~Jaguar
 member, 3249 posts
 The Hiding Amaranth...
 http://midnightquills.net
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 01:12
Re: GRRRrrr
In reply to Eggy (msg # 191):

The moment you suddenly come up with a character concept who is a cross between Cousin It and a Carebear!
Eggy
 member, 638 posts
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 01:33
Re: GRRRrrr
Yes! Glamour Bear.
ShadoPrism
 member, 873 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 04:46
Re: GRRRrrr
In reply to Eggy (msg # 193):

Would that be related to Rapunzel Bear ?
Tyr Hawk
 member, 100 posts
 You know that one guy?
 Yeah, that's me.
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 18:03
Dear SWEET Doge...
So, I've been having One of Those WeeksTM and, frankly, I just need to let off some steam.

I'm in the Master's of Education for Secondary English Education Program at my school, and lately I have been just so tired with the way Education is approached in America. I'm a grad student. My undergrad was a BA in English. I've been in school for the better part of the last 20 years. I know how to write a 3-5 page essay by now. I get that professors need something to show they've gauged my learning in the class. I get that not everyone in all of my classes is an English Education Major, and that maybe they still need some help with such things. But I swear by all the gods of every faith that I am going to explode if I have to keep this up. Writing essays doesn't challenge me. It doesn't really mean I'll take any of the information with me, especially when I'm just expected to regurgitate whatever I already said in class. Multiple choice questions on exams do the same thing.

But more important than this is that the Lit classes I'm forced to take are all pointless to me outside of being literature. So I've read Rip Van Winkle now, and so I understand its historical context. So I've experienced the horrors of All's Quiet on the Western Front. I've read the words, and I understand all of them, and I get the stories now, but what I don't get is why in Doge's name I'm not learning about these books in a way that isn't exactly like I learned them in third grade. It's mechanical to me, and mechanical learning is the worst kind because it doesn't engage a student. It doesn't help me to grow, and that's what Education (with a capital E) should be about.

And the fun doesn't stop there!

No, if it weren't enough that I'm flushing money and time away to get a piece of paper which says I'm qualified to do something that dozens of people have already said I'm good at (I was a Math Tutor and an English Tutor throughout High School and my Undergrad. I even got to teach a few classes while I was in High School because I was smart, personable, and the subs didn't know the material at all), if THAT weren't enough then this week has been trying my patience and my physical limits at every turn. Every day this week I've woken up feeling exhausted because of the previous day's efforts.

On Sunday it was because I ran a game for 4 hours and finalized the first draft of my custom social combat system for Anima (more on that later). On Monday it was because people were arguing with me about said custom system the whole day, and when then I had to stay up late to finish some homework. On Tuesday it was because I got to bed late (again), and I was freezing, so I was moving sluggishly. It was also raining on Tuesday, so I didn't get to bike to school, which meant I was feeling pretty slow all day. I also gave blood on Tuesday (yay Blood donations!), which was fine except that I had to reschedule my appointment three hours beforehand because I'd forgotten my own schedule, and then needles and I aren't friends. So I wake up Wednesday morning feeling even more drained from what was then three days of people arguing with me, the blood donation, and the massive amounts of thick reading I've been doing (research reports and Benito Cereno are not a good combination). I pour juice instead of milk into my cereal, ruining most of it. I bike to school, and afterwards I bike a couple more miles to an appointment, but miss the place by a few blocks on what Google Maps says is a "mostly flat" stretch of road, but which really means "It's a slight uphill battle the whole way, loser," and with textbooks and my laptop in my backpack the extra effort was not kind to me. Today hasn't been better. Suffice it to say that argument is still going on and I'm getting to the point where I'm ready to write off these otherwise intelligent people as braindead when it comes to this one subject.

What is the nature of the argument, one might ask? Well it revolved around three points, which I'll give a brief summary on:
1. Social rolls in tabletop games are mind control. My opponents think they are, I think they aren't.
2. Social rolls in tabletop games can't possibly reflect the nuance and situational conditions of real social interactions. I disagree.
3. I'm an [expletive deleted]. I disagree on this point too, but only in this particular conversation (I'm a bit of an [expletive deleted], I'm just not being on in this specific conversation).

Now, most of the contention on these three points seems to be that everyone this week in intent on misinterpreting everything I say, construing it in a way that's insulting to them, or simply taking out all the substance of my argument and saying "Aha, so you DO admit it's Mind Control." Now, yes, I'm overexaggerating just a bit. There are some people I've had completely decent human communication with, and it's been fine. But I'll be a monkey's uncle if it hasn't been the majority interpreting me wrong. It's gotten to the point where I'm apologizing for just about everything I say now just to avoid seeming like some glaring [expletive deleted]. Thus it takes me twice as long to say whatever I'm saying, and it makes me seem whiny, or too sincere, or something else negative.

