In reply to V_V (msg # 2317):

As someone who was once homeless and reduced to what he could carry...I'm hoping for the best for you from here-forward.

In reply to V_V (msg # 2317):

It sounds like you've endured a lot of trauma. That's going to limit your capacity to do things and withstand things. As such, you might try limiting yourself to running one game until you're in a better place and satisfied with the game's progress.

In reply to V_V (message # 2317)

I understand you completely. and i am so, so sorry you had to go through that. I hope things get better, for the world is turning... well... lets just say its not good. but the fact that you fought through the struggle that came with only having what you can carry... i applaud you. there is nothing i can say to ease your suffering or trauma, but know this: here, you have people who will listen to you. Here, you have potential freinds. I have a slight(SLIGHT) understanding of what you went through. For a few months, when i was very young, i was homeless, too. My and my mother had just escaped a very, very abusive person(no, seriosly! this guy would put guns to our heads, hit us, starve us, and other things i prefer not to talk about, but ill say this: my mother suffered too much. there was some very, very horrible and frightening things that happened to her. but after the period of homelessness, me and my mother lived with her mother for a while, until my trauma and PTSD caught up with me and my survival skills kicked in, because there were nights when my moms moms husband wouldnt feed me. i had to sneak out of the laundry room where i slept, go into the kitchen, and try to take food to survive. it got to the point where my moms moms husband planted false evedence of me trying to sneak  knife to school so that he could force me out of his house. thankfully, i wasnt arrested; i was too young, but even my mom didnt beleive me when i said i didnt do it. then, i went to live with my emotionally abusive grandparents. my grandma was worse than my moms moms husband. she would scream at me, deny me food and water for days at a time, and my grandfather didnt do anything about it. thankfully, sometimes i could go over to my freinds house and hang out with them for a few hours, but i would always end up back with her in my face. meanwhile, my mom's abuser had tracked her down again and trapped her, stopping her from contacting anyone. we all thought she was dead. i nearly committed suicide. but, then she escaped again, changed her online name, hid, had help from a support community to keep her safe. she then found out a few years later that the abuser had died painfully from heart problems.(drinking too much). it was the happiest day of my life. after that, i was able to move back in with her. and now, my stepdad, who is an awesome guy, supports my mom in every way. god, this is long, isnt it? well, its 2:50 in the morning for me, imma go to bed now. Night everyone!

hey everyone. just wanted to use this thread for what it was made for: venting, and hopefully getting support and advice.
me, being 15 years old, live with my mom, dad, and 9 year old brother. however, my 9 year old brother is so manipulative that he can get away with practically anything. today, i was hanging out with him, playing skyrim, watching tv with him, and he was getting mad at a game he was playing on roblox.
i asked him a question, an he snapped at me,"dont talk to me, [censored]"
i raised my eyebrows, and got up to go downstairs and let my mother know what was going on, because this sort of thing happens every day. and thats when my brother thought to himself,"oh no. ive messed up now; better get myself out of trouble," and starts screaming at the top of his lungs"HE'S BENG MEAN TO ME! HE PUNCHED ME AND TOLD ME THAT I WAS A [censored]!"
now, at that point, i knew what was happening, and was determined to put a stop to it before it spiraled out of control, but it was too late. my mother came running up the stairs, hugged him tight, and told me,"youve done messed up, buddy."
after he had finished telling her his made-up story ahout how i beat him up(no marks, no bruises...) he turned to me and said,"now what do you have to say for yourself?"
now, this next part is completely my fault. i have a very, very short temper when it comes to my brother being blatantly disrespectful and not getting in trouble for it, and i growled at him,"why dont you tell your mother the REAL story, [censored]. god knows she could use it for once."
he started bawling, my mother spanked me, and no matter what i did, i couldnt get her to beleive that i didnt hurt my brother.
i could never hurt him, no matter how much of a jerk he is.

i dont know what to do. please, i need advice on what to do about my brother doing this to me.
because, every time something like this happens, he turns around and somehow gets me in trouble, while he gets off scott free.

