My week only gets better... After leaving the gym where I had just gone for a relaxing session on the massage bed, I was rear-ended at a stoplight.  My tow hitch made a lovely hole in the guy's bumper, leaving me with no damage to my car and a return of the tension in my shoulder.

Fruit my life right now.

So we've been tagged by El Nino this week... and today it finally really unloaded in my area....

...And I live on the other side of the flooded wash.

The cats will be annoyed if I don't make it home tonight. If the dogs don't get out tonight... it's going to be ugly when I do make it home. :( And I'm going to have some really cranky horses if they don't get dinner.

And, of course, I can't go back to work tomorrow with the critters waiting on me.

Last time this happened, I couldn't get home 'til noon the next day; I followed the tractors/road graders in. ;/

Minor gripe: All my white hair fell out.

Awhile back I got a pretty good thump to the face. After the black eye and cut healed up, the eyelashes and eyebrow and hair in that spot grew in white. All in a line. I was like, "Ooh! I'm so gonna be a silver fox." Alas, it wasn't meant to be. The last of them fell out just now.

In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 305):

Damn, I'm pretty sure they have to give you notice of your termination and since this is covered under FMLA in the U.S. if you live here *not sure where you live* you could sue them for wrongful termination.

Does that apply to Volunteers?

I don't know but it's worth a look into, contact a lawyer about it I guess?

If your being payed for your services, then I think it counts.

Since I'm disabled and can't have a "job" without losing my benefits, I'm technically a volunteer, therefore I'm not technically being "fired", per se, even if what I was doing was business manager-level work (when I wasn't hurting too much to work, that is). Also, getting FMLA requires jumping thru certain hoops, most of which again don't apply since I'm not an employee.

I'm mostly outraged at the underhanded way I am being let go: people afraid that I would steal their jobs told the boss I was planning on stealing her clients and employees from her. Uhm, first off, my words were "she's got people ready to quit and I'd take them in in a heartbeat".  That said, Hubby isn't going to be starting his own business for almost a year yet, there are plenty of clients that her business is turning away because she doesn't have the staff to take them on, and if she treated her staff with respect and paid them in accordance with state and federal laws (and sound business practices) then she wouldn't have employees on the verge of quitting. If they felt valued then there wouldn't be anything I could do to "steal them away"; they're human beings, not toys in a box.

But I will happily take them in once the business starts and treat them properly.

Well I wish you the best of luck, I can understand the irritation there.

In reply to Tyr Hawk (msg # 298):

Had to balance advice received here vs. word from Beloved Spouse; she would like to remain friends with the wife, though she freely admits that the wife has 'living in her own little fantasy world' issues.  So we came in last Monday, said our hellos, chatted a bit, and then made our pitch once the conversation turned from the usual 'how was your week'.  Didn't go very well, then Spouse delivered her verdict on the ride home as reported.  Pity is, we are at the age when we are often attending funerals for friends and acquaintances, so dismissing friendships is not to be taken lightly.   We rarely see both of them outside of gaming night, though the wives are along together more often.

But then Spouse decided I was incompetent in such social matters (true enough) and decided to talk to the wife when they were out doing girl stuff.  Turned out this was the smarter move.  Theoretically we are to be playing again this Monday and it will be something other than the interminable fetch quest, as both the women will be playing.  Wise men should fear them so I will sit back and watch from a safe distance; worst case is that we won't be back again, at least to game, but hope remains.

That is good to hear. Last RL game group I was in, talking to the GM didn't help. Then again... I was the Ragabash, in spirit and character, so who cared what I though? What can I expect from a group that treated me almost as an outsider?

Ended up leaving the group and I talk to random people in it a few times a year now. So good luck!

Poo Sundae. I can't explain my plight very eloquently or succinctly. So Poo Sundae, I say. Poo Sundae!

This vent has probably been a long time coming, but I'm in a particular mood today and I just got a bit of bad news that tipped me over the edge.

Over the last few... decades, I suppose, I've been taking on projects, we'll call them. Lots of projects. Big ones, small ones, and everything inbetween because I like to think of myself as a good guy. How does taking on projects make me a good guy? Because, generally speaking, I take on projects that try to help people and make their lives easier. I tutor for cheap or free if ever asked (usually when I'm paid it's because the person won't take no for an answer). I created, and am still working on, a (currently) 27 page spreadsheet to make character generation and management easier in one of my favorite systems (yes, 27 pages actually makes it easier than the usual methods). I'm compiling a pdf of houserules for the same system and, because I care, I'm actually making it look like a real rulebook. I review, give feedback, edit, and explain both the what and the why for all of it whenever I give it. I critique artwork for artists to help them improve their style (and I'm decently good at it too, if only because I grew up surrounded by artists of every creed and color). I write novels and stories and songs to entertain and to pay tribute to people. I'm available 24/7 by phone or text if anyone in my family or very small circle of friends needs anything, and I check all the websites I frequent multiple times a day, along with my email and Skype, so that I'm there when I'm needed. I read every. single. message that's sent to me, in any format, unless it's from a corporation or is obvious spam.

