Evil Empryss
 member, 1366 posts
 Because knowing
 is half the battle!
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 01:07
Re: frivolous question
Spent the end of last week scrambling with some coworkers to get everything prepared to help one of the other women escape an abusive domestic relationship.  She had a place to go where she could live indefinitely rent- and utilities-free, we'd haul her stuff out with my trailer for free, and we had all the paperwork for her to set up protective orders to safeguard herself and her kids.  Her husband was out of state and I had the police alerted to what was going down in case someone got word to him and he arrived home early.  All she had to do was walk out the door with her kids and let us get everything packed for her.

She bailed on us half an hour before we were due to arrive at her house.

Every woman that was helping her had been in an abusive relationship in the past.  We all know how hard it can be to get out, but none of us had this kind of help to do it.  This woman has everything someone in her position could want -- financial, emotional, social, and legal support -- and she won't take that step.  We can't make her do it, 'cuz then we'd be just as big of bullies as her husband, but it is taking all my restraint not to smack her one upside the back of the head to knock some sense into her.
ShadoPrism
 member, 860 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 01:53
Re: frivolous question
In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 137):

Yeah, I can Totally see where your coming from there. Some people just seem to need that extra little push from time to time.
nuric
 member, 2858 posts
 Love D&D,superhero games
 Not very computer savvy
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 04:18
Re: frivolous question
In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 137):

It's a very difficult situation.   I'm so glad you tried, though.
GammaBear
 member, 508 posts
 Gaymer
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 07:39
Re: frivolous question
Sadly, you can't help those who aren't willing to help themselves.
Merevel
 member, 999 posts
 Gaming :-)
 Very unlucky
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 13:36
Re: frivolous question
In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 137):

:-/

I know a few women like that. Part of my bad luck with women lol. Anyhoots I know one that took a gun being pointed at her face to leave the relationship.

Wow I have to lean in close >.<
Brianna
 member, 2007 posts
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 19:07
Re: frivolous question
*sigh*  My daughter's pushing for me to get a walker or similar support.  She wants me to go out walking, and I can't do it unsupported for any distance now.  But I'm pretty sure once I start using anything I'll lose all my sense of balance and have trouble even getting around here without support.  I know that's one reason why the chiropractor didn't want me using a cane even years ago, the way I would become dependant on it.  But I understand what she wants too, she wants me to go out more, she thinks this will put off deterioration a bit longer, and in other ways that may be true.  I guess I'll ask the doctor, but he's never been much help before, just prescribes pain killers instead of ordering the tests that might find what else is wrong and how to treat it.
Evil Empryss
 member, 1367 posts
 Because knowing
 is half the battle!
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 19:30
Re: frivolous question
At twenty-eight years old I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and some funky-sounding problem with both knees that causes a lot of pain on a daily basis. I fought the use of a cane or walker for years, and now I feel stupid for being pigheaded about my health. I wasn't better for not using it, I wasn't tougher, and it didn't make me worse when I finally gave in. On the contrary, because I have them available when I need them, I can go further and do more with my family than I could when I was toughing out the pain. I can actually make it thru a shopping trip, or to the zoo, something I cannot do unaided on my good days, much less my bad days.

I don't know what your specific problems are, but people don't generally "become dependent on" assistive technology, they just realize they needed it all along and it makes their lives easier to live. I highly recommend you give it a shot. You may find it a big improvement and nowhere near the trauma you imagine.
Brianna
 member, 2008 posts
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 20:26
Re: frivolous question
I have problems with most of my joints, but especially my hips.  People have no idea how much they use their hip joints for balance until they don't work properly!  But I think my balance issues are more than that.  I get around in places like the grocery store with the support of the cart, but I have to be careful to stand straight as much as I can else I end up with issues with my back and shoulders.  I watch people with walkers; they tend to lean into them, in fact there doesn't seem to be any other way to use them, since the basket and seat seem to prevent any other way.  I know when my mother and aunt started using walkers, they very quickly lost the ability to walk properly without one.  I expect to some extent this was an extension of the problems that caused them to use on in the first place, but the change seemed more dramatic than that.
Evil Empryss
 member, 1368 posts
 Because knowing
 is half the battle!
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 20:52
Re: frivolous question
I know what you're talking about, seeing people hunched over walkers.  From what my RN sister tells me, that's usually caused by one of two things: something wrong with the spine that won't let them stand or (more commonly, I think) poor education on walker use.  You need to have the walker properly sized to you and learn to use it properly.  Don't get the one with the basket under the seat: it forces you to stand farther back from the handles and your means of support (which causes you to lean).  I use the Dolomite Legacy 600 (it's a pretty blue), and when I stand in it, I look like this:  http://www.phc-online.com/v/vs.../images/dol_seat.jpg

