockram; on the Profit Margin, there is only one captain, much as there would be aboard the Ore Hound.

"I think you'll like the story, Shui.  It has to do with some of your duties, even though a different person was doing your job then." Saskia says with the faintest of smiles, "I hope it doesn't give you nightmares."

Tylen fills his glass again and then settles back in his chair as he awaits the story..

Jockram smiles, and raises his glass to Shui, before growling at his two crewmen, "See?  Some people like my jokes.  Not everybody qualifies as uncivilised heathens, like you two good-for-nothings.  Why, I bet Saskia is only pretending to hate it so people won't realise that she's really very cultured and sophisticated."

"Shui's probably only heard it this once." Hegerich responds with a sigh, "That wasn't even the first time I've heard you tell it today.  Next thing you'll be asking, 'What's round and bites?'"

"A vicious circle." Banster replies promptly.  "Heard that a couple of times today too."

"That's a lie.  I haven't told that one since yesterday." protests their captain.

Keryn clears her throat, and interrupts, "Profit Margin has a ghost?  Me!  I'd like to hear about it." she says, enthusiastically.  Then she calms down as she adds, "Unless it lives in my cabin.  In which case I don't want to hear about it, even a little bit, and would like to formally request, Captain Lanza, that I be moved to different accommodation."

Then she laughs, "Not really.  I like ghost stories.  Even the ones that clearly aren't true.  Like when nobody lives to tell the tale, so how do people know all the details of what happened to them?"

Eneris also expresses interest in the tale, though Corlan remarks that, while he too lived through the haunting, he would be interested in hearing Saskia's version of events.

Jago cocks an eyebrow and smiles quietly to his self while speculating on which story the Saskia as in mind.

Ash's right eyebrow rises at the prospect of another ghost story, especially given the supposed venue.  "Do tell, Ms. Blake." he piles on with some eagerness, "Here on the Profit Margin?"  There is just a hint of skepticism in his tone, not disbelief, mind you - merely, that now this much more personal.  He almost expects the lights to flicker and Saskia to use her most sinister voice.

Still, it has already been prefaced as the distant past.  Ash cast a glance in Jago's direction, just to see the Captain's reaction.  As it seems that only he or Yasmine are likely to be able to potentially attest to the veracity of this particular story.  Then his body turns slightly as the Margin's navigator turns to more fully regard Saskia, giving the engineer his full attention for her story.  "A ghost on the Profit Margin..." he muses quietly a mix of eager wonderment and bemused nervousness present.

"Colour me most curious, Ms. Blake," Shui replies, eyebrows raised.  "It may give me nightmares, but I'm too interested to skip it, I fear."  If it does, it'll make a welcome change from the ones that occasionally stop in for a visit, even now.

She can't help but smile at the banter between the Ore Hound's shipmates. "I rather like the vicious circle, as well, though I imagine if the witticisms are overdone, they lose their taste." A small nod to the other ship's captain.  "Perhaps some additional material for your crewmates, Mr. Jockram, saving your oldest and best for new acquaintences like myself?"

Saskia smiles nervously as all eyes turn to her.  She sips her drink, and then starts to tell the tale.

"It was a couple of years ago, in the Wypoc system, I think.  We ran into a ship full of Vargr pirates.  Ridge, who used to have Tylen's job, got in a lucky shot with a missile.  Knocked out Engineering and left them drifting, powerless, in space.  No M-drive, no Jump, weapons all down.

"So we picked up a couple of survivors and put them in cryoberths until we could hand them over to the authorities.  Then we Jumped to our next destination, because we had other passengers who wanted to get there."

The engineer takes another sip of her drink before continuing.

"And while we were in Jump, we started seeing a ghost.  A Vargr who would show up somewhere on the ship and glare at anybody it would meet.  One time it was even on the outside of the hull, in Jump, without a suit -- not that a suit would have done it any good, because J-Space doesn't follow normal rules, and a person outside the ship, even in a suit, would just end up inside-out or turned into a billion kilometre long monofilament thread, or something.

"But while all this was happening, we kept getting electrical faults across most of the ship, and one of the passengers, a kid, was having nightmares about a monster coming to kill us all.  A monster that, from his description, looked a lot like the ghostly Vargr."

Saskia looks around the table to see if anybody is still listening.  "And we could hear the ghost laughing at us from the internal comms, and whispering stuff about how he was in Vargr Hell, and would have revenge on us for killing him.

"Anyway, it was the worst week I ever spent in Jump.  And it got worse, we didn't drop out at the expected time.  Emergence was nearly twelve hours late, with a slew of minor system burn-outs all across the ship, and we ended up limping into port, where we thawed out the Vargr and began to get some idea of what had happened.

"One of the berths had malfunctioned, dropping the prisoner's core temperature lower than usual.  Much lower.  His brain cells became superconductive, and he kind of woke up in the berth.  He couldn't move, and he felt cold, and everything was black, so he was convinced he was dead and his afterlife wasn't very nice.  So he just lay there planning to get back at the people who killed him.

"Which would have been no problem, but for the kid.  He was a psionic, which is probably why his family were in such a hurry to move to a new world before somebody found out about it and had them all arrested.  Anyhow, the kid was picking up the Vargr's thoughts while he was asleep, which explains his nightmares, and why we only saw the ghost on the night cycle.  The kid's psi powers were broadcasting the Vargr's thoughts, making us hallucinate all the ghost dren, and they were even affecting the ship."

Another smile, "The End.  Thank you very much, you've been a wonderful audience.  I'll be here, well, pretty much for the rest of my life, I suppose."

"That wasn't really a ghost story, I think," says Keryn, "but it was spooky.  Thank you."

Corlan chuckles, "It was even spookier for those of us aboard the ship when it happened.  The lights kept flickering, and the heating in my cabin was very erratic."

Ore Hound's crew all look suitably impressed by Saskia's tale, while Eneris appears a little skeptical at first, at least until Corlan confirms the veracity of Saskia's story.

Finally the grizzled veteran shakes his head, "Have to admit, I don't have anything to top that one."

"Well now, Sassy, do you actually plan to stay here at this table until you die?  Death by overeating?  I know Sushi's food's good, but still..." Yas says with a deadpan voice and expression, as is her customary style, unless it is a huge grin, having kept that poker face throughout the story, merely shaking her head on occasion.

"But yeah, that's about as real as ghost stories gets.  I haven't got one, but I do have another story, although, not sure this is the time and place for it.  Not much gore or that, but any way..." she muses, tapping a finger on the tip of her nose.  "It's about finding saving lives instead of taking, not leaving anyone behind and all that Corps stuff...  Just without the killing, that is."

Shui HAS heard the story before, and anticipated it, but it's one worth hearing again even moreso due to its veracity.  When Saskia finishes, she raises a glass to the engineer in salute. "Well told, Ms. Blake.  A true ghost story, and a fine one indeed.  It would be hard, if not impossible, to beat."

The others chime in with their own feelings.  Then Yasmine speaks.  Shui smiles and nods slightly at the cooking jape, but she grows more serious and her eyebrows rise as the Security Officer announces another potential tale.  "I would be pleased indeed to hear it," she puts in.  "I'm always ready to hear stories of that nature, Ms. Crow."