I could go on, but I think you get the idea: I'm a martyr.

Yes, I know. Haha. Tyr the Martyr. Way to be original, guy, but it's true. I sacrifice, and will sacrifice, whatever I am to help other people and to make their lives easier. I ask for very little in return, and with the way my life has gone, I expect even less. I've been through two house fires (one of which burned 60% of my body when I was two years old, and both before age 10), a tornado (in the middle of a mountain valley, which hit only my little dirt road, and only really damaged my house). It took over 60 surgeries to get me to nearly full mobility, and I still can't look straight ahead without extending my neck. I lost my birthmom to one of those fires, didn't know my birthdad until I was 14, and my total friend count (not Facebook, not chums or people I hang out with, but friends) has never been higher than 5, and even then it's been debatable as to whether or not they were really friends based on what happened. But that's all just life, that's just the background stuff that makes it so difficult when the work I put into doing the things I listed is dragged through the muck.

I just... sometimes I put an idea out there to help someone, and then someone else just tears at every little thing wrong about it without acknowledging anything good in it. Other people will lay their praise on the side of the plate, and then throw a heaping helping of "But this is why it all sucks" for the main dish. Most people don't say a word, and so I never know if it means anything to them at all. All I want is to put a smile on someone's face, to do some good, but I find myself lost in a sea of impassivity and scorn. I'm drowning.

I wake up and check my messages, nervous that someone, somewhere, will be invalidating weeks, months, and sometimes years of effort on my part by simply saying "This is dumb and unusable." I know I should ignore the words, but when there's so little positive feedback, and a mass of nothing else, it's hard. I've given up a lot of people in my life recently who only made my life harder, my work seem less meaningful, who cause more stress than they do happiness, but I have found almost nothing to fill the holes that other people have gouged out of me.

No. It's not all bad. Some people really do listen, really do appreciate what I do and what I've done, some people will give me the greatest compliments in my life just by saying something as simple as "This is really cool" or even "Thank you for doing this." There is light in my life and wonderful people in the world whom I really couldn't live without. I don't know what I would do without that handful who stop to say "You did a good job," and leave it at that.

Anyways, this is all really just a preamble. It's all the mountain of baggage I wade through every morning. It might even be a repeat of stuff I've said before here, but I'm just too drained to check through the older pages on this thread looking for what I might have only said in my head a thousand times before.

It's all just the stuff that makes the one class I was looking forward to this semester being cancelled a week before classes begin so hard to take. Apparently, almost no one else at my little college thinks Science Fiction is worth spending a few hours a week on. This mean I need to find a new class to fill the hole or I lose all of my financial aid, and I really have no idea what I'm going to do, because almost anything I take is going to ruin my work schedule now, and those that won't ruin my schedule won't be giving me any kind of credit I might need or want (beyond the obvious hole in hours).

I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, and for any problems with flow or consistency. As an English Education Major I should probably care enough about this rant to go back through and check it, but I'm just so tired. I'm so bleeping tired... and it's only 1 in the afternoon.

In reply to Tyr Hawk (msg # 317):

I rarely read the vents in detail, but I read yours fully. I hear you. All I will say is, that its good to release your pent up frustration/anger/fears/etc. 'Release' often, consider it a kind of therapy.

I cannot offer any suggestions for your situation. All I can do, is tell you what I've done to keep my 'sanity', in no particular order,
- Watch out for myself. Sometimes it pays to be selfish.
- Keep the money rolling in. I've done all sort of work. I've never been out of work. My work really does not define me.
- Don't follow fashion/ trends or let peer pressure get to you. The amount of money I've wasted all these years..
I think its best I stop here.

Assuming one is available, see a college counselor. For example, you may be able to get an Independent Study for the credit you need. As for the rest, drop the stuff you don't enjoy...or prioritize them.

One of the best skills in life is to learn who is a Giver and who is a Taker.  Takers will gladly keeping taking as long as you're giving without a second thought to you or your well being.  Learn to recognize the Takers and minimize your contact with them.  They will literally suck the life out of you and then move on to the next Giver once you're a dried husk of your former self.

