praguepride
 member, 1749 posts
 "Hugs for the Hugs God!"
 - Warhammer Fluffy-K
Mon 25 Jan 2021
at 20:46
Re: It's a waste of time...
That feeling when your players get completely distracted by the wrong thing. For example they enter a library with gargoyles and bookshelves and no matter how much you try and point them towards the bookshelf with the important tome on it, the party becomes obsessed with the idea that the gargoyle statues are traps or secret enemies and spend hours poking them and testing them and prodding them and you're sitting there like

"THEY'RE JUST STATUES. READ THE STUPID BOOK RIGHT HERE SO WE CAN ALL MOVE ON!"

But no, they take that as a challenge and think I'm trying to distract them so now they know not only is the gargoyle a trap but the book is as well!

Quit getting in the way of your own fun!!!

Its my personal interaction with the infamous Wild Gazebo story:

https://web.archive.org/web/20...le=article&sid=8
ladysharlyne
 subscriber, 2993 posts
 You get out of a game the
 effort you put in it !!
Mon 25 Jan 2021
at 21:31
Re: It's a waste of time...
WoW, I just had some of this in my Marvel game.  No matter how much I tried to get them to see the whole picture and go with the flow they were tied up on fighting not seeing the prompts, the leads, the important move forward.  It really wore me out like trying to pull hen's teet.  I agree with you Praguepride!
ShadoPrism
 member, 1364 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Mon 25 Jan 2021
at 23:33
Re: It's a waste of time...
In reply to praguepride (msg # 1746):

Unfortunetly I have run in to that level of Stupid in several games I have played over the years. Many left me wanting to bang my (or the players) head against a wall.
jdtucker
 member, 58 posts
Tue 26 Jan 2021
at 00:01
Re: It's a waste of time...
And then you play "The temple of Elemental Evil" where your character gets hosed with a Gargoyle with a sphere of annihilation in its mouth.

Honestly, my trust level has to be pretty high, and I'm still going to make sure the environment is safe before checking out the book.
dparasol
 member, 27 posts
 looking to uh have fun
 and destroy civilization
Tue 26 Jan 2021
at 00:08
Re: It's a waste of time...
In reply to jdtucker (msg # 1749):

In my games over Discord, I've been known to have people do similar things, and if I think it's going to seriously slow things down, I tend to say something like "Well, you spend forty minutes testing the gargoyle and eventually determine to the absolute best of your ability that it is completely benign."

I wonder how that would go over in PbP...
Isida KepTukari
 member, 377 posts
 Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Tue 26 Jan 2021
at 01:24
Re: It's a waste of time...
Honestly, at that point, you may just want to pivot to face their expectations, but also give them the direction you, as a DM, need. Obsessed with the gargoyle instead of the tome? The gargoyle now has the needed inscription in a hidden place on it, or has a secret compartment with a scroll. Heck, have it attack them and have it drop the book from its wings or something when it does. Makes the players feel important, and they still end up with the information they need for the next phase of the adventure. Otherwise everyone just gets frustrated!
ShadoPrism
 member, 1365 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Tue 26 Jan 2021
at 01:55
Re: It's a waste of time...
In reply to Isida KepTukari (msg # 1751):

If you want to be mean about it - have the statue actually be made of something like Jade. While examining it they accidently knock it over and it breaks - whole it was worth a good chunk of change, now the owner will want their heads cause its all but worthless now. (no one said the gargoyals were 'normal sized', they could easily be only a foot tall after all.
praguepride
 member, 1750 posts
 "Hugs for the Hugs God!"
 - Warhammer Fluffy-K
Tue 26 Jan 2021
at 02:08
Re: It's a waste of time...
dparasol:
"Well, you spend forty minutes testing the gargoyle and eventually determine to the absolute best of your ability that it is completely benign."

I wonder how that would go over in PbP...


Hmmm. I have done that before but not nearly as much as I should. I don't want to take away player agency and I don't want them to play on easy mode but on the flipside it is a good way to just "move on".
RanzarthPhx
 member, 46 posts
Wed 27 Jan 2021
at 15:41
Constantly the victim lol
Gotta love a DM whose story every time a player leaves their game makes themselves out to be the victim...