LightShadowDragon, Ouch. That sounds very painful and frustrating... but it's a very well worded request.

I would wait until a quiet time, say over dinner, and ask your parents that. If that doesn't help, you could ask your grandparents that. You could ask your family priest if your family's religious. Somebody who is respected by the family and will start making comments to your parents.

It must be very tempting to get some payback, but I wouldn't do that. I'd keep my nose clean and be seen to be the honest one. When people start realising that there is a problem and you start explaining your side clearly, they will start looking more closely.



If someone invites you to say your side of the story, don't waste it. "Oh, can I say something now? It's my turn? Thank you. Right, here's what really happened."
This message was last edited by the user at 10:43, Tue 06 Aug.

In reply to LightShadowDragon (msg # 2322):

I went through similar issues with my own siblings forty+ years ago.  My recommendation is:. Do you have a cell phone?  Start recording your interactions with your brother.  Especially if you realize something may happen ahead of time.  Or when it begins.  Use the voice recorder, that way you don't have to have your phone in hand.  You can pretend you were texting someone, and many have a "stealth mode", where they will record while another app is up on your screen.
Believe me, I wish we had this technology back then.

I'm going to offer a perhaps unpopular counterpoint here.

Don't be a tattletale.

I'm sure it's not the only incident where your little brother has pushed some buttons, but in the exact scenario you shared, it started when you got up to go and tattle on him using a bad word. He's your brother. Siblings don't rat out their siblings for something as inconsequential as language.

Did your brother take it to an extreme level of escalation? Sure. But you started the escalation. "Don't talk to me fruitface!" is easily responded to with "Fine, I won't" and then walk away. You're 15. He's 9. The onus is on you to be the better person in any given situation.

That he knew the moment you left the room that he needed to cover his apples because you were going to tell on him to your mother says it happens a lot.
This message was last edited by the user at 12:59, Tue 06 Aug.

^^ This.

Sounds like your little brother was being a goober.  I bet you acted like a goober at 9 years old as well.

It's a phase.  You grew out of it, so will he.

Right now, you are losing a game that he has invited you to play.  Mainly because 9-year-olds are better at being childish than 15-year-olds.

A suggestion.  Stop taking the bait.  No one ever wins in a 'I'm going to tell mom' contest.

Instead, model behavior for him that he will hopefully aspire to and emulate. Be the cool big brother and I bet the little guy stops trying so hard to get under your skin and makes more of an effort to just be allowed to hang out with you.

And if/when that doesn't work ... just wait until you get your license and then let little bro know that he only gets to ride with you when he stops being a twerp.  There's a whole wide world out there that doesn't involve being under the strict supervision of the 'Rents, and the moment that your little brother gets hip to the fact that he gets to  tag along with you ... but only if you let him ... well, then he will change his tune real quick.

Or, you know, don't.  Let him stay home with his toys or whatever and get out of the house and do whatever you want that doesn't involve lots of face time with the little guy.
This message was last edited by the user at 13:28, Tue 06 Aug.

In reply to Ski-Bird (msg # 2326):

Some people do not grow out of it  if no one stands up to them to tell them it is wrong and they will do it for the rest of their lives.  Allowing someone to lie without being punished in some way just make them believe lying is the right way to do things.

As your parents appear based on your description, (i'm assuming that at 15 and 9 you are not completely blameless either)  they are automatically taking the side of the younger sibling  instead of investigating as they should.  My ex wife had this problem were her son was always right and i was always wrong.  Heck my aunt (70+) who is more or less like a mom had this issue once, well until she actually saw the evidence in her sons (30's) phone that what i said was correct, well at least more correct than what her son said.

record or attempt to record him doing it, play it for your parents. repeat this process until both your parents learn to not just believe the younger sibling, and/or the younger sibling learns to not lie.  Even after the lesson is learned do not be afraid to pull out the phone and pretend to record , this is call psychological reinforcement.    Even if you cant get it on video pulling out your phone and threatening you are recording it will help, as you only have to actually get a few of these interactions to begin the process.

