Mountain Cedar (it's actually Ash Juniper) is the tree of the Devil and should be eradicated from the planet.  We are at the height of cedar pollen season here and I'm ready to claw my eyes out.  Almost couldn't drive to work today because they were watering and stinging so bad.  It looks like smoke as it blows off the trees in waves.

Thank God for Zyrtec.

$&@#+! cedar
This message was last edited by the user at 04:00, Wed 08 Jan 2020.

Good in some ways; no consolation for those who are allergic to the pollen.

Cyber dvd player locks you out if you don't update to their latest Expensive product. I just got a dvd I wanted to see and the blasted player won't work (actually went in to Task Manager and found it was Suspended from working). I got this computer compatible DVD player and they want to update it every year for more money than I payed for the actual player. The player locks you out if you Don't update it, which means I can't watch any of my DVDs because I don't have the money to go out and get another player. (Don't own a tv anymore, and the only other dvd player I have is an older model that is not compatible with the modern screens.)
I removed this crabapple from my computer but am so frustrated cause I waited a year for the price to drop so I could even get the dvd (its a direct to dvd movie). So SO P.O.ed.

VLC media player is widely used and well supported. Free though I donated because their product is awesome.

Found one on the Microsoft app store called Free Player - seems to work with any dvd type movie. So far so good. Got to watch my movie - and the player is free.

I'd rather have used the other thread. It probably would have been better fitting. However, I will put this here instead.

Thank you for those that were helpful caring, and kind.

Thank you those that tried to make as better person, and help me hlep myself.

To those that never liked me, I wish I knew why...specifically, but there are yet so many...the harpy cove has won. Amidst my misery, I have not forgotten you. I've spent more time thinking what, specifically I did that set you on edge to dislike me, and how better I could have handled that moment that drove you spite me. I was not worth the spite, but I want you to know you were worth the consideration. As I write before going home, truly home. Somewhere I've been hoping to go...every day of my life...I just hope you'll give up that spite. I understand the hatchet cannot be buried alone...so I will gladly take it. I'm sorry. Not for what I did, for I cannot be sorry, at least sincerely, without knowing at what point I violated your feelings, or caused you to envenom your interraction with me. I will, however, say, you won. Acired...you won. I hope you feel better, that I freely admit...as you promised...you delivered. It matter not, RPoL was always a window out of my cell. My home...I won't need one.

Good lucm to Tom. Good Luck to Krogan or Kerrigan the red. You I will dare name as IO have, so you know you made the leaps and bounds that carried me a long stretch of this journey. I regre to realize, I would rather be comfortably at home and ill, than waiting for treatment under duress.

Please consider those few of you, the literally five that took the time to really look past ll my shortcomings, time and time again, and endure...for me...and for you too. I won't break the ToA even wqhen it has no pragmatic consequence, I respect jase and almost all the mods far too mucu. Otherwise I would name names. I hope, though you will know who you are. To you, I am truly sorry, I cannot thank you, nor did I enough.

For those countles that rmailed me, yopu kept me going. For those that GMed for me...thank you for the brief but genuine positivity. Finally, to those that...everyone...you was on this leg of the journey. I hopr your journey home is easier, and stops at better ports. I'm just glad I'm almost home. Thank you second most to jae, for being the red hen, for being considerate and ethical and generous and having this place I could go. You have me a window. Finally, most of all, thank you J. I doubt Anne will see this, I think she's forgotten her password, but if she does, you can talk to her yourself. Here's where I get off. Goodbye. I wish there was more, and certainly less, but Goodbye.
This message was last edited by the user at 20:49, Wed 22 Jan 2020.

I for one am sad to hear your leaving us V_V, I have enjoyed reading your post and seeing you around the forums. I hope your journey is peaceful at the least.

This is a sad thing to hear, V_V. Though I have not often had much to contribute, I have greatly empathized with your posts over the years. I wish you a peaceful trip home and hope you find happiness there. I wish we could keep you longer.