I use a four-wheeled walker with the brakes in the handles (kinda like a bicycle hand brake).  The basket being positioned in the front is removable, and the seat folds up completely out of the way.  In my opinion, it is a much better setup than the under-the-seat basket models.  When I use mine, I fit between the handles easily with my elbows only slightly bent.  If I straighten my arms, I can bring almost all the weight off my legs and still be safely balanced between the handles.  My fibro pain tends to hit worst in my lower back and hips, so the best part is that I have a seat on mine, and a basket in the front, so I can do a little shopping and then sit down while waiting in line.  The ability to sit while waiting has been the greatest benefit of the walker over the cane.

The handles also need to be set so that they aren't too high or too low for you.  I actually have to change the position of mine based off the height of the shoes I'm wearing that day: it can make that big a difference in how I feel.

Oh, and a fun little fact that many people don't know: a four-wheeled walker is a blast to use with a pair of heelies -- those sneakers with wheels in the heels.  I can cruise through the mall with ease with a pair of those and my walker as stability and external brakes.  Just don't get going too fast and hit the brakes, or you'll go apples-over-teakettle over the front of it.  I know this from hilarious experience.  I am so glad my husband didn't have his phone out that day, or I'd be a YouTube star.  ^_^
ShadoPrism
 member, 861 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 22:55
Re: frivolous question
Gods I wish I could use a walker or cane, but my shoulders are to damaged to allow it. (broke both in a car accident years ago)
Got arthritis in my knee's and lower back, before the accident I really relied on my canes, now I can't take the strain on my shoulders.
IF you can use either one do so. Like Empryss said, they are a great help.
Wyrm
 member, 583 posts
Mon 28 Sep 2015
at 23:14
Re: frivolous question
In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 145):

*takes detailed notes*
kouk
 member, 594 posts
Tue 29 Sep 2015
at 00:24
Re: frivolous question
quote:
... and some funky-sounding problem with both knees that causes a lot of pain on a daily basis.


Chondromalacia Patella? Funkiest name I know for knees. Also, probably the only one.

EDIT: Fun fact: I spelled that right the first time from memory. :)

This message was last edited by the user at 00:27, Tue 29 Sept 2015.

Evil Empryss
 member, 1369 posts
 Because knowing
 is half the battle!
Tue 29 Sep 2015
at 00:27
Re: frivolous question
Close!  Bilateral Chondromalagia.  ^_^

Which is basically a fancy way of saying "your knees hurt, but we have no real clue why despite running every test under the sun".

Maybe they just didn't add the "patella" part.

This message was last edited by the user at 00:27, Tue 29 Sept 2015.

kouk
 member, 595 posts
Tue 29 Sep 2015
at 00:37
Re: frivolous question
According to the Internets, we're talking about the same thing. Except you have it in both knees by name :p
pitademon
 member, 803 posts
 hi all
Tue 29 Sep 2015
at 02:33
Re: frivolous question
In reply to Evil Empryss (msg # 149):

It goes with 'plantar fascitis' (you have a foot pain, we don't know what it is).  The Patella bilateral chondromalagia, to me is a fancy way for a Doctor to say 'shin splints', which is also a pain they have no idea what causes it.  You know I'd be more impressed with a doctor that if he cannot identify it or the source to just say...I have no idea what it is.  And save me the fee of having to go through 4 more visits
Evil Empryss
 member, 1370 posts
 Because knowing
 is half the battle!
Tue 29 Sep 2015
at 02:44
Re: frivolous question
Part of the problem is insurance companies: they don't like docs racking up fees for tests and not finding anything.  Give something a name and they can get paid for all the work of making sure it's not something that's going to kill you outright.
Brianna
 member, 2009 posts
Tue 29 Sep 2015
at 04:30
Re: frivolous question
In reply to pitademon (msg # 151):

I also have plantar fascitis, mostly under control though.  Unlike most people who have that, I have to wear shoes with a heel, even when I'm sitting, 1 3/4" seems to be optimal but almost impossible to find something that works with the other problems with my feet (and my very limited budget.  I don't know why you say they don't know what it is though, it's a shortening of the tendons in the bottom of your feet.  I have a stretching exercise I used to have to do every morning, now only when I feel a flair-up coming on.

