facemaker329
 member, 6588 posts
 Gaming for over 30
 years, and counting!
Wed 18 Feb 2015
at 07:42
Re: So much for happy holidays...
Acid reflux.

'Nuff said...
bobbofeet
 member, 211 posts
Wed 18 Feb 2015
at 17:13
Re: So much for happy holidays...
Shingles.  In my 40s.
kneverwinterknight
 member, 122 posts
Wed 18 Feb 2015
at 17:47
Re: So much for happy holidays...

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was moot, at 18:12, Wed 18 Feb 2015.

facemaker329
 member, 6589 posts
 Gaming for over 30
 years, and counting!
Thu 19 Feb 2015
at 09:11
Re: So much for happy holidays...
While I'm here and thinking about it...

I've asked three girls out in the past two weeks.  One, I've seen once in, like, the last decade and a half, the other two, I see relatively often but generally end up conversing with more on Facebook than anywhere else.

The one I haven't seen in ages said no...but explained why (she's working on three shows this semester, AND in school full-time, AND working close to full-time, plus she's got a daughter at home that she likes to spend as much time with as possible).  I can appreciate that...

The other two?  The ones that I am more acquainted with?  Haven't even bothered responding to the invitation (since I converse with them most of the time on Facebook, that's where I asked them out...)  One of them lost her phone a while ago, and I'm not even sure if she still has the same number now that she got the replacement (I would assume so, but who knows?)  And, on top of that, she was also going to help me with the makeup for a show I've got coming up in a couple of weeks...so I asked her if she was still on board for that.  She hasn't answered that, either.  The other one, I sent a follow-up text to, since the first thing I'd asked her out to had come and gone already...the only response I got from the text was a very curt 'Who is this?' (She should have my number, we've called and texted each other in the past when I helped her out with a couple of projects...)  When I answered (because, who knows, she may have lost her phone, as well, and didn't get all her contacts back when she replaced it...that seems to happen to several of my friends on a semi-regular basis), I got a resounding silence in reply.

This would bug me enough, on its own, but it's a reminder of a painful chapter in my past...where I dated a girl for a few weeks, and then seemingly became completely non-existent in her world for a few more weeks (she never returned phone calls or messages, the one time I stopped by on my way to campus she wasn't home--according to her roommates--and the time I bumped into her in town, she looked right past me like I wasn't even there.)  When she DID finally deign to acknowledge the fact that I did exist, it was to show me her new engagement ring...apparently, she dated me just long enough to panic her ex-boyfriend into getting over his fear of commitment and proposing to her, I learned later.

And people wonder why I'm still single...experiences like this do not create much faith in the dating process.
dark_angel
 member, 268 posts
Sun 22 Feb 2015
at 17:32
Re: So much for happy holidays...
Dh worked last night so he would be able to take today off for our son's birthday....he just got a phone call saying they need him to come in....SERIOUSLY!!!!! I am going to freak out if he is late as he worked all night last night to make sure that he wasn't called in but his IDIOT co-worker didn't get the message and now he is gone for a hour to go pick something up for work and I am ready to kill something if he is late for his son's birthday. I have booked a room at the aquatic center and he took the car with the car seats and I don't have my license. We will just get there in time to get everything.
facemaker329
 member, 6600 posts
 Gaming for over 30
 years, and counting!
Thu 5 Mar 2015
at 08:38
Re: So much for happy holidays...
Totally trivial vent, especially given the fact that I caught it this early, but...

I work at a movie theater...I'm the guy that downloads all the digital content onto our servers and programs the showtimes into the automation schedule.  And I hate it when I put in Friday's schedule, copy it for Saturday, and then forget to change to Saturday when I alter everything for the matinee showtimes.

Now I've gotta undo Friday and do Saturday, all over again...
Wyrm
 member, 551 posts
Tue 31 Mar 2015
at 23:12
Re: So much for happy holidays...
Forced awake at 4am, couldn't quite get back to sleep despite over an hour or two of trying. Got up, started routine. Dog escapes. Cat escapes. Have to ignore dog to get cat. Dog takes several victory laps around the block during rush-hour/going to school time. both dog and cat are being obnoxious after being caught and put back inside. Ended getting less pay than I hope to make up for an emergency glasses replacement. Pants are irrevocably damaged, making it my last pair in a country I am just a visitor in. Dinner turned out badly and more stuff making this one of the worst days I've had in a long time.

So for those who know me, if you haven't seen me in the last few days or I have been short and seemingly not acting my norm: know that I am in a really dire mood.