In reply to drohem (msg # 320):

I was going to word it differently, but you've said what I was thinking.  It's all very well to want to help people, but you need to take care of yourself first, else you have less to give.  Some people add to your life, and they should also come first with you, some just suck the life out of you and those should be dropped or cut to as little contact as possible.  There will always be people wanting/needing help, surely more than you can ever do, so learn the value of 'no' and choose the projects that will be appreciated and that enrich your life as well as others.

As for your course, that sucks, especially the timing.  Is OceanLake's suggestion feasible?  Otherwise I guess you'll have to pick from the available options to find the best of the poor choices.  :-(

Thank you, everyone, for your replies and your concern. I'm feeling a bit better now that I've had the chance to sleep on it, and I've even worked out my class schedule so that it'll be a bit better for me, actually. Still not exactly the class I wanted, but something almost as good (and better in some ways). So, the immediate situation that triggered the rant is solved.

The rest of this is just specific call-outs to those who offered their advice, because you all deserve as much as you've given me.

laitang:
Thank you for your kind words. I feel honored to hear that I captured your attention. Your advice is sound, and I've been working on the first one for a long time. It's just difficult for me to be selfish with most things. Sometimes, I'm very good at it >_> But most of the time it's just... difficult for me to even ask for a favor if I don't have something to give in return. Easiest thing in the world to grant them, hardest to ask. The second one is something I'm cool with, but I'd rather not switch jobs since my current job pays for most of my schooling upfront. And the third bit is, oddly enough, just how I live. Still, thank you so much for your kind words and your time.

OceanLake:
I didn't exactly speak to a counselor, but when I mentioned the dropped class to my supervisor, she jumped in on my issue and apparently solved it single-handedly. She worked with some people to get me an internship/guided study, which will be a bit of work, but which will solve everything except for not being the exact class I wanted. I'm also terrible about prioritizing without deadlines, but I hope to get better at it. ^_^ I hope...

drohem:
I know what you mean. I've had to let go of a lot of 'Takers' in my life, though I still wouldn't classify everyone in exactly two categories. More of a spectrum. I just wish I could find more people closer to the other end than I seem to, or that those people in the middle would at least speak up.

Brianna:
Picking and choosing, as I mentioned to OceanLake, is one of my hardest tasks. I'm not bad enough yet to try and help everyone (or else I'd never be on here XD), but selecting what's might be best for me and others is always difficult when I tend to think of others first, others second, and then myself third. I might not always be thinking of their opinions of me, but I do try to do what I think they'll enjoy. Maybe I can learn to be a bit more selfish by... I don't know. >-> I guess I'm open to suggestions.

Make a list. Make cuts so you have each activity on a slip. Arrange the slips from most time to least time. Note the approximate time you spend on the task. Set a target for amount of freed-up time you want. Rearrange from top (what you feel worst about dropping) to bottom (what you feel least bad about giving up). (If y9ou find yo have tasks that you enjoy or must keep doing, that's OK.) Accept the list or set some slips aside. Work with this until you find what you can accept.

BTW, resist all attempt to get you into a new activity unless you can dro an activity that takes up at least as much time.

Pay attention to your gut.  If doing something for a person makes you more stressed than happy/feeling appreciated/etc, think it over.  Is it the specific task, or the person?  Get it clear in your mind, especially if it's the person, consider their characteristics, and run, at least in your thoughts, if that person, or someone who reminds you of them, or a similar task, comes around.

Learn delaying tactics.  "I'll have to check my schedule", "I'll get back to you", and the like are perfectly legitimate responses for a busy person.  If you have trouble saying 'no', at least learn not to say an immediate and knee jerk 'yes'.  It can still be difficult to say 'no', but at least you have time to think about whether you really want to do it, and why (not).  From what you've posted, I expect you can usually find a reasonable response about why you can't, but don't get into that.  A simple 'no, I can't do that' is best; others will find arguments to tear down any reasons/excuses you give.  Remember they are the one who would get the favour, you have no obligation to give it, especially when it stresses you so, besides taking up time you could spend doing another favour, one you enjoy more (or that at least stresses you less), probably for someone who appreciates it.

I think it's funny how people still ask for age statements even though the site has a system that checks your age.

I feel the same way, GammaBear.

Some of them probably do it out of habit, or as a way to check that you're paying attention to their RtJ requirements.  Or because they'd rather have their own check in case a player starts acting like a ten year old...

Ron, I think you just insulted a lot of ten-year-olds.  ;-)

I wasn't going to say that.  :)