I'm saddened to hear you're leaving, V_V. I enjoyed seeing you around. Thank you for the turkey sandwich recipe you shared with me well over a year ago. I'll be sure to give a toast to you every time I have one. I hope your trip home is peaceful and serene; it's the least you deserve.

This sounds kind of more final than leaving RPoL, and makes me deeply worried and a bit upset.

I don't know you, mate, but remember that if you die, others get to define you on that tombstone. Hoboing across a continent, meeting a wild coyote, helping people, finding love like a bright stone in a stream, writing a novel, eating ice cream, standing in front of a tank because no-one else will...those are things alive people do. Me, I refuse to die before [indicates certain dictators], because damsons, I mean to see a world without them. Hope you read this.

First off.  I had an episode big time. I remember doing it, but just I didn't really have much coherency. There's and acronym HALT. Well I was all four. Hungry, I needed food, and my friend hadn't gotten any.
Angry, I get the brakes replaced on the car $700 give her gift card to the grocery, let her get to work in my car, and she doesn't buy groceries. It's icy, we just got home from a HORRIBLE doctor's appointmen, I'm tired. We fight, I try to step out, it gets melodramatic. I just disconnect from her, and post that above, trying to appeal to some other way of connecting. I wanted also to just get away, remove myself. In the post is some truth, some suspicion, a lot of genuine appreciation of people's patience and outpouring of care. Wanting to go home, be in place I can't be kicked out of, that has food, that I can relax in, invite friends over.

I had just gotten home from that HORRIBLE doctor's appointment. I was tired from it and the night before. I was lonely, as my best friend is just making things worse.

Then there was the issue of an RPoL troll and her harpy cove. They've harassed me for about eight years. Suffice to say they picked a bad time to get into with me.

I just felt like, somehow if I wished hard enough, like watching movie that ends badly even though you don't want it to, that I could just go home.

I also know I need to disconnect from most people Online. It's too much. I get overwhelmed. So I get irritable. So people see this pattern. I felt like just escaping to a safe place. I wanted to say goodbye. I shouldn't have, and when I woke up I've tried to reconcile with this bad choice.

Don't go on Social media or get on the phone HALT. I don't...but I do...here.

I don;t get most of your idea tibiotarsus. I've been literal hobo. I can barely walk to the grocery store, hence the need to go to a doctor. Coyotes alkso live literally less than half mile from my fornt apartment door. They're right near the apartment complex. They had to issue signs to idiots that said "don't feed the coyotes" that's a horrible way a die...and even worse to live. I avoid their space, it was there';s first. Love, yeah, that;s been my solace. Standing up for people. Yeah, I know someone who left China who was at the  tiananman square campus. I don;t know much, but I know what little next to know one else does, unless they were there. I'd stood up to thugs. Police racism and injustice. A guy in gamestop pulling out knife ona girl over a videogame not being bought. Just yeatserday I gave my Christmas present to guy who had sign, in the sleet and snow that said "Anything would be make my New Year Better" I don;t live to help, but I help where when and how I can. You don't knoe me though. So I'll suffice you and I have different ways of expressing things. I don't get you, and I sense you don't get me. Which I'm fine with.

Aguy777 Ha! Yeah, I've been eating those for like three months straight, along with hotdogs. It's horrible for my weight though. I gained so much weifght trying to fatten my wallet. Yeah, that was failed thread I made, but I'm glad you cared to remember the recipe. MAke sure the red onion is cut and used soon. After making it a severla dozen times, the onion goes bad quick. Unrefrigerated or in the fridge. I love that red onion though, so but it doesn't keep long. I need to find DIY tips that are credible, there's some I dubious of, and some have been shown to be downright dangerous. But I'll eventually have the courage and time to just find a way to expand shelf life, or whatever once cut. I even tried partially peaaling it. That was actually worse. O_o. I still enjoy that sandwich though. I need to go the gorcery and get that. So I'll be brief.