This message was last edited by the user at 23:13, Tue 31 Mar 2015.

borderline_dnd
 member, 331 posts
Tue 31 Mar 2015
at 23:28
Let's Fight
So I initiated with my 7 year old son... "Let's Fight"
He thinks this is so cool. I block his first two punches and I go for a tickle attack. I get him on the floor.

Round two: He steps back and snaps a kick. Which I decided to block with my index finger.

TIME OUT for Dad.
ClydeSebastian
 member, 15 posts
Wed 1 Apr 2015
at 02:03
Re: So much for happy holidays...

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was moot, at 02:23, Wed 01 Apr 2015.

facemaker329
 member, 6637 posts
 Gaming for over 30
 years, and counting!
Thu 23 Apr 2015
at 07:01
I want my brain back...
It's allergy season.  And for some bizarre reason, it's worse this year than I ever remember.  I thought it was, perhaps, an allergy that turned into a cold (and it may be, I don't know for sure), but in the past when that's happened, there were certain allergy symptoms that stopped bothering me once the cold settled in.  Not so, this year.

Between the allergy meds and the rocky sleep I get as a result of having to sleep in odd positions to keep my sinuses from drowning me overnight, my mental focus is drifting.  I remembered a 7:30 meeting tonight at 9:30 (I was asleep on my couch at 7:30).

I'll certainly be happy when whatever's finished pollinating for the spring and things drop back to a manageable level again...
V_V
 member, 474 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Sat 23 May 2015
at 06:27
Re: I want my brain back...
I'm angry, and I don't know why. Bad stuff happens and I deal with that, but that usually doesn't anger me, it scares me, makes me anxious or or annoys me. No, I'm just angry, very often, and it's very deep seeded anger that roots in part from not feeling accomplished. It makes me argumentative and confrontational, and when the few times I avoid confrontation, like on RPOL I receive terse backlash for not arguing and just removing myself from the situation.

Really that's not it though, the culprit is feeling ineffective and overwhelmed, it makes me feel small and insignificant. I see so many people so accomplished and better at in activities I really try hard at, or lackadaisical about things I try to be good at and still comparable to me. It makes me feel lost and disparaged, which makes me feel either sad, and not productive, or angry and aggressive.

Because life doesn't stop when I have a bad day, or for anyone for that matter, I end up being angry to get through the day. It makes me off-putting and offensive, and I can understand that, but that makes me feel sad.

It's gotten to the point though, that I've exhausted a lot of great potential for new friends because I've been an ass. Just too stubborn on that day to say "I'm sorry. The truth is, I made a mistake. I don't know what I'm doing and tried to pretend I did. I spent a lot time trying to make this work, but I need help."

The fact I'm angry makes (most) people not like me, the fact they don't like me makes me worried, and sometimes, if it's someone I've actually got to know and messed it up with, sad. Life goes on and things need to happen, and I try, and often fal, which makes me frustrated...and then angry.

Failing is my worst fear, and so it's a very tangled vicious cycle. It is both a self fulfilling prophecy and a conduit for repeating occurrence One that can only be broken by intensely deliberate thought process. I don't have to be good, I just have to be good enough. People will like me if I'm not so moany and gripey, and if they don't then it's matter of them not liking my actual attitude and not this toxic bravado. If that's the case then it's just better that way. Because it just means we're not compatible, and that's okay, that's not failing.

It's just going to take quite awhile before I can shake that attitude of being defensive in the face of ridicule. It hits at the very nerve that affects me most. I have lofty aspirations, and that is true on RPOL games I GM here too, but I feel like if I aim for the sky, an illusory place I can never quite get, I find myself taking off and going farther than I ever would have had I only intend to get my feet off the ground. I hate falling, and especially when people mock or ridicule the notion of trying to fly, but when I find those rare events where I can, where I do something great in spite of all the limitations and feel like I'm floating, that's what makes me happy. That and sharing people's company.

I think that was one of the few things (and hopefully this doesn't tread again site RoA, it's more anecdotal) that I held onto from days in a warped religious lifestyle. I remember the stories of Jesus being with friends and valuing that over having a clean home, doing superficial work, or maintaining the "Jonah is the ONLY sign!" philosophy. I'd rather go without eating (and have) or miss a day of work than miss a good time with a friend. That makes me happy too. Because nothing can by back that time, and I would (and do) miss that most.