Empryss:  I don't know if that kind of walker is available here, have to see.  And then figure out how to pay for it.  *sigh*  Still the issue of balance though, if I learn to depend on anything other than myself, I will surely lose some ability.  I still also have trouble picturing myself going out for a walk; even the idea makes me feel very vulnerable.  Like what if I fall, for instance?
ShadoPrism
 member, 863 posts
 OCGD-Obsessive-Compulsive
 Gamer-Disorder
Thu 8 Oct 2015
at 23:27
ARG
I dropped my brand new phone just a bit ago, shattered the screen.
Just got it monday, and now got to pay $50 to get it replaced :((
Cost me $150 to get it originally. So my new phone now runs me $200. (fell out of my pocket when I bent over to put the cat food down. Landed glass side down.)
Phone still works, but swiping the screen is a tad painful now.
Brianna
 member, 2011 posts
Fri 9 Oct 2015
at 19:39
ARG
In reply to ShadoPrism (msg # 154):

Sounds as though you'd better get a holster for your phone!
Tortuga
 member, 1586 posts
Tue 13 Oct 2015
at 00:30
ARG
My cat is sick. :(
Brianna
 member, 2015 posts
Tue 13 Oct 2015
at 21:05
ARG
In reply to Tortuga (msg # 156):

Oh, dear, what's wrong?  How serious, how old is the cat, etc?

The old cat here was sick a few weeks ago.  We think she's about 17 or 18, but more than that anything is serious for her because she's basically a pile of fur with bones inside, and she's champion at avoiding medication.  She recovered that one though, OK for now, fingers crossed.  Hope your outcome is equally favourable!
Tortuga
 member, 1587 posts
Wed 14 Oct 2015
at 18:50
ARG
He's fourteen. Healthy as a cat half his age, most of the time. Aside from some (fixed) dental problems and a managed thyroid condition, never had any serious problems.

Then about a month ago his appetite starts tapering off. We switch up his food, thinking he might just be finicky, but it gets to the point where we basically have to hound him to get him to finish a tablespoon of food.

Then he stops eating. This is very serious, for a cat. Shows signs of nausea, licking his lips, etc, when presented with food. We take him to the vet, they do some bloodwork. At this point he'll only eat if we hold the food directly under his face, and then only sometimes.

The bloodwork shows that his thyroid is fine, but he has an elevated white count, so they prescribe broad antibiotics; pills compacted in tuna.

We try giving him one, but he collapses halfway through it. Just falls over, panting, losing control of his bladder.

We take him to the emergency vet.

Turns out he had a vagal episode... basically gagging so hard that his heart goes off, and he fainted. They give him an antibiotic shot and an anti-nausea shot, and for a few days we see improvement. He's a little more active, eating a bit more.

Then the nausea shot wears off and he's back to the way he was.

At this point the vet tells us that it's likely not a simple infection, or he'd be showing improvement by now.

Today he's going in for an ultrasound. They have to shave his belly, hold him down, wand him. He's going to hate it, be terrified, and not understand any of it, but it's the best thing to do for it.

The two most likely scenarios at this point are pancreatitis or possible an intestinal tumor. Both are very serious. Our household conversations have turned to "quality of life discussion."

It could be something else, of course. But we don't know. We won't know until tomorrow, probably.

And then we'll have to make some sort of really difficult decision.
Little_Devil
 member, 156 posts
Thu 15 Oct 2015
at 00:20
Such a shame.
Very close family member has recently been in a head on collision and is in hospital, being taken care of thankfully. But it leaves me empty. I go home and worry, I try to ask the nurses to stay but I'm not allowed. I get no sleep and I frequently find myself trying to pass time that seems to want to stand still.

Whilst I have no time or little time to come on here I do want to come back and make a go of it. I've had to and will cut down a few games, however unfortunately I have nobody on here personally to talk to. That saddens me even more.

I want to write again but I feel I can't my muse is half gone and I'm trying to ignite it again. Yet things just don't seem to be moving for me, i feel like I was utterly abandoned by my friends on here when I needed them the most. Not even a single "Are you ok?" Because its unusual for me not to post or not be on for a day or two.

So how do I get back into the swing when I want to but I feel restricted?

Just at a loose end at the minute and I want to physically scream all of it away.
kouk
 member, 600 posts
Thu 15 Oct 2015
at 00:29
Such a shame.
Do you really want to write, or do you mostly feel obligated?
Little_Devil
 member, 157 posts
Thu 15 Oct 2015
at 00:32
Such a shame.
I want to write because it's my hobby, it's what I do even if I only have a few minutes to get on here. I'll sneak a peak at a few posts and then until I can post and write I'll be happily and excitedly thinking on what I can reply.

But I need to get back in the swing of things and I'm finding that harder now I don't have anyone to talk to.