'scuse me while I switch on Sarcasm mode for a moment...

I just LOVE it when people get their advance checks returned to them so that they get sent to me a week late.  It's especially enjoyable when they have a project with a fairly tight deadline and the advance is to cover supplies I need to get for their project.  It's even better when my landlord takes my rent check to the bank earlier than usual, so my own personal finances are in such a state that I can't but most of the supplies I need.

It's so conducive to making my holiday season start off in a peaceful, enjoyable manner...

</sarcasm>

They didn't even tell me about the check being delayed.  I had to contact the artistic director to ask if the check had been sent, because I still hadn't seen it...she had to contact the accounting people, who said that they HAD sent the check, but it had been returned, so they were sending it again.  No explanation about why it was returned (which doesn't exactly inspire confidence that it won't get returned AGAIN and sent out yet another week later).  In the meantime, I'm racking up overdraft fees because my landlord jumped the gun (I mean, he IS at his discretion as to when he takes the check to the bank...but considering that he rarely does it before the middle of the month, and he didn't even get last month's check to the bank until the start of this month, I had kind of gambled that he'd follow that pattern...and I lost).

This isn't leaving me in the best state of mind to start the holiday season...

Civ 6 still hasn't been fixed for my roommate. So she can't play the game I bought her for  July 2022. Instead she's playing Planet Zoo, but she doesn't have as much fun with it, and wants to watch me play video games more than play herself. She likes it, so it's fine. It just makes me feel bad that she can't play what she wants to. At least she has a nice T.V. to watch Fallout 4 cast on.

It is literally the one, the only, possession that I have after our fire in 2018 that was bought with insurance money. I love the T.V., so I'm glad she can watch it while I play on my PC.

---

Biggest vent...I may be quitting RPoL...entirely. A lot is stacking up, and I don't know how to juggle it all. I don't want to, but I'm having trouble on the old site, and if the new site gives me more trouble that may be the nail in the coffin before burial of my games.

When I say I have frequent posters I mean I have people who post daily,no updates, no posts and than try to join another of my games, no. thank you RPOL for the block feature.

I've discovered recently (the past few days) that I'm really not doing any better than I was before I took my (entirely too short) break.   So more unhappily than usual, I've dropped out of the few games that I decided to join as well as gone ahead and closed out the one game that I was running.

And...my depression has been kicking my butt more and more lately.   I'm hoping that it'll get better soonish.....

This message was deleted by the user at 09:09, Fri 15 Mar.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was against the forum rules, at 01:37, Wed 03 July.

slightly infuriating to RTJ a game, get denied, blocked by the GM, and then watch the same GM constantly bump their games in requesting players

ive been trying to keep it to myself but still slightly infuriating

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was moot, at 18:19, Tue 02 July.

I gave quite a bit of thought to not putting this down, but in the end decided that I really should.

I'm uncertain about my state of mind in general: as I've mentioned before I'm both bipolar (Bipolar Depression specifically) and have a form of autism called Asperger's Syndrome.   I had a rather bad episode a month or three back, which manifested here by my quitting out of everything and more or less crawling under a rock for a few days.

I've got both game ideas I want to run and character ideas that I'd like to play, but I don't feel that I'm in a good place to be GMing.   I don't want to give up the hobby and I'm certain that doing so would transform me into a complete hermit...also something I don't want.   So, I'm ultimately writing this to not only record my current state but also let others know that I'm still hanging in there, no matter how bad it seems atm.

This is kind of a time-delay thing (and so has nothing to do with any games I'm in now) but:

I don't understand why people would join a campaign based on an IP (like a TV show or movie or book series or what-have-you), and then go out of their way not to engage with the material.

I don't mean non-posting. Non-posting (or the thing where you join a new game because you want an escape from your responsibilities, but then can't play the game because of those responsibilities) is a problem, but we all know that and we all deal with that.

I mean, when someone decided to run a Song of Fire and Ice campaign, and everyone decided to play it like a dating sim so now it's The CW Presents: Game of Thrones (I mean, even with PvP given the green light, everyone decided that it was time for Medieval High School Clique Simulator up in there- even though our the premise was that our characters' House was at war, and losing!)

I mean, running something set in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel universe, and deciding it's Hangaround Club instead of a game where the characters do something (to the point of telling players who wanted an action-oriented plotline to write it themselves as "super freeform").