@Kessa. That's sweet. Well, I....all I can say is that I appreciate and am humbled you found identifaction with my posts. You contributed here, and by the looks of it, just about as much as I have given I;ve been here with I think 2001-ish and then 2004 after a break. My post count is miniscule. I aspire to catch up with BBR's record....eight years ago...-_- You contributed to me feeling welcome. If your';re on here, you almost definitely game. ;D So maybe we should game sometime, or just chat, or focus on good things, and try to find ways to get back to them and avoid the bad. If you're resonating with my posts it's gotta be tougher for you than me.
I gotta get past letting bad influence keep getting my attention. It poisons my potential to have friends. It makes me bitter. If someone remembers a trukey sandwish around my Thanksgiving alone, then that's awesome! IF someone feel like  they wish I could I stay, I'll make an effort., IF someone wants to me to read their post, the least I can is read it, and write the best reply I can given my OCD will make that a many hour long process.

ShadoPrism You've been a good adversary and ally. I felt like your opinions helped define mine, whether I agreed or not, it changed my opinion, sometimes father away, and sometimes closer. I've also seen you ihn games, and we've been good. I've also seen you in games I made it worse for everyone. I appreciate the evenness. It's like my friend Tom. Tom and Krogan actually. Tom is like this guy who I don't know why, but everytime I (for years at least over decade! actually...) would joijnh my D&D games. Fail and fgail as they did. I really did a number on him, and must have titred his pateience, but he's such a gerenous and kind and mostly consistent guy. Just, like that person who says he'll pick you up at 4:00 Pm and it starts raining at 4 PM, so he arrived like five minute early. Or there's someone else who needs a ride, and so he calls you and says "Hey I'll be late" and means like five minutes late. I've tried to defend him, against other players who think he may be selfish, because I know Tomn, well enough to know when something being aid is far from the truth. He's just like "don't worry about it. I was going to post, but I'll just let it be" So chill, yet so considerate. I really should...try to get in touch with him (is that okay to say [mods]?) I miss him. And Krogan. Another great friend I've had. He's heard me just, at my worst. IT's his honesty, even if harsh, it was always consideerate; that helps me overcome, strive to just keep trying. I feel most like I...wasn't doing right by doing what I did.

Now that that's said. I will stop. Restrict my access to forums. And not get on here, or any part of this site HALT. I need to check on my friend Anne, she's been asleep for like...god...like fifteen hours!

I'm really sorry. We're so similar in terms of things you've described I just keep trying to help with reminders of stuff that keeps me alive and apparently offending you/really not helping. I understand now that you can't read me and/or I feel threatening or mean (sarcastic? flippant?) because of that. Please know it's not deliberate, that I know it's OK not to like/trust/want to hear from every internet random who crosses one's path, and that I will remember to let you be if we encounter each other in future. I really didn't mean to make things awkward and socially worse and I'm truly sorry for it. [apology bow] Probably best I stay off this thread in general, TBH.

I wish I could remember what games we were in together V_V. I have had a few to many mini-strokes (TAI) though and my long term memory is pretty shot. But thanks for the feed back, glad I am in balance somewhere at least.
I pretty much just do the forums here anymore. Mostly it seems to be this one for some reason.

I vaguely recall a couple games I managed to shoot up pretty badly. One VTM game and one Naruto game, both long ended. Not even sure which site they were on anymore either, I started on PBW then moved here.
Rpol is my homepage, just to give you all some idea how often I come and see if anyone posted anything interesting. Rambling, I know. So I will stop for now.

Hope things get better for you V_V.

I'm glad to hear that the morning found you feeling much better and things were not quite so bad as they seemed last night. My time and attention to RPoL tends to be sporadic based on life events, but yes, I've been around a while now, like you. It's always hardest to find the good, but without it, we wouldn't feel the bad so pointedly. So, somewhere, there must be good things happening if we can still tell the difference. I only have a few pointed games I play on RPoL, but if we should find ourselves in one, I would be happy for it. ^_^

I'm glad to hear you're doing better today than you were yesterday, V_V. As for the sandwich, I couldn't agree more with the red onion. It always goes bad before I can use it all. Let me know if you find a way to make it last longer (other than eating it all before it goes bad, of course!).