Why haven't I given up on the argument, you ask? Oh ho. That's because I'm stubborn and think that people are generally good. I think that people are rational and will, if presented with enough evidence, at least consider the possibility that they're not absolutely correct and I'm not absolutely wrong. I believe in people, despite all the evidence piled up on the other side of the scale, because without that belief I don't think I would be able to make it through another day. I know that not all people are good, decent, reasonable, or any combination of  the three. I just like to start from that point and exhaust all options before giving it up, you know? It's self-destructive, I know, but I'm Tyr The Martyr (patent pending), so it's kind of what I do...

In short: I'm tired. I'm getting depressed thinking about how some people are (yes, when people are unreasonable or mean it makes me physically sad). And, well, I just can't win this week... but I haven't let it keep me from trying.

Thanks for reading, assuming anyone has.



Also, please, please, please, I'm begging everyone who reads this: don't get into the conversation about whether social rolls are mind control with me. I'm happy to link the conversation (which leads to an outside site), and (if I can find it) even the old argument I had about it on this very site, but I couldn't handle it if this became another battle in the little war I've gotten myself into... yeah.
ShadoPrism
 member, 874 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 18:42
Dear SWEET Doge...
In reply to Tyr Hawk (msg # 195):

Nice vent.

Question: are the people your arguing with Psych majors ? Cause having been one, their argument seems to be coming from that angle (and from my experience Psych majors love to argue these strange topics). Past that, ever thought of using the money you spend on Collage in the US and moving to one of the countries that have both exceptional education systems as well as Free education systems (had I known of those back when I was in collage I think I would have happily moved to one of those said countries myself, provided they spoke mostly english cause I am most terrible at learning other languages.)
As for those misunderstandings in communications. I think most of us have been through those a few (hundred) times or more in our lives. I can give examples from my life, but won't as this is supposed to be about you and not me. (I have learned that for some reason, using examples from my own life, while trying to be understanding or supportive of someone else is considered to be trying to focus the conversation back on to me, why that is I have no idea or understanding to. But that is a separate vent).
Tyr Hawk
 member, 101 posts
 You know that one guy?
 Yeah, that's me.
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 19:10
Dear SWEET Doge...
In reply to ShadoPrism (msg # 196):

Edit: Thank you. I do try. ;)

I've considered all of this.

If they are Psych Majors, they don't argue from any kind of psychological perspective that I can recognize, and definitely don't claim to be working from them. I've approached the argument from the Psychological aspects of it myself, because I was very nearly a Psych minor, but there doesn't seem to be a logical response from the other side that addresses my rebuttals to it (not saying the responses themselves aren't logical, merely that they aren't pointed in that direction).

As far as moving, I've more than considered it. I've planned to do it at times, set things in motion, but something has always fallen through. Either the job was no longer there to go to, I found myself at odds with whomever was meant to help send me anon, or the money disappears into some unforeseen expenditure, or something similar. Now, I realize these are all excuses, and I could just pack up an go tomorrow, but the options have been weighed and this path is more favorable for the moment, even if it's terribly frustrating. I will do it at some point, go to somewhere and live such a life, but, for the time being, the way is barred to me (thanks, in part, to my own hold-ups). And I honestly don't spend much on schooling (scholarships and whatnot), it's more the principle of the matter, you know?

And to your last point: really, I don't mind personal anecdotes. I suppose I'm in the "misery loves company" business, so fire away. ;)

This message was last edited by the user at 19:11, Thu 29 Oct 2015.

ShadoPrism
 member, 875 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 19:30
Re: Dear SWEET Doge...
Tyr Hawk:
And to your last point: really, I don't mind personal anecdotes. I suppose I'm in the "misery loves company" business, so fire away. ;)


hehehe, good come back.

The one long running miscommunications I had concerned an old used car I had (1986 Buick Lesabre) Thing was a boat (second largest car ever built, as compared to a 1977 Lincoln Continental), which has nothing to do with the problem I had with it, it's just for color.
Anyway, the washer motor on the windshield wipers did not work, but when ever I took it in to a mechanic (any mechanic) I could not get them to look at it cause none of the local ones worked on intermediate wipers. I could NOT get any of the to understand that it was Not the wipers that was the problem.
After a couple years I got a new car. At one point the washer motor blew out in it and when I told my mechanic he said no problem and fixed it easily. But when I told him I thought he did not do that sort of thing he was confused. It took me getting a New car (that had intermediate wipers) and telling him how I tried to get them to make the Same fix to the previous car I had, before they understood my confusion about that procedure.
(Ironically the person I sold the car to later told me he can't seem to find anyone who will fix the washer motor either. When I told him to try saying it was on Any other make of car, then Everyone seemed to know how to fix it. It's like that old Buick was cursed or something.)