(Not saying I'm innocent in anyway here. I wouldn't back down from the disagreement either.)

This message was last edited by the user at 15:48, Wed 27 Jan.

praguepride
 member, 1751 posts
 "Hugs for the Hugs God!"
 - Warhammer Fluffy-K
Wed 27 Jan 2021
at 16:38
Constantly the victim lol
As the ultimate arbiter of truth in a game, it is pretty common for GMs to set the tone for why a player is booted. It's not like the now-booted player can defend themselves. Let's be honest, if you try calling out the GM in their game you likely will be booted too!
RanzarthPhx
 member, 47 posts
Wed 27 Jan 2021
at 17:20
Constantly the victim lol
In reply to praguepride (msg # 1755):

Oh no I'm not surprised. And I asked to be removed as well. I was just more laughing about the always a victim.
RanzarthPhx
 member, 48 posts
Thu 28 Jan 2021
at 17:45
Constantly the victim lol
So certain events transpired that I allowed my temper to flare and frustrations cloud my reason, leading to comments. Things I disagreed with and still do. But how I responded was not correct. There were/are better ways to respond. I tried to apologize for that.
Starchaser
 member, 845 posts
 Shoda mo tsumoreba taibok
Fri 29 Jan 2021
at 06:52
Constantly the victim lol
In reply to RanzarthPhx (msg # 1757):

I often have the same problem, RanzarthPhx. It tends to happen when I'm at my lowest and most stressed. I even lost two good friends on here because of it and I still miss them really badly.

I have another friend on here that recommended this book - Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss. I'm about half way through and its a very good read. I'd recommend it to anyone.

I still default to my old way of annoying people during an argument when I'm stressed though :/
Piestar
 member, 815 posts
 once upon a time...
 ...there was a little pie
Fri 29 Jan 2021
at 19:37
Constantly the victim lol
In reply to RanzarthPhx (msg # 1754):

So very true. The last few games I quit were because the GM's felt 'persecuted' that I expected them to read my posts and respond to my questions. When asked to stop reminding them, I simply asked to be removed from the game, that is the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM that is expected of a GM in my book, but to demand respect AND the right not to show respect to the players in a deal breaker for me.
Piestar
 member, 816 posts
 once upon a time...
 ...there was a little pie
Fri 29 Jan 2021
at 19:39
Constantly the victim lol
Current peeve: GM's who advertise for a high posting game, and players who will be there regularly, then vanish for days (or weeks) on end and doesn't understand why the players are a bit miffed.

In a game now with a GM who posts several times, every day, and it is such a joy!
SunRuanEr
 subscriber, 365 posts
Fri 29 Jan 2021
at 19:45
Constantly the victim lol
It's important to be sure to give GMs (and players) the benefit of the doubt sometimes, however. RL hasn't been kind to pretty much everyone the past year or so, and sometimes GMs need to take some time to deal with things other than RPoL.

Just because a game is regularly high-posting doesn't mean it will always be high-posting, and no one should get their knickers in a twist if people need to tend to their lives away from RPoL now and then. Operative words being 'now and then', because of course, if a game is supposed to be high-posting and it's getting maybe one post a month, consistently, for months and months and months on end without explanation...well, that's different.

By the same token, to continue with a side vent of my own: Players that are playing in a game that isn't high-posting, and is in fact slow-posting (and advertised as such) that won't wait more than 48 freakin' hours for another player to respond to a post before they steamroll over them and take away the opportunity for anyone else to do anything - even when they were the ones that had asked the other character/s a question/given them something that needed responding to in the first place.
Piestar
 member, 817 posts
 once upon a time...
 ...there was a little pie
Fri 29 Jan 2021
at 19:53
Constantly the victim lol
I can see that your vent would be a problem, part of why I don't join games that are listed as slow posting. In my case however, these are games that someone NEVER become high posting. I understand the occasional lull, but when slow is the norm, I get grumpy, if it was advertised as being otherwise.
Boogs
 member, 19 posts
 I do boogie consistently.
 Consistently boogie I do.
Thu 11 Feb 2021
at 16:26
Skin in the Game
It is so strange to me that players will hang on to "playing" a character so log instead of just calling it quits. It's the kind of individuals who log in every couple of days but never post for weeks despite an active game. Why do you do that to the DM? Why do you do that to the players? You can just say you need a break, or lost interest, or don't know what to do.