Sharing the company, even over the internet, with kind and fun people is enriching. I need to admit I really need help with things I should know, and ask for forgiveness when I say or do something disrespectful, rather than trying to justify a mistake.

Eh, I already know all this, and it serves very little purpose to post it for everyone to read rather than just write it down and discard it, but it helps in the process of trying to fix a problem. Bein g willing to admit I often feel inept and overwhelmed, and that that makes me angry, I hope will be a step in the direction of not being so. "It doesn't matter what people think. " well, yeah it does, to me at least. They may not be right, but it at least paints a more accurate and objective picture of who I am. Everything is subjective. If it doesn't matter what people think, than I might as well be doing this (whatever) alone.

Anyway, this was a LONG vent, but I needed to make it, and this is the place to do it. And I do feel (somewhat) better. </it now>
Blazeofglory
 member, 10 posts
 Part-Time Game Master
 Badass Normal
Wed 27 May 2015
at 15:20
Personally,
It pisses me off how people never try to get to know the loner kid who sits alone at lunch and eats silently over his laptop. Why not? You can make it JUST LIKE A MOVIE, WHY AREN'T YOU!?!?
[/vent]
HornetCorset
 member, 247 posts
Wed 3 Jun 2015
at 02:57
Re: I want my brain back...

This message was deleted by the user at 02:58, Wed 03 June 2015.

HornetCorset
 member, 249 posts
Wed 17 Jun 2015
at 23:38
Tal'ma'te.
Tak mal arik tiak.
facemaker329
 member, 6654 posts
 Gaming for over 30
 years, and counting!
Thu 18 Jun 2015
at 05:48
Feelings...
Other peoples', that is.  As in, I had to go sit down with my boss and the company HR manager to discuss a sexual harrassment complaint filed over what I thought were rather innocuous statements.

Funny thing about sexual harrassment...it's one of those things where your motives can have no impact whatsoever, it's all about how your words or actions are interpreted.  There's one person at work in front of whom I'll be speaking very little, unless it's directly about the show...
V_V
 member, 475 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Fri 19 Jun 2015
at 18:54
Re: Feelings...
I sometimes sit and think, like today, about mistakes I've made and those I didn't. Mistakes can change your life, but some are necessary to learn your true potential. I sometimes think I made the wrong ones, caught a lot of fish but never really learned how I caught them. I think about friends I had, friends I deeply cared for. Things happened, be it a petty dispute, distance between us, or even just a person disappearing as if they never existed, with no known trace of family or contacts reference just one day after a couple weeks of not talking they don't answer their door. They don't answer their phone calls. I keep trying but then think "well, maybe she's just n vacation", but then someone else I don't know answers the door whom has no idea who I am am or my friend for that matter, and when I try my friend's number it's no longer in service. Just questions, just mystery, and no closure.

I don't often dwell, but like today, I do sometimes. People say "oh you'll make new friends" but that seems to dwindle in truth with the passing years. I have friends I've known for many years or I have awkward acquaintances with people whom I only see once in a blue moon.

I feel happy today, because I made a new friend. Not someone I never met before, but someone I gamed with that today I felt like I got to know as a person and not just coherent text on a screen. I also feel sad, because that connection is so fragile, even more likely to just disappear like soap bubble as if it never existed. If it hadn't happened before I wouldn't be afraid, but it has.

It's just a friend, I know, but that's the best thing I could ask for. It's always been the thing I value most.

It's not going to keep me from enjoying life, but it is going to make me pause, take note of the feelings I have, the relief, the excitement, the curiosity and the enjoyment of their company. I have no expectations except to keep in touch, at least in the imminent future, but I just want to inhale this moment into my mind and remember it on days when I am alone again, when my best friend has died of cancer, when I can't pay the bills and so have no internet, no home, no car and no one who understand my tics. When an infection goes to my eyes and makes me blind. I want to remember days like this, so I can hope for them to come again.

Having such memories is how I survived to this point, and I know that test of willpower is not over. People say be happy for what you have and I am, I really am. Just sharing someone elses' company, having a conversation, even purely written and knowing the bad parts of me are already exposed, makes me feel safe. It's a light I can pull out when darkness comes once more and though the darkness remains it gives me reprieve from it. It gives me peace of mind not having to resist the tics to type something obscene or compulsion to be argumentative.