I mean having a Star Wars campaign where we just moped a lot.

I mean people deciding their pre-war Fallout character was pretty much them, from 2024, with no accommodations to the setting.

I mean running an Arthurian campaign that was supposed to 'feel authentic', and then (mid-game!) moving Camelot from any of the general ideas of where fictional Camelot or historical Camlann/Camulodunum was to the town where the GM's new girlfriend lives.

 (That last one burned because when we all decided where our characters lived in relation to the Capital (ie, Camelot), we were urged to pick actual places using Pendragon materials... but when Girlfriendapolis was the new capital, that didn't get fixed. So, someone who decided "I'm from a day's ride outside the Castle" isn't a days ride from the Castle, they're halfway across England. With GM enforcement. I played a Saxon opponent, the "new capital" was smack in my previous territory. I am reasonably sure the girlfriend neither knew or cared that he'd moved his campaign's capital to Stacygrad or whatever, too.)


Again, if you're in a campaign with me now: I am thinking of this because we're doing good.
This message was last edited by the user at 04:07, Tue 16 July.

I'm pretty much quitting RPoL for the foreseeable future. It takes me four hours to geta post out, and that was just too long. Some posts were easier. I just don't have the finesse or pbp positive feedback to have players engage when I'm online (which was about thrice a week) after I'd have a week to two months of RL drama. The sadness is most acute that I was getting my RL affairs in order. In hindsight, I opened my game three to five months early on one, and eight months early on the other. I figured there would be more player to player discussion out of game, and more solo to begin in game. That was backwards. I accept that, but the damage is done.

My Parkinsonism has worsened too. So much I drop a piece of flatware almost every day. I'll have a fork and just drop it. I also type very badly. I'll edit typos, and then when I do they get worse. Some words happen to be harder than others to type. I think because I hunt and peck at 40 wpm, and slowing down makes me shakier. I managed to fix this post though. Gosinn's luck I'd say.

Anyway...I'm more passive on RPoL, if at all. I've found the time I was devoting to game really came back to help in other much needed ways.

There was a time, before being homeless, I had an abundance of time. I thought I still had that...not nearly as much as I thought. Everything takes longer than it did ten years ago.

OCD sucks....sometimes, the brain just won't let go of an idea.

Nobody appreciated my Dungeons and Dragons ideas! I madea system so that all of the player classes go up to level 30, made a Sharpshooter class that focuses on bows and crossbows(and is a little bit too op...), made a Tank class(1d20 hp, -10 speed. it is just for being on the front lines...), made a Archmage class(ok, i admit it. this was a stupid idea. its too op being able to access every speel in the players handbook... as well as being able to have 3 9th level spell slots at 20th level...) but still! i try to implement it into games that i MYSELF GM, and then people just quit. its making me depressed... ( ￣ □  ￣ ; )

This message was deleted by the user at 13:47, Mon 05 Aug.

*sigh*

My darling kindergartener, that loves their class very very much, is being moved to a new class. Yes, I understand, the classes were too big, and they needed to hire some more teachers (and finally did), but why does it have to be -MY- kid that gets moved away from a teacher they adore?

The world won't end. Life will go on. They'll probably get over it.

But it still stinks.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was moot, at 05:34, Sat 31 Aug.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was moot, at 05:35, Sat 31 Aug.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was moot, at 05:36, Sat 31 Aug.

I've come to the conclusion that it's time for me to give up RPGs as a hobby.    While I've been stuck in a rut for a while, it's only recently that I've realized that I've become burnt-out about a number of things, not just this.

So, for however long (it might be years); I'm leaving RPOL with no plans on returning in the immediate future.   Thank you to everyone who I've come to know and everyone who's suffered through my various game/character ideas.    I'm just...going to leave everything alone.

Take care everyone.
This message was last edited by the user at 17:57, Mon 23 Sept.

I've leaving RPoL with a whimper, not a scream. When I return I won't be the same person that left.  My career has taken a backseat to my health, which is also a passenger to my finances. Which is driven by another eviction notice. Despite my best efforts, I can't make up my SSDI and my roommate's part time income with selling things I have. Most of it big, and no one wants it. At least not to come to my area to get it.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was moot, at 18:36, Sat 12 Oct.