@ShadowPrism: Mini-strokes? Take care of yourself! I like seeing you around here.

Having only one onion eater in my house, I've had good luck with sealing up the onion (once peeled and cut into) in a baggie, with as much air squeezed out as possible and being sure that the baggie is tight to the cut side, and then putting that into another container with an airtight lid, either glass or sturdy plastic. Then it goes into the fridge. That usually manages to keep it good enough to use almost all of it up, if not all. If it changes the taste noticeably, the onion eater in the house has never complained.
This message was last edited by the user at 11:33, Fri 24 Jan 2020.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was against the forum rules, at 08:40, Sat 25 Jan 2020.

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was against the forum rules, at 09:36, Sat 25 Jan 2020.

This message was deleted by the user at 22:46, Thu 30 Jan 2020.

Hubby and I took some time off for our anniversary week.  Long story short, at one point during the week Hubby wanted to travel to a distant mall to shop for clothes.  Originally he wanted to go to one nearly nine hours away because it also had a chain restaurant he adores that isn't in our area, but I put my foot down on that.  So he insisted on going to one two-plus hours away for a "fun couple's shopping trip".

Guys, it's an outlet mall, near Chicago, in February.  It was dangerously cold that day, and I nearly froze my face off.  Not to mention the fact that I am a big, big woman, so there is exactly one store there I can go to where I can buy things off the rack. Shopping for clothing, for me, is generally an unhappy, depressing experience that I like to avoid unless I am in a very particular frame of mind.  Hubby is on the more "normal" end of the size spectrum, and can just go into any men's clothing store, find things in his size, never have to use the fitting room, and walk out with exactly what he wants within ten minutes.

I really didn't want to travel nearly a five-hour round trip, plus shopping time, to be frozen, depressed, and resentful.  He said that he "hadn't gotten new shirts in a year."  I'm not stopping him from buying shirts.  He is more than welcome to buy shirts at any time.

Next time he can shop on his own, as I will be home relaxing instead of feeling resentful towards the entire women's fashion industry and Hubby being oblivious.

In reply to Isida KepTukari (msg # 1524):

Maybe you should try making suggestions for what he should buy?  Totally impractical ones of course, because you don't want it to backfire into him wanting you to always do his shopping.

I am, I believe, going to try for the extremely direct approach of: "This is the precise opposite of fun for me. Finding one mildly interesting item in one store for me, and four shirts in a store for you, is not fun, is not cost-effective, and to me is a huge waste of time when it comes with a five-hour round trip. I will be staying home on future excursions of this nature."

I never have to worry about his clothing; he chooses about the same four colors in two different designs, always has.  I don't worry about setting him loose in a mall, I just don't want to be drug along on a ridiculously long trip for something he could get locally.

IMOs

1. Something else is going on in hubby's mind. The trip is a substitute for something.

2. There's something to be said for openness and honesty in a marriage.

It rather sounds like he enjoys this and wants to include you as part of quality time together, particularly since it's such a time intensive trip to either place and not taking you might seem neglectful to him. Which is a nice idea, except that rather than a trade off between what movie to watch, or coffee to buy, this isn't just a minor thing to sigh off for you, but really truly miserable. Which really quite defeats the purpose of quality time (making people feel closer) and actually results in the exact opposite. I do think the direct approach is best. He might feel let down his idea was not well received, but at least he will understand it's not a rejection of him... just this particular miserable thing. And perhaps together you can find something more enjoyable to do with the rest of your time off together you both will enjoy.

We did several other fun things together during our anniversary week, just that shopping trip was the bummer.  I think Hubby might be conflating the shopping with some fun we had on a more elaborate destination vacation we took a few years back; we also did some shopping on the way there and back, and it was nice because it broke up a lengthy car drive and made for fun travel, but the main part of the vacation was a theme park (where we had a blast).  We're going on an expensive trip next winter, so this last week was just mostly small, local activities.  This was, I think, his idea of a day trip, but it was... not well-timed and not well-discussed.