member, 18 posts
 What goes...
 ...in here?
Mon 30 Dec 2019
at 11:34
Etiquette Question
I'm new to the site (and, in fact, the entire concept) so I'd like to ask for some guidance on the unwritten, cultural rules of the site.

  1. How many days of nothing happening is generally considered enough to view a game as "dead"?  7? 10? 14? 20? 30?  There's about four games in my list that have gone so long without anything happening that I can't really get into my character headspace any longer.  What's a good cut-off point for deciding it's enough without coming across like a mayfly?
  2. Whatever the suggested limit, what is the polite way to leave a game?  I assume that just ghosting is rude.  What's the usual process?  PM to the GM?  rMail to the GM?  Something else?

 member, 721 posts
 Gaijin otaku metalhead
 Don't poke the deep ones!
Mon 30 Dec 2019
at 11:42
Etiquette Question
My games are still alive! please don't leave!


But seriously. I'd give it at least a month if I was you. Also a polite PM to the GM is usually enough. Unless you are in one of those solo thread games in which case letting your writing partners know as well is probably a good idea.
 member, 267 posts
 GURPS GM and Player
Mon 30 Dec 2019
at 12:02
Re: Etiquette Question
What's a good cut-off point for deciding it's enough without coming across like a mayfly?

I let things lay for two weeks before I post in the OOC/General Discussion asking if the game is still alive.  On the holidays I might go 3 weeks.

Whatever the suggested limit, what is the polite way to leave a game?

I put a post in the OOC/General thread and a PM to the GM.  Usually I start with a PN along the lines of "Will be leaving by [DATE] if the game doesn't pick up", and then on leave date I pop a post into OOC/General saying goodbye to the other Players.

Granted the above is theoretical, as I've never left a game for 'slow downs' but because a game actually fell apart or over catastrophic personality differences between myself and the GM.
 member, 895 posts
 Game Archaeologist
Mon 30 Dec 2019
at 12:04
Re: Etiquette Question
If it is due to a holiday period, it may be a good idea to wait till after the holiday.
If it is not then I would think an entire month with no activity is a good sign that it is going nowhere.

I have a problem with people that just update occasionally. It makes it much harder to determine if they are actually playing and life is interfering or if they just don't want to admit they are not really engaged.

An Out of Character / General Chat thread is a good place to fish for interest responses.
If people can't be bothered to respond when they are not "waiting for the other players" then they are just Lurking and not Playing.
 member, 97 posts
 Hopepunk with a shovel
Mon 30 Dec 2019
at 12:05
Etiquette Question
Different games go at different speeds, so there's no set time...if you were running at 4 posts a month, say, it might take 2 months to realise it died, whereas something where folk were making multiple daily posts and there's suddenly nothing for 10 days with no known reason? Probably dead.

If you're pretty certain the GM has plain vanished, just press that little minus symbol beside the game to drop it from your sticky list; should the game revive by a miracle, it will come back, and you can read through what you had to get back into the swing of things without keeping that mental 'bookmark' active and draining your creative energy.

If it's a slow game and you hit a holiday period and/or aren't sure if it has died, PM the GM. If you see the GM elsewhere on RPoL and they haven't logged in or posted to the game, try an RMail to ask if they are keeping it around for a reason, give notice of your quitting, or ask if they're going to delete it like a responsible game owner (beware of GMs who hoard games they abandoned without deleting, for the look of being highly competent with lots of active games on the Players Wanted board...they won't stick with whatever they're advertising, either).