You are 15 and should not be in that position of having to be the adult.  There will be some hurt feelings when people who are not normally held accountable, suddenly get held accountable.  expect that,
This message was last edited by the user at 13:50, Tue 06 Aug.

thank you all for your support.
in message 2324, pheonix9lives, you said if i had a phone.
i dont.
but, at one point, i had a mp3 player that could record.
so yes, ive tried it.
the outcome of that was my dad finding out and smashing my mp3 player.

Ice Raven, Message 2323: good suggestion! the thing is, everyone EXCEPT for my parents sees how bad he is. for example: my brother went to stay at my nana's house for a week.
when he came back, my uncle who also lives there told me that my brother was a jerk, starting fights, and being a tattletale.
i told him he does it at home too.
my uncle replied with this:"i am so sorry. i dont have any control over your parents, but they need to do something. ill try to talk to your nana and try to convince her to let you come over for a few days, and hopefully we can get you out of there for a bit."
me and him dont even have the best relationship, and he was feeling for me.

in message 2326, Ski-Bird says a few things that i need to cover.
One:(covering SunRuanER's message #2325) my brother is the ultimate tattletail. he's known for it at school.
i thought it would be nice if he got a taste of his own medicine for once.
two:im not the best role model. i get in a lot of fights at school because of my red hair and my small size and my ADHDand PTSD.
Three:i cant wait to get a lisence, but my parents wont buy me a car. theyve told me so.
Four: i cant leave my house unsupervised. look up the crime rates in Tacoma, Washington. theyre brutal. just a few hours ago i heard gunshots down the street. and even if i asked to be supervised, my parents woudnt let me.
Thankfully, for the next two weeks, im going to get a job at school. at the end of it, ill earn 800 dollars, and ill be there from 7:30 am to 3:30 pm, so ill be able to get away from him.
just beleive me when i say this: ive tried everything with my brother.
ive tried being calm, walking away, yelling, staying silent, covering my ears, staring at him, going along with what hes saying, telling him hes adopted(lol that one shut him down for a sec) and almost everything i can think of EXCEPT being physical.
as much as i want to give the kid what he deserves, i just cant.
i love the kid too much.
i just want you all to know this: while im on this site, everything else in my life falls away. i feel safe. i feel like im respected and liked.
Thank you.
Thank you for inviting me into the family of RPoL.
This message was last edited by the user at 07:41, Wed 07 Aug.

Well, good luck.

It does sound to me like you need to get out of the house. Get an after school job. Join scouts. Take up BMX riding, or a martial art, or some kind of sport. Something. Then arrange transport, either Mum & Dad drop you off and pick you up, or a friend's Mum, or get a bike.

If you can get a job, you can get a phone. It doesn't have to be the latest iphone, it can be a $30 phone from Walmart of wherever. It just needs to be able to record stuff.

All the best!

And welcome to RPOL....

Good luck, bud.

Being a teen can stink sometimes.  This too shall pass.

Especially if you're dealing with kid who does like to shower....
This message was last edited by the user at 19:05, Thu 08 Aug.

In reply to LightShadowDragon (msg # 2328):

thank you all for your support.
in message 2324, pheonix9lives, you said if i had a phone.
i dont.
but, at one point, i had a mp3 player that could record.
so yes, ive tried it.
the outcome of that was my dad finding out and smashing my mp3 player.

Sadly yes, this is from your description a bad place to be in where even when presented with evidence your parents dont listen.

If you can spend more time with your uncle and nana if possible.