Some conversations are like this, no matter how straight forward your item is, there is just something in the group unconsciousness that locks on to one thing and can't seem to let go of that thing no matter how inconsequential that one thing is.

Technically speaking, all social actions are mind control, as we are trying to influence how the other people perceive what we are saying or doing and thus trying to control others perceptions and minds. (this is a very loose version of it to be sure)
Tyr Hawk
 member, 102 posts
 You know that one guy?
 Yeah, that's me.
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 19:45
Re: Dear SWEET Doge...
In reply to ShadoPrism (msg # 198):

It seems to be so. It surely seems to be so.

And, yes, by that definition you're right. That's even the very definition of control that I conceded, but they are not content with my concessions. At any rate, I won't get into here, as I said before. Especially since I need to go to class now.

Thank you for your co-misery. ;) It really does help a bit to know it's not just me.
Brianna
 member, 2020 posts
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 22:27
Re: Dear SWEET Doge...
So I went to the bank today because pension cheques (my only income) are put in three days before the end of the month.  I want to pay whatever I owe on my Visa (not the statement amount but the current one) and just about fainted when the nice young lady told me the balance showing.  So she printed out everything that went through since my last statement, and there are six charges (totalling more than my monthly income) for XBox.  I don't own an XBox, and I certainly haven't been charging anything (even my dental bills) in that amount, let alone six times in one day!  Hopefully Visa can figure out what happened, and I don't need to cancel the card, then try to remember everywhere I've used it.  *sigh*
ShadoPrism
 member, 876 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 22:32
Re: Dear SWEET Doge...
Identity thieves need to be taken out and shot. They ruin more lives than many people realize.
Finding the perp however should not be To hard as they have to have an ISP to charge for those X-box purchases. Back track that to it's source then press charges apon Whomever has that account. It will send them a nice message and hopefully a prison sentence.
OceanLake
 member, 929 posts
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 22:42
Re: Dear SWEET Doge...
Hung from trees beside malicious hackers and swindlers.
Evil Empryss
 member, 1376 posts
 Because knowing
 is half the battle!
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 23:31
Re: Dear SWEET Doge...
My stupid city decided that a school night was a better time for trick or treats than the actual holiday on a Saturday. They wouldn't move the 4th of July to the 1st of July. They ruined my holiday. >:(
Tyr Hawk
 member, 103 posts
 You know that one guy?
 Yeah, that's me.
Thu 29 Oct 2015
at 23:49
Halloween Moved?
They... they did what? But then it's not... it's just... What?

That's not how holidays work.
Wyrm
 member, 587 posts
Fri 30 Oct 2015
at 00:41
Re: Dear SWEET Doge...
In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 203):

Come to Canada. They have a first of July.
Aquatica1000
 member, 4 posts
Fri 30 Oct 2015
at 03:13
Re: Dear SWEET Doge...
One of my best friends (and GM for a game I play on another site) has been going through utter strudel.  Not only has he flunked classes three semesters in a row, but his family disowned him due to that.  He's currently stuck with no home, no way of contact, and trying to find a job.

And I?  I don't know how to help.  I live too far away to check on him, I don't have any independent funds to use to send help to him (at least, not without getting my mom suspicious), and I can't even contact him to say things will be okay because he doesn't have a guaranteed access to the internet.  I would drop everything and help him if I could, but I can't.  I just feel so helpless...

This message was last edited by a moderator, as it was against the forum rules, at 03:32, Fri 30 Oct 2015.

nuric
 member, 2866 posts
 Love D&D,superhero games
 Not very computer savvy
Fri 30 Oct 2015
at 03:22
Re: Dear SWEET Doge...
In reply to Aquatica1000 (msg # 206):

I totally understand.  I have a lot of friends online who have had a terrible string of bad luck, sometimes even helped by bad decisions.  I try to be supportive and be there for them to vent, but it's tough not being able to help in significant ways.   Granted, listening is significant, I suppose, but if feels less real.
Mrrshann618
 member, 65 posts
Fri 30 Oct 2015
at 03:24
grrr
Sad news - My great aunt died a little while ago. She had no kids of her own so all the nieces and nephews (about 6 of us) were treated like her grand kids. We were all devastated.