Anyway, it also makes me scared. That won't stop me from being happy. It's just a lot harder when you lose something/someone you actually cared about and valued their time as unique and therefor priceless. Everything comes to an end, especially good things. That fear helps me enjoy it, like a starving man in a finite room of food. It doesn't have to be the best food I've ever tasted, and certainly not nthe only food, it just has to be food I like but I've never tasted before and never will again, and to a person that seldom has enough to eat.

Anyway. Being happy can hurt after having so much anguish and pretending even to myself I was alright, because I had to take another step, had to be strong for others, had to tell myself I was fine because if I didn't I would just stop moving.

Today is a good day, a really good day, and not just for that reason. Also because I get to talk about my late Uncle with my mother, his sister. I get one last chance to ask questions to the next best person than my Uncle himself. I get to game with RL friends who have stuck with me and each other for years. I get to play in exciting games and share emotions on an imaginary stage.

It's a vent, even though I'm not angry or depressed right now. I'm still near to that and looking back looking back onto the valley I crossed as I crest the summit. I see looming darkness, inevitable trials ahead of me, still I feel the bitter cold that's around me in the current climate. I see the precariousness of celebrating, how that could be what makes me fall. I see that no matter how warm the fire is, it will only make me colder when it goes out and that's why it hurts.
Eggy
 member, 573 posts
Sun 12 Jul 2015
at 07:48
Re: Feelings...
I bought a printer at a store. I opened the box and it's full of spiders hatching. They won't take it back.

I put the printer outside and I'm hoping the spiderlings balloon away. I'll wait a day, then I'll blast it with the air hose.
JxJxA
 member, 126 posts
Sun 26 Jul 2015
at 01:58
Re: Feelings...
Players who join a game, post a few times, and then immediately stop posting while still checking in, slowing down your game in the process. Those players who also ignore your requests to post until you send a PM asking them to do so. Those same players who respond that they didn't feel the need to respond.

It's called a role-playing game because you're acting it out, not just rolling dice. Know your role and play it, for flan's sake.
Wyrm
 member, 570 posts
Tue 28 Jul 2015
at 01:59
Re: Feelings...
Nothing like snapping your ankle to make you realize your floor needs a cleaning.
facemaker329
 member, 6666 posts
 Gaming for over 30
 years, and counting!
Tue 4 Aug 2015
at 06:12
Re: Feelings...
Look...just because you're cheesed off because the manager called you out for screwing around onstage does NOT give you excuse to not only keep screwing around, but actually sabotage parts of the show for some of the other people in it.  Get your ego in line...you aren't THAT talented.
Wyrm
 member, 578 posts
Sat 8 Aug 2015
at 13:24
Re: Feelings...
Too much umbrage involved in replacing a broken shower. Found out that not only was it done once before, but they did a shoddy job. Did not remove the previous tile, installation properly and the drywall needs to be replaced (they didn't even anchor the shower head pipe). In order to even do a proper job, they have to tear up the kitchen to get to it. So...more shoddy job (not to mention they never bothered to measure the Height for clearance before ordering the new shower.

plus: seriously dog, you can't come in while they're working. Trust me, they are not there for you to befriend.

This message was last edited by the user at 10:22, Thu 13 Aug 2015.

PsychoJester
 member, 461 posts
Sat 8 Aug 2015
at 17:17
Re: Feelings...

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was against the ToU, at 17:26, Sat 08 Aug 2015.

OceanLake
 member, 925 posts
Thu 1 Oct 2015
at 23:41
Re: Feelings...
I live 70 miles from Roseburg, Oregon: 10 people dead and at lest seven injured in another mass shooting. I'm saddened, angry, appalled, and frustrated.

Discussion of this and similar matters belongs in a "game" discussion board, not in Community Chat.

This message was last edited by the user at 05:37, Fri 02 Oct 2015.

Silverlock
 member, 95 posts
Sun 4 Oct 2015
at 22:06
Re: A Bad Attack of RL
I have work that's managed by the fiends of Hades; I have hobbies I have had to
abandon due to the health issues of old age, and now it looks like I'm in a
further downward spiral.  So I shall take a while to ponder my next steps, and I have to wonder if my cane will take me there.  Cheery bye.
Isida KepTukari
 member, 89 posts
 Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Tue 6 Oct 2015
at 14:40
Just show me the money...
Could someone please just buy my house?  We have our new one picked out, our offer accepted, half our stuff packed, now we just need someone to buy our house so we can finance.  We've got overseas house guests coming in November, and I dread trying to put them up in my current home, with only one bathroom, for two weeks, not with me still working night shift and us still trying to keep our house in show condition for house-sellings.

Please.  Someone?  :(