Some miscreants emptied miracle whip containers all over the hallway; stairs, carpet, and walls. It's been two days and nothing is being done about it. I'm going to call the housing department! The odor makes me want to throw up. One of my roommate's is anosmic, but still feels queasy, as she can taste it in the air. My other roommate moved in recently, but is none to happy with the timing of this disgusting act under veil of prank. So has taken a slight extension on her first month's rent.
This message was last edited by the user at 22:22, Sat 02 Nov.

You know what's splintered my wand here this past year?  Here's a two-part story, titled, SCARY WIZARD and Why AI GMs Are Beginning to Look Like More and More of 'A Good Idea' to Them.



Part I - Looking for Reading Comprehension and Boundaries: I've been looking for a game using the WarCraft d20 rules since 2006, and let's look at the results that actually panned out...
-GM flakes.
-GM flakes.
-Everyone loses interest because they're waiting on one player and the GM won't just NPC them or replace them after a week/month.
...this is to say nothing of recruitments and requests that went ✨nowhere✨.  I put up a request recently, and someone started blithering over me without really understanding or engaging in the material, my inbox got flooded with people who don't seem to be able to understand what "I don't like the fan conversions." means, and one guy got really passive-aggressive in response to a request -- made somewhere specifically for requests.  While I might seem like I'm asking the world, what I'm basically asking for is a one-shot using pre-published materials, and not an epic yarn -- far less than what I was antsing for when the line was still being supported, and something conciliatory at best.
Meanwhile, someone with an objectively creepy and oddly specific pitch they've been asking for for years keeps getting picked up, only to drop out of a game the minute he realizes his Main Character isn't going to be front-and-center in the game -- rinse and repeat with one hand on the keyboard and one below the desktop.


Part II - I Hope You're Not Married: I got into a game recently, I was putting together a character sheet, and I put in a "Meowdy, purrdners!" with the other players.  Real Life happens, and I'm unable to post for a few days.  Shouldn't be too much of an issue, we were putting together character sheets and rapping with each other, and the game isn't even a week old.  Right?
...once everything's smoothed over in real life, I come back to the game, only to find that the DM has not only removed me from the game with no prior communication, they have also replaced me and told everyone that I dropped.  I'm like, "Uhh, what?".  If I'd been AWOL for like... two weeks to a month, or in violation of a rule clearly stated, cool.  My bad.  Like, there wasn't jack in the game rules about that kind of a thing -- in fact, the only rule even close to that was, "I'm always right.", which... listen, GMs, when I see that, that's a huge red flag and I usually take that as a sign that you're a horse's behind.
I PM the DM, telling them what happened that I was not able to post, asking to be let back in.  They give me this hand-wringer of a response to the effect of, "I had people ghost in the past. Sorry if it's harsh or abrupt, also, I removed and replaced you.   :3 ".  So, I respond with, "Let me rephrase what you just said, and add additional context as to why you, as a person, suck.", before I block them.
In spite of how low the bar was in this particular case I was not the better person, I don't wager, though I've dealt with enough ineptitude in my time that I don't give much of a dead moose's last colonic push.


Part III - Mod Coddle: Oh, here's another one -- so, someone was pushing back against valid concerns over allowed materials in a game.  GM whined that they might close up shop and leab 4eber, which is totally healthy behavior and not at all whiny, manipulative, and petulant, and I went, "You're restricting some perfectly valid things and artificially limiting people; this puts me off, and it's going to put off more people than it attracts.  Ball's in your court, just bear this in mind?".  Post got deleted, GM made a victim post in response to my (deleted) post, and I reported this behavior to Moderation because it's off-putting and controlling.
...Moderation completely ignored WHY I made the report, and belched something conciliatory to the GM.  This isn't on RPoL, it's somewhere else; still, that's some Broken Stair [REDACTED] on both their parts, and makes me really question the reading comprehension and social acumen of both parties involved.  I hope to god that neither of them are in Human Resources, because holy [REDACTED], man.



In any case, block buttons exist for a reason, even if their functionality on most places is concilliatory at best.  And, I, personally, can not wait for AI Game Masters, because in spite of good Game Masters outweighing bad ones three-to-one in my experience, I have had it with bad ones and would rather play under a robot than deal with one more person whose parents didn't teach them not to act like the bratty little girl from Leave it to Beaver.
This message was last edited by the user at 07:33, Tue 03 Dec.

APA format ruined my writing. RPOL might be able to bring it back.