Good news - We were all remembered in her will in some form or another. I received a fairly hefty savings bond that had been tucked away for years, past maturity. I go and redeem it, Series HH, no one here knows anything about it, spend months getting it figured out and sent in to be cashed.

Bad news - Find out that the bond was purchased with deferred interest that I now have to pay taxes on, in addition to the bond. In the long run, the bond is worth like $40. Single income two kids, just scraping ends. This "gift" may just ruin everything at tax time. Which is not for several months, so I really have to pinch pennies tighter to ensure that I have enough to pay any possible taxes this year.

Here is to hoping that my 2 year old is over his ear infections.

This message was last edited by the user at 03:26, Fri 30 Oct 2015.

~Jaguar
 member, 3251 posts
 The Hiding Amaranth...
 http://midnightquills.net
Sat 31 Oct 2015
at 00:32
grrr
When your sticky list is off-balance, so you have to find another game to make the columns even again... :P
Evil Empryss
 member, 1377 posts
 Because knowing
 is half the battle!
Sat 31 Oct 2015
at 00:37
grrr
In reply to ~Jaguar (msg # 209):

OMG, YAAAHS!  I hate that!
Evil Empryss
 member, 1382 posts
 Because knowing
 is half the battle!
Fri 27 Nov 2015
at 03:32
Fireball +4
When pulling the turkey out of the oven, drippings splashed over the side and onto the heating element.  A fireball straight out of a Michael Bay movie rolled up the back of the oven and into my face.

I'm not hurt and -- most importantly -- I didn't drop the turkey, but now I need to find a salon open on Black Friday to trim the burnt pieces out of my bangs.  ;_;

This message was last updated by the user at 03:32, Fri 27 Nov 2015.

ShadoPrism
 member, 879 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Fri 27 Nov 2015
at 16:15
Fireball +4
In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 211):

ooo sorry to hear about your unexpected journey in to special Effects. Glad it was not worse.
Tyr Hawk
 member, 120 posts
 You know that one guy?
 Yeah, that's me.
Fri 27 Nov 2015
at 20:44
Thanksgiving? What's That?
So, I know that there are at least a handful of people thinking it (and maybe someone even said it on the other vent thread), but I'm just gonna come right out and say it:

Physical stores that open anytime before normal business hours in Black Friday (and this includes being open on Thanksgiving) are pointless and dumb.

Before I get into my rant, let me just say that I really don't mind certain grocery stores being open Thanksgiving morning, to a certain extent. Before noon, so long as people have volunteered to do it, sure. That's fine. People sometimes have last-minute emergencies or whatever and need something they didn't prepare for. Hospitals, clinics, the police, yeah, all of them have to be open to keep things running smoothly, because accidents and crimes still happen on holidays, believe it or not. But those few things are the only INSERT YOUR FAVORITE FRUIT HEREing things that have an excuse anymore.

I worked in a "Big Box" store once upon a time. I was there on Black Friday from midnight to noon selling my butt off, practically throwing people out the door with armloads of heavily-discounted stuff. I was a man on fire, but despite moving thousands of dollars worth of product by myself, our store lost money. We lost money hand over fist, and that's the situation most of physical stores face. Because you have employees working for an additional 8-14 hours, the products are sometimes being sold for a net loss for the store (gotta make up for it with accessories!), stores have lost money on Black Friday. Maybe the overall company shows a bit of a profit, but that was before the advent of the internet. Now people can just buy the stuff online from the comfort of their own home, and with so many online stores offering Pre-Black Friday deals now, opening your doors out of normal business hours is like shooting yourself in the head.

Even if it weren't for the loss of money though (which, as I said, the companies don't face overall or they would have given it up long ago), now companies are losing face by treading upon Thanksgiving. The moment Halloween is over, suddenly it's Christmas in stores. People (myself included) are getting tired of Thanksgiving (a holiday all about being thankful for and celebrating people rather than mass-marketed gifts or candy, or even religion) being treated like it's dirt. So, those businesses cutting into family time, cutting into the holiday for a profit? They're now getting bad reputations because they're being morons by keeping their doors open during a holiday when they could just wait and sell the same stuff online. I don't even shop on Black Friday if I can help it, and I refuse to shop at any store that opens on Thanksgiving not just on Thanksgiving or Black Friday, but for the rest of the year. Oh, and one more thing...

I like Thanksgiving because it's not about getting things.