I grew up in one of the worst neighborhoods in my hometown.  Cops would take an hour or more to respond, though the closest station was less than five minutes away; for awhile, there was a police substation in an apartment building a block or two away from my mom's house, but response times did not improve any.  My Army recruiter told me he preferred the Southside of Chicago to my neighborhood.  I got beat up in that neighborhood.  A lot.
But, you can not spend your life living in fear.  That's not living.  It's barely surviving.  Life is inherently risky.  Trust me, you won't get out of it alive.
By brother and sister were both little snots.  They always started fights (which I defended myself, but tried to avoid hurting them, but they had no such self-imposed restraints), stole my toys, did all kinds of things for which I got into trouble.  Because I was the oldest, more responsible.  They kept doing it because they knew mom would believe them over me.  Every time.
Then one day,I decided the next time they started a fight, I was going to fight to win.  I figured that, if I was going to get into trouble anyway, I might as well make it worth it.  While I felt bad for hurting them, and I got into a LOT of trouble for it (as in punished with a belt), I felt vindicated.  And they thought twice about starting fights with me again.
Now, I know, people are going to say,"Violence is never the answer, especially with younger siblings."  The problem is that, sometimes, it is the only viable solution.  If it wasn't, we would never have wars.  Even in "beating the stuffing" out of my siblings, I restrained my self.  I'd learned some pressure points, so I could cause pain without actual injury.  Not that my mother ever asked for proof.....
Do not get me wrong.  I am not advocating the use of violence against your sibling.  I'm just explaining what worked in my case.  The problem is that bullies rarely respect peaceful answers to problems.  And your brother sounds like an absolute bully.

Those are my thoughts too. One or two good bloody noses will fix a bully.

This message was deleted by the user at 05:01, Fri 09 Aug.

Wow. I never though this many people would reach out and give their support. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

I tried hanging out with him today, and it actually went well.
Befoe we started, i told him that i wasnt up for any problems, and i wasnt going to stand his fit-throwing. i told him that at the first sign of trouble, i would go back to my room.
It worked really well.
He had no fits, was really nice, and every time he started to get frustrated he took a step back.(we were playing Minecraft. he kept getting killed by a Warden.)
Hopefully this trend continues.
Wish me luck!

My little brother was a jerk as well, and quite manipulative as well.
I could entertain myself on my own, as I was the firstborn and I didn't have an older brother or sister.
He couldn't entertain himself on his own, as he was born after me and he grew up having an elder brother always at hand to bother :)
It was a bit of a complicated relationship, as you can understand first hand, but years passed fast and in time everything went behind our shoulders and we have a great brotherly relation.
I know that at the moment it is complicated, but people do change (children even more!) and complicated situations do end (and maybe new complicated situations with other people may well start, but that's another story).
This message was last edited by the user at 14:37, Sun 11 Aug.

In response to Yaztromo(message #2337)
I'll keep that in mind!
I have been hanging out with him on and off for the past few days with minor issues.
He seems to have gotten the message after the original reason i got grounded.(i didn't talk or look at him for an entire day)
But now, he wants to play video games with me, and i do, and the first few times i beat him in Brawlhalla, he's fine.
But then i absolutely crush him using Mirage(scythe light attack combo) and he gets all salty.
So i tell him straight up:
"If you're gonna throw a fit over a dumb game, i can just leave."
And he didn't get mad again.
:) it's 1:02 AM in the morning... i have insomnia and i can't sleeeeeeep...
Ahhhhhggg...

I swear.

Absolutely nothing makes people toss any idea of driving etiquette out the window like a school pick-up/drop-off line.
This message was last updated by the user at 12:46, Fri 16 Aug.

So true.
So true.

It's not bad enough that I'm having yet another of my bipolar days where I just want to crawl under a rock...but now the neighbors are having themselves another round of smoking weed....INSIDE!

So, I just sent the Youtuber Ssundee an email.
I'm hoping he replies, but I don't know. He's my favorite Youtuber, and I just wanted to throw this out there.

Thanks, parents of a kid I don't know. I really appreciate my kid receiving an invitation on Friday to a party on Sunday that they'll be absolutely heartbroken to miss, on a weekend that I have things planned for both days that can't really be rescheduled this late on a Friday.

Good job giving notice. Yup. Thanks. Appreciate it.

Now I get to deal with A) Tears, B) Frantic Schedule Juggling, C) Not getting things done that need doing, or D) All of the above.

Probably D.