Think about what made you join the game in the first place. Was it the thrill of adventure and it's moving a little to slow for you? Is it you have a concept but are too busy/nervous/scared to write about them in their own story, possibly because it will shatter the perfect image you cherish so deeply in your imagination, so you would rather use the safety net of others to inspire your creativity? I really can understand that.

But you need to realize that whatever way you thought the roleplay will go as the perfect scenario in your head will rarely - if ever - come true. It's a collaborative means, a game, with levels of variables that despite the world idealized in your mind will be affected by the vision of others. Once you accept that, it'll be alot easier to throw some skin in the game.

Or just let go. Really, just say, "Sorry, too busy" or "I overcommitted to too many games." It's okay to be an adult about it. Works for me.
Piestar
 member, 826 posts
 once upon a time...
 ...there was a little pie
Thu 11 Feb 2021
at 16:39
Skin in the Game
In reply to Boogs (msg # 1763):

That is frustrating, but to a certain degree I feel it is the DM's responsibility to protect the game, and the players who participate. I'll kill off players like that, and I suspect they usually appreciate it.
ShadoPrism
 member, 1371 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Thu 11 Feb 2021
at 18:06
Skin in the Game
In reply to Boogs (msg # 1763):

I am kind of doing that now, but I told the others why I am not posting - truthfully, I been really sick lately and its killing my creativity. So in my case better to not play than do lame post or worse, go agro on all the npcs. That never ends well.
Piestar
 member, 828 posts
 once upon a time...
 ...there was a little pie
Thu 11 Feb 2021
at 18:09
Skin in the Game
In reply to ShadoPrism (msg # 1765):

Communication is the key. If a player is having those issues in my world, and they tell me, I can usually place them off screen, so to speak, until they feel better.
Boogs
 member, 20 posts
 I do boogie consistently.
 Consistently boogie I do.
Thu 11 Feb 2021
at 19:53
Skin in the Game
In reply to ShadoPrism (msg # 1765):

I actually have to say that's not what you're doing at all. Like Piestar said, communication is key. That fact that you're saying something at least lets not just the DM but the players know what's going on.

And Piestar, I agree that a part of the DM's responsibility is to protect their baby, but being that it is also collaborative by design, I'm finding that most DMs I've had the opportunity to write/game with really do try to be accommodating, and they can only work with so much.

I wouldn't expect anyone to constantly post a FB style update, and I'm not even talking about players ghosting (that is much more reasonable). I mean specifically those players that keep logging in with no info to the DM, then can't be bothered to respond to PMs or rMail (though in that feature's defense I've missed it even with the notification on the bottom.)
Piestar
 member, 830 posts
 once upon a time...
 ...there was a little pie
Thu 11 Feb 2021
at 20:02
Skin in the Game
Oh that's a banning right there though. Logging in, but ignoring attempts to communicate? That's not acceptable.

That said, it is important to realize that if I post in that characters name (which I do, though I put in the post it is from me) that RPoL does show that the character has posted.
NowhereMan
 member, 417 posts
Thu 11 Feb 2021
at 21:41
Skin in the Game
To be fair to the theoretical player in-question, there are some mobile browsers that reload tabs regularly, even if you're not viewing them, which could lead to false positives. I know I've shown up as having logged in while on a hiatus before.
ladysharlyne
 subscriber, 3011 posts
 Member before Oct 2005
 The glass is half full
Fri 12 Feb 2021
at 17:19
Re: It's a waste of time...
Hiya

My peeve is that you have a slow to moderate paced game because we all have real lives,  but a player makes a post then the game is hung up until they post again and so as the PGM I check if they have looked in, I have an away and returning thread, I have in my rules to keep in touch, do not look in without saying something and after several of the looking ins and not verbal contact I delete them from the game.  We all have real lives, much happens with family, health, work, etc and I get that but a word as to why not posting is expected.  Yet it is the inevitable some just ghost the game, some are just gone.  I always try PMs and Rmail to reach players before deleting, but Ghosting is just not on and it is a bye-bye as my rules even say.  Sheesh some people could learn some posting playing manners/etiquette but some never will, some do not care.