I'm selfish and greedy and full of flaws the rest of the year (including Wrath, as you might have guessed), but Thanksgiving is (to me) about sharing a meal with family and just enjoying their company. Yes, we eat too much and, yes, there's a lot left over, but if you threw out the food I'd still have a good time because Thanksgiving isn't even about the food. It's not. I'm sorry. It might be to some people, but Thanksgiving is about being thankful, about being grateful, about cherishing what you have and keeping people sane between Halloween and Christmas.

I'm tempted to go on, to rant for another hour or two about why Thanksgiving is important, and why it's just plain infuriating that there are people who don't recognize that, but I have a plane to catch, and I'm trying to learn to let things go at times (not all the time, but more often than I currently do).

Hope you all had a wonderful Turkey Day!
Evil Empryss
 member, 1383 posts
 Because knowing
 is half the battle!
Fri 27 Nov 2015
at 22:01
Thanksgiving? What's That?
Preach it, Brother Hawk!

I had to do a last minute grocery run Thursday morning (the family joke being that me remembering everything on Thanksgiving is the final seal that starts the Apocolypse) but I remember the days when there wasn't anything but hospitals and the occasional gas station open after noon on Thanksgiving.

Now I do the best I can to protest Thursday Black "Friday" sales by not attending them. As I walked thru Wally World to find chestnuts and molasses, I saw some seriously wicked sales that would start at 6pm, and I admit it tempted my resolve, but I held firm. Thanksgiving is a wonderfully secular holiday free from the religious weight of most of the others. My dollars might not make a great deal of difference, but they matter to me. Family, friends, and food are the only things that matter on that particular day.

Maybe if enough of us do it, more people will be able to give thanks with their families that day.
Wyrm
 member, 598 posts
Fri 27 Nov 2015
at 23:59
Thanksgiving? What's That?
As was the case before. But is a lit easier to slide down the slope then climb up it.


As for me, sometimes I don't mind working during these holidays. But then most of my work centers around serving people, such as at a bank or in a nursing home.
neochivalry
 member, 173 posts
 DM / GM / ST
 Dominion of Storytelling
Sat 28 Nov 2015
at 07:23
Shoddy GMing
Nah, I'm not here to complain about some GM that ticked me off. I'm here to talk about me screwing up, or at least...I think I did.

I've run games for over a decade. On pbp, tabletop, and LARP if you can believe it. I like to style myself as a ST/DM/GM (pick your acronym) that likes to present challenging and interesting scenarios while still making it enjoyable to experience. I avoid the term fun, as some of my games delve into dark subject matters that I doubt a lot of us would consider "fun". In those years I've mostly been able to live up to my self-styled description. Sure my games can be difficult, indeed challenging, but still enjoyable to play; even if they ended in three sessions or thirty. I'm quite happy with that, dare I say proud of that. I like the idea of giving people a good time.

However, I do screw up. No-one's perfect. But, when I screw up it just jabs me, right between the eyes; just stuns me. For all the effort I put in, I sometimes manage to make a player have a genuine bona fide Bad Time. Like, I am taking my dice and never playing this game ever again Bad Time. This has happened about 4 times I can really recall. Possibly more, but I either don't remember or I wasn't told. The majority of players that leave my games either: can't make it for personal reasons, medical reasons, vocational reasons, and so on. Those I can live with. Surprisingly, they even apologize for having to leave. Where I'd rather congratulate them or offer my condolences as the situation really deserves; rather than any apology to me, just some goof telling silly stories for entertainment. No, it is those 4 Bad Times I just cannot stand.

Each time it happens, I question if I should be running games any more. If, perhaps, I'm just too unfair, unpleasant, or irritating to play for. Some players are really nice people, willing to give even most GMs a chance to dig themselves out of a terrible story; confusion on the rules; or just a bad adjudication. In cases where I was the GM in question, I usually ended a game for the players in favor of a better game; or suggested the one with the better idea to run. (I don't mean that in a snide way btw: I mean that they actually HAD the better idea and I felt silly to be running a lesser game in place of a better one.) However, when a lone player leaves due to having a Bad Time...that's a total failure on my part. As a GM of my style: I feel I must be constantly making sure people are actually challenge but also enjoying themselves. If too unchallenged: it's boring and thus cannot be enjoyed; if not enjoyable, then the challenge is way too high. I should be ready to adjust (within reason) as needed. When I fail to do so, I feel I've lost my eye for it.

10 years later, I'm still running. I manage to learn from my mistakes (I think) and move on. Though each and every time, as today is my 4th Bad Time I've caused. Perhaps I should quit being a GM and just stick to being a player. I honestly do not know right now; but, that is the state of where I am. (/ Vent)